Another Path for Another Life
by mmeoakenshield
Summary: I wanted to grant Thorin Oakenshield with the life he deserved, as : a great King under the Mountain ; a deeply loved and deeply in love husband ; a beamingfather. Original Story : (c) Me (c) ; Re-Writting : (c) Me & Valérie Fosse, my co-writer (c) ; English Translation : (c) Valérie Fosse, my co-writer (c)
1. HOMELESS

Erebor was lost, and Dale was no more than ashes and ruins. Everything had burned around them, leaving them all scorched and wounded and homeless. The sky was black with smoke, hiding the sun and turning the world into a black chaos full of corpses, full of weeping women and screaming children. The air was full with the stench of charred wood and death. The small river running through the valley, between Erebor and Dale, was choked with a thick layer of gray ash, turning the water into poison. Men and Dwarves alike were standing outside, listening to Smaug's loud roars of ecstasy as he wallowed in the mountain's gold like a pig in the mud.

 **« And now ? »** Lady Dis asked slowly, her voice hoarse from breathing in so much smoke. **« What are we going to do now ? »**

Tears were running down her face, into her soft black beard.

Thorin put an arm around her shoulders, and a kiss on the top of her head. As devastated as he was, he still had strength enough to comfort his beloved little sister, as he had done so many times during their childhood. She looked up at him, then she burst into sobs against Thorin's large chest.

 **« Home, Thorin... This was our home... This was everything... What do we have left, now ? »** she said miserably, clutching at the front of Thorin's tunic with both her hands.

Thorin looked at the high gates of Erebor, now closed to them – probably forever. A wave of despair washed over him as he thought of all the things they had just lost : home, shelter, safety... And the treasure, of course... The legendary treasure of Thror, the mighty King Under the Mountain... How could it be possible ? How could it happen so suddenly ? Without even a warning ? Yesterday everything was normal, everything was fine, and today... he glanced at the desolation all around him, at the brink of utter despair. Not far from him, a little girl was crying, her face smeared with soot a man was still clutching his sword uselessly and yelling curses at the dragon a pair of Dwarf women were hugging each other and over there, not far from a pile of blackened wood, Dwalin and Balin were talking softly to each other. They were both dirty and disheveled, but alive. Thank Mahal for this small mercy.

 **« What do we do, now ? »** Dis asked her brother. Her tears had stopped, now, and she seemed to have recovered at least some of her usual determination.

Thorin sighed heavily.

 **« We live, I suppose. »** he said wearily, and then suddenly a flare of boiling anger woke in him. **« We live, so that one day we can take back Erebor. We live, so that one day we can avenge our dead with Smaug's blood. »**

 _And maybe we will even be able to kill that arrogant little Elf-king, at the same time,_ he thought bitterly. _The world would undoubtedly be a better place without Thranduil and his thrice-damned battle elk._

 **« Did you see Father somewhere ? »** Dis asked worriedly, as she pulled away from Thorin to gaze at the people around them. **« And Grand-Father ? Did you see him ? »**

Thorin nodded slowly.

 **« Yes, I... »** He cleared his throat, unsure about what he would say next. **« I found him in the vaults and I helped him to get out, but we got separated when the dragon smashed the wall of the Eastern Watchtower. »**

In truth, the King Under the Mountain would have died in a vain attempt to recover the Arkenstone, if Thorin had not dragged him away by force. But he didn't think his sister needed to know this piece of information right now. There would be more important matters to discuss before the end of the day, and anyways Thror's gold sickness would probably not be an issue anymore, now that the treasure was permanently out of their reach.

Dis sensed something was wrong with her brother, though, and she frowned suspiciously at him.

 **« He is tough, and a skilled warrior, and I am sure he is still alive. »** Thorin said to reassure her. **« Let's go find him, and find Father. »**

She nodded bravely. She wiped away the last remnants of tears with her torn sleeve, and took a deep breath.

 **« Let's find Father. »** she agreed.

Among the haggard and bedraggled survivors, there was a young dwarf woman called Laurelin. She was the only child of a married couple of Dwarves who had devoted their lives to serving the royal family, in Erebor. Laurelin's parents had been humble and modest, hard-working and loyal folk, and the daughter had been raised, from her earliest childhood, to take up their trade once she would be old enough. But then the dragon had come, smashing their lives to pieces, and killing Laurelin's family in his fires. She could still hear their cries of agony, and see their faces twisting in pain every time she closed her eyes. The only member of her family who had survived was her old grand-mother, and both women clung to each other as if their lives depended on it. Laurelin was shy and reserved, and most of the time she enjoyed the peace and quiet of a solitary life. Her face was round, with soft cheeks and full lips, and big brown eyes framed with dark lashes but what made her really stand apart from the other women was the lack of beard. Her face was smooth as a baby's. She was also less heavy than most Dwarf-women, with a slender silhouette, which made her look more like an undersized Human girl than a real Dwarf.

They had been driven off from Erebor three days ago. Laurelin and her grand-mother followed the other Dwarves as they all wandered aimlessly through the wilderness. The young woman was in pain her feet, not used to walk such long distances, were covered in bleeding blisters, and every muscle of her legs was aching. She had taken her last bite of food two days ago, and by now her stomach was growling loudly, her strengths dwindling with every passing hour. Since she hadn't taken any flask with her when she had fled Erebor – the dragon hadn't exactly waited for them to finish packing before he attacked – she could drink only hen they encountered some river on their way, and the water was not always the best quality. And Laurelin also had to support her grand-mother, pulling an arm around her waist to help her keep up with the other Dwarves' pace, and whispering words of encouragement into her ears. Her old age and her worn body made everything even worse, for her. Laurelin's heart filled with pity and dread every time she looked at her grand-mother, yet she did her best to hide her fears. Worrying about things she couldn't change would not help them.

She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and kept walking before the others were too far ahead.

When night came – yet another wet and cold night, sleeping on the bare ground, with no blanket to warm their shaking bodies – she couldn't sleep in spite of her exhaustion. Every time she closed her eyes, she kept seeing her parents again. She kept hearing their last words. _Get out of here,_ they had told her, without caring for their own safety. _Get out and don't look back, little one. Run. Save your life._ And she had run, her eyes filled with tears because of the smoke, her lungs burning as if she had breathed in fire. A few moments later, the ceiling had collapsed and her parents had been engulfed in a sea of roaring flames. She had wanted to turn back, try to save them, try to do something, but they had told her to run. Laurelin felt tears well up in her eyes as she remembered those dreadful memories. The pain was unbearable, as if someone had ripped her chest open to stab her straight in the heart. She had loved her parents so much. They had been a modest family, but neither the lack of money nor the low social status had ever been a problem to Laurelin they loved and supported each other during the hard times, and laughed together when life was more generous. They had been a happy, tightly knit family. Laurelin's mother used to kiss her on the forehead, and her father's eyes were shining with pride every time he looked at his beautiful daughter.

 _And now there's nothing left of them - nothing but a pile of ash between the empty walls of Eerebor, and bitter-sweet memories that bring more pain than happiness._

She cried for a while, till her tears ran dry.

Next morning, they got up for another long day of hardship and privations. Laurelin did her best to smile at her grand-mother, and to be strong. The old woman had worked hard all her life, and lost everything at the evening of her existence. Laurelin was afraid for her, afraid to lose the last member of her family still alive.

The young woman knew she would eventually have to find work, to support them both. She was very young, and she had not yet completed her apprenticeship she still had a lot to learn about being a good servant, but she was brave and willing and eager to learn. Her parents had raised her in the respect of the royal family of Erebor, so it was very naturally that she thought about offering her services to young Prince Thorin, whom she admired greatly for having taken up the leadership after the fall of Erebor. While King Thror and his son Thrain had left the wandering Dwarves to negotiate some help from the Iron Hills, Thorin had stayed close to his people, leading them through this ordeal with courage and honor.

So when they decided to settle for the night in a small grove, she took her courage in both hands and decided to talk to the young prince. She sensed this was her true place, at the side of the last descendant of Durin's line. He had lost almost everything, as well, and Laurelin knew he would not be able to pay her full wages, but it didn't matter. She just wanted to serve him, like her parents - and their parents before them - had served Thorin's forebears it was her way to honour those who had brought her into this world, and to perpetrate the family traditions.

She waited for the hustle and bustle of the camp to calm down, then she walked over to Thorin's sleeping place as the night was slowly falling. But as she stood in front of the prince's tent, she suddenly hesitated. Who was she, to bother the Prince Thorin of Erebor ? A mere serving girl had no business asking favors from people so far above her in the social structure. And what if she made a fool of herself in front of Thorin ? That would be such an humiliation !

 _Maybe I should leave, and forget about it, and consider a more realistic option to earn money._

Then she took a deep breath.

 _Do it, or you'll regret it later. Don't be a coward._

As there was no door, she couldn't knock. So she just announced herself by clearing her throat loudly, then she opened the piece of crudely cut leather that hung in front of the entrance.

 **« Prince Thorin ? »** she asked tentatively.

It was very dark inside, and at first she saw no one. Then, when her eyes had adjusted, she spotted two silhouettes inside. She recognized Thorin, and his sister. It made her nervous. She had expected to speak with him alone, but having to face two royal siblings would be even worse. Yet she had gone too far, now, to back down.

 **« Enter. »** the Princess said gently. She was a typical Dwarf-woman short and stout, and as strong as a man. Along the line of her jaw she wore a soft black beard, the same black as her thick wavy hair. Her dress was worn and dirty, and all the jewels she used to wear in Erebor were gone, probably sold off to buy some food in one of the villages they had crossed.

Laurelin obeyed, and bowed respectfully in front of them, trying to look as gracious as possible in spite of her nervousness. Thorin was a very impressive man tall and strong, with broad shoulders and a deep voice. He said nothing when he saw her enter the tent, but he contemplated her from head to toe with his piercing blue eyes. She felt her cheeks grow very hot, but she forced herself to continue :

 **« Prince Thorin, would you be as kind as to give me a few moments of your time ? »** she asked, biting her lower lips nervously.

Dis shot her brother a reproving look, then she answered in his place, once more.

 **« Please, young lady, speak and we will listen. »**

 **« Prince Thorin, Princess Dis... »** she started, looking frail and shy and sweet. Her voice was shaking a bit, but it was also filled with a certain tenderness. **« My name is Laurelin. Back in Erebor, my family and me we used to serve the Line of Durin, and now I would love to keep serving you as best as I can. I am aware of my young age and my lack of experience, but I pledge my life to you and I will do whatever is in my power to bring you a bit of comfort, day after day. I will do whatever you ask of me. And I am not asking for privileges or gold, of course, »** she added quickly. **« I just want to do what my parents taught me to do. »**

When she was finished, she lowered her head, unable to look Thorin in the eyes. She had to press her hands against her chest to keep them from trembling.

Thorin, probably surprised by this unexpected demand, crossed his arms over his broad chest. He was watching her intently, as if trying to size her up or to read her thoughts. It made her feel even more nervous. She was sure here legs would not be able to support her any longer. She took a deep breath, and talked about how her parents loved to work for the royal family, before Smaug's attack, and how it would make her happy if she were given a chance to prove herself. Then she talked, in a soft and sad voice, about her old grand-mother who was now too old to find work, and who relied solely on her grand-daughter to survive.

Once more, Thorin remained silent. Laurelin felt a tight knot in her stomach. _And what if he refuses ? What will I do, if he refuses ? Where will I find work, if he doesn't want me ?_

 **« Will... will you accept my offer, Prince Thorin ? »** she insisted shyly, when the silence lingered. She had never felt so ill at ease before. She wanted to run away and hide herself in a dark corner, but she suddenly realized she couldn't move. She was paralyzed, like a frightened mouse in front of the snake that's going to eat her.

Thorin cleared his throat.

 **« Young lady, I appreciate your devotion to my family, I really do, but unfortunately I will have to refuse your offer. »** he said slowly, looking sincerely sorry.

Laurelin's heart missed a beat as she realized Thorin just said the words she had feared to hear. He had refused her. She felt tears prickle her eyes, but she refused to let them run free. She didn't want to humiliate herself even further. But right then, when she was about to leave in shame, the young Prince's gaze softened up.

 **« We have just suffered a terrible blow, »** he said in a deep, gentle voice. **« We are wandering the wilderness, ans we don't know what tomorrow will be made of. We... »** He looked around, at Lady Dis. **« My dear sister and me, we have lost everything, or close to. We are still alive, for now, but if we don't find a way to get back on our feet we may not last very long. I... don't even know how I am going to survive, when the snows of winter will start falling. If your work for me you will be under my responsibility, and your grand-mother as well since she depends on you – and I can't afford it. Not right now. »**

 **« But I won't ask anything of you ! »** she exclaimed, without knowing where she got the courage to stand up to him like that. **« I just want to help you, Prince Thorin. Help you, and offer you my humble services during these hard times. »**

 **« The answer is still no, young lady.** » Thorin replied. He looked genuinely sorry, but he was unyielding. **« Maybe some day, if our luck changes, I will be glad to hire your services. But right now I can't. »**

Laurelin felt her heart sink in front of such a staunch refusal. She kpet her eyes on the ground, trying to hold back her tears.

 **« Laurelin ? »** It was Lady Dis who had spoken, with a smile that made her look very pretty. **«Would you mind waiting outside, while I speak with my brother ? »**

 **« Of course, my lady. »** Laurelin replied, showing her the same respect as she did for Thorin. She bowed, and left the tent on her weak, trembling legs. The young daughter of Thrain was well known for having a strong and stubborn temper. _Maybe she will make Thorin change his mind ? Maybe there's still hope ?_

After a moment that seemed to last forever, to Laurelin, Lady Dis came out of the tent.

 **« My brother did not lie to you. We don't have much, and therefore we won't be able to give you much, but we accept your offer with gratitude. Your presence and your services will be very welcome. »** Thorin came out of the tent as well, and was about to say something, but Lady Dis just frowned at him and gave him a threatening look. **« My brother and me are deprived of almost everything one needs to survive, but your situation is even worse than ours, and it is our duty to hold out our hand to those who have most need of our help and protection. »**

Her smiled was very welcoming, as well as the warmth in her voice.

Laurelin felt her heart melt with gratitude, and this time the tears in her eyes were tears of happiness.

 **« Thank you, my Lady. »** she said from the bottom of her heart. She bowed deeply in front of her, before thanking her again and again. **« I promise you, my Lady, that neither you nor your brother will regret this decision... I will always do my best to be both useful and pleasant, and I swear in Mahal's name that I will never disappoint you ! »**

Then she left the tent to tell her grand-mother the good news. She had never felt so relieved.

Her life was worth living again.

The red-hot iron hissed as Thorin plunged it into the bucket of cold water, releasing a cloud of silvery-white steam. When it came out of the water again, dripping wet, the horse-shoe had turned dark again. Thorin inspected it closely, and found no flaws. He threw it on the ground, next to the three others. He was done now, at last. The farrier could come and gather them whenever he wanted. Thorin wiped his sweaty brow with his hand, and slipped back into the stained shirt that hung from a nail in the wall. One of the sleeves was torn, but that was the least of his worries. He drank cold water from his goatskin, then he went to his next task. Nails. He hated doing nails. Tedious, boring work. And not very well paid, on top of everything else. But if he refused to do them, no one else would give him work anymore. Thorin hated working for the humans, and he hated that smelly, dark forge he was a prince, and it was humiliating for him to be reduced to such a base work - but he had no choice. If he wanted to earn some money to pay for food and shelter, he had not other choice but to accept grovelling at the Men's feet as if he were no more than some sort of lowborn scullion. He knew they were all laughing behind his back, mocking the homeless prince, the beggar prince who had been unable to defend his own kingdom against the enemy. Whenever this happened Thorin forced himself to act as if he didn't hear them. _Let them talk. Let them laugh. We are the proud Dwarves of Erebor, and one day we will reclaim our heritage, and then_ we _will be laughing while they crawl in font of us._

Every time Thorin's hammer hit the anvil, sending tiny sparks flying in every direction, he imagined it was Smaug's head he was smashing. Or maybe Thranduil's. For the despair he had felt during the first days had been replaced by anger, and by hatred. Those feelings burned in him day and night, making him feel as if his very blood was made of white-hot steel. His desire for revenge was the one thing that kept him going, day after day, in spite of the tragedy that had befallen him and his people.

 _One day, Durin's folk will have their vengeance, even if it means the death of me,_ he vowed silently.

Shortly after the bells rang the mid-day, Laurelin came at the forge with a basket for Thorin, as she did almost every day. Within the Prince of Erebor found a small loaf of bread, a morsel of hard cheese and a tiny slice of cheap salted pork. He thanked her, and ate with the strong appetite of a man who's been working hard all morning. Then, when there was nothing left but a few crumbs, he grabbed his hammer again and resumed his work. Laurelin didn't linger, and returned home with the empty basket to finish her work there. Even if Thorin never said it aloud – he was usually sullen and silent, at the forge – he was very grateful for all the small attentions the young maid had for him.

When night came, Thorin was exhausted, and famished. He stretched his sore muscles, then he walked home they were currently living in a small countryside village, with shaggy little houses and farmyards. The streets were narrow and twisted, made of beaten earth as it had rained a lot during the last days, the ground had turned into an ankle-deep swamp, full of murky puddles. Thorin was glad to wear high boots, so at least his feet remained dry. They were worn after several weeks of wandering, but still good enough to protect him, so far.

When he reached the old shack that was his home, he was surprised to see the light of a candle inside, through the window. His sister Dis had left his side to live with her long-time friend Boraìn, a fierce but kind-hearted Dwarf that counted among Thorin's most loyal warriors Father and Grand-Father were in the Iron Hills, trying to negotiate with the Dwarves who dwelt there and Laurelin, who had decided to stay at Thorin's service when Dis left, was supposed to be in the forest with some other Dwarf women, gathering the death-of-moon flowers they would sell later for a good price. Since they only flowered under the light of the moon – most preferably during the days of full moon – they had to be picked up at night. Maybe the ladies had filled their baskets quicker than expected, and Laurelin was home already ?

Curious, he opened the door, and heaved a sigh of relief as he realized it was Laurelin indeed. She smiled curteously at him as she saw him, as usual. Thorin smiled back. Going into the forest at night was a dangerous business, and Thorin had disliked the idea of her being out there with only a couple of other women to protect her. Laurelin was young, barely old enough to be considered a grown woman Thorin felt protective towards her, because she had no other family than this old grand-mother of hers, and she was not as tough and hardened as Dis, or some of the other Dwarf-women. She was a shy and sweet little doe, lost in a world of hungry wolves. She could definitely do with somebody watching over her, and Thorin had taken up that role since there was no one else to do it.

 **« Was the harvest of death-of-moon flowers good tonight ? »** he asked, as he removed his muddy boots in the entrance.

 **« Excellent. »** Laurelin replied happily. **« We found a spot, near the broken well, where the ground was covered with them. It took us barely a few minutes to fill our baskets. We will sell them on the market tomorrow. If we are lucky, we will be able to sell them all and satisfy many clients. »**

 **« I'm glad to know you will spend the night at home, safely tucked under your blankets, and not outside in the forest. The rumours say there's bears in that forest. And other beasts, too. Foul beasts. »**

 **« I am safe, Prince Thorin, »** she said. **« And dinner is ready. »** She paused, then she added : **« Bears, Prince Thorin ? Are there really bears in the forest ? »** She was suddenly very pale. **« The other women and me, we had planned to go back in the forest tomorrow to pick up more flowers... We... What will we do, if we encounter any bears ? Do you think they will attack us ? »**

Thorin realized he had frightened her, now. He cursed himself.

 **« I'll send Dwalin with you, if you want. He's more terrifying than any bear, and it should be enough to keep the beasts out of your way. »**

He chuckled softly as he imagined what would happen to any bear that would be foolish enough to attack the fierce, bald warrior. Laurelin gratefully thanked him for his offer. She immediately accepted the presence of the warrior, and his protection.

 **« Dinner is ready. »** Laurelin repeated softly. **« You should eat, before it's cold. You need it. »**

 **« Oh yes, dinner. I'm starving. »**

She led the way to the kitchen and Thorin followed, barefoot on the rough planking that covered the floor.

When Laurelin had offered her services to Thorin, after the fall of Erebor, he had first refused her. He had lost everything. His life had become a day-after-day struggle, and how could he possibly afford a servant if he didn't even have enough money to take care of his own self ? But Dis had made him change his mind she had welcomed Laurelin under their roof – as miserable as this roof was – and now Thorin realized his youngest sister had been right about everything, as usual. Having Laurelin at his side was a blessing. She was friendly, loyal and hard-working, in spite of her young age. Sometimes she was a bit awkward or clumsy, but this was probably due to her lack of experience. Thorin refused to blame her for it, or to shame her for her mistakes as some other Dwarf-lords did with their servants. She would learn with time, and in the meanwhile she did her best with what little they had.

 **« What do we have for dinner, tonight ? »** he asked, as he heard his stomach growl loudly.

 **« Rabbit stew with winter carrots and turnips. »** Laurelin answered. She plunged the wooden laddle into the heavy cooking-pot. **« And we have bread, too. As you like it. Black barely bread, with hard-baked crust. »**

Thorin smiled. He had mentioned only once, long ago, that he liked this sort of bread, but she had remembered it. She always remembered everything. It was something he liked about her.

She brought him his bowl, filled to the brim with meat and cooked vegetables.

 **« Thank you. »** he said earnestly.

 **« I... I wish you had something better for you, but the gold runs low in our pockets, these last days, and I couldn't... I tried to find something more refined, but the price was exorbitant. »** she said, lowering her head as if she were ashamed.

 **« No, »** he interrupted her gently. **« This is better than what most of my folk will eat tonight. At least it's hot, and I will enjoy every mouthful of it. »**

She blushed a little, then she walked back to stir what was left in the cooking-pot. She was a good cook, and able to prepare rich, tasty meals even with the basic, cheap food they had to put up with. Thorin watched her standing near the cooking fire for a few moments, then he started eating heartily. The meat was hot indeed, and he cursed as he burned his tongue. This is for being so impatient, he chided himself. He took a gulp of cold beer, and since there was no other distraction, je watched Laurelin again while he waited for his meal to cool down. She had told him, on the first day, that she had already been in the service of the royal family of Erebor, before Smaug's attack – yet Thorin had never seen her before. She was pretty enough, with a round face, big brown eyes framed by dark lashes, and long brown hair that fell down her back in lovely curls, when it was not braided. Her cheeks were as smooth as a little girl's. No beard, just a very light peach fuzz, almost invisible, which was rather unusual and made her stand out among the other women. Thorin would have remembered her, if he had met her before, but all in all it was small wonder they had never seen each other before Erebor was an unending maze of cathedral-sized halls and chambers, and two people could roams its dark galleries for weeks and weeks without ever coming face-to-face.

 **« Do you need anything else, Prince Thorin ? »** she asked when she was done in the kitchen.

 **« A prince without a kingdom is not a prince anymore, »** Thorin reminded her bitterly. He had lost any claim to this title the day Smaug had taken everything from him. He was barely more than a beggar, now.

 **« To me you will always be a Prince, »** she said with a shy smile, on a very respectful tone. **« Your kingdom may be lost to Smaug, but your people are still alive. They are Durin's folk. They are proud and fierce and loyal to the marrow of their bones. As long as they will live, they will always see you as a Prince in their hearts. Nothing can change that. You may not believe in yourself anymore, but they do. »** She paused for a short moment, then she continued in a small voice : **« I... believe in you. »**

Her eyes were on her feet, her throat tight.

Flattered by her words and her faith in him, he couldn't help but smile gratefully. He suddenly felt as if he had eaten something very warm that now spread through his chest, warming him from the inside.

The rabbit stew was good – simple, but good – and he silently thanked Mahal for having someone at his side, someone who knew how to make his life bearable during this exile, even if she was only a mere servant.

Laurelin didn't linger in the kitchen, and went to sit in front of the fireplace, on a thick sheepskin that she spread on the ground. In her hands there was a needle, and next to her a pile of worn clothes belonging to Thorin darning and mending clothes was not one of her best skills, but she liked doing it nonetheless. And she was still learning. With time, she would be just as good as any other woman. It was pleasant work, that required patience and meticulousness, and it was very relaxing after a long day of running about the house to do the chores. Every now and then, she took a bite of bred from the small loaf she had baked for herself, using the leftovers of flour from Thorin's bread. It was a poor meal for her hungry stomach, but it was all she could afford, so she made do with it. She forgot about everything else as she worked with the needle, and got lost in this quiet moment of peace, singing softly to herself. Thorin smiled as he heard her sweet voice, and once more he enjoyed having someone at his side. The house would have been cold and empty, without Laurelin's quiet and comforting presence.

 **« Laurelin ? »** he asked gently, after a while. He didn't like interrupting her, but he had felt a twinge of guilt when he had compared his own plate with her poor little loaf of bread. **« There's plenty of rabbit stew left in the pot. Enough for you as well. »**

 **« I am fine. »** she said softly **. « My belly is full already, and I have no need for meat. »** She had gotten used to small portions and plain food. Whenever they could afford something better, it was for her grand-mother, who needed it so much more than herself.

 **« You're working hard all day long. You could do with something more consistent than just some bread. »**

 **« I am fine. »** she repeated. **« I prepared this meal for you, Prince Thorin, not for myself. I want you to enjoy it. That's all I need. »**

Thorin almost insisted, but he realized it would have been useless. The young maid could be stubborn, in her own way.

When he was done with the meal, he sighed deeply. He was exhausted, and he wanted nothing but a few hours of sleep, but he knew he couldn't go to bed covered in soot and stinking of cold sweat. He was pleased to see that Laurelin had already prepared his bath of course, it had nothing to do with the grandiose baths of Erebor, with pools of black marble and hot water pouring out of the walls, directly from the underground springs. It was just a mere tub made of planks in which he could sit down, and to wash himself he had nothing but a block of cheap soap, but at least the water was at the perfect temperature. Laurelin had been quick to learn what he liked, and obviously she took great pride in keeping him as satisfied as possible all the time. It was wonderful to get rid of his dirty clothes, and even more wonderful to soak into the hot water. He scrubbed himself hard, and when he came out of the water again he was clean as a baby. He felt a different man. He felt alive again, and relaxed, aft such a hard day of work.

After drying himself, he slipped into the night clothes Laurelin had laid out for him. A long ample cotton shirt, on which the young serving girl had stitched the raven of Erebor. Thorin appreciated small attentions like that.

Once he was dressed, he went back to the main room of the house. Laurelin was not there anymore, so Thorin took her place in front of the hearth – not because he enjoyed the warmth of the fire, but because the crackling flames reminded him what had happened to his people when Smaug's fire had filled the air. All the memories of this dreadful day came back, stirring his anger and his hatred for those who had brought this fate upon Durin's folk. Every night, he took a few moments to hone his desire for vengeance, like a knight hones his sword.

Never forgive, never forget – this was his motto.

He startled when he heard soft footsteps behind him.

 **« Your sister came by this afternoon. »** Laurelin said hesitantly, not sure whether she was bothering him or not. **« She said she needs to talk to you as soon as possible. She... I should have told you earlier, but I forgot. I'm sorry, Prince Thorin. »**

She lowered her head and started fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve.

 **« There's nothing to be sorry about. »** Thorin reassured her in a gentle voice, his anger suddenly forgotten. **« My stubborn sister can wait a day or two, now that she has Boraìn to keep her busy. »**

Thorin saw that Laurelin was dressed to go outside. She was wearing a heavy woolen cloak over her old dress, and she had slipped her feet into her old leather shoes.

 **« Good night, Prince Thorin. »** she said with an awkward bow, then she pulled the hood over her head.

 **« Wait ! »** Thorin said, getting on his feet. **« It's cold outside. Why don't you come here with your grand-mother and enjoy the warmth of my hearth, for the night ? »** He knew both women lived in a small shack that threatened to fall into ruins. There was no fireplace there. It was cold, and damp, and full of icy cold drafts. It was no place for a young woman and her elderly grand-mother to sleep in.

 **« I can't, Prince Thorin. »** Laurelin exclaimed, shocked. **« This would be so unbecoming, for us to invade your privacy like that. »**

Thorin stretched out his hand towards the fire.

 **« There's room enough for the both of you here, where it is warm and dry. »** he said gently. **« If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for your grand-mother's sake. She is a respectable woman, is she not ? Don't you think she deserves such a small kindness ? »**

She hesitated, still looking very ill at ease.

 **« This is... very generous of you, Prince Thorin. »** she said at last, with an uncertain smile. She didn't look up to meet Thorin's eyes. **« We will be glad to accept your offer, then. »**

Thorin watched her walk out of the door to fetch her grand-mother, then he decided it was high time for him to go to bed, too. He would have to get up early, next morning. He didn't look forward to another day at the smithy, yet he was glad he had found this work some of the Dwarves were now reduced to begging in the towns of men, while others survived in the woods like wild animals, relying only on the game they hunted to survive.

He slipped under the clean blankets, and fell asleep almost instantly.

A few hours later, though, he woke up when someone knocked frantically at his door. He jumped out of his bed, and almost tripped over Laurelin – or maybe her grand-mother – on his way to the door. When he opened, he saw Dis standing outside, disheveled and distressed.

 **« Dwalin ! »** she said, breathless. Obviously, she had run from her home to Thorin's. Her cheeks were red, and tiny clouds of steam escaped her mouth with each breath. **« They attacked Dwalin, and two other Dwarves. A dozen men with sticks and maces. Two streets away from here. »**

 **« Dwalin ? »** Thorin asked, feeling suddenly very cold inside.

 **« Alive. »** Dis said. **« And the other two as well, although one of them has a broken arm. But more and more men are rising from their beds, now, and when they see the unconscious men, and Dwalin swearing like an angry bull all over the streets... They will blame it all on us, as usual. Thorin, we have to get out of here before they decide to drive us out of town with their spears. Quick ! »**

 **« We'll be ready in a few moments ! »**

He returned inside, and saw that both Laurelin and the old woman were up, now. They had heard everything. They were already gathering their stuff, in all haste.

 **« Get whatever you need in your house, and come back here. »** Thorin told them. **« Quick ! You heard my sister. We have to be out of her as soon as possible ! »**

Laurelin nodded. Her grand-mother left the house to gather what little possessions the two women owned, while Laurelin ran to the kitchens to pack everything she might need to accomplish her work during this new exile.

An hour later, all the Dwarves had left the village, and were now roaming the wilderness once more. The light of the full moon was guiding their steps some of them had ponies, others had rams or donkeys or even big dogs to pull their carts. The road was not good, full of potholes and puddles, and the were slow, but when the sun rose in the sky the small village was far behind them.

What followed was days and days of wandering, through valleys and hillsides, through forests and rocky flat lands. They found no other sign of civilization – no villages, no roads, nothing. Not even a shelter during the rainy, cold nights. They were wet and miserable, and exhausted beyond any measure, but somehow Laurelin was a real comfort to Thorin. She may be just a maid, but she did her duties with a smile on her lips, in spite of the hardship the mere fact that she had decided to stay at Thorin's side in spite of their present condition – in spite of the fact that he could no longer pay her for her services – meant she felt true loyalty towards him. He was both flattered and annoyed by this devotion, because he didn't feel like he deserved it.

After a few days, they ran out of food, and had to hunt to fill their stomachs. Thorin was not such a good hunter, but others were good enough with bows, and brought back boars and deers and wild hares for everybody.

A dozen days after they had left the village, Laurelin woke up ill one morning. Small wonder, Thorin thought. She was not the only one. Almost everywhere, Dwarves were coughing and breathing heavily, weakening with every passing day, slowing down their procession. Thorin was worried for his people, worried that some might not make it to the next village. The healers were doing their best, but soon they ran out of herbs and could do no more than encourage the sick Dwarves to stay warm – but how is one supposed to 'stay warm' when everything was wet ?

When they stopped for the night, Thorin went to see Laurelin. She was sitting on a wolf pelt, coughing and shivering, with her grand-mother at her side. She was pale as a ghost.

 **« You will be up and about soon. »** Thorin said gently, as he knelt at her side. He sincerely hoped his words were not a lie.

 **« I am fine. »** she replied, even if she looked anything but fine.

 **« You're not a good liar. »** Thorin joked, and she smiled weakly at him. A slight blush colored her cheeks.

 **« The healer Oin said she must rest, to recover her strengths. »** said the grand-mother, a worried look on her face. Her hair was graying, and the lines on her face were deep, but her eyes were still sharp and vivid.

 **« There's nothing I can do about that. »** Thorin replied earnestly. **« We have to move on, if we don't want to die here, lost in such a forlorn corner of wilderness. »**

 **« I know. »** the old woman replied sadly.

Thorin's gaze went back to Laurelin, then to Balin, who was coming in his direction. Hardship had turned his hair white, and his eyes sad. He looked pretty ragged, like everybody else.

 **« They need you over there. »** he said. **« The hunters want to talk to you. Bad news, I guess. Their faces were grim, and their words harsh. »**

 **« I'm coming. »** Thorin replied, and suddenly there was a tight knot in his stomach. Filled with dread, he got up to stand at Balin's side. **« Rest, now. »** he told Laurelin. **« We won't stay here for more than a few hours, so try to sleep while you can. You need it. »** Then he looked at her grand-mother. **« I will send someone to bring her a dry blanket, and some food. »** he promised.

The old woman nodded.

Thorin walked away with Balin, wondering what his people had possibly done to deserve such a fate.

First a dragon, and now this – by Mahal, why were the gods so cruel ?

What would befall them next ?


	2. ASSAULT

Night had fallen when Laurelin came back from the market. The moon was almost full, and its wan light guided the maid's steps as she walked through the narrow, cobbled streets of this new town. She was heading home – well, if the old wooden shack where they currently lived could be truly be called a 'home' – and she was enjoying the warmth of this pleasant night. The air full with the scent of flowers and cherry blossoms, while the crickets were singing loudly in the trees and bushes around her. They had been living here for several weeks now, enjoying a short rest from their endless wandering. A few weeks of quiet and stability, among men who were rather tolerant with Dwarves. This was as close to safety as they would ever get, Laurelin guessed.

The young servant had stayed out late, because she knew the last hours were the best moment to find good opportunities on the market, when the sellers are eager to get rid of what they hadn't sold during the day. She had found a few treasures, at a good price : dried black chanterelles to liven up the meat, a bottle of preserved pears, a small wheel of cheese, a bag of rye flour, and a few slices of dried beef, a meat they could not afford very often. As well as a few spices, too. She was quite proud of herself, and eager to prepare Thorin a good meal as soon as she would be back home. In her impatience, she decided to take the shortest road, the one that led past the sandstone quarry Thorin had forbidden her to take it, of course, and she didn't like the idea of disobeying him, but it would bring her back home – back to safety - more quickly than the other road. Besides, it was not that late, and there were still people out in the streets. No one would dare attack her with so many witnesses.

She felt a shiver of fear, though, when she saw a shadow move right next to her, then sighed in relief as she realized it was just a skinny, flea-covered feral dog.

She was barely two streets away from Thorin's home when two strong hands pushed her into a dark, narrow side-street. She fell on all fours into the mud, her heart hammering against her chest. Dwarves, she realized. Two Dwarves. One of them was very tall, with a shaggy pepper-and-salt beard and thick eyebrows, and his forearms covered in tattoos the second one was smaller, with dark red hair and a pointed face, and mean dark eyes. He was missing a finger on his left hand, too. They ripped Laurelin's basket out of her hands, and spilled its content on the ground. The bottle of preserved pears shattered into hundreds of tiny shards of glass.

 **« No ! »** Laurelin shrieked, horrified. She didn't have enough money left to buy everything anew, and besides the stalls were now empty, the market closed. How would she explain to Thorin that there was nothing for dinner, tonight ? How could she come back home with empty hands ? And what would she say when he would realize she had disobeyed him by taking the forbidden road ?

One of the Dwarves – the nasty redhead – knelt in front of her, a mean smile on his lips. He looked at her the way a cat might look at a mouse, before devouring her. He sniggered when he saw the young maid so vulnerable on the ground, then he grabbed her chin with his four-fingered hand and forced her to look into his eyes.

 **« You're a pretty little dove, aren't you ? »** His smile as he scrutinized her down from head to toe made Laurelin shiver. **« Maybe we can come to an agreement, you and me... »** He smiled widened, revealing a row of crooked white teeth. **« If you accept to be nice with us, sweetie, we will let you pick up your things – or at least, what's left of them. »**

He stepped on the pears, reducing them to a pulp, then he winked at his friend. The other one laughed loudly.

Laurelin was suddenly so terrified she couldn't talk, or move, or even think properly.

The tall Dwarf with tattooed arms grabbed her by the front of her dress and put her back on her feet, before closing his arms around her slender shape it felt like being hugged by a stinking bears. Laurelin tried to wriggle free of him, but he was strong as a bull. He tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away from him in disgust. Her reaction made him laugh even harder.

 **« Me first ! »** the red-haired Dwarf bellowed, and he ripped her out the other one's arms again. He pushed her against the wall, so brutally he knocked the breath out of her lungs. The back of her head banged hard against the stone bricks. **« You're a servant, sweetie, aren't you ? »** he whispered into her ear, as he twisted her wrist to keep her from fighting back. « **You're supposed to please your masters, aren't you ? Do everything they order you ? »**

They both laughed once more, and tears filled Laurelin's eyes. She knew she was in a weak position. She had no chance against them. Panic rose in her. She opened her mouth to scream, but the red-haired Dwarf pulled a long skinning knife from his belt and put it against her throat.

 **« If you scream, you're dead.** » he said sharply, and to prove he was not joking he pushed the point of the blade into her skin. A red droplet of blood appeared. He smiled, then he let the knife slide down to her cleavage, leaving an angry red line in its wake. **« One word, Sweetie. One sound, and you will never see the light of the sun again. »**

Laurelin was petrified with pain and fear. She was crying abundantly, now.

The tall one slipped between Laurelin and the wall, and both Dwarfes pressed their bodies against Laurelin's small, trembling shape. He grabbed her hair from behind, and with a short knife he started cutting away the lacing of her bodice. Laurelin felt the man's hot and disgusting breath on her neck.

As soon as the bodice was open, the redhead grabbed it and threw it on the ground. He was standing in front of her his hands and his fingers were running all over Laurelin's body, over her budding chest and her waist and her belly. His ugly lips kissed first her throat, then her breasts he didn't seem to care about the blood that was slowly oozing out of the wound. He didn't even seem to notice it anymore. He was a beast, no more than a beast. Then his hands brutally tore Laurelin's skirt into ribbons, to bare her lower body. He sniggered as he watched her, then his hands groped her hips, and buttocks, her thighs. They were eager and brutal, leaving red marks on her white skin.

Laurelin had no strengths left in her all she could do was say no, please, no, leave me alone. She pleaded and she begged, but every time she made a sound the red-haired weasel slapped her, or twisted one of her wrists, while the big one pressed himself against her from behind. If she had been given a choice, Laurelin would rather have died in Smaug's fire than be humiliated and belittled like that. Such a shame was a hundred times worse than death !

When she finally pushed away the redhead's maimed hand, in a surge of desperate energy, he hit her so hard she tumbled on the ground again. She couldn't stop crying. They would rape her, she knew it. More than once, probably. She wanted to scream, but who would hear her ? Who would come ? Certainly not those Humans who considered Dwarves like an inferior race. No one would face the knives of two angry male Dwarves just to help a mere serving girl.

Laurelin heard them talk as they were towering over her, but she couldn't understand their words anymore. Vaguely, she saw them remove their clothing, before tearing away what little was left of her poor old dress. She curled up into a tight ball, and closed her eyes as she resigned herself to what she knew was inevitable. They had already grabbed her thighs, and were trying to get rid of her underwear, when suddenly she perceived an unexpected sound – the hooves of galloping horses. And they seemed to be coming her way. Maybe... Could it be... She dared not to hope, yet she couldn't hep it. Maybe someone is coming to help me, after all !

The horses suddenly stopped, so close Laurelin could see their hooves through her tears. She heard shouts. The tall Dwarf who had assaulted her cursed as he jumped back on his feet to meet the newcomers, and the voice that answered him sounded vaguely familiar to Laurelin's ears but she was too shocked, too distressed to recognize it right now. She startled as she heard a sword being drawn from its scabbard, and fear seized her again, and she hid her face in her hands. She didn't want to see, or to hear, or even to feel... She just wanted to disappear into the ground, and die. Yet when several moments passed and no one touched her again, she found the courage to look up again everything was blurry from the tears in her big brown eyes, but she made out several silhouettes standing all around her, some of them still on their horses. Among them, she recognized... Thorin.

 _Is it truly him, or do my eyes deceive me ?_

She rubbed the tears away, and saw that she had not been mistaken. It was Thorin indeed, and felt relief wash over her. Maybe he would be good enough to make the two ugly Dwarves stop ? Laurelin watched him intently as he handed the reins of his pony to one of the other Dwarves who had come with him, while he held his sword Deathless against the chest of the tall Dwarf with the shaggy dark beard. Thorin looked utterly furious. Obviously, he was ready to use his sword, if need be. Behind him, three other Dwarf warriors, still on their ponies. Laurelin may have recognized them, if she had not been so distressed – but the fierce expression on their faces made it clear they were ready to jump into battle if one of the two miscreants would even so much as threaten Thorin.

Both assailants were now standing with their backs against the wall. The redhead's forehead was swollen and bleeding abundantly, and the tall one sported a big cut on his tattooed forearm Thorin had obviously given him a taste of Deathless.

Thorin gestured at one of his warriors.

 **« Tie them up, and lock them in Horhaìn's cellar. »** he ordered sternly.

 **« It will be done, Prince Thorin, »** the man replied dutifully. He dismounted, and pulled a rope out of his saddlebags.

 **« I will deal with them tomorrow, once I have decided what to do with such a pair of filthy beasts. »**

The other man nodded briefly.

Thorin sheathed his sword again, then he knelt at Laurelin's side. He wrapped her in his cloak, to cover her nudity and grant her some dignity. He studied her briefly to check on her wounds he saw her bruises and her scratches, and the red line that went from her throat to her breasts. One of her lips was split open, too. Probably when the red-haired Dwarf had slapped her.

Laurelin turned her back on him, wincing and whimpering at the pain. She didn't want him to see her like that, so ashamed and humiliated. Her shoulders were shaken by violent sobs as she wrapped Thorin's cloak tightly around her.

After a few moments, she managed to get on her feet. With the rags of her dress, she cleaned the blood on her chest.

 **« Your wounds need to be tended to. »** Thorin said, looking sincerely concerned and worried. **« I'm going to take you home. »**

She was shaking on her unsteady legs, but when Thorin tried to steady her she refused his aid. The touch of his fingers on her skin would have been unbearable, so shortly after the attack. Even his mere presence at her side was unbearable. She was so ashamed of herself had Thorin not forbidden her to take this road ? Had he not warned her ? But she hadn't listened, and now she had paid the price for her foolishness. She was dirty, bloody, and the food she had so lovingly bought for Thorin was scattered on the ground. Of course, the Prince had not rebuked her, openly so far, but his presence was a constant reminder of how stupid she had been. _And he's seen me lying on the ground, sobbing and half naked in the hands of those two monsters. He heard me beg._ This idea was sickening, and she suddenly felt like throwing up. _I will choke on my shame, and die of it. Yes, die of it. It will be easier than to keep living this life._

Yet on the other side, another part of herself felt reassured by the presence of the man who had just saved her Thorin was not only a Prince, but also a fierce and mighty warrior, and she knew no one would try to harm her while she was standing next to him. So in the end she allowed him to help her, and to put his hand on her arm to keep her on her feet, and she suddenly felt very strange as he touched her... for the very first time.

She tried to pick up the goods, but they were scattered in the dirt, now. The bag of flour had exploded, spilling its content on the cobbles, and the slabs of meat were now lying in a murky puddle, as well as the cheese and the dried mushrooms. There was nothing Laurelin could save. Nothing. New tears welled up in her eyes she tried to hide them by looking away from Thorin, into the opposite direction, but she soon realized it would not be enough - Thorin was not fooled by her pitiful attempts to keep some dignity. She pulled his cloak even tighter around her body, as if it were an armor that could protect her from all the evil things.

 **« Thank you for the cloak. »** she muttered in a hoarse, feeble voice.

 **« You're welcome. »** he answered kindly, which made her tear up again.

When they reached Laurelin's home, her grand-mother's eyes opened wide in shock when she saw the blood on the young maid. Thorin explained quickly what had happened, then the old woman took her grand-daughter in charge. She led her to the bed, and Laurelin docilely slipped under her blankets. She had no strengths left to defy anyone. Shortly thereafter, Thorin was back with the healer Oin, who opened his little chest full of medicines and unguents.

When the healer was done, Laurelin felt a bit better. Her wounds were now clean, and Oin had given her something to dull the pain. Her grand-mother was here, and soon the Lady Dis joined them as well.

 **« Thorin thought that maybe the company of another woman would cheer you up. »** she said softly, and there was genuine concern in her eyes. She took Laurelin's hand in her own, but the young maid was so weak she could do no more than squeeze Dis' hand in response. Everything was blurry around her, so confused it was as if the other people around her were far away, in another world. She still felt those rough hands groping her, hitting her, hurting her... Fear turned her stomach into a tight knot of pain. Would she ever be able to forget this ?

When the Lady Dis left, Laurelin was left alone with her grand-mother. The old woman was horified, but full of sympathy for her sweet beloved grand-daughter. She prepared a kettle of hot herb tea, but Laurelin refused. She was sure she would not be able to bring anythong down her throat.

 **« Drink. »** the old woman insisted.

Laurelin sighed, and drank – because obeying was easier than battling aginst her grand-mother. She recognized the very distinct taste of Carmely Leaf, mixed with verbena and camomile. For a fleeting moment, as she breathed in the scent, she felt like she was back in Erebor, safe, surrounded by her loving family, who had always watched over her.

Then it was all gone, and she had to face the bitter reality again.

 **« I wish I was gone. »** she said weakly. **« With Mother and Father. I wish I had died with them, when Smaug unleashed his fire on Erebor. »** She felt herself drown in a bottomless sea of despair as the pain of losing her parents woke up again, as sharp as on the very first day. She missed them so much.

 **« Don't say things like that. »** her grand-mother rebuked her in a gentle voice. **« You've just been through something terrible, but you are young and resourceful. You will come through, sweetheart. »**

 **« But why should I ? »** Laurelin asked. Then, before her grand-mother could say anything, she continued. **« What's the point of going on ? What's the point of living, if life bring only pain and suffering ? I am just... I just feel so... »** She paused, and sighed again. **« Nothing. »** she said finally, because it was impossible for her to explain it with words when she couldn't even really understand what she was feeling herself.

 **« After what's happened to you tonight, it is natural for you to be distressed, and shaken. But don't worry. You will feel better soon. »** She smiled. **« Drink, now. »**

Laurelin nodded and forced a smile on her lips, but deep down she knew her grand-mother was wrong... _I will never feel better again, never..._ Everything was just so confused in her head... So messy... After a few gulps of tea, though, the Carmely Leaf started to be effective. It was a powerful sleeping draught. Laurelin felt her eyes close themselves. She didn't fight. She was relieved, actually, to be able to slumber into the oblivion of sleep, even if only for a few hours.

As Thorin stood in front of the two Dwarves who had assaulted Laurelin, he remembered everything. He had been coming home from a trip to Oxenvale, with three of his most loyal warriors, when he had heard the shouts at first he had thought it was some quarrel between the two Dwarves, and he had decided he was too weary to intervene, but then he had heard the screams and the pleas of a woman. Only then had he understood what was really happening. Anger had flared in him, making him forget his weariness. He had kicked his pony's ribs so hard the little beast had burst into a swift gallop, and by the time he had reached the two brutes he had pulled his sword out. The other Dwarves had followed him, of course, giving them a clear advantage. One of the criminals, a mean Dwarf with a wild red beard and a missing finger on his left hand, had tried to flee, but one of Thorin's men had intercepted him and thrown him on the ground. His head had hit the hard cobbles of the road, and for a moment he had been so still everybody had thought he was dead. The second man, much taller – actually almost as tall as Thorin himself – had tried to fight back Thorin with a long sharp skinning knife, but he had neither the skill nor the strength to be a real threat for the young Prince. Soon they had both been under control, and Thorin had ordered his men to bind their hands, and to lock them in some dark cellar for the night.

Then he had knelt beside the victim... and he had recognized Laurelin. She didn't look like the sweet, proper little maid that worked for him anymore she was bloody and sobbing, filthy and disheveled, her clothes in ribbons around her half-naked body, but there was no doubt it was Laurelin. It had been such a shock, to him, that he had frozen on the spot, as if his very blood had turned into ice.

Laurelin.

What had they done to her ?

She was bruised and battered, and there was a long bloody line going from her throat to breasts, probably made by skinning knife. He had been horrified by what they had done to her – such a sweet, devoted, gentle young woman. How could anyone want to hurt her ? How, for Mahal's sake ? How evil and twisted must you be, to do something like that ? And they would have done even worse, Thorin was sure, if he had not come to her help. They would have used her, and once they were done with her they would have discarded her like an old rag – or maybe even killed her. Thorin didn't even want to think about that. He had covered her with his own cloak, before helping her to walk home, but the shame and hurt in her eyes had made him cringe. He had wondered if she would ever recover, or if this would haunt her for the rest of her life.

And now he was standing in front of those ugly criminals, and he felt himself boiling with black anger. He was furious not only against them, but also against himself. They had been with him from the very first day, when Smaug had destroyed everything Thorin had talked with them, even eaten with them on occasions, after a particularly good hunt. Yet he had not been able to see who they truly were. He had not realized what beasts were hiding behind their eyes. He had seen nothing, and now Laurelin had paid the price for his own mistakes. He would have loved nothing more than to kill them both – right here, right there , in the dark cellar, to make them pay for Laurelin's blood and tears... Her shame... She had said nothing, she had not complained, but Thorin had seen the shame in her teary eyes. The way she had looked away from him... They was she had tensed up when he had tried to help her...

 _Calm down,_ he ordered himself. _Remember what Father always says. A king must rule with his reason, not with his passions. If you let your feeling get the upper hand on your reason, you will take decisions you might regret later._

Thorin's eyes stared at the two criminals.

 **« The dragon stole our mountain and our treasures. »** he said sternly, trying to look impassive. **« The Elves refused to help us. The Dwarves of the Iron Hills won't assist us either. And the men despise us. We are alone. We are on our own. We can count only on ourselves. Don't you think that life's hard enough as it is ? Why do you need to make everything even worse by acting like beasts ? »** He had talked in a deep and threatening tone, very slowly, without raising his voice - but he had spat the last word at them with anger, as if it were poison. **« We need to help each other, and not destroy each other by inflicting unnecessary pain. We are the folk of Durin, and we are proud and honorable Dwarves. We do not behave like monsters. »** He paused to plunge his piercing eyes into those of the first man, then the second one. **« You do not deserve to belong to our folk anymore. »**

The cowardly redhead recoiled, and hit the wall behind him. But the tall one looked defiantly back at Thorin.

 **« We just wanted a lil' bit of fun after a hard day's work. »** he said, in his growling voice. **« Why do we have to make such a fuss about a lowborn lass ? She's just a nothing. »**

Thorin unsheathed his sword, and put the tip on his blade to the Dwarf's throat. He felt a strong urge to push it into his throat.

 **« Lowborn or highborn doesn't matter. »** he declared. **« A person's worth is not determined by the amount of gold in her parent's pockets. »** He thought about Laurelin, always there for him, always loyal, never asking anything back. The mere idea that someone could call her 'a nothing' was repulsing. **« Besides, the young lady is in my service. She's working for me. She was under my protection. By affronting her, you are affronting me, too. »**

The Dwarf sniggered loudly.

 **« In your service, my king ? »** He bared his teeth in something that might have been an evil smile, but it made him look like a dog who's about to bite **. « Oh, that's why you're so keen on defending her, aren't you ? You want her all for yourself, my Prince, am I right ? She must be quite something, in bed, for you to defend her like that ! »**

He laughed again, but Thorin reacted as quick as a lightning bolt. His blade broke the skin of the other Dwarf's throat. A tiny droplet of red blood slid down the white skin of his throat, before being sucked in by the hem of his shirt.

 **« Keep your mouth shut, or I'll shut it for you. »**

 **« Why else would a prince get so angry because of a worthless servant ? »**

Obviously, the filthy dog had decided to play the game of provocation to the very end. _Very well. Let him play. Let him spill his poison. I don't care._

Thorin would not react to his smutty assumptions. Only a foul mind could come up with such disgusting ideas.

 **« Our laws are very clear. »** he continued, as if he hadn't heard what the man had just said. **« Raising a hand on another Dwarf, and drawing his blood – for whatever reason – is a crime that will be... »**

 **« We are not in Erebor anymore ! »** the tall shaggy Dwarf interrupted him. Thorin had never seen such impudence. **« Such laws have no reason to exist anymore ! We are in the wild, now ! It's every one for himself, now, and those who are unable to protect themselves do not deserve to live ! They slow us down and they eat up all the food ! They are weak and they will make us all weak, if we let them ! »**

 **« It is not a matter of place, but a matter of honor. »** Thorin said, his voice as sharp as a whip. **« And you both have none. »**

 **« So what are you going to do about it ? »** the other one retorted. **« Kill me ? »** He spat on the ground, at Thorin's feet. **« You're not even a prince anymore. »**

In a flash of anger, Thorin hit him hard with the hilt of his sword. He fell on the ground, knocked out. His mean friend squeaked.

 **« Please, my lord Thorin ! »** he begged. **« I meant no harm ! I never wanted to hurt her ! It was him ! Only him ! He cut her open with his blade, and he hit her, but I didn't do it ! I didn't raise my hand on her ! I never hurt her ! »**

It was obvious, to Thorin, that this was no more than a tissue of lies. The cowardly Dwarf would have said anything to avoid punishment.

 **« You tried to force yourself on her ! »**

 **« N... not really. »** he said. **« I was sure she enjoyed it ! »**

 **« She said no, and she cried, and she begged you to stop ! That is not my idea of 'enjoying' something ! »**

 **« Please ! We didn't mean no harm ! »**

 **« Enough ! »** Thorin barked. He was getting tired of this. He wanted it to end. **« As soon as you get out of here, you will be marked as a criminal, so that all the Dwarves you will meet in your future will know you for what you truly are. »** The cross on his cheek, burned into his skin with red-hot iron, would make a pariah of him, in each and every kingdom of Dwarves, to the last of his days. Nothing would ever be able to wash the mark away. Nothing would ever be able to restore him to favor. It was no more than he deserved.

 **« No, please ! No, my lord Thorin ! Please ! »**

Thorin towered over him, making him look even smaller than he was.

 **« Keep that ugly mouth of yours shut, or I will throw you in the gutters of this city, like your little friend over there. »** Thorin nudged the unconscious Dwarf with the tip of his boot. **« The thieves and the cut-throats will take care of him. He will never hurt any woman again, I swear it in Mahal's name. »**

He walked away before the other Dwarf could add anything else. Then he walked out of the cellar he exchanged a few words with Dwalin and the three other Dwarves waiting outside, to tell them what they were to do with the prisoners, before climbing the stairs. He welcomed the light of the sun, outside, as well as the fresh breeze of wind on his face.

He decided to go and see Laurelin. She was not at her house, but Thorin was found her in his own house. It surprised him – why the hell was she not abed, to recover from her ordeal ? What was she doing here ? And her grandmother was there as well. She was the one who opened the door.

 **« Prince Thorin. »** she said, bowing. **« I tried to reason her. »** she said apologetically. **« I tried to convince her to go home and rest, but she refused. But maybe you will have more influence on her. She is so devoted to you... »**

 **« How is she ? »** he asked her gently.

The sad look on the old woman's face was eloquent enough. Thorin felt another pang of anger, immediately followed by pity as he saw her standing in the kitchen so dejectedly she was trying to prepare the meal, with fat tears running down her cheeks, and her eyes were as empty as if there was no soul behind them anymore. Her moves were slow, clumsy, uncoordinated. She was wearing a worn dress that was too long and too wide for her, and Thorin recognized it as coming from Dis' wardrobe. The young maid was no more than the shadow of her usual self. She startled when she heard Thorin's footsteps behind her, like a frightened mouse.

 **« Dinner will be ready soon. »** she announced in a toneless voice, without looking at Thorin.

He watched her. He had never been in this situation. He couldn't even fully understand how, or what, she felt. He didn't know how to react in front of her pain.

 **« Would it not be better for you to rest ? »** he asked, very softly, to be sure she would not take it as a rebuke. **« You are wounded, and you need time to heal. Oin said... »**

 **« I am fine. »** she interrupted him in the same lifeless tone.

 **« No, you're not. Laurelin. You need to take care of yourself. »**

 **« My job is to take care of you. And I lost... They threw everything into the mud, all the things I had bought for you – with your gold – and now... »**

He grabbed her under the chin with two fingers, very softly, almost tenderly. He made her look up at him. She closed her eyes, and more tears welled up under her closed lids.

 **« I promise you that I will never let anyone hurt you again. »** he vowed with genuine compassion, and he truly meant each of these words.

When Laurelin heard this unusual softness in Thorin's deep voice, she found the courage to open her eyes again, and to watch him for the first time since the attack. She was suddenly uncertain did he truly care for her ? Did she really matter, even if only a little, to this mighty prince ? She was frozen with doubt as she watched her own reflection in his blue eyes.

 **« I am... I'm nothing. »** she whispered through her tight throat. **« I am no more than a maid. There are so many others... better than me... more worthy than me... They... »** Then she cringed, because talking was waking the pain of her cut lip. She felt the coppery taste of blood on her tongue. **« I feel as if I were no more than a mere object... no better than this table, or this cooking pot... I'm just... »**

She never finished that last sentence. It was too much. She just resumed her cooking, and looked away from Thorin again. _I shouldn't tell him all theses things. He's a prince. He's got better things to do than listening to my whining._

 **« Laurelin... »**

There was such a deep sadness in his voice, as he called out her name, that Laurelin forgot – for a brief moment – about anything else.

She was about to say something, when someone knocked at the door. When her grand-mother had opened it, she heard Balin's polite voice coming in from outside.

 **« I'll be right back. »** Thorin told her, looking stricken. It was obvious he didn't want to leave her right now, but he left her anyways. He was a Prince, and he could not refuse his advice or his help to the other Dwarves who needed him.

She was suddenly alone again in the kitchen. Since the stew was ready, she put it off the fire, and onto the table. Thorin was still talking with the white-haired Dwarf, so she went to the living room and sat in front of the fireplace, her back against the pile of wood, on the old sheepskin they used as a saddle pad when they were traveling with the ponies. She was exhausted, but also terribly afraid to fall asleep and to have nightmares, as she did the night before, right after the attack. She grabbed Thorin's cloak, and wrapped it tightly around her it still smelled of him, and it made her feel safe. He was, after all, the man who had saved her from these brutes. And the knowledge that Thorin would soon be back into the house, so close to her, was a very pleasant thought as well. Maybe it would even be sufficient to keep the bad dreams at bay.

When Thorin closed the door behind Balin and Laurelin's grand-mother, who needed to go home, he saw Laurelin sitting there in front of the fire, her face bathed by the dancing light of the flames. He smiled at her, and the young maid was grateful for that smile. Something nice and good before facing the terrors of the night.

 **« Your meal is ready, Prince Thorin. »** she said, feeling a bit better than she had before.

He nodded slowly, then he went to sit at the old oaken table, where the food was waiting for him. Wrinkled and shriveled potatoes from last year, some bits of pork meat from yesterday, and small loaf of bread. Since everything she had bought for Thorin had been squandered, she had taken food from her own pantry to prepare his meal, and she had paid to bake the bread in the baker's oven with her own money. She had left enough to feed her grand-mother, but Laurelin herself had eaten nothing.

Thorin started to eat, and Laurelin relished the sounds of his fork against the earthen bowl. It was familiar. It meant safety.

But barely a few moments later, he got up again. Surprised, Laurelin looked up at him.

 **« Prince Thorin, is there a problem ? »**

 **« Yes, there is. »** he admitted. He walked over to the fireplace, and put the bowl in Laurelin's hands. **« You have more need of this than me. »**

 **« No. »** she said. **« I can't accept. I made it for you. »**

 **« I am your prince, and you are my maid. You are supposed to do everything I order you, are you not ? »**

 **« Y... Yes, Prince Thorin. I am. »**

 **« Good. »** he smiled. **« Because I order you to eat, and to finish his bowl, and to put yourself first for a few days. Can you do that ? »**

She was so surprised by this unexpected demand that she was at a loss for words. She stared at him wide-eyed as he walked to his bedchamber. The bowl was hot in her cold hands, and the smell of food suddenly made her realize she was hungry indeed.

Two hours later, Thorin was sitting at the table, reading the letter Balin had given him earlier. It came from his father. He was still in the Iron Hills, and would probably stay there for a few more weeks. Thorin wasn't surprised Dwarves were stubborn and often churlish when it came to parting with their gold, and trying to wring even a handful of coppers out of them was always delicate. Thror and Thrain would need time to convince the Iron Hills to give them what they so desperately needed.

While he was reading, he also watched Laurelin from the corner of his eyes. The young maid was still sitting at the same place, next to the fire, but at least she had eaten. Thorin's stomach was grumbling, but he was still convinced the food was better in her belly than in his own. She had just been through a horrifying ordeal, she needed strengths.

When the night grew late, Thorin felt his eyes prickle with sleep. He watched Laurelin, who hadn't moved at all and was still sitting with her back against the pile of wood. Her eyes were half closed. She was probably eager to go to bed and sleep, too, but too terrified to go out alone, at night, after what had happened. Thorin felt a new wave of pity for her.

 **« Laurelin, do you want me to walk you home ? »** he asked in a soft voice.

She startled when she heard him talk.

 **« Prince Thorin ? I'm sorry, but... Did you say something ? »**

 **« Do you want me to walk you home ? »** he repeated patiently.

 **« I don't want to bother you, Prince Thorin. »** she replied in a sleepy voice.

 **« It doesn't bother me. »** he assured her, his a kind and caring voice.

She hesitated, then she got up at last. She was still wrapped in his cloak. Thorin found it amusing that she had chosen one of his own garments to cover herself with a blanket would have been more convenient, but obviously she was content with the cloak. He didn't even try to understand why. Women were strange creatures – his sister Dis had proven it numerous times – but anyways he felt oddly pleased as he watched Laurelin. She looked small and frail, underneath that thick, heavy cloak. Almost like a child. More than ever, he wanted to protect her. To keep harm away from her.

 **« Let's go ? »** he suggested.

She nodded, but Thorin felt her reluctance.

 **« Is there a problem ? »** he asked, worried. **« You... I understand you are afraid to go out, but I am here now. And no one will hurt you, Laurelin. »**

She blushed, and her eyes suddenly shone with something he couldn't quite determine – tears ? Emotion ? Fear ?

 **« It's... it's nothing. »** she stuttered weakly.

Thorin felt the urge to put an arm around her shoulders, as he would have done with sister if he had seen her distressed, or to comfort a crying child - but he refrained himself. After what those two brutes had inflicted her, she would probably be frightened by the touch of any man, and the last thing he wanted was to make her even more uncomfortable.

 **« Prince Thorin, I... Could I... »** She blushed again, and lowered her eyes as if she had suddenly found something very interesting on the ground. **« Could I stay here, maybe ? »** she said at last.

Thorin was not sure he had heard correctly.

But she insisted.

 **« I feel safe, here... It's just... I feel safe... with you... I feel safe when I know you are close... »**

She was still looking at her feet.

Thorin, puzzled, didn't know what to answer. This was so unexpected. So bizarre.

 **« I see no reason why you couldn't stay, if this is really your wish. »** he answered at last, in an uncertain voice.

 **« Thank you. »** she said gratefully **« Thank you, Prince Thorin. »**

For the first time since the attack, Thorin saw life shining in her brown doe-eyes.

She returned on her old sheepskin at once, and sighed in relief as she settled comfortably there, in the warmth of the hearth, wrapped in Thorin's heavy cloak. She needed no more than that to be contented. She closed her eyes, as if to better enjoy the peace of quiet of this moment. Thorin watched her in silence for a while, to be sure she was fine, then he went to bed after wishing her a good night.

 _She is stronger than she looks,_ Thorin realized. _She is down, she is hurt, but she will get up again, eventually._ _They didn't break her._


	3. AZANULBIZAR - PART 1

The day had barely started, but Laurelin could feel today would be different from all the other days. There was something... something in the air... something in the attitude of all the Dwarves gathered inside... In truth, it was a bit frustrating for her to be out there, pacing up and down while she waited for them to be finished, not knowing what they were talking about. The King Under the Mountain, his son Thrain and his grand-sons Thorin and Frerin had met at the earliest hours of dawn, and later they had been joind by the Lady Dis and her husband Boraìn. Something important was happening, Laurelin knew it, even if she didn't quite understand what. She sighed and leaned her back against the wall.

Twenty-nine years had come and gone since Smaug had stolen the mountain from the Dwarves. Twenty-nine years of endless wandering, going from town to town, from city to city. Twenty-nine years of danger and hardship and uncertainty. Twenty-nine years of being mocked and shunned, never welcome anywhere. The plump, cheerful Dwarves of Erebor had turned into hardened, bitter survivors. Laurelin was still working for Thorin, and by now she knew him by heart one look was enough for her to know whether he was in a bad mood or in a good mood one look was enough for her to know exactly what he needed. Sometimes, they didn't even have to talk, because they understood each other without a word. There was something reassuring in this relationship life was hard and chaotic for both of them, but this was something they could rely on. Perhaps the only steady thing in their existence. Of course, there had been a few cheerful events, too, during those twenty-nine years. The Lady Dis had married her love Boraìn, and had later given birth to two healthy boys Fìli, the eldest, was now a mischievous toddler, while Kìli – the youngest – was no more than a wailing baby with a tuft of dark hair on his head. While Laurelin waited for something like that to happen to her as well, she enjoyed the company of the lady and her sons, but not as much as she enjoyed Thorin's company. She liked how protective he was, always worrying too much for her, always so tall and strong, always ready to stand between those who talked – or acted – rudely to her. One day, one of Thorin's best fighters had said something very offending to Laurelin, out there in the streets – a word that made her blush with shame, implying ugly things that didn't exist between her and Thorin. And Thorin had overheard it. He had been furious, and he had lectured the man about the respect he owed Laurelin, and later the Prince had offered the maid his most sincere aplogies for the man's crude words, as if it were his own fault. She had felt very touched, because most Dwarf-lords wouldn't even have bothered defending her they would have favoured the strong warrior over the shy and worthless maid, but Thorin was not like that. And after this day, Laurelin had taken even more pleasure in working for him. Seeing him smile as he ate the dinner she had just prepared, or hearing him thank her after she had worked hard for him, were the daily rewards that made her smile in spite of the harshness of their lives.

When Laurelin heard the footsteps inside coming towards the door, she straightened up, ready to greet them all.

The first to come out was Thror, the King Under the Mountain, closely followed by his son Thrain. Laurelin bowed deeply and respectfully in front of them, but they didn't even seem to notice her, as if she were no more than a shadow. She was used to their indifference, by now, and it didn't affect her anymore. The next to come out was Lady Dis she smiled at Laurelin in passing, but the maid thought she looked rather pale. Was she tired, maybe ? With two young children to care for, her days and her nights were probably very chaotic. Her husband walked at her side, with an arm around her waist. He was a handsome Dwarf with blond hair and blue eyes, his beard adorned with many braids, but he didn't give Laurelin more than a quick glance.

The last to come out was Thorin. He smiled at Laurelin.

 **« I will come home late. »** he announced. **« Don't bother preparing a meal. Try to rest for a few hours. You need it. »**

 **« I am fine. »** she said, but she knew Thorin was not fooled by her lie. _He knows I am tired. He sees me working from dawn to dusk every day, sometimes even late into the night. He knows I am helping the midwive of the village every time a baby is delivered somewhere in town, and he knows I am tending a garden of my own to sell the vegetables on the market._

In truth, Laurelin was not just tired – she was exhausted. Even when she just woke up, she was already exhausted. She had dark circles under her eyes, yet there was no other choice for her. She needed the money, particularly now that her grand-mother was sick. The old woman needed medicine every day, to dull the unbearable pain of her worn body.

 **« You won't be able to keep up like that forever. »** Thorin told her, and she was touched by his concern.

 **« Yet I have to. »** she said, and suddenly she felt her throat tighten up. She wanted to cry, but she knew it would have made her look ridiculous. Each and every Dwarf she knew was facing difficulties, and some had it even worse than Laurelin. Weeping would not solve anything.

Thorin's eyes met hers, and he smiled.

 **« If we succeed in our plans, maybe our lives will be easier again.** » he said slowly, his eyes shining with hope.

 **« Your life, maybe, but not mine. »** she said, lowering her gaze. She remembered life in Erebor, and she remembered how her parents had toiled every day of their lives, with very few pleasures or satisfactions to cheer them up. No matter what would happen, no matter where they would go, the young maid knew her fate would be no different from theirs.

 **« We will talk about this another time. »** Thorin promised her. **« For now, I need to join my father and my brother. »** He made a few steps, then he stopped and looked over his shoulder at Laurelin. **« Rest. »** he repeated.

 **« Yes, Prince Thorin. »** she answered in a formal tone.

Then she bowed, and went back to the work that was awaiting her. She knew very well she would not obey him if she didn't have duties with Thorin for the rest of the day, she would still have to weed the garden and to harvest the potatoes before they started rotting. Such work couldn't wait. There would definitely be no rest for Laurelin today.

When Thorin went back home, at last, he was completely exhausted. They had spent the rest of the day – and most part of the night – gathering the warriors and making battle-plans together. Dwarves were loud and rowdy creatures, stubborn and quick to anger, always bickering among themselves about the most unworthy details ; getting them all to listen and to agree with each other had been strenuous. Dwalin, of course, had been enthralled by the idea of taking up his battle-axe again, and Bhoraìn had been eager enough, too, even though he didn't like the prospect of parting with his beloved family. But the most enthusiastic of them all had been Frerin ; as a second son, he had always felt a bit left out, as if less important to the King's eyes as his eldest brother, and he yearned to prove he was just as worthy as Thorin – and a battle was the perfect opportunity to do so. Thorin himself liked the idea of taking their lives back into their own hands. If they could reconquer the halls of Moria, they would have a home again. A place to call their own. No more begging, no more working in filthy forges for Men who despised them.

When he opened the door, he saw Laurelin sitting in front of the fire, as usual. Her long brown hair was unbound, and her feet bare. She was pretty, in spite of her beardless face, and – not for the first time – he wondered how long it would take till some man enraptured her heart and drove her away from him. He didn't like the idea of her leaving, even if he knew it was inevitable.

Annoyed by these unpleasant thoughts, he pushed them aside. There would be time enough to think about it later.

 **« Laurelin ? »** he called softly. She turned around, and welcomed him with a polite smile.

 **« Is there anything you need, Prince Thorin ? »**

 **« Yes, please. »** he told her. She got up, and joined him at the entrance of the house while he removed his dirty shoes. **« I will have great need of your help, during the next days. »** He shoved his shoes into a corner, then he pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket. **« Here, Laurelin. I will need all these supplies, as soon as possible. How long do you think it will take you, to gather everything ? »**

She took the piece of paper, gave it a quick look, and shoved it into her pocket. She was slightly flushed, but her face was expressionless _._

 **« Yet I don't want you to roam the streets on your own. »** Thorin continued. He hadn't forgotten what had happened last time, so many years ago. He had almost lost her, that day. He would never let it happen again. **« You will be accompanied by Oin – he's a healer, but he also knows how to fight, if need be. He'll be able to protect you, and to give you good advice on the goods you will have to buy. »**

 **« We will need a few days, I think. »** she replied in an uncertain voice, clearly ill at ease. **« I will do my best to satisfy you. »** she assured him with a confident smile, and Thorin knew it was not just en empty promise. She _always_ did her best to satisfy him.

Thorin grabbed the purse that was hanging on his belt, and he pushed it into Laurelin's hands. It was filled wit coins – almost everything Thorin had managed to save during their exile – and it was very heavy.

 **« This should be enough. »** he said. **« And if there's any gold left after you have bought everything I need, please keep it for your own use. I have heard your grand-mother is sick, and she needs medicine. Only gold can buy medicine. »**

 **« Prince Thorin ! »** she exclaimed, shaking her head. **« I just can't... You need it too... »**

 **« You can, and you will. »** Thorin insisted gently. He didn't understand why it was so hard for her to accept a well-deserved kindness. Was it pride ? Was it shame of being poor ? Or maybe something else ?

She sighed, and nodded. But then she suddenly looked up at him, worried.

 **« Prince Thorin, can I ask you where you are going ? I've heard rumors on the market... Rumors about... about war... »**

Thorin sighed, slightly annoyed at how fast gossip had spread around town. Grand-Father and Father had insisted on keeping all this as secret as possible, to avoid unnecessary panic and anguish amongst the Dwarves who would stay behind – yet one of the warriors had talked, obviously. Thorin wished he knew which one of them.

 **« Yes, we are leaving for war. »** he admitted wearily. There was no point lying to her. **« But do not look at me with such terrified eyes, young lady. »** he chided her softly. **« We plan to reconquer the Moria, yes. We plan to kill the Orcs who live there, yes. What you have heard is true. We... »**

 **« Orcs ? »** she interrupted him, before realizing how impolite that was. **« I'm sorry, »** she added hastily, her face suddenly very pale. **« I didn't mean to be rude. But... Orcs ? Really ? It will be... it will be dangerous, then... ? »**

 **« Do not worry. »** he reassured her. **« The scouts who just came back from Khazad-Dûm told us there are only very few Orcs left there. Most of the halls are dark and empty, and only a very reduced garrison is guarding the place. They won't give us much trouble. »**

 **« But there will be a battle. »** Laurelin insisted. **« They won't just run away when they see you come. They will fight to death... »**

Sweet little Laurelin, always so worried for the others...

 **« They will be outnumbered, Laurelin, and we will break through their defenses like a hot knife into butter. »** She didn't seem convinced, so he continued. **« You have seen the King. Have you seen my father, and my brother, and all the other warriors who will be fighting with us ? Have you seen Dwalin ? Do you really think there is any force in this world that could possibly destroy them ? »**

 **« Yes, I have. »** she replied. **« The day Smaug conquered Erebor. »** she added very softly.

He hadn't expected that response, although she was right.

 **« It is not a dragon we are going to fight in the Moria, but only Orcs. It is easy for a well-trained warrior to kill Orcs. »**

 **« Really ? »** she was still doubtful.

 **« We will be back before any of you here will have time to miss us. »** he joked feebly.

Of course, some Dwarves would not come back. Battle – even an easy battle – always meant at least a few deaths. Besides, there might be other things lurking in the bottomless abyss of the Moria, foul things no one wanted to face. But Thorin mentioned none of this to his young maid. He didn't want her to be plagued by nightmares every night till they came back.

 **« When will you leave ? »** she asked. There was still fear in her voice. He hadn't succeeded in reassuring her.

 **« Ten days. »** he replied. **« This will give us a few days to prepare. Our swords are rusty, and our arms are now more used to wielding a hammer than a weapon. I will need your presence, during those ten days, Laurelin. Not only to buy the goods on my list, but also to pack my things and make sure everything is loaded properly on the wagon. And you will have to take care of my pony, too, if it's not too much to ask. I know you already work hard. I don't like asking even more of you, and I wouldn't do it if I** **had any other choice, but I don't. And besides - once I'm gone you will have time to rest for a while, and to spend time with your grand-mother, who needs you at her side. »**

 **« I will do whatever I can to help you, »** she said, smiling. She didn't mind feeding the pony and cleaning his stall. She loved animals.

 **« If we reconquer the halls of Khazad-Dûm, we will have a home again, Laurelin. A true home. And hope. It will be the start of a new life, for all of us. Everything will be easier. »** He looked at Laurelin's poor hands, rough and callused from work. Black earth from her garden was incrusted under her nails. The circles under the maid's eyes were darkening every day, making her look exhausted even in the morning. No one should endure so many hardships at such a tender age, Thorin reflected sadly.

 **« It will be easier for you, Prince Thorin, because you are part of the royal family, but for me nothing will change. »** she pointed out once more. **« I will still be a maid, and my grand-mother will still be... sick.** »

 _She almost said dying,_ Thorin realized. She knows her grand-mother has reached the end of her long life.

 **« No, your life will change, too, Laurelin. »** he assured her. **« I will make sure you never have to suffer any hardship again.** **I can't change your gand-mother's fate – I truly wish I could, but even a Prince does not have this power – but I can promise you that I will make your life better. I will be able to pay you decently, for a start, so you won't have to work for other people on top of working for me. Your days will be easier. You will be able to sleep more than just five or six hours a night. You will be able to eat properly, instead of having to make do with a few crumbs and leftovers. »** He smiled at her. **« It may not replace the loving presence of your grand-mother... Nothing could... But at least it will be better than mourning her in a filthy town of men, surrounded by people who would harm you if they could. »**

She hesitated.

 **« I would like that, yes. »** she admitted in a small voice. Then she looked up at Thorin, as if she were trying to read his features, but when the man's blue eyes met hers she lowered her gaze again. All the things he had just talked about... It sounded wonderful, but something was still bothering her. _Once he will be a true Prince again, he will probably marry within months. He's handsome and strong and noble. He will have no problem finding himself a wife. And babies will probably follow soon enough._ Thorin would not need her anymore. What would become of Laurelin, then ? What would she do with her life ?

 **« Be careful while I am away, all right ?** **»** Thorin continued, looking worried. **« And if you have a problem, or if you need anything – anything at all – you go to my sister. At first she wanted to join the warriors for battle, but in the end she decided to stay home with her sons, who are still too young to be entrusted to anybody else. Dis will be there for you, if you need help. Don't be shy. Knock at her door even if it is in the middle of the night. »**

 **« Yes, Prince Thorin. »** she answered dutifully, but Thorin wondered if she would really do it. Laurelin was good at taking care of others, but she always neglected her own needs, as if they didn't matter at all. **« Thank you... for what you do for me... »** she said humbly.

 **« No more than you deserve. »** Thorin said in a gentle voice. **« You are loyal, hard-working and devoted. »** He saw her blush as she heard the compliments. **« I wish I could do more for you and your grand-mother. »**

 **« It will be... a relief, for my grand-mother, when the moment comes. »** she said dejectedly, her throat so tight it was painful. **« Then end of her suffering. But... somehow... I will still miss her... All my family will be gone... All of them... »**

Tears glittered in her brown eyes.

Thorin put a comforting hand on her forearm.

 **« I am sorry. »** he said with genuine sadness. **« Life is cruel, to take them all away from you, but you are young, and you have many years to live yet. Mourn your family, but don't let sadness and despair hold sway over you, »** he said. **« Better times will come for us. For all of us, Laurelin. And good things may happen to you in the years to come, probably when you least expect it. One day you will smile again. »**

She nodded, and walked out of the room without further talk.

Thorin could see how sad she still was. He wished he could stay at her side, to keep her from sinking too deep into gloom and melancholy, but Thror was already waiting for him, and the old king wasn't a patient man. He didn't like to wait.

Laurelin could hear, in the distance, the commotion of the marching procession of Dwarves. Thror's voice, as well as Thrain's and Thorin's, could be heard over the racket, urging the warriors forward. She looked away from her sick grand-mother, but she couldn't see anything through the dirty panels of the window. She sighed, and grabbed the old woman's hand. Then, slowly, the noise faded away, followed by a long silence. Only the barking of a dog, several streets away, could be heard. Laurelin lowered her eyes, wondering how many of them would not come back, or what would happen to Durin's folk is all the warriors – and kings – would be killed. Would they all be able to survive, without a leader ? Would they all die, too ?

 **« They are gone, now. »** she whispered softly, with a tender smile on her lips, as she stroked her grand-mother's cheek.

Then she closed her eyes, and all she could see was Thorin wearing his armour, with a sword at his belt and a battle axe in his hands. This is how she had last seen him, a few hours ago, as she had left his house to join her grand-mother.

 _Will I ever see him again, or will they bring back a corpse ?_

She started praying in silence.


	4. AZANULBIZAR - PART 2

Night was falling by the time they had gathered all the dead Dwarves. So many... There were so many of them... Hundreds... Thorin contemplated them in silence, his senses dulled by sadness and grief. They had been fierce, loyal warriors – all of them. He was so exhausted himself that he could barely stand, yet he didn't move to sit down or rest. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the corpses.

 **« Thorin ? »** someone called him softly.

When he turned around, he saw Balin standing behind him. He was bloody and bedraggled, with a haggard look on his face.

 **« We found Frerin. »** the white-haired Dwarf announced. There was grief in his voice, and Thorin knew what his next words would be even before he said them. **« He is dead, Thorin. I am sorry. »** Then he added, more formally. **« His death is a terrible loss for our people. »**

Frerin... His little brother... Dead as well...

Just like Thror, the King Under the Mountain.

Just like Thrain, that everybody believed dead even though his body had not been found yet.

Thorin's legs were weak after his efforts during the battle, and he didn't know how long they would still carry him. His left arm was stiff, sore and bruised after the terrible blows the pale orc had landed on his makeshift shield of oaken wood, but pain was the proof he was still alive, unlike all the others. He also bore countless bruises, scratches and cuts all over his body, and when he watched his own hands he saw they were encrusted with drying blood.

 **« What of Boraìn ? »** Thorin asked wearily. **« Did you find him ? »**

 **« He is alive. »** Balin said, and Thorin sighed in relief. **« But he is badly wounded, though. The healer says he is strong, and she should survive if he is given proper treatment, but nothing is certain, so far. »**

 _Let him live,_ he prayed silently. _For my sister's sake, let him live. Dis needs a bit of love in her life, and the little ones need a father to raise them._

 **« See that he gets everything he needs. »** Thorin ordered his old friend.

Balin nodded and walked away, limping.

Then Thorin stared at the dead Dwarves again.

 **« What have we done ? »** he whispered hoarsely, even if there was no one around him to hear his words. _All we wanted was to make our lives better. Have a home again. Reconquer the halls that the Orcs have been besmirching for too long. We were full of hopes and dreams, and now more than half of our people are lying on the ground, cold and dead._

He wanted to cry, and to scream in agony, but he couldn't. Not here, not in front of his people. As a prince, he had to remain strong at all cost, so he took in a deep breath and straightened up, in spite of the pain.

It was high time to pick up the pieces, and to go back where the rest of their people were waiting for them. _Like beaten dogs,_ Thorin relfected. _Heads low and grief in our eyes. Dejected and empty-handed._

Life and fate had been hard on them once more.

When would all the pain stop ?

Laurelin hadn't slept for several nights. Every morning and every evening since the kings had left to reconquer the Moria, the young maid had wandered at the limit of the camp, and searched the horizon in the hope of seeing them return, of hearing their voices in the distance... So far her hopes at been dashed every time, and she had trudged back home in silence, her heart stricken with anguish and sorrow.

But today, as if the gods had heard her prayers at last, she saw Thorin and his men appear on top of the grassy hill that faced the camp.

She almost screamed in joy and relief, even more so when Thorin's eyes fell on her.

She called his name and all but ran towards him, but very soon she realized something was wrong. Her enthusiasm faded away, leaving her filled with dread. So few of them had returned... It was no more than a few score of wounded Dwarves, with grim faces and ragged beards, their eyes filled with a darkness that frightened Laurelin. She looked up at Thorin, horrified tears were pouring down her round cheeks, and she had to fight back a strong urge to put her hands on him, on his face, to comfort him. Death had struck them once more, and she had almost lost Thorin, too. She was certain of it. He was in such a bad state...

Before Laurelin could say or do any more, though, the Lady Dis came running towards them, her face in tears as well. The maid hesitated, then she stepped back quickly. She knew this was not her place right now was the time for family reunions, the time for siblings joining to mourn their dead together and to comfort each other - and Laurelin was no family. She was just a servant, after all, and no matter how much she would have loved to comfort Thorin, she had to accept the situation as it was. She went to sit on a stump next to Thorin's home, waiting for her turn, her throat so tight it was hard for her to swallow, or even to breathe. She was full of fear and grief – and bitterness. Having to stay out of the way was awfully frustrating.

When Thorin appeared at last, several hours later, Laurelin was still sitting at the same place, a bit stiff after being still for such a long time. Her face was wet with tears when she looked up at him never before had she been so afraid. She got up and walked awkwardly over to him, banging her hips into the heavy oak sideboard on her way, but she was so worried for Thorin that she barely felt the pain.

 **« You waited here for me ? »** Thorin asked, surprised. It was late, and he had probably expected her to be in bed, yet Laurelin would have been unable to sleep without having exchanged at least a few words with him.

 **« I didn't have the priviledge to talk to you when you came back, »** she said, both relieved to be close to him at last, ande worried as she saw his wounds. No one had tended them yet, obviously. The healers were probably too busy with the Dwarves whose lives were still threatened. Minor injuries could wait. **« Let me clean your wounds. »** she suggested.

 **« Just scratches... »** he whispered, too exhausted to say any more. **« Don't worry. »**

 **« Please, let me help. »** she insisted. Thorin saw the glistening tears on her cheeks, and his last strand of resistance melted away. He let Laurelin lead him inside the house, sniffing and wiping her tears with her sleeve. First she prepared a quick but hearty meal with the goods she had put aside every day during his absence – a thick slice of dark bread, smoked river trout, a piece of soft white cheese, a pair of garlic sausages, and a hot bowl of vegetable stock from the day before.

Thorin ate, but without real appetite he agreed to feed his hungry body, but he didn't take any pleasure from his food. He was bone weary, and still dazed by the death of almost every member of his family. His eyes, ordinarily so piercing, were now empty and without focus. His thoughts were elsewhere, as if he had left part of himself over there, at the gates of the Moria where so many of his warriors had fallen.

When Thorin was finished with his meal, Laurelin got the small chest of cherry wood she kept on top of a shelf, in the kitchen. It contained everything she would need – medical herbs, soothing slaves, sticky onguents, and other remedies she had gathered over the years she had spent in Thorin's service. She knew how to tend to small wounds or scratches, but she had never treated such important injuries as Thorin was now bearing. She was not sure she would be up to the task – would she even be able to see all that blood without flinching ? - but she gathered her courage and did it anyways. Thorin didn't resist he was already more than half asleep, and barely realized what she was doing.

Laurelin spent the rest of the night nursing Thorin back to health, cleaning even the smallest scratches on his body, inch after inch of skin. His left arm was was bruised from shoulder to wrist, yet luckily no bone had been shattered when the pale Orc had unleashed his fury on the Prince of the Dwarves. He would heal without after-effects, with time, yet Laurelin was aghast every time she thought about the violence of this fight. She had heard rumors while she had been waiting on her stump Thorin had only just escaped death, saved by a mere piece of wood. Oakenshield they now called him. Thorin Oakenshield. The one who had killed Azog the Defiler. Laurelin shuddered as she tried to picture the huge white beast, and how he had almost taken the Prince's life. Her hands started to tremble, but then she pulled herself together.

He is back, isnt he ? He is alive ! There's no point in agonizing over things that didn't happen, you stupid.

She cleaned the wounds with hot water, till there was no dirt left inside, then she smeared the small ones with healing salves and stitched up the deeper sword cuts. She also put a cataplasm on Thorin's battered left arm, before wrapping it in a thick bandage. Her small hands were red with blood and sticky with ointments by the time she was done she washed them in a bucket of cold water, then she cleared away the mess.

When she was done at last, she retreated to let Thorin sleep quietly. Healing and recovering his strengths would take up most of his energy, during the next days, and the best way to help him would be by letting him rest without disturbing him any further. It was hard to leave his side, though, and she had a hard time concentrating on anything else. She came to check on him several times during the following hours – to pull the blankets over him again, to watch if the bandages were holding in place, or simply to make sure he was still breathing...

Thorin slept for almost two days in a row. When he woke up at last, Laurelin was still there, at his side. She had been the first to rush towards him as he had returned, even before Dis. It had surprised Thorin, as much as he was now suprised by the maid's devotion to him. It was the proof that she was not only serving him out of duty, like most servants in Erebor did it was obvious she truly cared about him.

To be honest, Thorin did not remember that much of his first night at home by the time he had reached his bed, led by Laurelin, he had been so exhausted that everything around him was no more than a blurry haze. But some things he could recall dimly, like her cold hands on his feverish hot skin, and how nimble her fingers had been, and the strong smell of the salves she had used on his injuries. He also remembered the strong feeling of well-being that had swept over him as the maid had bustled around him. And now she was sitting here, right next to his bed, mending one of Thorin's old shirts she had turned into a wonderful seamstress over the years, and she greatly enjoyed working with the needle, but right now she had dark circles under her eyes.

 _How many sleepless nights did she spend watching over me ?_ Thorin wondered. _Did she sleep at least a few hours, since I came back ?_

He sighed, and moved slightly in his bed to find a more comfortable position. A strong smell of roasting meat was floating in the air, making his stomach grumble, but he still felt too weak and tired to get up. He closed his eyes again, and listened to Laurelin she was singing herself, as usual, and her soft soothing voice slowly eased away the horrible pictures he kept seeing in his mind. He felt his muscles relax as he enjoyed her soft humming, like a small child being rocked to sleep by his mother's voice.

A few moments later, when he had gathered his strengths and wanted to get up, Laurelin jumped on her feet and put a hand on his brow, to keep him from moving. Her hand was pleasantly cold, and in spite of her callused skin her touch very gentle, almost tender. He looked up at her. She blushed, and lowered her eyes. She removed her hand at once.

 **« Please, Prince Thorin. »** she said shyly, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt. **« You need to rest, if you want to heal. »**

Since he did not yet feel strong enough to squabble with her – or with anyone else – he obeyed, and reclined on his pillow again. His left arm was still bandaged, but the pain there had been reduced to a dull throbbing.

After a short silence, Laurelin spoke again :

 **« Are you hungry ? »** she asked, with a sweet and reassuring smile on her lips, and her eyes shining with tenderness. **«** **We have roast pork chops, and pigeon pie, and also fresh turnips. And berries from the forest, too. Maghà gave them to me, but I didn't eat them. I saved them for you... »** she added timidly. The young maid knew how much Thorin loved pigeon pie they couldn't afford it very often, since the butter she used for the crust was so expensive, and she was sure he would appreciate it. She also wanted him to know that he had never left her thoughts during his absence, and that she had always believed in his return.

 **« Yes, please. »** Thorin said in a whisper. **« I am very hungry indeed. »**

His stomach was still rumbling loudly, and besides he knew he needed food to recover from his injuries.

He propped himself up to sit in his bed, and Laurelin put a pair of pillows behind his back to make him more comfortable. Then she went into the kitchen, and came back with his meal on a wicker tray. Thorin smiled at her seeing her bring him his food was a familiar sight – familiar and reassuring. So many things had fallen to pieces in his life, but Laurelin at least was still there. It was a comforting thought. It made him feel better, a bit.

While Thorin was eating, Laurelin kept wiping his brow with a cold, wet piece of rag, to bring down the fever. She didn't say a word, but Thorin say in her big brown eyes all the genuine concern she was feeling for him she was obviously very sad and worried.

 **« Thank you. »** he said softly, when she removed the rag from his forehead to plunge it once more in the bucket of water.

 **« You're welcome. »** she answered, with a shy smile.

When Thorin's bowl was empty, he laid down on the bed again, and closed his eyes once more. Eating had taken up most of his strenghts, and he needed to rest. Laurelin removed the bandages to check on his injuries, to make sure they were starting to fester again, but everything was all right. They were healing nicely well, the deep cut on his right shoulder was still a bit red and inflamed, hot to the touch, but it was much better than it had been on the first day.

She started singing again, in a very soft voice, barely more than a whisper.

Thorin sighed, and relaxed. As long as she would sing, there would be no nightmares, Thorin knew it – as if her voice was some sort of guardian angel watching over his sleep.

Laurelin kept singing, as if she had somehow sensed how much he needed to hear her.


	5. NOT ALONE

Laurelin was gathering Thorin's clothes to wash them at the river when she heard him move in his bath, on the other side of the closed door.

 **« Prince Thorin, is there anything you need ? »** she asked through the wooden panel, without entering, to allow him some privacy.

 **« I am fine. »** he replied in a sharp voice.

Laurelin tried not to feel hurt by his curt answer. She knew it was hard for him, to be treated like a cripple who needs assistance day and night, even for the most simple tasks of daily life. He was a proud man, and he hated being so weak, and what he hated even more was for anybody to see him in such a state. It made him grumpy and unpleasant. Laurelin knew she should just ignore his bad mood – she had done no mistake, and his anger was no more than the result of several days of frustration – but she couldn't. She was too devoted to him to be able to act as if nothing was wrong. She aplogized several times before walking away, her throat tight and her eyes filled with tears.

A few moments later, she heard Thorin crawl out of his tub. His right knee was still stiff and swollen, which made it very hard for him to bend his leg. His moves were clumlsy and ungraceful, but this time Laurelin didn't ask him whether he needed help. She was kind and good-hearted, but she had no desire to give him further reason to vent his anger at her. It's only when she heard him fall and swear, a few moments later, that she decided to see what was happening in the other room. She knocked, but Thorin didn't answer. She entered anyways – _what if he is unconscious ?_ \- and blushed when she saw him half-naked, wearing only his trousers. She cursed herself for acting so rashly, once more. She turned around and walked out of the room again, mumbling sincere apologies without looking at Thorin.

 **« Laurelin ? »** the Prince called her. **« I need help to put on my shirt. »** he admitted grudgingly, between clenched teeth.

Awkwardly, he picked up the white linen shirt and shoved it into Laurelin's hands as soon as she was close enough. She nodded, and did her best to help, but Thorin's left arm was still very stiff and bruised, and every move was making him wince in pain, and they had to struggle for a while till they managed to get it into the sleeve. Laurelin tried to touch Thorin's skin as little as possible, as if she would burn her fingers if she touched it. Being so close to Thorin made her feel particularly ill at ease, when he was in such a sour mood. Sometimes, she wished he would open up and talked to her about the battle – sharing a burden always made it lighter to bear – but he just kept silent and sullen, and a mere serving girl like Laurelin had no right to question her prince. It would have been far too inappropriate.

 **« We're almost finished. »** she said as her fingers worked on the last button of his shirt.

Thorim grumbled, and Laurelin almost teared up in front of him. It had been like that for two days, now. He was either angry, or brooding, or annoyed at something. It was not the Thorin she used to know, as if one man had gone to war and another one had come back, full of bitterness and resentment.

Of course, he was like that with everybody, not only Laurelin – with Balin and Dwalin, with the healers, and even with his beloved little sister Dis. Not two hours ago, she had come by to visit him and he had ended up yelling at her, too. Only Dis was strong-willed and stubborn, and she didn't let Thorin's bad mood reduce her to tears _You stubborn old mule,_ she had yelled back at him, her arms crossed over her ample breasts. Laurelin had gaped at her, completely shocked to hear someone call Thorin a stubborn old mule, as if he were no more than a rude child being told off by his mother. _I know you're suffering, but you're not the only one, and that's certainly not a reason to treat us as all like a bunch of mangy dogs._ Then she had walked away from him, with tears on her face and sparks of utter fury in her dark eyes. But she had smiled at Laurelin. _I admire you courage,_ she had told the young servant. _It is very noble of you to stay at his side even though he's acting so wilfully, but no one could blame you if you decided to spend a few days away from him. You'd be very welcome in my own housen for a few days. I could need some help with Fìli and Kìli, now that my husband is wounded and needs constant attention. And it would serve Thorin right. Let him be alone for a few days, or even a fortnight. Let him brood and sulk. Get away from him, and wait for him to give you the apology you deserve._ Laurelin had been very tempted for a few moments, but in the end she had refused her proposition, saying that her duty was with Thorin, in good times but also in bad times. _As you wish,_ the Lady Dis had replied. _But if you change your mind, you know where my house is. And don't let him bring you down. If he goes too far, tell him. Or tell me, and I'll ring his bells for you_.

Laurelin took a deep breath to swallow down her sobs. She would not cry in front of Thorin.

Once she was done with the shirt, she combed his thick black hair and braided it tightly, to keep it away from the wounds.

 **« I need to shave and trim my beard, too. »** he said sternly.

This was something Laurelin could not do herself she had never learned to, and besides she would have been far too frightened to hold such a sharp blade against the tender skin of his throat.

 **« I will get Zharhaìn. »** she said dutifully.

 **« Yes, please. »** Thorin replied. Yet when the maid reached the door, Thorin called her back, quite unexpectedly. **« Laurelin ? »**

 **« Yes, Prince Thorin ? »**

 **« I just... »** He looked suddenly quite embarrassed. **« I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for my awful attitude, these last days... It is... Yes, it is difficult for me, but my sister was right. It's no excuse to bark orders at you like you're just some dog, or to treat you unfairly. You deserve better, but I am grateful you choose to stay at my side in spite of my unworthy behavior... »**

Laurelin, taken aback, blushed deeply.

 **« My place is here, at your service, Prince Thorin. »** she said quite formally.

 **« I insist. »** he said. **« I know I'm giving you a hard time, when your life is so hard already. »** Suddenly all the anger was gone, and his voice was tinged with sadness when he continued. **« I... I don't like being like that. I wish I could just... »** He sighed, then he shook his head **. « All these pictures in my head. These awful pictures... I wish I could them wipe out of my memory, but I can't. And I just... »**

He never finished this last sentence. He just shook his head once more.

 **« You don't have to justify yourself or to give me any explanations. »** Laurelin replied. **« You don't own me anything. »**

 **« Yes, I do. »** he insisted stubbornly. **« I can still see them all... The dead Dwarves... my fallen warriors... My grand-father's head rolling at my feet... My little brother... All dead... So many corpses... The ground was covered with them from horizon to horizon. The earth had turned into mud from all the blood that was shed. And every time I close my eyes, I see them standing in front of me. They're dead, and their empty eyes are staring at me accusingly... They're wondering why I am still alive, while they are all dead and rotting in their tombs... They're waiting for me in the halls of Mahal... They... they hate me, Laurelin. It's my family that led them to their doom, my family that convinced them there was hope when in reality there was none... And the Orcs... so many Orcs... When I sleep I am plagued with nightmares, and when I am awake I am riddled with doubt and guilt, like a rotten apple with worms. There's no rest. Sometimes I wish I would have died, too. Anything would be better than enduring this torture, day after day. »**

Then he put his face in his hands, as if he wanted to hide himself from Laurelin.

Moved by the depth of his grief and torment, she clutched her heart with one hand. This was a side of himself he had never shown her before he was not the Prince anymore, not this Thorin Oakenshield everybody talked about with awe in their voices. What Laurelin saw in front of her now was the man hiding underneath the glorious titles. He was almost vulnerable. Laurelin wished she could do something for him, to ease his pain.

 **« Prince Thorin, I... »** she started, but she didn't know how to continue. She was pleased that Thorin had decided to confide in her at last, and more than anything else she was happy to see his anger had vanished. **« It was not your fault. »** she said softly. **« You couldn't know how it would end. No one could have predicted it. You can't blame yourself. »**

Thorin's eyes studied Laurelin for a long time, as if he saw her for the very first time.

 **« Why are you still here with me ? »** he asked wearily. **« I heard what my sister told you. Why didn't you go with her ? »**

 **« I pledged my life and service to you. »** she explained. **« Not to your sister. »**

 **« I don't deserve to have someone at my service, even less someone as kind as you are. »** he said, still staring intently at her.

She blushed a deep red.

 **« Thank you, Prince Thorin. »** she said.

 **« Laurelin, please don't judge me too hard. »** he answered, almost begging now. **« I know I've been giving you a hard time, these last days, but... I promise you that I will do my best to act more honourable, from now on. And if I ever... if I ever treat you again in a way that you consider inappropriate – be it tomorrow, or next week, or in ten years – I allow you to yell back at me. Maybe you should take some lessons with Dis. She's always been good at that. »** Thorin joked.

Laurelin couldn't help but smile as she remembered the 'stubborn old mule'. Suddenly, the atmosphere was a bit lighter.

Thorin took her hand in his she didn't know why, exactly – maybe to feel closer to her ? - but she enjoyed the physical contact anyways. His hand was rough and scarred by battle, but it was big and warm, and strong. He was looking at Laurelin pleadingly.

Laurelin watched her own little hand as it rested against Thorin's, for a long while, her mouth ajar with disbelief. She looked up at him inquiringly, but before Thorin could add anything Laurelin felt her own fingers entwine with the Prince's.

 **« I... I don't know what to say... »** she admitted. **« But... I know you've suffered a great loss, and it must be so hard for you... and you're wounded, too... »** She stopped. **« There's nothing for me to forgive you. »** she said finally, but the words were in contradiction with what she was truly feeling , and they sounded wrong even to her own ears. She decided to be honest with him, since he had been honest with her. **« It's just hard for me to hear you talk to me like that, Prince Thorin. You're hurt, and I see you are in pain, and I just want to help... It's not pity, Prince Thorin. There's nothing for you to be asamed about, and you don't have to... »** She stopped, and had to take a deep breath before she could say any more. **« There's so many things in my life, right now, that are going wrong... Sometimes I just feel like I'm nothing, and once my grand-mother will be dead, no one will care for me anymore. I will be all alone in the world. And it frightens me, Prince Thorin. It really frightens me. And the only thing that used to give me comfort, in the midst of all this turmoil, was the knowledge that I would always have my place at your side, working for you and making your life as pleasant as possible. Only now... when I hear you talk to me like that... »**

Her voice was soft and low, without even the slightest hint of anger - just sadness.

 **« Now the idea of being in my company doesn't bring you any comfort anymore. »** he finished for her. She lowered her eyes.

 **« I am sorry. »** he said. **« I am not blind. I know how hard it is for you. I know you struggle, too. »** He tightened his grip on her hand. **« Give me just another chance, Laurelin. Please... »**

She nodded, unable to say anything. Her soft brown eyes were wide open, shining with emotion. She enjoyed Thorin's strong grip on her hand. It was reassuring, and comfortable, and when he released her again she felt suddenly very vulnerable.

But Thorin was smiling at her, now. A real smile, not a fake one.

 **« Thank you. »** he said gently.

He got up, and walked slowly away, limping on his wounded leg.

Instinctively, without even thinking, Laurelin grabbed his hand before he was out of her reach. Her long slender fingers curled up around Thorin's, to keep him from walking away. The Prince of the Dwarves stiffened in surprise, but he didn't remove his hand, though. He looked at Laurelin for a few seconds, then he eased off and gave her time to speak he was startled by this unexpected reaction of hers, but definitely curious to hear what she had to say.

 **« Please... Don't run away from me. »** she pleaded in a very soft voice, sounding almost like a mother trying to soothe a distressed child. **« Talk to me, Prince Thorin. Don't keep all these things inside, or they will eat you up like poison. They will turn you mad. Stay here with me, and talk to me. Share your burden. Please... »** This time she was able to look him in the face. There was nothing but kindness and sympathy in her eyes. For a moment she seemed to lose all countenance she started fidgeting nervously and looked away, and then she got her emotions under control again. She stared at Thorin once more. **« My mother... She always encouraged me to talk about it, when something was bothering me... I remember, when I was little and when I was having nightmares, she always sat next to me on the bed and made me tell her everything... She said talking about it was the only way to make them go away. »**

Her voice was hesitant – it was the first time she was talking about something so personal with Thorin – but she was determined to go to the end of this discussion. For Thorin's sake. She was ready to hear him out, and to give him all the compassion he needed to recover from this trauma.

Thorin hesitated. He had hidden everything behind thick walls made of pretense and fake courage everything that had happened during the battle, every pain, every grief, he had just pushed it all away and locked it into a remote corner of his mind. It was still hurting him there, hurting him from the inside every minute of every hour of every day – but at least he could _pretend_ he wasn't affected. A prince could not be seen as weak by his people, or else they would lose all faith in him. And it was even more true for the King he had now become ; he was Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of Durin's folk, the one they would all follow, and he had to be strong enough to keep them all going, even when they felt they could not go any further. He had to be the one whose determination would never falter. The facade he had so meticulously built to hide his fears and anguish was strong, like the impanetrable ramparts of a castle, yet somehow his walls started to crack as he looked into Laurelin's soft, pleading eyes. Something about her made his heart melt. The prospect of telling her what was gnawing at him was tempting, but also frightening he knew that if he lowered his walls, even if only a bit, everything would pour out of him like a river of pain and suffering... Everything he had so carefully hidden would lay bare in front of her, and then she would see... well, she would see into the core of Thorin's soul. Never before had he allowed anyone to be so close to him – not his grand-father, not his father, not even Frerin.

He looked at Laurelin – sweet, soft and loyal Laurelin, always so willing to help...

Would it really be so bad if she knew ?

As Thorin's silence lingered, the young maid insisted :

 **« I have seen death, you know. »** she said gently, in a whisper. **« The day Smaug came to take Erebor from us, I have seen more death than I could stomach. I still remember every detail as clearly as if had happened yesterday. The screams... The smoke... The smell of... of burned flesh as our fellow Dwarves burned alive in the dragon's fire... »** She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued. **« I saw my parents die. I can understand... I've been through it, too, Prince Thorin. I know how it feels when all the people you love are suddenly gone, and it feels like somebody ripped out your own heart because the pain... the pain is... »**

She couldn't say any more. Her throat was too tight. Talking about this had awakened her own grief, making old wounds bleed again.

Thorin sighed deeply. He realized their fingers were still entwined. He felt a rush of genuine warmth and gratitude.

 **« I'm sorry for you loss, and I am even more sorry you had to relive it again because of me. »** he said. He gave Laurelin's hand a comforting squeeze, cursing himself for having made her talk about these things. _Why is it always so hard to forget the horrors of the past ? Why do the bad memories always come back to haunt us, even so many years later ? Whay can't they leave us in peace ? What do we have to do te get rid of them ?_

 __ **« I am all right... »** she said, then she paused. **« I know how hard it must be for you, after you've been through, but** **you are alive, Prince Thorin, and you are not alone. »** Laurelin continued. Somehow, she had managed to put aside her grief, and was now gaining confidence with each word. **« And we need you. We would be lost without you to lead us. »**

 **« How am I supposed to lead the Dwarves, when I do not even know what to do with myself ? »** he aksed, a bit sharply, but this time Laurelin understood his anger was directed at himself, and only himself.

 **« Master Balin told me what happened during the battle... »** she said. **« He told me everything... How you fought Azog, with nothing but an old branch to shield yourself against his blows... Balin's voice was filled with awe as he told me about your courage and your fortitude. He said he had never seen another Dwarf as brave as you are. He has faith in you, and so do I – and now more than ever. »**

 **« How can you have faith in a loser ? I brought my people no glory, not even a true victory. I brought them nothing. »**

 **« You were not alone in taking that decision... »** she reminded him gently. Actually, according to the Lady Dis, Thror had been the first to suggest the idea of reconquering the Moria. Thorin had only followed his grand-father.

 **« But all the others are gone, so all the guilt goes to me. »** Thorin replied. He wasn't whining or complaining about it, like a lesser Dwarf would have done – he was simply stating the hard and unpleasant truth.

 **« You still have a choice, Prince Thorin. Either you can let the bitterness eat you up, and then you will truly be a loser ; or you can choose to learn from your mistakes, to become a better King than your ancestors used to be.** **Stronger, harder, tougher – but also wiser. »** She was flustered now she was not exactly sure whether a serving girl was allowed to talk like that to her master, and she feared she was overstepping Thorin's authority, but his hand in hers gave her a courage she had never expected to find within herself.

 **« When I was young, my grand-father used to talk to me about the glory of Erebor, and how it would all be mine some some day, when I would be old and wise enough. »** Thorin said, his voice so low it was barely audible. **« But now... Look at us now, Laurelin... »** He put his second hand over hers, as if he could draw strengths from her touch. She blushed, but her thumb brushed Thorin's very softly. If he needed comfort, she would not refuse him this small kindness.

 **« They are all dead, now... My grand-father, the mightiest Dwarf I have ever met, lies cold and still at the bottom of a dark tomb... My father has vanished from the surface of the earth, and we can only imagine what terrifying fate awaits him now that he is lost and far from his kin... Even Frerin is dead... My little brother... »** A bitter-sweet smile stretched Thorin's lips. **« I still remember him when he was a little boy. He always wanted to use my own weapons, when we sparred on the training grounds, even though they were too heavy for him. He always wanted to prove he was as good as me. He was so silly. We all knew his valor. He was the only one who could not see his own worth, and now he's dead, and he will never... »** The words died in Thorin's throat. It took him a few moments before he could talk again. **« He was my little brother. I was supposed to protect him. To keep him from harm. But then suddenly there were Orcs everywhere, and I lost sight of him, and next time I saw him he was lying on the ground with a dozen of black arrows piercing his body. »**

 **« He died honourably, with a sword in his hand, and I am sure he killed many Orcs before he was brought down. »** Laurelin said with conviction.

 **« Yes, he died honourably, and he had no reason to be ashamed when he joined our ancestors in the halls of Mahal. »** he said sadly, with a disheartened smile. **« But that doesn't make it any easier for those who are left behind. »**

She agreed. Then, Laurelin saw tears glistening in Thorin's eyes, but he didn't let them fall. Even now, he was still holding them back, trying to be strong and brave. Someone else might have overseen how distressed he really was, but Laurelin knew him well, by now, and nothing escaped her. It touched her, though, to hear him open up like that.

 **« They say I am a king, now... They all look up to me for guidance... They expect me to tell them what to do... Balin, Dwalin, my sister... Everybody is so sure I will do what is best for our folk... Even you, Laurelin... You look at me with such faith in your eyes, and you just told me you still believe in me – but don't you understand that I don't deserve it ? I've let the King die... I've let my little brother die... I've let all my fierce and faithful warriors die... Even my sister's husband will probably not make it, if what Oin says is true. The little ones will grow up fatherless, because I wasn't there to protect the man who loved them so much, as I should have done. They're all dead, and I am alive. »**

He spat the last word with anger and resentment, and only then did Laurelin truly understand how much Thorin blamed himself for everything that had happened, and how much this burden weighed on his shoulders.

 **« They call me a king, but no king had ever been more unworthy of this title. »** he continued. **« We... we're nothing but a bedraggled heap of survivors... The glorious future my grand-father used to talk about had turned to ash and dust. His dreams are as dead as he is now. And I don't know what to do, Laurelin. Where will we go ? How will we survive ? We cannot go on like this forever, living on the roads, begging for work in the towns of men, counting on the generosity of others to keep us alive – but what else can we do ? I am lost, Laurelin. Completely lost in the darkness. »**

Laurelin waited a few moments, to be sure he was finished, before she answered :

 **« We would all be dead already, if not for you, Prince Thorin. »** she said gently, then she corrected herself. **« King Thorin... »** she added, with respect and deference. **« With all due respect to your honourable family, it's not Thror, or even Thrain, who saved our people after Smaug's attack. It's you, and only you, my King. You did everything in your power to keep us all alive. »** Since Thorin's face was now expressionless, she hesitated. She was not sure whether she could keep talking or not. **« You... you don't have anything to prove anymore, since you already proved yourself so many times before... Each and every Dwarf here believed in you before, and believes in you even more, now, after they heard about your fearless battle against Azog. No one is more worthy than you to be called our King, »** she added humbly.

Thorin sighed deeply and watched their hands, that were still entwined. Both of them were reluctant to let go.

 **« And besides, if you hadn't killed the evil armies swarming from the Moria, they would probably have reached us here within days. »** she continued, her voice filled with terror at she tried to imagine this dreadful scene. **« The women, the children, the elderdly people... All those who can't fight... the Orcs would have slaughtered us all, just like they did with your warriors. We... we owe you our lives, once more, my King. »** She smiled sadly, and lowered her eyes. **« I just wish the price had not been so terrible for you... »**

Thorin nodded slowly, then he unwillingly released his grip on Laurelin's hand.

 **« Thank you for your kindness. »** he said with sincerity. **« Your words are soothing, and you, Laurelin – you are a blessing. »**

She blushed once more. After several days of enduring his bad mood, this was almost too much. She was still wondering if she had heard correctly, or if her ears had tricked her into hearing what she wanted to hear.

 **« Our world is vast, my King, isn't it ?»** she asked nervously, still flushed with emotion. **« There must be places where we haven't been yet, and where we might settle. I have heard some other women talk about the fertile lands in the west, while we were washing our laundry together at the river. They talked about mountains, too. The Blue Mountains, they called them. It would be a long journey to reach them, but... »**

Hope was shining in her eyes as she looked up at him. The prospect of having a home again, one day, was making her heart beat faster.

 _But will he listen to my suggestion ?_

 **« The Blue Mountains, yes... »** Thorin said, almost dreamily. **« Balin talked about them, too... And I'm starting to think you're both right. I wanted to stay here, close to Erebor, just in case... in the hope that one day we might have a chance to chase away the dragon... It was improbable, but not impossible... And I clung to that hope like a drowning man to a wooden plank... But maybe... »** He smiled at Laurelin. **« Maybe our future truly lies in the west, and not here in the east. »**

His smile widened, and Laurelin knew he was taking her seriously indeed.

 **« I need to leave you, for now. »** he continued. **« Even a wounded King had duties to attend to, and delaying them will not make them any easiers. Thank you, Laurelin. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. »**

 **« You're welcome. »** she replied, bowing deeply.

She watched him limp out of the bedroom, and heaved a deep sigh.

A week later, Thorin had more or less recovered from his wounds, and he had regained most of his autonomy. He could go about his daily activities without need of somebody at his side all the time, which was a great relief. He had visited poor Dis, whose husband had joined the halls of Mahal a few days ago, after a long and hopeless battle against the fever born from his festering wounds. Dis was devastated, of course, but she was also strong and Thorin knew she would survive her grief, if only for the sake of her two boys, who needed her more than evern now.

The day was warm and pleasant, and he had a few hours of freedom ahead, so he decided to pay Laurelin a visit. He had barely seen her, since their long talk, for she had been very busy with her sick grand-mother Thorin had missed her, but he could also understand the old woman needed her more than himself, right now. It was only natural the Laurelin stayed at her side. He reached the small house where the two women lived it was small, with walls made of wooden planks, and no glass panels in the windows. The garden he saw behind the house, though, was neat and well-kept, with not a single weed sprouting from the earth. He knocked at the door and announced himself, expecting to see Laurelin open the door, but obvisously she wasn't home.

 **« Enter, please. »** The voice of the grand-mother was weak and weary.

Thorin did as she told him, and entered into a small and dark living room smelling of smoke and drying herbs. At first, Thorin didn't see the grand-mother, then he spotted her on a straw mattress, near the fire. She was buried under so many layers of furs and blankets that she was almost invisible. She looked old and tired, and it was obvious she would not last any longer than a few days – yet her eyes were still sharp, as well as her mind. _That must be terrible,_ Thorin reflected. A clear mind in a broken body. She knows she is dying, and there's nothing she can do about it. Just wait, and wait, and wait.

 **« It is an honour to welcome you in our humble home. »** she said with a weak smile, revealing a dark hole where her teeth should have been.

He talked with her for a few moments, and he told her how much he appreciated Laurelin.

 **« So you are satisfied by her work ? »** she asked in a trembling voice.

 **« Completely. You can be proud of her. »**

 **« I am... »** she replied tenderly, then she paused to recover her breath. Even the simple act of uttering a few words was draining her. **« I wish I could have lived long enough to see her marry, and to meet her children, but the gods have decided otherwise. Several men came to talk to me about her, but Laurelin didn't show interest in any of them. »** Another pause. **« But someday, I know she will find someone she truly wants to share her life with. My King, I know I am in no position to ask anything from you, but she has great respect and admiration for you. She will listen to you. When the day comes for her to choose a mate, I'd like for you to make sure he is worthy of her... »**

 **« I will. »** he promised her without a single second of hesitation, even though he didn't like the idea of Laurelin finding a husband. He really appreciated her presence and her good work, and his own life would be very empty without her. The very idea of a man putting his hands on her was making him uncomfortable – probably because of the ugly things those two brutes had done to her, so many years ago. He wanted to keep her safe under his wing, to protect her like he hadn't been able to protect those who had followed him into battle. If something happened to Laurelin, it would be unbearable for him ; not only because she was – as his servant – under his protection, but also because she had taken a very special place in his life, over the years. He couldn't even imagine his life without her standing at his side, quiet and discreet yet always present, always ready to help and to serve. He cared for her like he cared for no one else, except maybe Dis and her children.

Barely a few moments later, he heard Laurelin's light footsteps as she entered the house. She startled as she saw him.

 **« King Thorin, is there something wrong ? »** she asked, looking worried. **« Do you have need of me ? »**

 **« No, nothing's wrong, Laurelin. »** he said gently.

 **« So... Why are you here ? »** She realized the question may sound a bit rude, but she was so surprised by this unexpected visit that she didn't really know what else to say.

 **« I spent the morning among bickering Dwarves. I've heard more than enough shouts and curses. I'm tired, and I long for your quiet and comforting presence – if you have time for me, of course. »**

She blushed deeply, but at the same time she couldnt help but smile. The fact that Thorin was searching her out after a hard day was a wonderful compliment it was the proof that she really meant something, to him.

 **« I always have time for you. »** she said. **« But aren't there other people more worthy of your time and attention ? »**

Thorin smiled at her.

 **« There's no one more worthy of my time and attention than the person who stayed at my side day and night when I was wounded. »** he said. **« Even when I was angry and unpleasant and treating you so horribly, you still decided to stay with me. It shows how loyal, kind and reliable you are. I know I can really trust you, which is not something I can say about most other Dwarves. »**

Laurelin was more and more surprised.

 **« But... your sister... »**

Thorin chuckled softly.

 **« When I left her a few moments ago, she was busy running after her eldest son after he almost burned down the house, and I can assure you that I have no desire to help her catching the little brat. »** Actually, Fìli was still too young to understand what death truly meant, and he hadn't realized yet that he would never see his beloved father again. The mourning candles Dis had lit to honour her deceased husband had been no more, to the boy, than a new toy to play with while his mother was busy elsewhere. It made Thorin sad to think about Boraìn and Dis and Fìli, so he tried to push them out of his mind. Which brought him back to Laurelin. **« I would... Well, spending the rest of the afternoon in company of a friend seems like a good idea to me. »** he said at last.

 **« A friend ? »** she asked, wondering who he was talking about, then her eyes opened as wide as plates when she understood he was talking about her. She turned very red, and felt her cheeks grow so hot she could have baked an egg on them. _Me ? He wants to spend the afternoon with me, as a friend ?_ Laurelin suddenly felt all giddy. She could hardly believe Thorin had just said those words to her. _Maybe I should pinch my arm, to wake up from this dream ?_ **« Of... of course, if such is your desire, my King, but... I have to weed the garden, and … and... »**

 **« The garden looks clean enough, to me. »** Thorin said, pointing at the small window that offered them a view on the aforesaid garden. Then he smiled at Laurelin once more. **« Forget about your work, if only for a few hours. Rest and enjoy yourself, for a change. No one deserves it more than you. »**

 **« I can't... »** she said stubbornly. There were other tasks to carry out – water to fetch at the well, and socks to mend, and medical herbs to dry, and preparing the bread for next morning, and so many other things that she suddenly felt overwhelmed.

 **« Go, Sweetie. »** her grand-mother said weakly, and the corners of her thin lips stretched into a tenuous smile.

Laurelin opened her mouth to say something, then suddenly she realized she didn't care about laundry or herbs anymore. _This is not just some random man who wants to spend time with me. It's Thorin Oakenshield in person. Our King._

And a maid can't refuse her King, can she ?

She kissed her beloved grand-mother.

She smiled back at Thorin, and they spent the rest of the day talking about stupid, silly or boring things that made them forget about the chaos their lives had turned into. They had never talked like that before, during those thirty years they had spent at each other's side, and by the time Laurelin left him to go back to her grand-mother, he felt better than he had since his return from battle. _And if I judge by the smile on Laurelin's lips, or the sparkle in her eyes, the same goes for her, as well._ Thorin thought.

It was a new start for both of them.


	6. FIRST SIGHT OF THE BLUE MOUNTAINS

They reached the ruined village an hour before the mid-day, as the sun was high in the blue sky. Long ago, it had been built by the humans, but they had deserted it when the mines – its main source of income – had caved in. It had been several decades ago, if not a century ; the abandoned houses were now starting to collapse and break down, and the roads were covered by tall grasses and thorny bushes. It was surrounded by mountain grasslands and high cliffs of grey stone, and in the far distance they could glimpse giant mountains topped with permanent snow. The entry of the mines had been barred with ropes and wooden beams, but they had started to rot and would easily be removed, if the Dwarves decided to start exploiting the mines again. Copper and iron was not as good as gold or jewels, as in Erebor, but it was better than nothing and if they were lucky it would be enough to earn them a decent life.

Thorin soon found the old smithy, and was pleased to see that its walls were still standing strong. This would be a good place to live, he reflected as he opened the old wooden door. It creaked on its rusty hinges. Each of his steps was sending up thick clouds of dust, and the air smelled stuffy, yet Thorin felt a shiver of excitement run down his back as he imagined himself working here, not as a mere blacksmith who busied himself with nails and horseshoes, but as a real master-armorer, like his father before him. It wasn't an easy trade to craft good weapons ; it required patience and precision and meticulousness, as well as hard physical work, but it was also better paid than nails and horseshoes. He would forge swords and axes and spearheads, and later sell them to the humans living down there in the valley.

He made a few more steps, and tripped over a block of stone. The wall that separated the smithy from the living quarters had collapsed. Repairing everything would not be easy, of course. They would need materials and equipment, and time. A lot of time.

 _But we are a hardy folk, and we can make it if we have to._

He kicked away a piece of rotten wood, then he heard soft footsteps behind him. Even before he turned around, he recognized Laurelin ; after so many years spent in her company, he knew her gait by heart and he would have recognized her anywhere. Her dress was covered in dust, and she had spiderwebs in her hair.

 **« Did you find a comfortable place for your grand-mother ? »** He asked her.

No one would have expected the old woman to last so long. Every day during the journey to the Blue Mountains, the healers had said she would not survive another day, or another night, and every time she had proved them wrong by staying alive in spite of the sickness that devoured her from the inside. Her used and weary body refused to let go. She clung to life with surprising vigor.

 **« Begnar and Kuraìn helped me to get her down from the cart. »** she replied, a worried look on her face. **« We put her in a small house near the well. The roof is still good enough to provide shadow, since she can't take the sun anymore. And it may turn into a nice house for both of us, if we decide to settle here. And there's a garden, too. And several plum trees... »**

Thorin smiled. He knew how much Laurelin loved eating sweet, juicy summer plums whenever she had the chance.

 **« Good, but... shouldn't you stay at her side ? She has more need of your company than me, hasn't she ? »** he asked, worried.

 **« She's asleep. There's nothing more I can do for her, right now, except praying and hoping for a better future. »**

Thorin took a step towards her. She was distressed and worried, and it was obvious she was barely just holding out. He almost hugged her, as he would have done with Dis if he had seen her so upset, but he didn't know how Laurelin would react. So he just looked intently at her, hoping she would understand how much he cared for her.

 **« I am sorry life is so hard for you. »** he said softly. **« You have endured many harsdships and terrible blows, these last years, and shed more tears than anyone should be allowed to shed. If there is anything I can do to make it a little bit less hard, just tell me and I will do my best to help you. »** She nodded, but Thorin doubted she truly believed him. _I hope she doesn't think I'm only saying this out of politeness. I hope she will truly reach out for me if things get too hard._

 **« A forge. »** she said suddenly, to change the subject. Talking about her grand-mother always left her sad and dejected, and right now she needed to think about something less depressing. **« You mean to live here ? »**

 **« Yes, I suppose I will. It's not much, compared to the mighty forges of Erebor, but at least it will be mine. »**

 **« Everything is so old... How long has this town been like that ? »**

 **« Almost a hundred years, if the humans in the valley are to be believed. »** Thorin answered. **« Long enough, at least, for small tress to grow in the most unexpected places. »** They had encountered a small birch tree with a trunk as thick as a grown man's forearm, growing on top of a roof, and a smaller one growing in a rusty hearth.

 **« You think we can make this place alive again ? »** she asked wearily.

The journey to the Blue Mountains had been exhausting. They had crossed rivers and mountains, and they had suffered and endless winter followed by a wet, murky spring. Laurelin had barely slept more than a few hours each night between her duties to Thorin and caring for her grand-mother, she didn't have much time to rest. Underfed and neglected, her body had suffered during this umpteenth wandering. She had lost weight, and the skin of her face and arms had turned red and dry from being exposed too long to sun, wind and cold. Thorin had seen the changes, of course, and he greatly admired Laurelin's fortitude the first time he had seen her, shortly after the fall of Erebor, he had mistaken her for a frail and fragile little thing, a little dove whose wings would break at the first difficulty - but during the journey to the Blue Mountains she had proved time and time again that she was tougher than he had expected her to be.

 **« I don't know, but it's worth trying, don't you think ? »** he asked her, curious to hear her opinion about all this.

 **« Yes, it will be good to stop running. »** she admitted. **« I think we are all tired of travelling. We all need to see the end of this journey. »**

 **« I'm going to see what's upstairs. »** he told her. **« To check the roof, and try to find out what creatures are nesting up there. I heard their tiny footsteps over my head, earlier, while I was exloring the ground floor. Rats, I bet. Or maybe wild cats, or a marten. »**

Whatever it was, Thorin would have to get rid of them, one way or another.

 **« I'm going to fetch water at the river, for my grand-mother. »** Laurelin said, looking suspiciously at the ceiling. **« The well is dry and empty, but there's a small lake nearby. Do you want me to fill your flask, while I am there ? Harul said it's the purest and freshest water he's drank in his whole life. »**

 **« Well, it can't be worse than the river we have crossed yesterday, can it ? »** Thorin joked, as he remembered the yellowish stream springing out of the rocks. It had been stinking of sulfur, so disgusting that even the hardy mountain goats had refused to drink it. He unfastened the leather tie that bound the flask to his belt, and handed it to Laurelin. **« A bit of water would be very welcome indeed. Thank you, Laurelin. »**

She took the flask.

 **« Are you sure it is safe to climb up there ? »** she asked, looking warily at the staircase. It was made of wood, and some parts were rotten, while other parts were full of holes where the wood-eating insects had carved their galleries.

 **« Don't worry for me. »** he said confidently. **« I will be careful. »**

She watched as he climbed the five first steps, then she walked away, leaving Thorin alone. He reached the top of the stairs without any problem. Upstairs, he saw no living animals, but lots of dust everywhere, and mouse droppings on the floor, and moth eaten curtains. One of the windows was broken, allowing brambles and ivy to crawl inside the bedroom. Everything was very old and very sad. The people who used to live here had left in all haste, leaving behind most of their possessions. Thorin wondered what they would say if they saw the Dwarves settling into their houses. Would they be angry ? Would they call us thieves ? Or would they be happy to see that life was back between the deserted walls of the village ?

Thorin had no answers, so he just closed his eyes and prayed.

 _Let this be the first day of a glorious era for Durin's folk, please. Let it be the beginning of a better life for all of us._

Laurelin had barely left Thorin when she encountered Dis and her sons. She greeted the lady and bowed respectfully, and smiled at the little boys. Fili was running about, his long golden hair flying wildly around his face as he tried to catch butterflies. He had a strong, cheerful laughter, and every day he looked more like his father. He stopped running only long enough to greet Laurelin politely. The young maid greeted him back with a soft and gentle smile.

 **« Young Master Fili... »**

Then the young boy was off again, slashing at invisible Orcs with an old stick.

Little Kili was still soft and chubby in his mother's arms. He smiled at Laurelin, showing his four baby teeth, then he burst into happy giggles as she stroked his cheeks with the tip of her fingers. Laurelin's smile broadened when she heard that wonderful sound, and her heart melted.

 **« They are both so cute and cheerful. »** she commented, as she watched them with fondness in her eyes. Since Laurelin was an only daughter, she never had to watch over younger siblings, and she had never been around young children, but she enjoyed being in their presence.

 **« One day you'll have children of your own, and then you will realize that they are in fact little monsters. »** the Lady Dis joked, as she tousled Kili's dark hair with a tender look on her face. **« They look like angels, but they are real little devils in disguise, aren't you ? »** Dis tickled her youngest son, till he screamed in delight.

Laurelin smiled again, but this time it was only just a polite smile, even a bit sad.

Fili, realizing that his little brother was getting more attention than him, stood between Laurelin and his mother.

 **« Look, I've killed the nasty Orc ! »** he bellowed, before hitting his own head with the stick. Laurelin saw him tear up, but even at his young age he was already too proud to cry in front of everybody. He sniffed once, twice, then he rubbed away his tears and acted as if nothing had happened, but his face remained sullen. Instinctively, Laurelin felt the urge to stroke his head or give him a comforting hug, but of course she refrained herself in spite of his young age, Fili was a member of the royal family – as well as Thorin's heir. Master Balin had told her that as long as Thorin would remain unwed and childless, Fili was on top of the line of succession.

He was a future king, and Laurelin no more than a servant.

 **« Fee ! »** Kili yelled in a shrill voice, wriggling in his mother's arms till she yielded and put him on the ground. He made a few awkward steps, then he tripped over his own feet and fell into Fili's open arms.

 **« I will be glad when they are a bit older. »** the Lady Dis confided Laurelin. **« They need constant attention, and it's exhausting to watch over them all the time... There are just so many things to do every day, so many chores, but I just can't concentrate on anything because I have to keep an eye on them, all the time... If I don't, it only takes them a few minutes to get into some mischief, or to put themsleves in danger. »**

She sighed wearily, and shook her head.

Laurelin offered her a sympathetic smile. She remembered that Dis was alone to raise her sons. She had lost her beloved husband, yet she had found the strength to keep going. And she still had to work, too, to earn enough money to feed her family, yet in spite of that Laurelin had never seen her cry, or whine, or ask for help. Laurelin greatly admired her for her courage and fortitude.

 **« If you need help with the boys, my Lady, I would be glad to help. »** Laurelin suggested, listening only to her heart and not to her reason, because in all honesty she did not know where she could possibly find the time to accomplish even more work.

 **« Oh, that's so nice of you, Laurelin, but I know how hard your life already is. »** Dis replied with a warm smile. **« Working for my brother and taking care of your grand-mother with such devotion is more than enough. Asking anything more of you would be cruel. And don't worry for me. I've learned to manage my household alone. »** she added, with a certain pride. Then she turned around, to her sons. **« Come on, boys ! Let's go and see what your Uncle Thorin is about ! »**

They both screamed enthusiastically, and Fili ran inside the forge like a lightning bolt. Kili tried to catch up with him on his chubby, clumsy legs, but he lost his balance and fell face-first onto the grass. Unhurt, he giggled and rolled himself in the high grass. Dis picked him up, and entered the forge with him.

Laurelin smiled at no one in particular, and while she knelt on the rocky shore of the lake to fill her goatskins – as well as Thorin's flask – her mind wandered over to a time in the future when she would have her own children. She tried to imagine what they would look like, and how she would love them more than anything else in the world... Boys or girls, it wouldn't matter. But then she remembered her own childhood, her own life, and her smile turned bitter. What could she possibly offer her children ? A life of hard work and servitude, as she – and her parents before her – had known ? Spending their lives in somebody else's service ? Never a quiet day to rest or to enjoy themselves ? She plunged the flask into the icy cold water, and saw goose-bumps cover her bare arms.

 _No,_ she reflected. In spite of her deep desire to bear children and to be a mother, she was wise enough to understand it wouldn't be a good idea.

 _I refuse to bring children into this world, only to see them suffer the same pains and hardships I have suffered._

When Thorin heard children laughing downstairs, he recognized his nephews at once, and he climbed down the stairs to greet them. Fili was prodding a big black spider with his stick, and Kili was wobbling on his tiny legs ; he had taken his first steps a few weeks ago, during the journey, and now he was using his newly acquired talent to explore the world around him. He was curious and afraid of nothing, and never tired of running after his big brother. Dis herself looked as exhausted as anybody, after this long journey, but Thorin thought she was looking better now than she ever had since her husband's death.

 **« A smithy. »** she said, smiling as she looked around. **« So, you'll take up Father's trade ? »**

 **« He was the best armourer of Erebor. »**

 **« And now you will be the best armourer of... »** She frowned. **« Well, what's the name of this place ? »**

Thorin shrugged.

 **« We have time to decide. It's not exactly the most urgent question. »**

Dis caught Kili just in time before he banged his head against the corner of a working bench. She lifted him up in her arms again he screamed and kicked to be put back on his feet, but he calmed down instantly when his mother frowned at him.

 **« All the others are pretty enthusiastic, too. »** she said.

 **« And you ? »**

 **« I can only agree with them. »** she answered. **« Having a place to call our own will be a relief, aftrer all these years of sharing lives with filthy and unsavory humans. »**

There was a short silence.

 **« This house is big. There are half a dozen of rooms upstairs. Enough for you and the boys, if you want to. »** Thorin already knew his sister would say no, but he still felt it was his duty as an elder brother to ask it. Dis straightened up ad if he had insulted her, and there was a sharp edge to her words when she replied :

 **« I can take of my own family. I do not need to depend on anyone for our living, Thorin. »**

He smiled at the look of wounded pride on her face, amused by her quick temper.

 **« Yes, little sister, I know you don't need anybody. »** he snorted, then he was suddenly serious again. **« But we are all that's left of our family, you and I - and your boys. We need to stick together. »**

Dis softened up.

 **« Of course we do. And I will always be there for you if you need me, just like you will always be there for me if I need it. But that doesn't mean we have to cling to each other like a barnacle to the hull of a ship, does it ? »**

They exchanged a smile of complicity.

 **« No, we don't have to cling to each other. »** Thorin admitted, relieved. They both had a strong temper, and they would have been bound to clash every now and then if they had shared the same roof.

 **« Besides, you have Laurelin at your side to take care of you. »** the Dwarf-woman added. Her smile tunred mischievous. **« Aren't you happy, now, that I made you hire her ? »**

 **« She's the most loyal servant anybody could hope to find. »** he responded, a bit annoyed, as usual when he had to admit his sister had been right about something. It tickled his pride.

 **« Of course she is.** » Dis mused, and her smile widened. There was definitely something impish in her voice, but Thorin didn't lose any time trying to understand what was going through her mind. Dis was a strange creature, after all.

But in truth, in spite of what Thorin had told his sister, his relationship with Laurelin was far more than just master and servant. She had become a true friend during the voyage, even if they had not spend much time together, whith Laurelin travelling at her grand-mother's side.

One of Thorin's fondest memories, during those endless months of wandering, was that one night when he had found Laurelin sitting apart from the main camp, all alone. Everybody else had been asleep already, but the young main had been watching the stars. There had been such melancholy on her soft, round face that Thorin had felt his heart melt. He had joined her under the stars. They had not talked much, that night, but they had both enjoyed each other's presence, and when they had left to sleep at last, Thorin had realized it had somehow brought them closer. Then, a few weeks later, as autumn had just turned into winter, Thorin had spotted Laurelin cuddling with his little bay pony. He had asked her if she wanted to ride him. First she had refused – most Dwarves went by foot or with giant goats, or maybe a pig or a big dog to pull the carts, but horses were a privilege – but Thorin had insisted and in the end Laurelin had accepted his offer. She had looked a bit ill at ease, during the first moments, but the pony she was feeding every day, as well as Thorin's reassuring presence at her side, leading the pony by the reins, had helped her to relax and to enjoy the experience. Thorin had been happy to see her smile, for once, as she talked to the pony in a childish voice, as if she were addressing a very small child. Thorin had noticed how pretty her smile was, and wondered with dread how long it would take for other men to notice it as well – it made her eyes sparkle as if somebody had lit a candle in them. And it had been good, too, to see her having fun. She had even laughed, that day – something that Thorin had not heard very often, during her years in his service. A sweet laughter, and after that Thorin had felt the urge to make her laugh again and again. The following days and weeks, he had sought her presence more and more often, because her laughter made him forget his own grief too.

Thorin smiled as he remembered it all, but Dis' worried look brought him back to reality.

 **« I can't see Fili anywhere. »** she said, annoyed. **« I bet he's gotten into trouble again, as usual. I swear to you, Thorin, these two will be the death of me. »**

 **« You love them, Dis. »** Thorin reminded her warmly.

 **« Yes, I do. »** she admitted, smiling adoringly at her youngest.

In truth, Thorin liked them well enough, too. Well, Kili was still a bit too small – Thorin was always afraid to hurt him, with his big rough hands – but Fili was starting to get very interesting. He was full of energy and enthusiasm, but also strong-willed like a true heir of Durin. Thorin had shared a few good moments with him, during the journey since the boy had no father, he now looked up at his uncle, and Thorin was proud to have a part in Fili's life. The bond they were sharing was growing stronger by the day.

Dis strode away to look for her son, with Kili still in her arms. Thorin was left alone. Dust was dancing gracefully in a ray of sunlight.

He closed his eyes, and tried to imagine what this place would look like once it would be restored. In his mind, it looked very appealing. He had never wanted something as badly as he wanted this now.

It's the home we've all been craving for, for so long !

When Laurelin walked back from the lake, carrying an armful of goatskins and flasks, she was hit by a blond tornado and almost dropped everything. She recognized Fili at once. His hair was messy, with twigs and dead leaves entangled in his braids, and his cheeks were red from running. His hands were covered in slimy brown mud, and Laurelin didn't even want to know where he had stuck them.

The boy's smile died when he realized he had almost knocked down his uncle's maid.

 **« Sorry. »** he muttered meekly, lowering his head.

 **« It doesn't matter, little scoundrel. »** she said with a smile, before chuckling at his stricken face. She softly ruffled his hair. **« Where's your mother ? »** she asked, looking around, but she saw the Lady Dis nowhere.

 **« With Uncle Thorin. »** Fili said in a small voice.

 **« And why did you not stay with her, then ? »** Laurelin asked him gently, kneeling to be at eye level with him. She had spoken softly, yet the boy had taken her words for a rebuke and tears filled his big blue eyes.

Laurelin smiled reassuringly at him, and stroked his cheek.

 **« Come with me, young Master Fili. »** she said. **« Your mother must be worried for you, don't you think ? Are we going to find her together, you and me ? »**

Fili nodded without a word, then he held out his hand. Laurelin grabbed it immediately, without caring for the mud on it.

The look on relief on Dis' face as she saw her son in safe hands was the proof that she had indeed benn very worried for him.

 **« By Mahal, Fili, what were you thinking ? Running of like that, without even a word ? Do you know how afraid I was ? »** she scolded him sternly. Then she softened up when she saw tears rolling down his cheeks. She sighed. **« It's all right, sweetheart. Don't cry, now. Don't cry. I was worried for you, little one. What if something bad had happened to you ? »** She kissed him on his wet cheek, then she gave him a long hug. While the child was crying in her shoulder, she looked up at Laurelin. **« Thank you. »** she said gratefully. **« I don't know how to thank you, Laurelin. »**

 **« You don't have to thank me. »** Laurelin replied, bowing respecfully. **« It's only natural. »**

 **« No, dear, I owe you. And I won't forget it. »**

She released her eldest son, and stood up again. Then she nodded at Laurelin, gave the maid one last smile, and walked away with her boys. Fili turned around and waved Laurelin good-bye, his eyes still red from crying.

Laurelin lifted her own hand, smiled warmly at him and, then she entered the forge.

Thorin was still upstairs.

 **« My King ? »** she called tentatively, looking up at the ceiling and wondering what creatures were lurking in the shadows upstairs. **« I am back with your flask, if you want to drink. I put it on the table. »**

A moment later, Thorin climbed down the stairs. They creaked under his weight, but they were obviously stronger than they looked.

 **« Thank you, Laurelin. »** he said, rubbing the dust from his face with his sleeve.

 **« Your nephew Fili is a lively little lad... »** she said, smiling.

 **« Yes, he is. »** Thorin chuckled. **« A bit too lively for Dis' taste, sometimes. Within a few years, he'll start learning to ride ponies, and to wield a sword. Once day he'll be a proud warrior, just like his father – and his mother. »**

 **« Will you teach him ? »**

 **« Yes, probably. And Dwalin, too. And maybe Glafur, too. »**

 **« I have to leave you, now. »** she said politely. **« I have to see if my grand-mother needs me. Call for me if you need me, my King, and if you don't, I will be back this evening to prepare dinner. »**

Thorin nodded slowly.

Laurelin bowed, and then she left the forge.


	7. MOURNING

When Laurelin woke up that morning, a week or so after their arrival in the village of the Blue Mountains, she sensed that something was wrong ; at first she didn't really understand what it was, then she understood what was missing and her heart filled with dread. Her grand-mother. Laurelin couldn't hear her grand-mother's heavy breathing in the bed next to hers. Everything was still and silent. Everything was cold.

 _No._ Laurelin reflected. _It can't be true. Not now. Not yet._

She opened her eyes, and stared at the lifeless shape under the blankets, next to her. She suddenly felt very cold, as if she was a corpse herself. Goose-bumps stood all over her arms. She wanted to get up, but her legs didn't obey her. So she closed her eyes again and waited. The horrible truth sank into her slowly. _She is dead, and now I am truly alone... They are gone... Everybody is gone... They left me here on my own... All of them... Just gone..._

When she had recovered some strengths at last, she tried to get up, just to fall on her knees as soon as she put some weight on her trembling legs. She crawled over to her grand-mother's bed, and cried on the old woman's chest. What would she do now ? How could she go on with her life, if there was no one at her side ?

She cried like she had never cried before, and when her tears ran dry at last, she had found some composure again. So her grand-mother was dead, but what exactly was she supposed to do, now ? She had never had to deal with such a situation before. She knew she would have to prepare the funeral ceremony, but she didn't even know where to begin. Being shy and rather reserved, she didn't have many friends, or many relations among her fellow Dwarves... And she didn't have much money, either... What little she had been able to put aside would probably not be enough, and what then ? She could not let her grand-mother here ! Of course not ! But how would she pay for a grave, with no money ? She kept repeating all these questions in her head, but no answer came to her.

 _Calm down !_ She ordered herself. _Do something. Keep your hands busy, it will help you clear your mind._

Slowly, with trembling hands, she washed her grand-mother's face, and braided her thin grey hair, like she had done so many times before while the old woman was sick – the only difference was that this time she lay still and cold. She wouldn't mutter and grumble. She wouldn't sigh. She wouldn't move her eyes to follow each of Laurelin's movements, and she wouldn't smile the faintest of all smiles at the end, when everything was done. The young maid almost cried again, but she managed to keep her tears under control. Very carefully, she removed her grand-mother's shapeless sleeping robe and put her into her best dress. It was worn, its colours faded, but it gave the old woman a decent look, almost dignified. When she was finished with the last button, she grabbed their most beautiful blanket and used it to cover her grand-mother's body.

 _That's one thing out of the way._ S _he_ reflected, feeling a bit calmer now.

She closed her eyes, and allowed a ray of sun that shone throught the broken window to warm her up. She was frozen to the marrow of her bones, as if she had just bathed in a winter lake. She was still shivering.

And then she realized how late it was. She had not prepared Thorin's breakfast, nor prepared warm water for him to wash. She lovingly kissed her grand-mother on the forehead.

 **« I promise you that I'll find a solution to give you a proper funeral. »** she said. **« No matter how many hours I will have to work, I will do it. For you. Because I love you, and I want you to rest in peace, grand-mother. »**

She all but ran to Thorin's forge. She was red-cheeks and panting by the time she arrived, and she apologized countless times for being so late.

 **« You don't have to ask forgiveness. »** Thorin told her kindly, when he saw her so distressed. **« I know your life is a daily struggle, and you have to take care of your sick grand-mother. You can be assured, Laurelin, that I will never blame you for putting her first. She's the only member of your family you have still left, and it's natural you stay at her side when she needs you. That's more important than any work you could be doing for me. »**

As Thorin uttered the word grand-mother, Laurelin felt a wave of despair and nausea wash over her, and needed all her strengths to keep a straight face in front of him. She thanked him for his kindness, and started her first chores. She did everything as usual – she prepared a hasty breakfast for Thorin and cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor, gathered Thorin's dirty clothes from the day before, and prepared the meal for midday. But her mind was elsewhere, and she lacked her usual cheerfulness. She was sullen and silent, her eyes empty. Thorin realized something was wrong with her, but when he asked her what was bothering her, she just replied everything was fine. She was still too shocked, too afflicted to talk about it to anyone. Besides, she didn't want to annoy him with her problems he probably had better to do with his time than listening to her complaints. And all the while, her mind was still trying to work out a solution for the funeral.

When the evening of this very long day came at last, it became too much for her. Moments ago she was still in control of her emotions, and then suddenly – as she cleaned the habitable parts of the forge before the night – something broke in her, like the breaking of a dam, leaving her utterly lost and panicked. She had reached the limit of what she could endure. She fell on her knees in the kitchen, and the old saucepan she had been holding in her hands fell on the floor, clanking loudly as it hits the uneven planking. She buried her face in her hands. Unable to hold back her sobs, she just cried on the floor, every tears as bitter and painful as an icy shard of steel in her heart. She didn't even care anymore if somebody could hear her. Nothing mattered anymore. The whole world had disappread around her, and nothing existed but the dark, bottomless pit of grief and despair in which she had fallen when she had realized her beloved grand-mother was dead.

Thorin was in the workshop at that moment, to take an inventory of all the old tools he had found among the rubble and wreckage of the ruined forge, and to check if some of them were still usable in spite of the rust. He startled when he heard the noise coming from the kitchen, and understood Laurelin was still there ; he had believed her to be home already, yet obviously she was still busy in the kitchen. She had been a bit odd all day long, silent and morose, but every time Thorin had asked her about it she had answered in a dull voice that everything was fine. Thorin had supposed she was tired and worried, quite simply, because of course she would have told him if something bad had happened in her life, wouldn't she ?

 _She has to go home, now, and to rest. She's done more than enough already._ Thorin thought.

He stepped over a pile of rotting wood, and walked into the kitchen. First he didn"t even see her, then suddenly he realized she was crouched on the floor, in a dark corner, with her face hidden in her hands. Her whole body was shaking as she sobbed. Thorin felt a pang of agony as he saw her like that – what happened ? Had somebody hurt her ? He felt ready to kill the one who had harmed her, truly kill him, with bare hands if need be.

Then he took a few steps that brought him closer to her, and saw that she didn't look wounded. Just distressed. Terribly, excruciatingly distressed. Her pain was so intense that it was painful to watch, even for a tough and hardened man like Thorin. He wanted to do something, but he wasn't sure whether he had anything to offer that could possibly soothe her.

 **« Laurelin ? »** he called out very softly, but she didn't hear him. Thorin called her again, louder this time.

She startled and let out a small cry. As she recognized Thorin, she apologized immediately for making such a shameful spectacle of herself, and for bothering him with her problems, but as she tried to regain some countenance she just broke into sobs once more.

 **« Shh, Laurelin... Calm down... »** he said very gently. **« What is wrong ? What happened ? Is there... did somebody hurt you? »**

Unable to answer, she just started crying even harder. She could barely breathe, even less talk, so Thorin just took her shaking hands in his own and stroked them gently, reassuringly. Then he decided to drop whatever formality was still left between them. He opened his arms and hugged her tight against his chest, and she didn't try to resist. She kept crying into his shoulder, unable to hold down her tears. Soon, Thorin's shirt was completely wet, but he didn't care. He felt her pain as if it was his own. She looked utterly heart-broken Thorin understood she was not just crying over a mere trifle, yet he didn't press her for answers as held her against him. He knew he would get them once she would have calmed down, so he just waited with his arms around her, doing his best to offer her the comfort she so desperately needed.

When her sobs calmed down at last, her eyes were red and puffy. She looked up at Thorin.

 **« It's... She... »** He voice was hoarse, barely more than a whisper. **« My grand-mother... »**

Thorin didn't need to hear any more to undestand.

 **« Oh Laurelin, I'm so sorry. »** he said. **« Please accept my most sincere apologies. »** Laurelin nodded, unable to say any more. Her fingers closed on Thorin's shirt in despair. **« Laurelin, this morning... when you were late... was it because of your grand-mother's death... Were you... When you came to me this morning, you already knew she had died ? Why didn't you tell me ? »** He realized his words may sound like a rebuke, so he softened up. **« Laurelin, for Mahal's sake ! »** he whispered softly, rubbing her back with one hand. **« You should have told me. Keeping something so horrible for yourself all day long must have been awful... »**

He couldn't believe she hadn't said a word about it, and he couldn't understand why.

Laurelin sniffed loudly.

 **« It's... it's just that... »** She hesitated. She was so distressed that she probablu didn't really knew why herself. **« T... talking about it would have made it real. »** she finally muttered. **« As long as I was the only one to know, I could just... I just push it out of my mind, and act as if nothing had happened... Ignore the truth and fool myself into believing she was still alive... »** She buried her face in Thorin's shoulder again. **« Once everybody will know about it... then it will be real. »** she repeated. **« I won't be able to pretend anymore... »**

 **« Denial will bring you only small comfort, Laurelin. »** he answered, still rubbing her back in slow circles. **« When... when you are faced with such unbearable pain, the only way to overcome it is to accept the truth, and confront it. »**

 **« I can't. »** she cried.

 **« You can. »** Thorin said confidently. **« It may sound hard, for now, and you may think you won't be able to survive your grief, but you are young and you are strong and you will eventually feel better again some day – with time. »**

They didn't move for a long time, and when Laurelin felt strong enough to get up at last, her legs were weak and trembling.

 **« Let me walk you home, please. »** Thorin suggested, stretching out his arm so that she could lean on it to steady herself, and Laurelin had neither the strength nor the courage, right now, to refuse his help.

The air was fresh outside, and Laurelin shivered. The moon was bright in the dark sky, casting a blafard light on Thorin and Laurelin as they walked together in the streets of the villlage. Soon, they reached Laurelin's small house. They entered together. Instinctively, without thinking, Laurelin walked over to her grand-mother's bed, and started crying again as he saw her still face.

Thorin joined her, and took her hand in his again.

 **« I... I knew it could happen any moment. »** she said in a weak voice. **« She was old and sick, but... but it's still... it's just... »**

 **« Expecting something to happen and seeing it happening for real are two very different things. »** Thorin said gently. **« Of course you're suffering. You loved her, and she loved you, and you will always miss her sorely. »**

 **« To her it was probably a relief. »** Laurelin continued. **« She was in pain... every day... and she hated being a burden for me... She never told me so, but I saw it in her eyes... Now she's free, and she will never suffer again, and I should be happy for her, but... »**

 **« Death is always hardest for those who are left behind. »** he said, squeezing her hand to comfort her.

She sighed, and nodded.

 **« Can... Can I ask you something ? »**

 **« You're welcome, Laurelin. »**

 **« I wish... I don't want to be alone, tonight... Particularly not in this house, with my dead grand-mother... and all the memories... I can't... It's too hard... »**

 **« My home is a poor one, for the moment, but you will always be welcome there. »** he assured her. **« Always, Laurelin. »**

He squeezed her hand one last time, then he let go.

Laurelin nodded, then she decided to open up and to ask him something that had been bothering her all day.

 **« Thorin, how... how much gold do you think I will need to pay for her funeral ? »** Then she realized she sounded as if she asked him to pay for it, and she hastily added : **« I do have some gold, and I don't ask for anything. But I just want to know what I will be able to afford her, exactly... »**

 **« Don't worry about this tonight. »** he said. **« Let's leave your grand-mother, for now. You need sleep. I think Dis has got some Carmely leaves left in her chest, so we'll just prepare you some tea and then you will be able to rest for a few hours. And tomorrow, I will be happy to go with you for the formalities regarding the funeral. I think it's better you are not alone – if you want my company, of course. I know some people need privacy. If this is your case, tell me and I will leave you to deal with this in your own way. »**

She hesitated for a long while before answering.

 **« I would greatly enjoy your presence at my aside. »** she said. **« Thank you, my King. It is very generous of you. »**

A few moments later, they walked back to the forge together. Thorin found a few blankets for Laurelin, and settled her as comfortably as possible in spite of the rudimentary living conditions. She thanked him politely, and gave him a warm smile.

Thorin walked out of the house and came back a few moments later, with a bunch of dried yellow leaves in hs hands. He insisted to prepare the tea himself, in spite of Laurelin's protestations, then he sat next to her and made her drink her tea to the very last drop. When the bowl was empty, Thorin made sure Laurelin was comfortable, and he stayed at her side till she fell asleep.

The last thing she saw before she closed her eyes was Thorin's caring face, and his blue eyes filled with compassion. Already half-asleep, she thanked him one last time in a feeble voice, then she closed her eyes and allower herself to drift into sleep.

Thorin pulled the blanket over her, and watched her sleep for a few moments. The tea would offer her the dreamless sleep she so badly needed already, her features looked relaxed, almost serene. She was breathing slowly and deeply.

 **« Good night, Laurelin. »** he whispered softly, before walking away to let her rest.

When Laurelin woke up, she realized she had slept the whole night ithout waking up once, thanks to Thorin's Carmely tea. At first, everything was a bit dizzy and confused in her head she couldn't believe that her grand-mother was truly dead, and that she had spent the night in Thorin's house. She didn't lose any time, though she got up and immediately started preparing Thorin's breakfast, but it was hard for her to concentrate on her tasks. She was already dreading what would follow, later that day day - preparing the funeral, adn then the funeral itself. Saying farewell to her grand-mother. Leaving behind the last member of her family. She felt her throat tighten up, and hot tears welled up in her eyes once more, but she still managed to finish off her tasks.

When Thorin came home, everything was ready for him, the food already waiting on the table.

 **« Good morning, Laurelin. »** he said, looking worriedly at her. **« Are you feeling better, this morning ? »**

She nodded bravely, but Thorin guessed she was only pretending.

 **« Good morning, my King. »** She forced a smile on her lips. **« At least I didn't bother you during the night. »** she added. **« Your tea was particularly effective. I slept like a baby all night, without waking up once. »**

Thorin put his hand on her shoulder, very gently.

 **« You never bother me. »** he said amiably. **« Yet I am glad to hear the tea allowed you to sleep, because you will need all your strengths. Today is going to be a difficult day. First we will have to go and see several people to talk about the funeral arrangements. DO you feel strong enough to do this, Laurelin ? »**

 **« If I don't do it, nobody will. »** she said, resigned.

 **« I will come with you, of course, as promised. I know how distressed one can be, after such a terrible loss, and how hard it is to take decisions. »**

 **« It is very generous of you, my King. »** she said once more. **« But your time is precious, especially now when there is so much work to repair the forge... »** She lowered her gaze and stared at her feet.

 **« My work can wait a day or two. »** Thorin reassured her. **« I don't think the forge will run away if I neglect her for a shot while. »**

 **« Thank you. »** she whispered gratefully, in a very shy voice **« You... you are very kind. »**

 **« It's only natural. »**

Thorin ate his breakfast, and insisted Laurelin ate too she wasn't hungry at all, and eating from the King's own table made her feel very uncomfortable – she had prepared this food for him, not for herself – but Thorin was too stubborn for Laurelin and in the end she gave in. She sat down at the table, and forced a slic of bread down her throat, as well as a tiny piece of hard cheese and a gulp of goat milk.

When she was finished, Thorin told her to leave the dishwashing, for now. She hated leaving the house so messy, but here again he insisted.

They spent the morning and a good part of the afternoon talking to different Dwarves first the stonemason, a short and gruff Dwarf with a bulky nose, who told them – with genuine sympathy – that it was impossible for him to build a coffin. He had no material, and he had sold his tools during the trip, to buy food and more vital items. Then they went to Margaela's house – if the ruin she lived in could truly be called a house – and found an arrangement with her for a few coppers, she agreed to anoint the deceased's body with the traditional scented oils, and say the ritual prayers that would help the old woman's soul to reach Mahal's Halls, where she would meet her creator. After this, they still had to visit several other Dwarves – who would have guessed a funeral involved so many persons ? But Laurelin was so ill at ease that she barely opened her mouth. She knew it was her grand-mother they were talking about, yet all she could do was standing at Thorin's side and listening to what he was saying. It all sounded so unreal, as if she were in the middle of some horrible nightmare. And when they were done at last with the dreadful task of preparing the funeral, she had already forgotten most of what they had been talking about, as if her mind was unable to keep any information. She hated herself for being so weak, and she was sure that Thorin – who had just spent the morning helping her more than was reasonable – now saw her as a complete moron,

When they were back at the forge, Laurelin burst into sobs once more when she saw her empty purse she had parted with every coin she had saved, to the last copper. And it had been barely sufficient for a small, very humble funeral. Nothing grandiose, nothing remarkable. The brave old woman would, have deserved so much more.

Thorin took the purse out of Laurelin's shaking hands, and put it aside.

 **« It's not the amount of gold you spent for her funeral that matters, »** he said comfortingly. **« What really counts is the love you have given her, every day of her life. This is what** **everybody will remember, and – more importantly – that's what** ** _she_** **remembered when she closed her eyes for the last time : your love, and your devotion, and the tenderness in your eyes every time you looked at her. »**

She nodded meekly.

When the afternoon turned into evening, they went to her own house. She exchanged a few words with Margaela, then both the woman and Thorin left to give Laurelin some privacy while she said farewell to her grand-mother. The young maid opened the small wooden chest where her grand-mother used to store her small possessions, and found her wedding ring her fingers had swollen during the last years so the old woman had removed it, but Laurelin decided she would be buried with it, as an homage to the love she had shared with her late husband. She placed the ring into her grand-mother's stiff hands, and it's only when a tear splattered on her cold skin that Laurelin realized she was crying again.

 **« I will always love you. »** she whispered, stroking her grand-mother's hair. Laurelin had braided it the day before, but Margaela had adorned it with rune-covered stones. **« I am so sorry, my dear grand-mother... So sorry for everything you had to endure, these last years... You would have deserved a quiet end, but... »** She kissed her grand-mother on the forehead. **« You will never be forgotten. You will be in my heart every day of my life, to my very last breath. »**

She fell on her knees, and let the tears flow.

 _She is with my parents, now. And with her beloved husband. They are all reunited now, and never again will she wake up in the middle of the night because the pain had become unbearable. Her spirit is free, now._

An hour later, when she had regained some countenance, she went through her grand-mother's belongings. There was not much her knitting needles, a collection of tiny coloured rocks, and a faded ribbon that used to belong to her daughter, Laurelin's mother. The young maid smiled as she pictured her mother as a sweet, innocent and carefree little girl with ribbons in her dark hair and a broad smile on her round face.

 **« You must have loved her so much, to keep this ribbon during all these years... »** she whispered in a broken voice.

She couldn't even imagine how much the old woman had suffered when she had seen that same daughter burn in Smaug's fire.

 _Don't think about this now,_ she chided herself. _It will only make everything worse._

And she found the necklace, too. The only valuable family heritage her grand-mother could pass on to her. She pulled it out of the chest, and pressed it against her heart before binding it around her neck.

It was at this moment that Thorin knocked at the door, and entered.

 **« Laurelin, is everything all right ? »** he asked. **« You've been alone in here for a very long time. I was worried. »**

She smiled softly at him, and aplogogized for making him wait so long, then she explained how badly she had needed this time alone with her grand-mother. She showed him the necklace, too, and told him it had been in her family for several hundreds of years, going from one generation to the next. It was very simple, just a small golden chain with a bird-shaped pendant of shining black onyx, but Laurelin was very proud of it as she showed it to her king.

 **« It's very beautiful. »** Thorin said, yet Laurelin doubted his words. He was raised as a prince, with unlimited access to the gold-filled halls of Erebor. Laurelin's necklace was no more than a bauble, comparing to the glittering jewels that used to belong to the royla family of Erebor.

 **« I suppose it's not much, to your eyes. »** she said humbly. **« But for me... It is worth more than all the gold in Erebor. »** A sweet smile stretched her lips. She wanted him to know how much she loved her family, and how proud she was of her roots. She didn't need much more than that to be truly happy.

Thorin stretched out his hand to touch the black bird with the tip of his big fingers. Laurelin blushed shyly.

 **« Some of the miners believe that the onyx protects against negative thoughts. »** he told her, smiling. **« They say it will help its bearer to keep the sadness or anger at bay, and to concentrate on happier feelings. »**

Laurelin smiled and slipped the pendant under her robes, where it rested against her chest, right over her heart. It made her feel a bit better, a bit stronger, as if she kept a small part of her grand-mother's spirit with her by wearing the necklace. She stroked the old woman's cheek one last time, and breathed in the small of the sacred oils.

 **« Farewell. »** she whispered.

Thorin offered her his arm, and she gladly took it to steady herself as they walked together to the small cave where she would be buried it was no more than a narrow crevice in the stone, not far from the village, but since the gound was too hard to dig without the appropriate tools – which they didn't have – it would have to do. As soon as they had arrived, though, Laurelin let go of Thorin's arm before anybody else could come and see them like that she didn't want to shame him or to make him look ridiculous in front on any of his subjects. They waited oustide, side by side but with a respectable distance between them, as the sun slowly disappeared between two snow-covered peaks. Soon they were joined by Dis, who hugged Laurelin with sympathy as she offered her condolences. Laurelin thanked her heartily for taking the time to come she was so touched to see both members of the royal family standing at her side that she had tears in her eyes. It meant so much, to her. A few other people gathered slowly around them, as well some were merely curious, but others used to be acquaintances of hergrand-mother. Laurelin greeted and thanked everybody as they came, but she couldn't bring herself to smile.

A few moments later, Margaela joined them, followed by six sturdy Dwarves who carried the makeshift pallet on which her grand-mother's body had been placed. She had been wrapped in a thick white shroud.

They carried the pallet into the small cave the entrance was very narrow, but after a few steps it grew large enough for everybody to gather inside. The six Dwarves put the pallet on the ground, in the middle of the cave. Then it was Margaela's turn to enter, followed by a chorus of young children who sang the sacred songs of the gods. They were clad in white, and their hair hung freely around their faces as their clear and soft voices echoed between the walls of the cave.

 _They sound like angels,_ Laurelin reflected, her eyes filling with tears again. She couldn't remember paying for a chorus – had she not refused Maegeala when the woman had made this suggestion ? – so she looked up at Thorin, puzzled.

 **« I wanted to make her this honour. »** he said simply, with a caring smile.

Laurelin was far too touched by this attention to answer she opened her mouth to say something, but the words refused to come out of her tight throat, so she just looked him straight into the eyes, with an intensity she had never felt before. She hoped it would be enough to convey all the gratitude she was feeling.

Thorin smiled at her – such a soft, caring smile that Laurelin suddenly felt a bit less cold, as if somebody had just wrapped her in a warm blanket.

Then she nodded slowly, her emotion so strong it was palpable.

When the voices of the children died down, Margaela said the traditional prayers, in a loud and beautiful voice. Laurelin listened to her words with reverence, her eyes riveted to her grand-mother's still shape. Thorin was still standing at her side as tears ran silently down her soft, beardless cheeks he was ready to help her if need be, but he didn't want to intrude either. Saying goodbye to a beloved one was a very personal, very intimate moment, and he didn't want to ruin everything with a misplaced word or an awkward action. He knew that for Laurelin, this burial would be an essential part in recovering from her grand-mother's death.

When Margaela was finished, everybody walked slowly out of the small cave. Laurelin looked up at Thorin, and he understood the young woman needed one last moment alone with her grand-mother. She waited till everybody was gone, then she knelt next to the body to say a few prayers of her own. It didn't take her very long, and then she felt ready to leave her grand-mother alone – for the very last time.

 **« One day, we'll see each other again, »** she whispered, as she got on her feet again.

The she walked out, very slowly, wiping away her tears with the sleeves of her dress. Night had fallen, outside. She startled when she saw Thorin waiting for her, no more than a dark silhouette in the velvety summer night she had expected him to go home, like all the others, but instead he had chosen to stay. His concern touched her so much that new tears came to her eyes. She tried to thank him, but once more her emotions were too strong and she couldn't say a single word, just look at him gratefully.

Thorin nodded and smiled gently.

The six Dwarves who had carried the body started to close the narrow opening of the cave with roughly shaped rocks and mortar, in the light of a dozen flickering torches.

Laurelin and Thorin walked back to the village together. Laurelin's hand was on Thorin's arm once more, because her legs were still a bit too weak to carry her. They walked slowly and it took them long to reach the first houses, yet Laurelin enjoyed the physical activity, after such a long hard day the air was fresh, and the scent of the blossoming mountain flowers filled the air. It was very pleasant. It made her feel alive, and truly clear-minded for the first time since the moment she had found her grand-mother dead in her bed. Most of the flowers growing here were different from those growing around Erebor, but Laurelin found a few familiar species that brought back happy memories of the past, when she still had a family – like the day her mother had made her a crown of wildflowers, when Laurelin had been no more than a pretty, laughing little girl. Thorin's comforting and reassuring presence at her side seemed to keep the sad memories at bay, at least for now.

They went past the first houses, and walked along several overgrown streets, then they reached Laurelin's home.

 **« No need for you to come working, tomorrow. »** he told her. **« I supposed you are exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Take a day or two to rest, and to recover from everything that happened, all right ? »**

 **« I am exhausted. »** she admitted. **« But staying home all day, alone, with nothing to do but to think about my grand-mother, will not bring me any relief. It will just make everything worse. I need... I need something to distract my mind. I need activities. »**

 **« I can understand that. »** he said sympathetically. **« If this is what you want – or need – then I will be glad to see you tomorrow. »**

She nodded.

 **« It's hard, but in a certain way it's a relief. »** she said suddenly, without knowing why exactly she told him this. **« I... I've been dreading this moment for so long... Day after day, month after month, for so many years, I lived with the fear of losing her... It was like a dark cloud hanging over my head, an ordeal I knew I would inevitably have to suffer some day... Now, at least, it's over. »** She had talked in a shy and hesitant voice. She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued. She had talked in a shy and hesitant voice. She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued, looking Thorin straight into the eyes. **« Thank you, my King. Thank you for everything. »**

She remembered everything he had done today his caring voice, the sympathy in his blue eyes, the way he had stayed at her side all day, all his small attentions for her and her grand-mother... inluding the chorus of children, that he had bought with his own gold. All of this this was more precious to Laurelin that any gold or treasure...

 **« You remember after the battle of the Moria, when we all came home wounded and dejected ? You remember how hard it was for me ? And you remember what you told me ? You told me about what your mother used to say to you, when you were little. »**

 **« Yes, I remember. »** she said softly.

 **« That day, Laurelin, your words were a balm to my sore heart, and talking to you helped me to feel better. »** Thorin continued. **«You have no idea how much I am grateful for all you did for me, not only on this day, but every day since I have hired you, so long ago. And now, today, you are the one in pain, and I hope I will be able to do for you what you did for me. I want my words to soothe your pain, and I want to be the friend you were for me. »** He smiled at her. **« So now let me tell you something my own mother used to tell me, when I was younger :** _Your grief clouds your vision right now, and you may think that the world is all grey and sad, and you may think it will remained so forever – but it will get better, some day. The dark clouds will vanish, and you will see the sun again, and it will shine even brighter than it did before._ **And she was right, Laurelin. Right now you can't think about something else than your grand-mother's dead, and it'so only natural since it's so recent. But slowly, day after day, time will wash away your pain. It will wash away the dark clouds. »** He paused, and put his hand on Laurelin's shoulder. **« Today you have cried a lot. Tomorrow you may still cry, but not as often as today. And the day after, you will cry even less, and so on, till one day you will realized, as you go to bed, that you didn't cry at all. You will start smiling again, Laurelin. You won't recover in one day, not even in ten days, but you are young and strong and you will recover, I can assure you that. And in the meanwhile, I will be here, at your side, to offer you my arm and my comfort as often as you need it. You are not alone in this world, and you will never be. »**

A single tear clung to Laurelin's thick lashes, before running down her cheek, but it was not a tear of sadness. Just emotion. She had listened to each and every one of his words with rapt attention, and they had definitely striked a chord. She wanted to believe him. She needed to believe him, to believe in the hope he had wakened in her with his words.

 **« Thank you. »** she said sofly, looking him into the eyes. A smile blossomed on her soft lips. **« It feels good to know that there is someone I can... someone I can truly trust. »**

Thorin's hand squeezed Laurelin's shoulder.

 **« I will never let you down when you are in need of help, or comfort, or anything else... »** he said, with a touching sincerity.

Her smiled widened, and hope shone in her big, brown eyes.

 **« Thank you. »** she repeated, at a loss for anything else to say.

He watched her intently for a while, then he gave her one last hug before leaving her house to go back to his own home.

Laurelin watched him walk away from her doorstep. She didn't think she would have made it through this trial if he had not been there to support her. The more she knew Thorin, the more she appreciated the man that was hiding behind the glorious title of King he was handsome, and a fierce fighter, and the best leader they could hope for... He was also one of the best armourer amongst their people... But what made him truly remarkable was his kindness, and his compassion, and his generostiy. Laurelin was no more than a mere serving girl, yet he had done everything in his power – he had given up on all his other duties – just to be with her on this difficult day. Not many men, noble or lowborn, would have acted like that, without expecting anything in return.

Once Thorin had disappeared into the night, she entered the house and closed the door behind her. Everything felt dead and empty, wthout her grand-mother, yet somehow Laurelin didn't cry, this time. She was still sad, of course, but not as overwhelming as it used to be earlier this day somehow Thorin had found a way to make it easier to bear, easier to live with. She still remembered how safe and comforted she had felt when he had hugged her – her face against his shoulder, and his strong arms around her, and the warmth of his sturdy body against her own trembling body... She wished he had never let go.

It was the first time since Erebor's fall, and the death of her parents, that she had felt so safe.

When Thorin reached his home, he undressed and slipped hastily into his night clothes and fell on his bed, exhausted – but he couldn't sleep. He kept tossing and turning in his bed, till the blankets were a mess. The day had been long and hard, not only for Laurelin, but also for him. He truly cared about her, and seeing her so distressed all day long had been awful. He had done his best to give her comfort, and obviously she had reacted quite positively to his touch – he still remembered how she had relaxed when he had rubbed her back, or how she had gripped his shirt with both hands when he had hugged her... But he was not sure he had done enough, and he knew she was still crying, and it was agony for him to imagine her in her own bed, all alone, crying herself to sleep in an empty house. For a moment, he considered getting up again and going to see her, then he realized it might be seen as highly inappropriate to visit her in the middle of the night. He didn't want to make her feel ill at ease. She had suffered enough for today.

It was almost early morning when he fell asleep at last, hoping tomorrow would be a better day, for Laurelin and for him.

 _She had endured so much, and no one more than her deserved to see better days._


	8. A PLACE TO CALL HOME

When Thorin emptied the last wheelbarrow of rubble, he sighed in relief. _Finished, at last !_ He had spent the whole day clearing away old bricks, rotten planks and other debris that cluttered the old forge. He was sore and exhausted, but at least tthe forge looked clean and well-ordered, now, and he felt an intense feeling of satisfaction. There was still a lot of work to do – like rebuilding some walls, or repairing the forging oven – but it was a good start. Soon, very soon, he would be able to start working iron and steel again, and earn some money. He was so impatient. After being barely more than a beggar for so long, the prospect of being a well-established, wealthy Dwarf again was making him shiver with anticipation.

He stretched his aching back, clenching his teeth against the pain. His hands were covered in blisters from pushing around the wheelbarrow, and some of them were now open and bloody. _Enough for today,_ he decided.

It was summer and the days were long, so the sun was still shining outside when he left the forge to reach the habitable parts. Laurelin was outside, taking down the dry laundry from the lines – he could see her through the window – so he was completely alone. He sat into the nearest chair, silently making a list of everything he still needed to start working in the forge some tools, and raw material. He would have to spend to his very last coin, to buy all this in the villages of the men, down in the valley he was a bit afraid – he would have nothing left at all, if something really bad happened – but on the other side he had no choice. He sighed. He would also have to hire someone, if he wanted to run the forge properly. Someone who would help him with the forge of course, by keeping the fire alive or drawing water from the well, or handing him the tools he needed when he couldn't move from his anvil that person would also be responsible for cleaning the place at night, or buying material, or welcoming the clients and negotiating with them, or to do the book-keeping... It would not be exhausting work, yet it would have to be done. Thorin couldn't do everything himself. Ideally, this person could even move into the forge, upstairs, to be on the spot every hour of the night and day. The house was big enough.

Thorin sighed again, and watched Laurelin, who was done with the laundry now. More than once, he had thought about her, because he already knew her well and he knew she was clever, resourceful and reliable. She would be perfect to help him in his trade, yet it would mean even more work for her, and Thorin did not want to impose this on her. He would have to ask her in such a way that she doesn't feel forced to accept, and that was not easy – so he just pushed it out of his mind, for now. He would have time to think about it later.

Yet the idea never really left his mind. Every time he saw her enter the forge to bring him water or food, every time he saw her pick up a tool or sweep coal dust, he wondered what she would think of helping him in his trade.

 _One day I will really have to ask her,_ he knew it.

A few days later, when he left the village to buy what he needed from the humans in the valley below, with Balin and a few others, he asked Laurelin to come with him. Surprised, she had accepted nonetheless. In fact, Thorin didn't truly need her at his side – he had Balin for advice - but he wanted to evaluate her interests for the trade. Depending on her reactions, Thorin would know if he should or should not ask her to work with him on a daily basis. He took her along in every shop, in every smithy, taking the time to explain to her the basic principles of the art of forging he took her along as he negotiated for the price of raw material, and even as he charged his purchases in the cart. He told her what he needed and why he needed it, how to evalutate the quality of raw steel, or how to make the difference between good tools and cheap junk. Laurelin listened raptly to his every word, and by the time they reached home again, Thorin was pleasantly surprised when he realized she remembered everything.

Laurelin would do, Thorin was convinced about it now. All that remained for him to do was to find the courage to ask her.

Days and weeks went by, without any notable changes in their lives. Laurelin came early in the morning to prepare Thorin's breakfast, then she worked all day long, as she always did. Every day, she also found the time to pick wild flowers in the alpine meadows surrounding the village, to put in front of the narrow cave where her grand-mother was buried. She said a few prayers, then she returned to the forge to finish her work there. In the evening, she usually spent a few moments watching Thorin work on his swords and battle axes, and listening to him as he explained to her what he was doing. She was a quick learner, and very soon she knew enough to have a real, technical conversation with Thorin about his trade. Then, at last, when the sun sank behind the mountains, she walked home alone, very proud of this new knowledge she was building up. Life was quiet enough – quiet and reassuring – except on the days when Dis and the boys came to visit them, of course ; Fili and Kili were loud and boisterous, making everybody laugh with their antics.

In the village, the other Dwarves were slowly rebuilding their own houses, stone after stone. Most of them were very enthusiastic, and sometimes they were so eager to finish that they worked late into the night, at the light of torches of oil lamps. Some houses soon started to look quite dashing, with painted shutters and pretty flowerbeds and brand new tiles. Most of the Dwarves were very skilled with their hands, and had started earning some money by selling their artifacts to the humans who lived in the valley ; they seemed to be rather fond of these objects, and were ready to pay to acquire them, so the standard of living increased slightly for the survivors of Erebor. The toy-makers were particularly successful, as well as the wood-carvers. The mines had been rehabilitated, too ; the humans had only abandoned them because they were too dangerous, but they were still full of iron ore, and copper. Mainly copper. And the Dwarves being exceptional miners, they knew how to dig deeper and deeper without causing any accident. Life was still hard and rudimentary, but it was starting to get better.

Thorin himself sold a few swords here and there, but crafting weapons was not asy ; each sword, each axe blade, each tiny piece of an armour or chain-mail required a lot of time, and a lot of hard work. Even if he got up at the break of dawn and toiled till the sun went down again, he couldn't produce many of them, so the money still ran rather low for him ; he was still far from the wealth he had dreamed about during the very first days – he didn't even earn enough money to pay Laurelin full wages – but he knew that with time it would get better so he just kept working hard, day after day.

 _I am a son of Durin's line, and I won't give up so easily._ He told himself every night, when he fell on his bed so exhausted that he didn't even remember what it felt like to be truly rested.

One afternoon, as Laurelin was working in the small garden behind the forge – it brought them fresh vegetables, as much as a small additional income – she saw thick dark clouds gathering in the sky. The air was stifling hot, and she was covered in sticky sweat from head to toes part of her hoped for a thunderstorm that would bring some rain and relief from the heat, but another part of her was afraid, as usual when there was a thunderstorm. She always felt small and helpless and vulnerable when she had to watch the nature unleash her fury. She quickly gathered her beans, then she entered into the forge. She felt slightly safer when she was between the strong stone walls of the house. She prepared Thorin's dinner, feeling a bit nervous but doing her best to concentrate on her tasks.

Night had fallen when the thunderstorm broke out. Rain was pouring down from the angry sky, and whipping the closed shutters of the forge. The wind was howling like a mad beast from hell, outside. More than once, Laurelin wondered if the forge would be able to withstand the storm, or if the walls would just collapse onto her head, burying her under a heap of rubble. But she didn't want Thorin to see her like a silly, frightened little mouse, so she just clenched her teeth and tried to hide her fears as best as she could.

 **« I don't want you to go out by this weather. »** Thorin told her gently. **« It's too dangerous. When I went out to feed the pony, I saw a gust of wind rip a tree from the gound, as if the tree were no more than a twig. You better stay here, where it's warm and safe. I have enough blankets, and more than enough space upstairs. »**

 **« Thank you. »** she answered, relieved. **« I have to admit I was really afraid to go outside. »**

 **« You're welcome. »** Then he smiled. **« I've caught the beast that nested upstairs, so you won't have to be afraid of that either. »** he added in a friendly voice. **« It was a marten. I caught it a few hours ago. You can chose yourself whatever room suits you best. »**

 **« With all due respect, my King, I'd rather sleep here, next to the fire, than in a cold dusty room upstairs. »** she said shyly. Thorin's bedroom had been cleaned and restored, but the others chambers were still untouched, full of dust and spiders and mouldy carpets.

Thorin shrugged.

 **« Of course. »** he answered, smiling. **« Nothing's better than sleeping in the warmth of a crackling fire, when such a storm is raging outside. »** He stretched, and got up. **« If there is anything else you need, please help yourself. You don't need to ask. »** He took a few steps, then he turned to Laurelin one last time. Even if she had acted as if nothing was wrong during the whole evening, he had sensed she was somewhat nervous, but he couldn't quite grasp just _how much_ she was frightened. **« Are you are all right ?** **»**

 **«Yes, my King. »** she said bravely, putting a fake smile on her lips.

She didn't want to sound whiny or childish – she was a grown woman, now, after all, and grown women are not supposed to be frightened of a mere thunderstorm. She knew Thorin would not laugh at her, but she was still afraid she would drop in his esteem if he saw how afraid she was. Secretly, she hoped he would stay with her for a while – the company of another human being was what she truly craved for – but she didn't say a word. She just watched Thorin climb the stairs after he bid her good-night. At first she heard his heavy steps upstairs, then there was nothing but the howling wind outside and the rain splattering against the shutters. She shivered, but did her best to keep the fear at bay as she prepared her makeshift bed on the floor. When she was done, she slipped under the blankets and closed her eyes, but every thunderbolt made her startle.

After a while, though, Laurelin heard Thorin's feet over her head once more. She wondered what he was up to, then she realized he was heading towards the stairs ; several seconds later, she heard the steps creak under his weight as he came down again.

 **«** **Laurelin, are you sure you are all right ?** **»** he asked, looking her into the eyes. He was still wearing his trousers, but he was barefoot and he already wore his night-shirt. His long black hair was unbraided, hanging down his back and around his face in long dark strands.

Laurelin tried to avoid his gaze, because she knew one look would be enough for him to guess how terrified she was, but then he knelt at her side and put two fingers under her chin, very gently, to make her look up. When their eyes met, she saw nothing but kindness in Thorin's blue eyes. She relaxed slightly.

 **« I** **t's just wind and rain.** **»** he told her reassuringly. **«** **They may sound frightening, but they can't hurt you here. There's not reason to be afraid.** **»**

He put his hand on her shoulder, and smiled at her.

 **«** **Of course.** **»** she said, but at this precise moment a tree was struck by lightning not far away, and she let out a small shout.

Thorin squeezed her shoulder.

 **«** **This house has been standing for centuries.** **»** he told her. **«** **Even when it was empty and untended, it endured many storms without falling down. Now that I have strengthened the walls and the roof, nothing will be able to destroy it. Nothing.** **»**

Laurelin nodded.

 **«** **Thank you, my King.** **»** she said shyly. **«** **For coming back... It's just... I know I may sound silly, but I don't like thunderstorms,** **and it's the first time in my life that I am alone during one of them... It's just...** **»**

She sighed, and remembered how her grand-mother used to tell her tales of old, to keep her mind away from what was happening outside.

 **«** **You're not alone.** **»** he answered. **«** **Dis was afraid of thunderstorms, too, when she was younger. Then she learned to wield a sword, and from that moment she declared she would never be afraid of anything again.** **»** He smiled fondly as he recalled Dis as a little girl. **«** **Maybe I should teach you how to use a sword, too.** **»** He joked, smiling at Laurelin.

 **«** **I'm not a fighter.** **»** she answered. The prospect of killing and spilling blood was horrifying, to her eyes. **«** **I don't think I am brave enough to do such things as your sister does.** **»**

 **«** **Going to battle with a blade in your hand is not the only form of courage.** **»** Thorin pointed out. **«** **Waking up every morning and finding the strength to smile when all your beloved ones are dead takes an incredible amount of courage, too.** **»**

By the intense way he was looking at her, she understood he was talking about her. She didn't know what to answer to that, so she said nothing. She just nodded, and looked warily at the shutters. The wind was already starting to lose in intensity, and the downpour of rain had almost stopped ; the only sound that came from outside was the soft spattering of summer rain on the ground, and the barking of a dog somewhere in the village.

 **«** **Thank you, my King.** **»** she repeated. **«** **I think I will be all right, now.** **»** He frowned at her. **«** **Truly. The worst is over. I think I will be able to sleep, now.** **»**

This time Thorin nodded, and got up. Laurelin's shoulder felt very cold where the man's hand had been moments earlier.

 **«** **Good night,Laurelin. Sleep well.** **»**

 **«** **Good night, my King.** **»**

She settled as comfortably as possible between her blankets, and heaved a deep sigh. A few moments later, she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

While Laurelin was slowly drifting into sleep downstairs, Thorin tossed and turned in his bed. Seeing her so frightened by a thunderstorm had come as a surprise, for him ; he couldn't imagine how somebody like Laurelin, who had suffered so many hardships these last decades, could still be so afraid of a harmless thunderstorm ? But far from making her look ridiculous, Thorin had been pleased to see that the soft side of her had not been completely destroyed by all the difficulties they had faced lately. No matter the grief or the pain, Laurelin was still as gentle-hearted as she had always been. She had toughened up, of course, but without getting mean or bitter or full of resentment, like some of the others Dwarves. It was a great quality, it showed as strong she truly was, and Thorin genuinely admired her for it. Which led him back to the one question that was bothering him : Should he truly ask her to come and live here, with him .

He had no doubts left about Laurelin : he knew she would be perfect to help him with the forge. She had everything he was looking for in his partner. Yet every time he had been about to ask her about it, he had cowered and let her go without talking to her. He didn't even know why he hesitated to much. In truth, there was no reason at all to be so afraid. Yet he kept wondering – _what if she feels embarrassed, or offended by my proposal ? What if she refuses ? And what if she accepts ? Will she be able to cope with additonal work, on top of everything else she's already doing ? How will it feel, to have her live in my house ? Will we be able to get along, or will our realtionship turn bitter after barely a few months ? And what will people think about it ?_ He was not really afraid for himself – he didn't care what people might of might not say about him when he had his back turned – but he didn't want Laurelin to become the target of mean gossip amongst the other Dwarves. Besides, Thorin had never shared his space with anybody else, not even with his little sister Dis. This situation would be completely new to him, and it made him a bit uncomfortable to think about such a closeness.

Then, on the other side, he remembered how sweet and gentle Laurelin was, and he guessed living in the same house as her would be easy enough. She was nothing like Dis – stubborn, strong-willed Dis who always wanted to be the one in charge. Laurelin was discreet and eager to please, and whe would definitely not be intruding.

He sighed, and tried to find a comfortable position in his bed.

He spent the rest of the night torturing himself with an endless flow of questions and interrogations, and when the sun rose in the morning he had taken his decision. He had never been so determined in his life as he was at this precise moment.

It was a beautiful day, with bright sun and blue sky, but the air was pleasantly fresh after last night's thundestorm. He was working on a longsword when Laurelin entered, carrying a flask of cold water. He saw her smile at him, and couldn't help but smile back. She handed him the flask, and he thanked her politely, then the maid asked several questions about the sword he was forging Thorin knew it was not just politeness, but genuine interest in his work, so he answered her questions as thoroughly as possible. He even went as far as describing her the distinction between a longsword – like the one he was working on – and a broadsword, then he took a deep breath and decided to take the bull by the horns, once and for good.

 **« Laurelin, I am very impressed by everything you have learned so fast. »** he started in a very formal voice, to hide his own nervousness. **« You are a great help for me already, and you are on the way of becoming truly essential to the smooth running of this forge. »**

 **« Thank you. »** she said with a soft smile, but it was obvious she felt proud of herself as she heard her king's praising words. **« It is an honor to work with you, my King. »**

Thorin smiled at her.

 **« This is why I want to make you an offer... »** he continued. **« You will be free to refuse, of course. »**

Puzzled, she froze and lifted an eyebrow, curious to hear more.

 **« An offer, my King ? »**

 **« Since I will have more work soon, I will have more and more need of your presence here. Sometimes we will have to work late, or to start very early in the morning. The most reasonable solution would be for you to come and live here, in the forge. There are many empty rooms upstairs. I am sure one of them would suit you, if you decided to accept my proposition. »**

Laurelin was so surprised that, for a long moment, she didn't know what to answer. She stammered a few awkward words, then she paused to regain some composure.

 **« I would be glad to help you in every possible way. »** she said at last, her heart beating fast in her chest.

 **« Of course, like I said before, you are free to refuse. »** Thorin insisted. He didn't want her to feel pressured in saying yes **. « Helping me with the forge means additional work, and coming to live here is an important decision too, something you cannot take lightly. There's no obligation at all. If you are not interested, just say no and I will never bother you with this again. You will just keep doing all the things you did so far, and everything will be fine. »**

 **« I am fully aware of the implications of such an offer, and I accept gladly. »** she said, feeling a bit flushed. **« It will be an honor to help you in your daily work at the forge, and I am very willing to learn even more about this trade. »**

Hearing Thorin tell her he was impressed by her knowledge made her feel wonderfully happy, and proud of herself. She had put many efforts into learning everything about weapons, and about how they were crafted. She had greatly enjoyed learning these new things, and she had also enjoyed watching Thorin as he worked in the forge, so engrossed in his work that he forgot about everything else around him _._ Although she had not learned everything in the sole purpose of pleasing him – she had done it out of genuine interest – it still felt good to know her efforts had paid off. It was the very proof that she could do more with her life than being just a mere serving girl.

 **« Thank you, Laurelin. »** Thorin said with a warm smile. **« Really, I am grateful. I know I need to be seconded by someone, but if you had refused I really don't know whom I would have turned to. There's no one here I can trust as much as I can trust you. »**

Laurelin didn't know what to answer to this ; she was baffled by so many unexpected compliments and no words came to her mind, but her broad smile was enough to express all her happiness.

 **« I won't have need of your services during a few hours, so maybe you should go back to your home and gather your things. »** he suggested. **« If everything goes well, you will be comfortably settled by the time the night falls. »**

She nodded and thanked him, then she walked out of the forge, still unable to believe what had just happened. She would come and live at the forge. Never again would she have to sleep in an empty, deserted house, with no more than the memory of her grand-mother to keep her company. She would live and sleep under the same roof as Thorin. His reassuring presence would stand tall and strong between her and the fears that somethimes gripped her heart in the middle of the night, when she was unable to sleep.

When she arrived at the small house where she had lived so far, she contemplated it for a while before entering.

 _I won't miss it._ She realized. _Not at all_ _._

A few hours later, Laurelin was standing in her little house for the last time. She contemplated all her possessions, gathered around her she didn't own much, and what little she owned was old, used and cheap. Three threadbare dresses she wore for her daily work, two sets of underwear, several brown pairs of holey socks, as well a brush, a comb and a tiny cracked mirror. Her family's necklace she already wore around her neck, and the herbs she used for cooking as well as for healing minor diseases or small injuries were stacked in a small chest of dark cherry-wood. Her kitchenware was gathered in another chest, a bigger one, made of polished walnut wood, as well as a few blankets, an old wolf skin, and her grand-mother's belongings. It would all fit into one bedroom, so she wouldn't take up much space in Thorin's house. Her kind neighbour helped her to drag the heavy chest out of the house, and to lift it onto the back of Thorin's pony the small but strong beast didn't complain about the heavy weight, and just waited patiently till Laurelin gave him the order to walk. She politely thanked her old neighbor for his kindness, then she softly stroked the pony's forehead ; she took the reins and led him gently through the streets of the village.

When she reached the forge, Thorin welcomed her with a warm and pleasant smile. It was pretty obvious he rejoiced in seeing her move in. He stepped forward to get the chest off the pony, then he carried it upstairs Laurelin thanked him – she had no idea how she would have carried it herself, if he hadn't volunteered to do it in her place – and followed him upstairs. She looked at everything as if it were the first time she entered the house, because everything was different now it would not just be Thorin's house anymore, but also _her_ house. _Her_ home.

 **« There are half a dozen bedrooms on each side of the corridor. »** Thorin informed her. **« On the left side, though, the roof was in a bad state before I repaired it, so everything is quite damaged. I'd rather chose one of the bedrooms on the right side, if I were you. »**

Laurelin nodded. She opened several doors – except the door to Thorin's bedroom, of course – and in the end she set her heart on the room right next to Thorin's. When she told him which one she had selected, he smiled and nodded approvingly. It was in good condition, more or less Laurelin spotted a few cracks in the wall, and in one corner, water had leaked into the house from the damaged roof. But everything else still looked good enough.

 **« What will you do with all the other rooms ? »** Laurelin asked, as she stood in the corridor with Thorin.

 **« To be honest, Laurelin, I have no idea so far. »** he admitted. **« It's too much space for just two people, but well, I don't know yet... Your suggestions will be welcome, if you have some. »** Then he announced her he had to go back to work – he wanted to finish the sword before nightfall – so he left Laurelin alone after carrying her chest into her chamber.

Once he was gone, Laurelin started turning the empty room into a home. Her first task was to clean it, of course since there had been more important work to do downstairs, she hadn't bothered cleaning the empty rooms so far. Everything was still dirty and dusty, with spier webs in every corner. She even found bat droppings under one of the beams from the celing, but all the bats were gone now. She swepts and mopped the floor, then she dusted every inch of the bedroom, before airing the old blankets at the window. The bed itself was covered with tiny holes left by the woodborers, but it looked strong enough and it didn't breeak down when Laurelin sat on it. She pulled her pillow out of the chest, then her own blankets, then she hung her dresses into the small wardrobe.

When she was done, she sighed in relief. She was filthy and covered in sweat, but happy to be done with the unpleasant work. She quickly washed her face and her hands, then she braided her hair again and slipped into a clean dress. In spite of her low birth and humble origins, she was very clean and did her best to look decent in every occasion, even when she didn't leave the house. Of course she didn't wear make up or powders on her face, and she wasn't vain at all, but it was important to her to be clean. She was a maid, not a sloven.

She spent the rest of the day as she always did, sharing her time between her chores at Thorin's house, and her daily walk through the meadows to pick up flowers for her grand-mother's tomb. She also took the time to feed Thorin's pony, and to clean his stall ; she was growing more and more fond of the brave little beast, and she always loved to spend a bit of time with him. Late in the afternoon, Thorin even sent her to jeweler's shop, to see if he had a beautiful stone or two that she could buy for Thorin, to set into the hilt of the sword he was about to finish. Laurelin felt honored to chose the stones herself, yet at the same time she was afraid her choice would disappoint him she hesitated between a big blue topaze, and a set of smaller lemon-colored stones. Her eye was also attracted to a shining blood-red ruby, but this one was far too expensive for Thorin's yet half-empty purse. So in the end she chose the tiny yellow stones, and when she was back at the forge Thorin rewarded her with a pleased smile. She watched him as he meticulously set them into the sword's rounded pommel, fascinated by the nimbleness of Thorin's big fingers.

Then evening came, and Laurelin returned into the house to prepare dinner. Night had fallen by the time everything was ready, and a beaming Thorin announced her that the sword was ready to be sold. time everything was ready, and a beaming Thorin announced her that the sword was ready to be sold. He was very proud of his work, and in a very good mood ; he was sure he would get a good price for it, and he complimented Laurelin once more for her wise choice regarding the ornamental stones.

Once Thorin was done eating, he returned to the forge to put away his tools, while Laurelin tidied the kitchen. Then, instead of putting on her shoes and walking home, she just sat in front of the fire with a pile of clothes to mend ; summer was slowly turning to autumn, and some of the nights were starting to be quite fresh, actually. Thorin soon joined her, and they talked animatedly for a while. Laurelin had rarely seen his so enthusiastic and optimistic. Later, when Dwalin and Balin knocked on the door to talk to Thorin, Laurelin quietly gathered her things and climbed the stairs, to retreat in her bedroom. She made herself as discreet as possible. She was, after all, just his maid. She didn't want to intrude on his private life.

Downstairs, as Thorin watched her climb the stairs, he wondered why she suddenly felt the need to run away like that ; Dwalin and Balin had just come to exchange a few words of no importance with Thorin, and the young maid could have stayed where she was, warming her feet in front of the fire. _Maybe she's afraid that I would be ashamed of her in front of my friends ?_ He felt angry with himself for letting her feel such a thing, even unintentionally. In truth, he would have loved for Laurelin to stay, so she could have been at his side when he showed his friends the finished sword – she had, after all, played a part in its making, even if it was just a small part. He would have to make more effots, in the future, to make her feel at ease when he had guests. He didn't want her to flee and hide and feel awkward every time he had visitors.

Once Balin and Dwalin had left, he climbed the stairs at last. Before going to bed, he decided to check on Laurelin one last time. Everything was new for her, after all. He knocked softly at the door, so as not to wake her is she was asleep, but she immediately answered and told him to enter. When he saw her sitting on the bed in her nightclothes, with her hair unbound, he felt a bit embarrassed as he realized she probably wanted nothing but to be alone and quiet, so late at night. He cursed himself for intruding like that into her private life.

 **« I'm sorry to bother you.** **»** he said apologetically. **« I just wanted to make sure you don't need anything. »**

Laurelin welcomed him warmly, with a pleasant smile, though. All the awkwardness he had felt moments before disappeared at once. She got up from her bed, and Thorin realized – once more – how pretty she was. She was slender for a Dwarf-woman, with a round face and white skin, and long hair that hung to her hips.

 **«** **I am perfectly fine, thank you. »** she replied, and she truly meant it. **« But I think I need some sleep, now. »**

 **«** **We all need to rest. »** Thorin agreed.

 **« Good-night, my King. »** she said fondly.

 **«** **Good night, Laurelin. »**

They exchanged one last look, then Thorin left her bedroom to let her sleep.

Laurelin blew her candle, and found a comfortable position under her blankets. She closed her eyes. The place still smelled of dust and mildew, yet Laurelin didn't care, because the bed was comfortable and she already felt at home, here. It was a place to call her own. A place where she could drop her walls and stop being on her guard all the time... A place where she could just let go of her fears and abandon herself to sleep... She sighed, and opened her eyes one last time to stare at the wall separating her room from Thorin's. He was right there, like a protector. Knowing he was sleeping on the other side of the wall made her feel safe, truly safe.

She closed her eyes again and sank into a quiet, dreamless sleep.

What Laurelin didn't know was that on the other side of the wall, Thorin was feeling just as glad as she was here, so close to him. For the first time in years – decades, even – he wasn't alone anymore. He had somebody at his side he could rely on, somebody who truly cared about him. It was a pleasant feeling. There had been nights, during the last weeks, when he had wondered if working as an armorer was truly worth the effort – would it not be better to choose an easier but less satisfactory trade ? But now Laurelin was here, and she made him want to surpass himself. The fact that she counted on him to survive in this world was the best of all the motivations. He would persevere, day after day, to offer her the life she deserved.

 _I will make it._ He promised silently, not only to himself – but also to Laurelin.

 _One day, we will have a beautiful life, and then this difficult start will be no more than a bad memory, for both of us._


	9. COHABITATION

Laurelin thought living together would be awkward, at first, yet to her great surprise it immediately felt comfortable. Soon, her bedroom smelled of wild flowers and fresh air, and Thorin repaired the cracks in the wall. It didn't take him much time – no more than one hour – but he liked what he saw ; Laurelin had turned this dreary old bedroom in a small but comfortable chamber. The deep blue velvety curtains she had hung at the window gave it a cozy atmosphere, and the candles on her bedside table gave off a subtle smell of herbs and bee wax. On the floor, right next to the bed, there was Laurelin's old wolf skin. Everything was very clean and well-ordered, and Thorin was glad to see she had appropriated herself the place so quickly. The idea that she felt comfortable under his roof made him smile.

When Thorin sold his beautiful sword to a rich human merchant, a few days after Laurelin had moved in : He came back with a nice purse filled with gold coins ; for the first time since he had hired Laurelin, so long ago, he was able to pay her as she deserved it. And he immediately started working on a chain-mail somebody in the valley had ordered from him. Laurelin watched him for a while as he crafted tiny copper ring after tiny copper ring, and listened to him as he explained how a mail made of small rings was offering a better protection than a mail crafted with bigger rings. She listened raptly to each and every one of his words. Then, she left to wash an armful of clothes at the river ; she chatted with several other women, then she went back home and hung the laundry on the lines, to let them dry in the sun.

Later that day, when Thorin came out of the forge, Laurelin saw him blush as he spotted her underwear drying in the sun. It's only then, as Laurelin saw his cheeks turn a deep red over his beard, that she truly realized he had never been close to a woman before. She frowned, and tried to recall everything that had happened during the thirty years she had been in his service... Had she ever seen him with a woman ? _No._ She reflected. No woman ; apart from Dis of course, but she was his sister so she didn't really count. Laurelin had never seen Thorin show any interest in women, or spend time with any of them... Not once, in more than thrity years... She couldn't quite grasp why ; he was young and healthy and handsome, he was a king with noble blood in his veins, and he was charming enough. There was nothing wrong with him, yet he was still alone. Yet on the other side, it made him look even more endearing, to Laurelin's eyes ; some men would have taken advantage of their high status to seduce woman after woman, yet Thorin wasn't like that. His behavior was always perfectly honorable.

Several days later, Laurelin went to bed early, quite proud of herself ; Thorin had showed her how to assemble the copper rings for the chain mail – easy but tedious work – and then she had spent the rest of the afternoon helping him, and when night had fallen she had been pleased to see they had almost finished one half of the left sleeve together. Knowing that she was actually able to do something that was both so strong and so beautiful was a very satisfying feeling. Yet she was tired nonetheless, and her fingers were sore, so she went to bed right after cleaning the kitchen. She sighed deeply as she slipped between the newly acquired linen blankets, and fell asleep almost immediately, with a faint smile on her lips.

What she hadn't expected was to be woken up when her door was violently banged open, a few hours later, in the middle of the night. Laurelin was so startled that she let out a small cry, before she recognized young Fili ; he was wearing his nightclothes, and he was obviously completely over-excited. He babbled something about Kili being sick, and then Thorin came running into Laurelin's dark bedroom, looking utterly worried.

 **«** **Are you all right ?** **»** he asked, looking at the young woman. **«** **I heard you scream... »**

 **«** **I'm fine. »** she answered, her heart still beating very fast after such a fright. **«** **It's just... Fili entered while I** **was sleeping, and he startled me. That's all. »**

He sighed in relief as he saw she was unhurt. Then Thorin's frowned sternly at the boy, who lowered his gaze.

 **« Fili, how many times did I tell you that you can't intrude into Laurelin's chamber like that ? »** he lectured the boy. He didn't like being so stern with the child, but he also needed to make some things clear to the boy. **« She lives here, but that doesn't mean you can just come and bother her whenever it pleases you. This room here is her personal space. You need to learn to respect that, Fili. It's called privacy. »**

 **«** **Sorry. »** he said.

Thorin nodded briefly, then he turned to Laurelin.

 **«** **My sister's youngest son is very sick, so she took him to the healer. She asked if I could keep an eye on Fili for a few hours, that's why he's here now. I told him to stay downstairs, but when I went outside to fetch firewood in the shed he obviously decided it was a good moment to disobey my orders. »**

 **«** **Sorry. »** the boy repeated meekly, his eyes on his feet.

 **«** **We'll talk about this downstairs. »** Thorin said gravely, pointing at the stairs with his finger.

Fili shuffled out of Laurelin's bedroom.

The maid felt her heart melt as she saw the little boy so stricken and sad. She jumped out of her bed, and caught up with him and Thorin in the corridor. Very tenderly, she put her right hand on Fili's shoulder, but her eyes were on Thorin.

 **«** **It's nothing. »** she insisted, in a respectful but determined tone. **«** **I was just a bit startled, that's all. I am fine, my King. Truly. It was just a silly incident. There's no reason to scold you nephew for such a trifle. »**

 **«** **He knows you are living here now, and I told him several times to stay downstairs to let you sleep in peace. You've done good work today, and you deserve to rest without being disturbed by this little wildling here. »** His voice had softened up as he had spoken, and Laurelin detected a clear note of tenderness in the man's last words. She couldn't help but smile. Thorin my be rough and stubborn, sometimes – and very proud – but his heart was a gentle one.

 **«** **I'm sorry. »** Fili repeated for the third time, and by his voice Laurelin realized he was crying. She felt a surge of compassion for him. She knelt at his side and stroked his cheek, very gently.

 **«** **It's nothing. »** she told him reassuringly, and was pleased to see a small smile on his lips. **«** **I know you didn't frighten me intentionally. »** She smiled at him, then she looked up at Thorin. **«** **But tell me, young Master Fili... : Why did you come to me ? What did you want from me ? »**

Fili shuffled nervously, and bit his lips.

 **« You're always nice with me, »** he admitted finally. **« Every time when Mother and me and Kili we come here, or when we meet you in the village, you're always smiling at me and Kili. Mother didn't smile at me today, because she was sad for Kili... »** He looked at Laurelin, his blue eyes glistening with tears. **« I just wanted to be with somebody who smiles at me... and... a few days ago, on the market, you told Mother that you know a lot of stories that** ** _your_** **mother told you when you were a little girl... »**

Laurelin couldn't help but smile tenderly at him, moved by his words. She gave him a cuddle, more than willing to offer him the warmth and comfort he so desperately needed right now. A few minutes later, she got up again and looked at Thorin.

 **«** **So... he will be here for a few hours ? »** she asked.

 **«** **I don't know** **exactly, but I guess he'll be here for a good part of the night at least, if not the whole night. But don't worry, Laurelin. I will take him downstairs with me, and he won't bother you again. »**

 **«** **Oh no, I didn't mean it like that ! »** she exclaimed. **«** **He doesn't bother me at all ! I was merely wondering whether he will sleep here or not. »**

 **«** **Do you think Kili will be all right ? »** Fili asked unexpectedly, but neither Thorin nor Laurelin had the answer to this question. They could do no more than hope and pray with all their hearts that the youngest boy would heal quickly.

 **«** **He's in the hands of the healer, now. »** Thorin said gently. **«** **Oïn will do everything in his power to make your little brother feel better again. »**

Laurelin hoped he was right. She had not seen Kili, but if Dis was worried enough to run to the healer's home in the middle of the night, leaving her eldest son behind, it probably meant it was serious.

 **«** **I don't like it when Kili's sick. »** Fili said dejectedly, looking first at his uncle, then at Laurelin. **«** **He cries all the day, and he doesn't laugh like he always does, and we can't even play with me. I really want him to heal. »** It's obvious he's very worried.

 **«** **Of course you want him to heal. »** Laurelin told him very softly. She would have loved to tell him the stories he wanted to hear, but she was not sure whether she was allowed to take such a liberty or not. She hesitated. Thorin encouraged her with an approving nod. **«** **When... When I was young and I was sad about something, one of my parents used to take me on their knees to tell me stories, and it helped me feel better. »** she said, her smile broadening as she watched the young boy. As soon as he understood Laurelin acutally agreed to tell him the stories he longed for, his cute little face light up with hope and enthusiasm. **«** **Maybe... if you don't mind, my King... I would really enjoying telling him a few stories, to take his mind off Kili... »**

Thorin looked surprised, but Fili started jumping excitedly.

 **«** **I love stories ! »** he yelled, and cast his uncle a pleading look. **«** **You say yes, Uncle ? Please ! I want to listen to Laurelin's stories ! »**

The little boy screamed in joy when Thorin nodded, and hugged his uncle wth both arms.

 **«** **Thank you, Uncle Thorin ! »**

The king of the Dwarves gently tousled his nephews's blond hair, with an affectionate smile on his proud face.

 **«** **Are you sure you don't mind ? »** Thorin asked Laurelin.

 **«** **Not at all. »** she said, smiling widely and tenderly at the child who was still clinging to his uncle. She was obviously very happy to take Thorin's nephew under her wing for a few moments.

Fili let go of his uncle, and grabbed Laurelin's hand instead with juvenile exuberance. He led her into her bedroom.

 **«** **Mother is always sitting on the bed when she's telling stories. »** he said, and a moment later he had climbed on Laurelin's bed. As soon as she joined him, the boy crawled onto her lap, and cuddled comfortably against her. Laurelin smiled fondly as she saw him like that, so small and so sweet against her. Instinctively, she wanted to kiss him on the top of the head, but she didn't think this would be appropriate, coming for somebody of her rank ; Fili was of royal blood, after all, and will probably become a king, one day. Instead, she just put an arm around him and pulled him a bit closer to her, to keep him warm as well as to comfort him.

Thorin, who was standing in the frame of the open door, watched them silently for a while, feeling both amused and pleased by what he was seeing. Fili's acted is if Laurelin was some sort of older sister, or maybe a loving aunt, but in truth the boy's familiarity didn't really surprise Thorin. Fili was a gentle, trusting little boy ; sometimes it was worrying, because he was talking to everybody in the streets, and he always followed people he barely knew – if he knew them at all. He was never wary of anybody. Dis had complained several times about this, but tonight Thorin knew he wouldn't have to worry for the lad. He was in safe hands, with Laurelin.

He nodded briefly at her, then he left them alone. He was still smiling when he went down the stairs.

 **«** **What story will you tell me ? »** Fili asked eagerly.

 **«** **Do you know the story of the Frog Pincess and the Troll ? »** she asked. The boy frowned, then he shook his head, making his hair and his tiny braids fly.

 **«** **Tell me, please ! »** he said excitedly.

She helped him settle more comfortably on her legs, her arm still around him, and started telling her story in a soft, gentle voice.

From downstairs, he could hear Laurelin soft, chanting voice as she told her story, but he couldn't understand the words. From time to time, there was an excited word from Fili, too. They seemed to get along fine. He hadn't expected her to take care of the little boy like that – he was no family of hers, after all – and looking after him in the middle of the night was not part of Laurelin's duties, but she seemed to enjoy the boy's presence. Thorin had noticed the fondness in her eyes as the boy had cuddled against her, and he wondered if she longed to have children of her own. She probably did. This idea made him feel uneasy, so he just tried to concentrate on something else. He went into the forge to make a few more rings for the chain mail. He trusted Laurelin enough to leave her alone with Fili, but he also promised himself he would not let the boy in her hands too long. She needed rest.

When Dis came back, late at night, Thorin had fallen asleep in his old moth-eaten armchair, in front of the fire. He woke with a start when she knocked on the door. Thorin hurried to open the door, and frowned when she saw her standing outside alone – without Kili.

 **«** **Kili is fine. »** she chuckled, when she saw the worried look on her brother's face. **«** **He's asleep at home, in his bed. At last. »** Thorin noticed how tired she looked. **«** **And where's my eldest ? Since he didn't run into my arms, I suppose he's asleep as well...? »**

Thorin felt a pang of guilt and embarrassment as he realized he had left the boy in Laurelin's hands for Mahal knows how many hours, while he had been sleeping. She needed to rest, as well, but instead of letting her sleep he had just left her alone to deal with Fili. How selfish of him. What would she think of him, now ?

 **«** **He was with Laurelin when... when I fell asleep. »** he admitted sheepishly.

 **« Oh, really ? »** she joked. **«** **Laurelin ? I ask you to watch over Fili for one night, and you shove him into the hands of your maid as soon as I have my back turned ? Were you really so eager to be rid of him? Big, strong Thorin defeated by a little boy ? »**

She chuckled softly.

 **« Your little boy would be able to defeat a whole army of Orcs, with his boundless energy. »** Thorin grumbled, but then a smile suddenly stretched his lips. When they were younger, in Erebor – when times were happier and easier – Dis and Thorin used to bicker and tease each other a lot. His sister's jest had brought back those memories of old.

 **« Well, now at least, I know which one of you both is truly brave. »** Dis said with an impish glint in her dark eyes.

 **« You're a nuisance, little sister. »** Thorin joked amiably.

 **« Of course. »** she retorted with an impish smile. **« That's why you love me so much, dear brother. »** She laughed again, and part of the tension she had been feeling all day just vanished from her tired features. Then she was serious again. **« Come on, now, let's relieve poor Laurelin. Dawn will soon be here, but maybe she will be able to get a few hours of sleep before the sun wakes her up. »**

They climbed the creaking stairs. No sound came from the first floor, and no one answered when Thorin knocked on Laurelin's door. He opened it slowly. Everything was dark, inside. All the candles had gone out.

Dis entered after him, and in the light of her oil lamp they could see Laurelin and Fili asleep on the bed the little boy was lying between Laurelin and the wall, to make sure he wouldn't fall if he stirred in his sleep. He was turning his back on the young woman, and she had put a protective arm around him. She had covered him with her blankets to keep the chill of the night away from him, keeping only one linen for herself. Since she had also given her pillow to the young boy, she was sleeping with her head resting on her free arm.

Dis smiled adoringly when she saw her son fast asleep, then she looked at her brother.

 **« He looks comfortable enough. »** she said hesitantly. **« It would be a shame to wake him up now, but... well, do you think I can leave him here, with Laurelin ? Don't you think he will bother her ? »**

Thorin hesitated, too. He didn't like to speak on behalf of Laurelin, without asking for her opinion first.

 **« I... I don't think she would mind. »** he said at last, hoping he was right.

 **« I'll be back tomorrow, in the morning, then. »** Dis whispered softly. **« By Mahal, I never though he would be able to fall asleeep tonight. He was so worried for Kili. I thought he would be up and about all night, but obviously your Laurelin has done miracles with him. »**

Thorin closed the door again, then he continued.

 **« She's not my Laurelin. »** he said, a bit confused. **« She belongs to no one but herself, and... »**

 **« She works for you, doesn't she ? »** Dis interrupted him. **« And she lives with you, too. »**

 **« She lives in my house, Dis. Not** ** _with_** **me. »**

The woman shrugged, as if this detail made no difference.

 **« I need some sleep, too. I'll come to get Fili back in the morning. »** The descended the stairs together, trying to be as silent as possible. She reached the front door, and was already half outside when suddenly she turned around, looking at Thorin. **« It was a good idea to let her come and live with you here. »** she said.

 **« She's doing good work in the house, and she also helps me a bit with my work in the forge, when she has time. »**

 **« I wasn't talking about that. »** Dis retorted, amused by how slow Thorin was to understand some things, sometimes. **« I was talking about two lonely people deciding to live under the same roof to be a bit less lonely. It will be good for both of you. »**

She gave him one last smile, then she walked out.

Thorin drank one last cup of hot tea – Laurelin had left the kettle on the kitchen fire – then he decided it was high time for him to go to bed, too. He undressed, and slipped between his fresh blankets. The last thing on his mind, before he drifted into sleep, was Laurelin with little Fili cuddled against her. It made him smiled, first, and then frown it was obvious she loved children, and her desire to have a family of her own was probably growing with every day.

What will happen when she finds herself a husband ?

He didn't want to think about the answer to this question.

When Laurelin felt Fili moving in the bed next to her, she understood the little boy would wake up soon. She opened her eyes, and saw the sun was up already. She climbed out of the bed, very slowly, very carefully, then she stretched. Fili opened his eyes when the maid slipped her feet into her soft leather shoes for a moment, he stared at the room around him, looking utterly confused, then he recognized Laurelin and smiled weakly.

 **« Where's Mother ? »** he asked shyly.

 **« You will see her very soon. »** Laurelin promised him, kneeling to be on eye level with him.

 **« Kili ? »** the child asked.

 **« He must be with your mother, young Master Fili. »** she said reassuringly. **« I suppose your uncle will bring you back to her soon, but first you need to eat something. Come, Fili... Let's have some breakfast in the kitchen. »**

The boy hesitated for a moment, then his smile broadened.

When Thorin woke up, he heard Fili's shrill voice at once. He was in the kitchen with Laurelin. He yawned, he stretched, then he decided to join them at last when he saw the remnants of food on the table, he understood the boy was finished eating already. Laurelin had combed and braided his hair, and she was now washing his sticky hands in a basin of warm water.

 **« Good morning, my King. »**

Laurelin had greeted him with a friendly smile, as usual, but inwardly she was worried the fact that Dis didn't come to get her son back was quite alarming, in truth. How ill could the little one be, to keep his mother away from her firstborn ? Yet she didn't want to speak with Thorin about such disturbing things in front of Fili, so she just kept silent and did her best to cheer up Fili.

 **« Good morning. »** Thorin replied, still looking a bit sleepy.

Even though he looked tired, Laurelin was pleased to see that he was also very relaxed, and Laurelin felt slightly less anxious he had probably heard some good news about Kili, during the night, or else he wouldn't look se serene.

 **« Your breakfast is ready, if you are hungry. »** she announced amiably while she dried Fili's hands with a towel.

 **« I don't have time to eat. »** he said. **« I have to bring this little scoundrel to his mother. She came by during the night, but then we found you both asleep, and looking so peaceful, and we didn't have the heart to wake you up. »** he explained, a bit hesitantly. **« Dis said she would come to fetch him, but I don't like the idea of her leaving little Kili alone in his bed. I'm going to bring Fili home. »**

 **« I'm glad you didn't wake him up. »** Laurelin said, still smiling. **« It took him such a long while to fall asleep. »**

Laurelin didn't say it aloud, yet Thorin guessed that the young boy had been very worried  
last night.

 **« Your little brother is feeling better. »** he said to Fili, with a beaming smile. Laurelin was amused – and a bit touched – to see the King talk so gently, so softly to the child, in spite of his big booming voice. **« Kili's probably asleep in his bed, right now, and as soon as Laurelin will be finished with you, I will walk home with you. I'm sure your mother missed you, this morning. »**

Fili's face lit up at once.

 **« Kili ! »** he bellowed in his childish voice. **« I want to see Kili ! »**

Laurelin laughed at his exuberance, and smiled tenderly as the boy ran towards his uncle to grab his big hand. They had almost reached the door, when suddenly he turned around and ran back to Laurelin he gave her a wet kiss on the cheek. The maid was so surprised by this unexpected gesture of affection that she didn't know how to react, and then she startled when she heard Thorin chuckle softly at this outburst of childish love.

 **« I love your stories. »** Fili said with a smile. **« Can you tell me more stories, the next time I come to sleep here ? »**

 **« Of course. »** she answered, her throat tight with emotion. She stroked the boy's blond hair one last time.

 **« And Kili will come as well ! He loves to hear stories, too ! »**

 **« Whatever you want, young Master Fili. »** she answered, feeling a surge of affection for this gentle, sweet child.

He shrieked in delight, then he grabbed his uncle's hand once more. Laurelin watched them together – Thorin so big and strong and imposing, and Fili looking so small at his side. She couldn't help but smile again.

Yet Laurelin was also worried for Thorin. He looked so tired, as if he hadn't slept at all and he would probably be spending the rest of the day laboring in the forge, which was hard and physically exhausting work. He couldn't neglect himself like that. For a few moments she hesitated – maybe he wanted to talk with his sister, or to get news from his youngest nephew – but in the end she took the liberty to call him back before the reached the road.

 **« With all due respect, my King. »** she told him in a firm, but humble and soft voice. « **If you don't take the time to eat, you won't have enough strengths to work all day. You need to eat, and to take care of yourself. »**

 **« I thank you for your concern, Laurelin, but I assure you I will not die of hunger just because I have missed one meal. »** he said in a reassuring voice. **« I want Fili to be home before my sister leaves Kili alone, and then I will have to keep working on that chain mail. You know how long we've worked on it yesterday, and how little we did. We didn't even finish one sleeve. I'll have to speed up if I want to deliver it in the time limit. »**

Laurelin shrugged.

 **« Maybe I could walk Fili home, and so you will have time to eat your breakfast. »** she suggested, as she walked towards them. **« I need to leave the house anyways, to go on the market. We don't have any flour left. »**

Thorin seemed to think about it for a while, then he nodded.

 **« All right. I will be glad to accept your kind offer. »** he said with a smile. « **But keep a close eye on Fili. He tends to run off at first chance, and to get himself into trouble. »**

 **« Don't worry, my King. »** she reassured him. « **He will reach his mother's home safe and sound. »** Inwardly, she was very pleased that the king himself trusted her enough to entrust her his heir. It was a true honor, for somebody as lowborn as she was.

Fili bounced happily around Laurelin, then he took her hand eagerly.

 **« I want to see Kili ! »** he urged her.

 **« All right, we're leaving. »** she said, smiling at his eagerness. Then she gave Thorin a confident look. He nodded briefly in response.

Laurelin made sure Fili's hand remained in hers all the time while they walked in the narrow, still neglected streets of the town. Dis' home wasn't far away from the forge, barely a few streets away, so it didn't take them long to reach her house. Laurelin knocked softly, and was welcomed by a tired but smiling Dis.

 **« Mother ! »** Fili screamed, running into her open arms.

She hugged him for a long time, and when she let him go she looked at Laurelin.

 **« Thank you. »** she said. « **Thorin told me what you did for Fili yesterday, and I saw him asleep with you, and... well, he looked so peaceful and quiet that I didn't want to wake him up. I hope he didn't bother you too much. »**

 **« He didn't bother me at all. »** she assured the Lady Dis. « **May I ask you how your little Kili is feeling this morning ? »**

 **« Oh, he is absolutely fine, now. »** Dis answered. « **Oin's medicine seems to be rather efficient. He woke up this morning hungry like a wolf, and after eating he fell asleep again. Yesterday he was coughing so badly I feared for his life, but now he's almost completely recovered already. Children are amazing little creatures, sometimes. »**

She smiled fondly, and mussed Fili's hair.

 **« Fili was very worried for his little brother. »** Laurelin told him.

 **« They are very close, and it's no wonder since there are no other children of their age around here. They only have each other to play with. Whenever one of them is sick, or hurt, or distressed, it is always very difficult for the other one. That's why I was so surprised to see Fili asleep, this night. »**

 **** **« I really enjoyed spending a few hours in his company. »** she said with genuine sincerity.

Then they all heard a whimper coming from inside the house.

 **« Kili ! »** the eldest boy screamed. He hugged Laurelin around the waist, yelled a hasty good-bye, then he dashed into the house to join his little brother. A moment later, Laurelin hear Kili's cheerful giggles coming from inside the house. She bowed to Dis, smiling, then she left her house to go to the market.

After the night with Fili, several days went by without anything noticeable happening. Slowly, Thorin and Laurelin settled into a comfortable routine, and got used to living under the same roof. For Laurelin, it was reassuring to know Thorin was close, and for Thorin the maid's constant presence in the house was like a ray of sunshine. Her laughter, as she had been with Fili, still rang in his ears like a cheerful melody. Of course, there had been a few awkward moments he still remembered how shocked he had been when he had suddenly seen Laurelin's underwear hanging in the sun, right under his nose, at the most unexpected moment – but he had already gotten used to such things. All in all, he was more than glad she was here, with him. Laurelin was a cheerful, warm and soothing presence in the house. And she was always so helpful, so willing to please or to learn new things. She offered him something he had never known before : a touch of womanly softness in his life.

But in truth, what he liked most about Laurelin was the fact that she truly cared for him. She only thought about his well-being, and she had nothing to do with those other ladies who only pretended to care for him in the hope to catch his interest. Laurelin never asked anything back for her services. There was no pretense, no falsehood. She was truly kind and caring, and it was a quality that made her very endearing in Thorin's eyes.

He lifted his tiny hammer, then he hit the small copper ring, sealing it around two other rings. There was still a lot of work to dfo before it would be finished, but hopfully Laurelin would find a bit of time to help him again, as she had already done several times. Everything always seemed so much easier, so much more pleasant when she was around.

He grinned as he grabbed the next ring.

He had never felt so confident and optimistic before.


	10. FEELINGS

Nothing truly extraordinary happened during the years that followed the settlement of the Dwarves in the Blue Mountains ; slowly and quietly, the months went by, then the years. A warm and sunny autumn was followed by a very harsh winter, then an early spring that brought life back into the mountains. The community prospered thanks to the mines, that were the heart of their civilization. Money started flowing again, and the pitiful hovels they had found when they had arrived were soon replaced by more majestic homes, built by strong dwarven hands. It was still far from the glory of Erebor, but it was better than anything they had known during their years of wandering ; it was a home, a true home, a place that belonged to no one but themselves.

A year or so after their arrival, Thorin went to sit next to Laurelin, one evening. It was high summer again, and even if night had fallen the air was still hot and stifling ; the young woman had bound her hair in a bun to keep it from falling down her sticky back, and she had rolled up her sleeves. She smiled at Thorin when he sat down on the sheepskin next to her. He was all sweaty, too. His long black hair was hanging in limp strands around his face.

He sighed, then he asked her if she wanted to visit the mines with him, the next morning.

 **« Most of the steel I am working with in the forge is made of iron from these mines. »** he told her. **« We don't need to buy our raw material from the humans anymore, now, as we did before we reached these mountains. And I'd like you to come with me, tomorrow. I'd like you to listen while I talk to the foreman. He's a greedy man, and he'll try to wring as much gold out of us as possible, but we still need what he has to offer – so have to negotiate. So far I've been doing it myself, but maybe one day you'll be able to do this for me, giving me more time for actual work in the forge. »**

Laurelin was quite startled – Thorin visited the mines regularly, but never before had he asked her to come with him. She felt a shiver of excitement run down her back. No one was allowed into the mines, except the people who worked there it was a rule made to prevent the accidents that were bound to happen when unwelcome people with no experience of underground work intruded into the mines. Neither Laurelin nor any of the Dwarves living in the village had ever seen them with their own eyes, even if they had heard rumors about their grandeur. Being allowed to go in there would be a real privilege.

She didn't sleep well that nigh, her impatience growing with every hour. When morning came at last, she jumped out of her bed and dressed quicker than ever before.

Yet when they reached the mines, after a short walk through the village, one of the miners – a gruff Dwarf with a grizzled beard and bushy eyebrows – told them that the foreman was currently unavailable. They would have to wait, maybe for several hours. Laurelin expected a dready wait in some dark hall, or maybe they would go home and come back later, but Thorin surprised her when he offered her a beaming smile. She wondered what he was thinking.

 **« I'm actually glad we have some time. »** he said. **« There's something I want to show you. It's a very special place, that not many people have seen. I'm sure you will like it. »**

Laurelin was even more startled, now. She followed him without a word. At some point, they walked past a sign saying _No trespassing._

Laurelin hesitated.

 **« Can we truly go there ? »** she asked worriedly.

 **« Why not ? »** Thorin replied. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood. **« I am the King, am I not ? I can go wherever I want. It's not a piece of wood that will tell me what I can or can't do. »** Then he chuckled softly,

 **« Of course. »** she whispered, feeling a bit dumb for asking such a stupid question.

A few more stpes, and the sign was behind them, out of sight. They reached the entrance of a cave : a very narrow tunnel plunged in complete darkness. Laurelin saw nothing at all. Thorin grabbed one of the torches hanging on a wall nearby the wavering flames made shadows and light dance on the man's proud face.

 **« Close your eyes. »** he told her, and she obeyed. She was more and more puzzled by  
his attitude.

For a moment, Thorin wanted to take her hand, but then he realized it might not be appropriate to do so even if Thorin saw much more in her than just a maid, he was not sure whether the opposite was true as well. Maybe Laurelin saw no more in him than just a master. She might feel embarrassed by this contact, particularly if some miner happened to come by and see them holding hands. So he just grabbed her by the elbow, very softly, but firmly enough to reassure her. It felt strange – in a pleasant way – to see her so vulnerable in his hands. He felt flattered to see how much she trusted him. She didn't hesitate as he led her forwards, very slowly and carefully. Once or twice she stumbled upon the uneven ground, but Thorin's hand steadied her and kept her from falling.

Laurelin just followed him without a word. Even if she saw nothing, she was sure no harm would come her way as long as she was in Thorin's hands.

Soon, they reached their destination. Thorin made her stop, and the young woman could feel a cold draft of wind on her face.

 **« Open your eyes, now. »** Thorin told her, and by his tone Laurelin guessed he was smiling.

In truth, Thorin had wanted to show her this place for a long time, but there had never been a true opportunity before. And now he was impatient to see how she would react when she would discover the marvels of this hidden cave.

Laurelin opened her eyes, very slowly, not knowing what to expect. Then she gaped at the beauty of the cave. She had always imagined underground caves to be damp, dark places full of threatening shadows, but what she was now contemplating was something completely different. She had never seen something like that before. It was a subterranean forest of glittering stalactites and stalagmites in every direction, as far as the eye could see, pink and orange pillars shaped by centuries of dripping water linked the ground to the ceiling. Some of them were soft and smooth, almost graceful, while others were crooked and rough and oddly shaped one of the stalagmites looked like an old man, with legs and arms and even a grumpy wrinkled face.

 **« This is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. »** Laurelin said in a weak voice, her heart beating fast with emotion. **« It's like stepping into another world. »** She was staring wide-eyed  
at the surreal landscape around her. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. **« So much beauty hidden in the darkness... »**

Her last words had been barely audible. She was far too awed to do more than whispering. She could feel how old everything was – it must have taken hundreds, if not thousands of years to grow stalactites like these. She felt small and humble, but she smiled as her fingers brushed a damp white stone shaped like a cauliflower.

 **« And you've seen nothing yet. »** Thorin added, pleased to see that Laurelin was enjoying the visit. A broad smiled adorned her pretty face, and her eyes kept going from one rock formation to the next, as if she was trying to burn every little detail in her memory. Thorin led her along a narrow path, then over a small underground river, till they reached a second cave.

It was much smaller, but its beauty was just as breathtaking. A dozen of small rivulets joined her to form a lake its surface was smooth as a mirror, its water black and bottomless. Laurelin stepped closer, and watched her reflection on the calm water.

 **« I've heard rumors about this place, when I visited the towns of men in the valley. »** Thorin explained, kneeling on the shore to touch the water with the tip of his fingers. **« The human miners that worked here long ago believed there was magic in this water. They say you have to throw a coin in the water, and then make a wish – and the spitrits of the water that dwell here will make it come true. »** He chuckled once more. **« Men are such superstitious poeple. »** he added, bet he still seized a tiny copper coin from his pocket and tossed it into the dark water.

Laurelin smiled as she watched him.

 **« What did you wish for ? »** she asked softly.

Thorin shrugged, and his only answer was an enigmatic smile.

Laurelin knelt next to Thorin, in silence. She had a few worthless coppers in her pocket, too. She picked one, then she threw it into the water her eyes were fixed on the graceful ripples it created on the surface of the water. Then she looked at Thorin, with a soft smile on her face.

 **« What did you wish for ? »** he asked, smiling as well. Even though he was truly curious about her wish, he had only asked this question to tease her, because she had asked the same earlier. He knew she would probably not answer such a personal question.

 **« My mother always told me that if you speak a wish aloud, it can't come true. »** she said, wondering if the spirits of this lake would really grant her what she so desperately desired. She closed her eyes for a few moments, savoring the silence and the stillness of this world of stone.

A few moments later, they heard steps behind them, and soon the old foreman who was in charge of the mines joined them. He was short and sturdy, with streaks of white in his huge red beard. His head was almost bald, and his hands were twice as big as Laurelin's.

 **« I have time for you, now. »** he said humbly to Thorin, bowing deeply.

They walked away from the cave – Laurelin shot one last glance at the lake, wondering whether she would ever see it again – then she followed both man in silence. They didn't take the same path they had taken to come here, but a small meandering road that led them to the habitable parts of the mines, where the miners lived when they were not at work. Living rooms and bedchambers and kitchens had been carved directly into the stone, and no light from the outside ever shone here. Laurelin knew that sometimes they could spend a fortnight – or even months – underground without coming out of the mountain, and she wondered how they survived without seeing the light of the sun for such a long period.

They reached the foreman's office, a small chamber with rough walls carved into the rocks, too. Maps and charts and rolled-up parchments were cluttering the heavy oaken desk, but the Dwarf just shoved everything aside, and invited Thorin and Laurelin to sit down. The chair was not particularly comfortable, but Laurelin didn't say a word.

Thorin and the old foreman talked about the cave-in that happened a few days ago, and about plans to dig new tunnels in the eastern section of the mines they talked about the purity of copper and iron ore, and about how thze safety of the workers could be improved by reinforcing some of the most dangerous tunnels with wooden pillars. The discussed the productivity of the mines, and the wealth it would bring them in the years to come. Laurelin listened to them with rapt attention, trying to remembere everything, for an hour or so. And then it came to negotiation. At first, the foreman asked for an exorbitant price, leaving Laurelin speechless – was Thorin not the King ? The one who had led them all here ? Did he not deserve to get some special treatment ? Was that Dwarf really so greedy ? But soon, she saw that Thorin was not ready to let himself be walked over by the other one. Laurelin admired him as he negotiated in a voice both firm and persuasive, till in the end he obtained what he wanted : a faire price for what he needed. Then they signed a contract in black ink, and shook hands.

 **« I will see it delivered to your forge. »** the foreman said with a repsectful nod.

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin replied.

Once everything was settled, Thorin took Laurelin with him to visit the mines. Soon, the young woman got lost in the contemplation of this underworld. Hundreds of tunnels opened in each wall – some of them lit with torches and full of miners at work, other pitch dark and silent as a tomb. Suspended bridges of rope and planks allowed the workers to go from one place to the other, and at some point the found a hole in the ground that looked like the mouth of some giant monster – dark and foreboding. Laurelin shivered, and hurried past the opening without looking at it.

Miners were bustling like ants all around them, looking small and unsignifiant compared to the vastness of this place.

 **« Time to leave. »** Thorin decided, once they had done a quick tour of the upper levels. **« There's much more to see, but I have work wiating for me at the forge, and I cannot lose any more time. And I cannot allow you to stay here alone, either. It's far too dangerous. If you're interested in seeing more we maycome backanother day, but for now I have an axe to finish. »**

Laurelin nodded, and a few moments later they emerged into the sunlight again. It was so blinding, after the darkness of the mines, that Laurelin had to blink for a few seconds. Then they walked home together.

 **« So. »** Thorin started, once they were inside, sheltered from the sweltering heat outside. **« What did you think of the mines ? »**

 **« It's a very impressive place, »** she admitted. **« Yet what I liked best was not the mines. It was the small acve with the stalactites, and the black lake. It was so... so unreal... Almost too beautiful to be true... »** The pictures of the cave came back to her mind, all these shades of orange and pink and brown, and the flickering light of the flames making it all look almost alive.

When Thorin saw her dreamy eyes, he realized how much she had truly appreciated. He couldn't help but smile. She was so easy to please most women expected jewels and treasures and outrageously expensive dresses, but Laurelin was happy with almost nothing. It was a quality he appreciated. She was easy to live with, and not once – since she had moved into the forge – had he felt the slightest regret about this decision.

 **« I always imagined caves to be dreadful places, but today I changed my mind about them, »** she admitted. **« Thank you for showing me, my King. »**

 **« My pleasure, Laurelin, »** he replied curteously.

She looked him into the eyes, and they shared a smile of complicity.

When the heat of the summer receded, replaced by a warm glowing autmun that turned the forests into flaming landscapes, there was another event that Laurelin remembered quite clearly. She had left the forge in company of Thorin, but soon the King of the Dwarves left her alone to talk with an old friend of his. Laurelin decided to go for a walk on the northern border of town there, she gathered bramble leaves to dry – she would use them this winter, in her tea, to cure cough and sore throats – and gather some late flowers for her grand-mother's tomb. When her basket was full, she decided it was time to walk home. She enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her face.

And then, as she walked past the seamstress' shop, and her heart suddenly missed a beat when she saw all the gorgeous dresses spread in the morning light. They were dressed made for ladies, for sure – rich fabrics of silk and velvet and lace, and tight bodices embroidered with golden thread, and long ornate sleeves that flowed gracefully around the wrist... The colors were like a feast for the eye : emerald and blood red, deep blue and turquoise, shimmering black and creamy white with iridescent glints...

The woman who will wear those will feel like princesses, she reflected.

Laurelin stepped closer, and suddenly she remembered all the pretty ladies of Erebor, as she had known them before Smaug's attack. They were so gorgeous, so elegant... So refined in their adorned dresses, with braids and beads in their hair... Laurelin lowered her eyes, feeling suddenly very sad. _That's how a true woman is supposed to look,_ she realized. _That's what I should look like, too, if I want to catch the eye of a decent man._ Very briefly, Thorin's picture flickered in her mind, before disappearing again when Laurelin's fingers brushed the rich, flowing velvet of a silvery dress.

She sighed, then she walked home in silence, so distracted that she didn't even recognize the neighbor woman when she walked past her.

Once she was inside the house, she climbed the stairs an spread the bramble leaves on the small worktable she had retrived from one of the empty bedrooms the sun was shining on it through the window, so they would dry well. Then, as she was about to walk out, she suddenly grabbed her small cracked mirror and watched her own reflection. She didn't like what she saw – her unappealing slender silhouette lacked the opulent shapes of a true Dwarf-woman... Her face was weathered from spending too much time outside, tending the garden or washing the clothes at the river... Her hands were rough and callused from work... Her hair looked better than it had during their exile, yet it was still flat and dull... Her dress was old and worn and shapeless, making her look like a scarecrow... Of course, most other women of the village worked hard and looked like this, too – she was no exception – yet Laurelin couldn't help but compare herself to the highborn ladies she had seen during her childhood in Erebor. And the Lady Dis, too, that she saw at least twice a week.

 _I am no more than a dull and pathetic semblance of a woman._ She realized. Her eyes listened, then filled with tears. How could any decent man ever see her as a woman worthy of interest ? There was nothing remarkable about her.

At this moment, she heard the door open as Thorin came home. She pictured him in her head, so tall and strong and handsome. He was not for her, and he would never be. A single tear ran down her peachy cheeks, then she rubbed it awya with her sleeve, put a forced smile on her face, and climbed down the stairs to start cooking the midday meal.

 _That's all I will ever have._ She reflected bitterly. _My work, and my chores._

After the autimn came the winter. A harsh winter, as usual for the poeple who lived at high altitude. Snow started falling in october, thick and heavy. Cold winds blew between the white peaks of the Blue Mountains, and every morning the windows of the forge were covered in a thick layer of frost. It's during this winter that Laurelin met Vilmar.

Thorin knew that Dwarf well. He was a hunter, one of those Dwarves who had settled in the steep alpine forests, on the western slope of the mountain, instead of living with the others in the village. Usually they kept to themselves, and showed little to no interest in things like gold or jewels. They survived in the woods thanks to the game they hunted, and they got what little money they needed by selling trophies or horns or furs or leather. The most valued trophy was mouflon horns, because these animals lived so high in the mountains and could climb so agilely that killing them was extremely difficult. These hunters only visited the village when they needed to by the rare things nature didn't provide for them, and that's how Vilmar ended up in Thorin's forge one morning – to order a set of new arrowheads.

The first time he came, Thorin was not there so it was up to Laurelin to welcome him. He talked with her for a while, with a charming smile on his face, then he said he would come back later. The second time he came, a few hours later, Thorin was there but Vilmar still insisted to share some words with Laurelin after he was finished talking with the King.

And after that, he came almost every day, on the pretense of giving Thorin explanations about what he wanted his arrowheads to look like – but it was obvious to everybody that the real reason behind his visits was Laurelin.

At first, Thorin didn't like this intrusion. He knew most of the hunters were humble and decent folk, and this one in particular had never given him any reason to doubt his honesty, yet whenever Thorin saw him talking to Laurelin he felt a pang of dislike. He had not forgotten what had happened to her all those years ago, and he didn't want soemthing similar to happen once more. She had endured anough pain and hardship. She really didn't need to suffer yet another blow. Sometimes, it made him so uneasy to see her with this man that it haunted his nights he tossed and turned in his bed, unable to find sleep or to forget Laurelin's smile as she looked at Vilmar. And what about that one time she had laughed at one of Vilmar's jests ? This feeling of uneasiness was burning in him day and night, like red-hot iron, and filled even the happiest moments of his live with gloom.

Sometimes he questioned himself, wondering why he was feeling such things, and at first he thought he had found the answer – because he cared for her. He wanted her to be safe and protected. Yet after a few days, he realized it was more than just that. He didn't have a name for what he was feeling – because it was something he had never felt before, for anybody – but it made him want to kick the intruder out of his forge at once.

As for Laurelin, Thorin couldn't really tell whether she appreciated him or not. She was always polite and smiling, of course, but she always kept a safe distance between them, too – did she do so because she was too shy to relax in his presence ? Or because she wasn't enjoying his presence ? Did she want Thorin to help her drive him away ? Did she want a few hour's leave to spend more time with the Dwarf ? She was, after all, old enough to be courted now. She may be looking for a husband to found a family. She may like this Dwarf. Or she may not.

Thorin was so confused about it - and since he didn't like to be confused – he decided to talk to her one evening.

 _Let's clear it up, so at least I will know how to react next time he shows up._

Laurelin had just left her usual spot in front of the fire, and was about to go upstairs, when Thorin called her back.

 **« Laurelin ? »** he called softly. **« Can I have an honest talk with you ? »**

 **« Of course, my King. »** she said, a bit surprised and worried. Did she do something wrong, perhaps ?

 **« I have seen you talking to Vilmar this morning. »** he started very gently, to make sure she didn't take it as a rebuke or something like that. **« He's coming here very often, these day, and we both know it's not my swords or my arrowheads that interest him. »**

 **« I... yes. »** she said, but she didn't know how to continue. Talking about that made her horribly uncomfortable. **« He's been here almost every day. He never said it plainly, but he... he made it clear he has some interest in me. »**

Thorin felt a flash of anger as he heard those words, but he refrained himself from showing it. In truth, he didn't have reason at all to be angry, did he Vilmar was just a man being nice to a woman he liked. There was nothing wrong with this. And besides, he didn't want to upset Laurelin by acting rashly in front of her, or by letting her believe she had done anything to annoy him.

Laurelin blushed. Somehow – and even though she felt no attraction to Vilmar – she was flattered. It was the first time a man was showing some interest towards her. She could still remember the man's lingering gazes, the way he smiled kindly at her, the pleasant words he told her... Once, he had even brought her a tiny cat carved into the horn of a chamois. Anybody would have guessed his feelings towards Laurelin. Even the neighbours had noticed, and had congratulated Laurelin about catching the interest of such a handsome Dwarf.

 **« And may I ask you how you feel about this ? »** Thorin said, with a worried frown on his face. **« I don't want to intrude into your private life, Laurelin. You owe me no explanations, no justifications. And you are free to do as it pleases you, of course. I just wanted to make sure he isn't bothering you. »**

 **« No, he isn't. »** Laurelin told him honestly. **« I am not interested by him, as a... potential partner. But he is kind, and curteous, and talking with him is pleasant enough. He's never given me any reason to be wary. »**

 **« Then I have no reason to worry ? »**

 **« No reason to worry, my King. »** she assured him with a smile. She was pleased to see him so protective towards her. It made her feel safe.

 **« If anything changes, though, I would love you to come and tell me. »** Thorin said, unable to stop worrying. **« If he starts being too insistant, or bothersome, or even threatening... If he does anything unpleasant, I want you to come straight to me, and he will never come close to you again. »**

 **« I will, my King. »** she said.

 **« Good. »** He paused, then he sighed. **« I'm glad we talked about it, Laurelin. At least everything is clear, now. »**

Laurelin nodded approvingly, then they exchanged one last look before the young woman went to bed upstairs.

Thorin felt a strange kind of relief as she left. The idea that she may like this other Dwarf, and leave the forge to live with him in the forest, had been been gnawing at him for days. He couldn't imagine his life here without Laurelin, and he could even less imagine her in the arms of another Dwarf. He was greatly relieved to hear that none of this would happen, and for the first time in days he knew he would be able to sleep soundly.

Vilmar came once more on the following day, then the day after, and then slowly he realized it was hopeless. He came less and less frequently, till one day he stopped visiting Laurelin completely. The young woman woman felt a bit sad about it, because she liked talking to him, but she was also relieved. She knew her feelings towards him would never change, so she was glad he stopped wasting his time on somebody who would never be able to give him what he was looking for.

 _Now he is free to find himself another woman,_ she thought, and she wished him all the good luck in the world.

A few weeks later, as winter reached its height, something happened that marked a true change in the relationship between Thorin and Laurelin. They day had been awful snow and icy cold winds, and the grounds frozen as hard as stone. It was warm enough in the forge and in the adjoining house, but Thorin had been outside all day long, to help the loggers in their negotiations with the humans. He came home frozen to the bone his lips were chapped, his fingers stiff with cold and his feet so frozen they had become numb. He was not frail man, yet he was shivering from head to toe. Even before food, he asked for a hot bath. Laurelin hurried to prepare it for him there was warm water on the hearth already, but she still needed to haul bucket after bucket upstairs, to Thorin's bedroom. She poured it into the tub, and soon the room was filled with hot steam.

When she was finished, she found Thorin and told him the bath was ready.

 **« Thank you. »** he said with a weak smile. He started climbing the stairs, very slowly. When he reached the middle of the staircase, he turned around. **« Laurelin... Would you mind helping me to remove my boots ? My fingers are so cold and stiff. I won't be able to open all the buckles by myself. »**

 **« Of course, my King. »** she said.

She entered into Thorin's bedroom with him, and when he sat on his bed she quickly opened the buckles of his boots, as he had asked her. She could feel how cold his skin was, underneath the wool of his thick socks.

When she was done, she walked out again, but just before she reached the door she remembered the old times, in Erebor – and how the servants used to help their masters in the bath. She just felt like Thorin could need some extra care, today. He looked so weary, so exhausted. First she hesitated – could she realy ask something like that ? How would he react ? Would he see this as an intrusion in his private life ? She feared he would take this as some sort of depravity towards him, even though it was not her intent at all.

Then she decided to take her courage in both hands.

 **« My King... You look so tired tonight. »** she started shyly. **« You need to rest, and to relax. Maybe... »** She cleared her throat, and continued. **« Do you wish me to wash your back, and help you wash your hair ? I know that's what the servants used to do, in Erebor. »** He looked at her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Laurelin blushed. **« I don't want to force my company on you after such a long hard day. I just want to help you feel better. »** she added hastily. Then she lowered her eyes, and cursed herself for making this suggestion. She shouldn't have talked so impudently.

Thorin sighed, and didn't answer immediatly. He gave himself time to think about it. He wondered why she asked this now, after so many years ; did she pity him ? Did she feel pressured into doing this ? Did she think she had no other choice, since she had seen other servants do this years  
ago in Erebor ?

 **« I know you are kind, and I know you want to help, but I don't want you to do something you are uncomfortable with. »** He paused. **« It's your choice, and I won't blame you if you don't feel up to doing what other servants did in Erebor. To be honest, I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, and I would gladly accept yout offer – but only if you think you can do it without feeling ill at ease, or anything. There is no pressure on you, no duty whatsoever »**

 **« I will gladly do anything that helps you feel better. »** she said with genuine kindness. Thenshe added in a timid voice : **« And well... You're no stranger to me, my King. I have no reasons to be uncomfortable in your presence. »**

Thorin smiled.

 **« No, we're definitely not strangers. »** he agreed amiably. He was pleased to see that the young woman was truly relaxed and comfortable. Playing the stern and commanding master who frightened his serving people, like some other Dwarf-lords liked to do, had never appealed to him he wanted the people who work for him to trust him, and appreciate his company. And obviously, judging by Laurelin's behavior, he had succeeded. She was calm and smiling, and being around her felt like true friends being in each other's company. It was a pleasant feeling. Very pleasant. He smiled, and removed the boots she had opened for him. His fingers were starting to warm up. The pain was awful, but he knew it would get better soon.

Before Thorin even said a word to her, Laurelin walked out of the bedroom to give him privacy while he undressed, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. She prepared the table for Thorin's dinner, after the bath, and when she was done she knocked at his door.

 **« Can I enter, my King ? »** she asked softly.

When Thorin answered yes, she opened the door and entered. He was sitting in his tub, and only the upper half of his body was visible the rest was hidden underneath the surface of the hot water. Yet it was enough to make her feel slightly giddy she hadn't seen him like that since the day she had cared for her wounds, after the battle of the Moria. She could see his skin, and his muscles, and his battle scars. For a brief moment, she froze and didn't know what to do, then suddenly she remembered her duties – but she carefully avoided to let her gaze linger on the man's bare chest. She was too respectful and well-mannered to act in a way that could be interpreted as inappropriate.

She grabbed the soap and the washing cloth, and sat on a small stool behind him.

 **« Is the water warm enough ? »** she asked.

 **« It's perfect. »** he replied in deep, weary voice.

 **« I'm going to wash your back, now. »** she informed him, then she started washing him.

She started by removing Thorin's hair from his shoulders, then her soft and warm hands made contact with his cold skin. Laurelin felt a brief but violent shiver run across her whole body. She started rubbing his back, but her touch was so soft and delicate that it felt more like a caress than a tre scrubbing. She could feel how stiff his muscles were under his skin, then she felt him relax slightly as she kept frictioning his back. The scent of the perfumed soap was helping, too, as well as the warmth of the water.

At first, Thorin barely felt her light touch, but then slowly her hands grew firmer, stronger, and he closed his eyes to savor the moment. It was nice to be sitting here in the hot water, with the smells of soap floating in the air, and nothing to do but to let his mind drift off. It was a real privilege, he realized. Something he had lost with the fall of Erebor, and that he was glad to have again, now. And the fact that it was Laurelin, and not just a mere servant, made it even better – he would have felt uneasy if some stranger had intruded into his intimacy and touched him in such a way, which would have taken away some of the pleasure. But from Laurelin he could accept it without the situation being awkward. Her hands moved as if she knew exactly what he needed, almost as if she could read in his mind. It was the most pleasant feeling in the world. He wanted it to last forever.

When she was done, she put back the washing clothes and grabbed a small wooden cup. She filled it with water, then she poured it onto Thorin's head, that he had docilely leaned back. His hair was long and thick, as black as a crow's wings. Laurelin applied a thick coat of soap on them, then she rubbed it thoroughly for a few minutes. Thorin didn't speak his eyes were closed, and Laurelin guessed he was already half-asleep. She didn't want to disturb him with her chattering, so she kept silent as well, enjoying this new task more than she should have. She also took the time to rub his scalp, very softly, with infinite delicacy, from his forehead to his neck.

She finished by washing the soap off his hair, very carefully, making sure the warm water didn't run down his face, before running water down his chest and back, to warm him up. She was pleased to hear him sigh in contentment.

 **« I am finished, my King. »** she said gently, a few minutes later.

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin said in a sleepy voice, barely more than a whisper. **« It was very kind of you. »**

She was smiling, happy that Thorin had appreciated her ministrations.

 **« I will prepare the dinner now. »** she said. **« Everything will be ready by the time you are finished. I've prepared you a set of warm, comfortable clothes. They're on your bed, right there. »**

 **« Thank you. »** he repeated, and this time a tiny smile turned up the corners of his lips.

She walked to the door, then she turned around one last time. She didn't look at him directly – it would have been rude to stare at him while he was undressed – but she pointed at the towel that hung over the back of a chair, where Thorin could reach it when he would get out of the bath.

 **« I warmed it next to the fire. »**

Thorin heaved a deep sigh of contentment.

 **«** **I don't know what I would do without you, Laurelin.** **»** he said, and he truly meant it. She was ever so helpful. His life would have been a good deal harder if she had not been standing at his side, ready to satisfy his every needs.

Then she left his bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Once the door was closed, Thorin opened his eyes again, and watched longingly at the place where Laurelin had been standing moments before. Her presence had been soothing and relaxing, and the room suddenly felt very cold now that she was gone. Very lonely, too. He took a deep breath, and in spite of his exhaustion he hurried to finish his bath, so he would be able to join her in the kitchen as soon as possible.

On the other side of the door, Laurelin sighed as she descended the stairs to go into the kitchen. She could still feel his skin under her fingers, at first so cold, then warm and pleasantly soft... And his muscles, too... Years and years of sword practice had left their mark on him, shaping his body to something that was close to perfection. Being so close to him had been pleasant... Not only close like two friends, like they had been before – but physically close... She had enjoyed this new taks, and she hoped she had been good at it, good enough for Thorin to ask it from her again, in the future.

The only dark cloud that marred her happiness, that night, was the amount of scars she had seen on Thorin's body. Sword scars gathered during the battles. Some of them she had bandaged herself, so many years ago, after the battle of Azanulbizar... Others were even older, and some were still quite fresh... There had been a small skirmish with a group of human smugglers, a few months ago...

 _He deserves some peace and quiet in his life, now,_ Laurelin reflected as she stirred the pot of stew. _He's had enough of battles and violence._


	11. TEACHING

More years went by, without anything noticeable happening in Thorin or Laurelin's lives. Laurelin was doing her work in the house and in the garden, and helping Thorin with the bath had become a daily task as well, although it was a pleasant one, involving warm water and scented soap. It was better – by far – than toiling in the muddy earth to grow vegetables, or scrubbing the filthy kitchen floor after she had accidentally spilled food on it. She also helped Thorin as much as she could in the forge. She learned to buy the right tools for Thorin, to negotiate with the miners – something she turned out to be quite good at, in spite of her shyness – and she also helped him more directly in his work ; her slender and agile fingers were good at assembling ringlets for chain mails, but Thorin also taught her to engrave tiny, delicate ornaments into the steel. Sometimes she etched dwarvish runes of good-luck and protection into the blade of a sword, or the name of the owner, but most of the times it was just pretty adornments made to embellish the weapon, without any real signification. She loved doing this, because she always felt so proud when she watched the finished blade with her own little touch on them.

One day, as Thorin received an important order from the Men in the valley below, he just shoved it into Laurelin's hands.

 **« My hands are covered in soot and sweat, but I'm curious to know what they want of me. I don't want to wait till the end of the day. Would you read it for me, please ? »** he asked the young woman.

Laurelin froze it didn't last long, but it was pretty obvious. She lowered her gaze on Thorin's workbench.

Surprised by such an hesitation, Thorin watched her intently.

 **« I can't... »** Laurelin said at last. It was the very first time, in all those years she had worked for him, that she told him these words. They were horribly hard to say. They made her feel so embarrassed. **« I'm sorry, my King... but I can't. I'm sorry. »**

Her throat was so tight with shame that she could barely speak.

Baffled by her behaviour, Thorin put the pair of pliers he was holding in his filthy hands onto the bench. Never before had she refused him anything. Never. Not even once. It was so unlike her, to act like that, that he couldn't help but feel worried.

 **« Is everything all right ? »** he asked her, trying to meet her gaze but she kept her eyes low, showing him nothing but the top of her head.

Laurelin shook her head, but she knew it would not be enough to reassure him. Confronted to her obvious distress, he would not let her go away without doing his best to make her feel better about whatever was bothering her. She knew she had no other choice but to tell him the truth, no matter how hard it was.

 **« I... I can't read. »** she admitted, her cheeks turning a violent shade of red. Tears of shame and humiliation welled up in her big brown eyes.

It took Thorin a few moments to realize what she had just told him, then he cursed himself for being so clumsy. He should have known. Dwarf born in humble families, like Laurelin, most often didn't have the chance to learn their letters. He should have known better than to put her in such an embarrassing position, ordering her to do something she had never been taught, and giving her no other choice but to refuse. He apologized several times, trying to convey to her how sorry he truly was, and then he assured her she had absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.

Laurelin nodded, but it was pretty clear to Thorin that she was still feeling very embarrassed about it. He didn't like seeing her so ill at ease in his presence. Guilt and compassion both flooded his heart. He tried to find a way to make her feel better, but he didn't come up with anything - so he just watched her walk away, feeling horribly guilty.

It's only hours later, as he was finishing a heavy battle-axe for one of his own warrior, that he came up with the solution that might solve the problem.

He dropped his tools at once and went looking for Laurelin. He found her in the kitchen, preparing a tasty stew with beef and carrots for dinner. She didn »t look up at him. Her eyes kept eluding his gaze.

 **« Laurelin, please look at me. »** he pleaded. It hurt him to see her like that. **« Please. Don't be ashamed of yourself. Yoi have no reason to be. You did nothing wrong. »**

After a long while, she looked up at him at last, very hesitantly.

 **« My King ? »** she asked, even more shyly than usual.

Thorin took a deep breath to gather his courage, then he continued :

 **« Laurelin, while I was working out there... I had an idea... I don't know what you will think of it, but well... there's something I want to ask you. »** A smile was slowly growing on his lips. **« You told me you've never learned to read, or to write... I should have known, and I apologize once more for putting you in such a situation. It was all my fault, and I want to make up for that mistake. I also want to give you something that will make your life both easier and more pleasant. »** Her eyes met Thorin's at last. **« Laurelin, would you like me to teach you to read ? »**

The young woman was so startled she didn't know what to answer, at first. She wasn't even sure she had truly understood his words – maybe her ears had deceived her ?

The she saw the sincerity in Thorin's eyes.

 **« You... you would really do this... for me ? »** she said unbelievingly, her voice so weak it was almost inaudible. Tears of emotion filled her eyes. **« I... I would love to learned the letters. »** She continued. **« To read, and to write, and maybe even the numbers... »** A shiver of excitement ran down her spine. **« It would really be an honour to learn all these things from you, my King. And promise you I will always do my best to learn as quickly as possible. »**

She couldnt help but smile as enthusiasm suddenly overwhelmed her.

 **« Maybe we can start tonight, when we are both done with our chores ? »** Thorin suggested, amused – and pleasantly surprised – by the eagerness he saw in Laurelin.

 **« It would be wonderful. »** she agreed, while stirring the stew.

In her mind, she already saw herself reading Thorin's letters for him, or writing to his important clients, or making lists of everything they needed... Maybe she could even do the book-keeping for him... Every new skill she could learn was welcome, particularly when it was such a useful skill. It would indeed make her life much easier.

She thanked Thorin several times, then they both went back to theit tasks.

Thorin cleaned the blade of the ax he had just finished, till it was sparkling, then he left the forge to deliver it to its new owner, at the other end of the village. He was feeling happy – truly happy, as he had not been in a very long time. He was really looking forward to spend the evening with Laurelin, like a child who is impatient to open his presents on his birthday.

He smiled to no one in particular, and admired the beauty of the blue sky as he walked through the village.

That evening, when they were both finished with their chores, after dinner and bath, they sat in front of the fire, on a thick bear fur Thorin had accepted as a gift from the hunters a few days earlier. They could have sat at the table, but since Laurelin loved to sit in front of the fire Thorin had chosen to giver her the lessons there, to be sure it would be as pleasant as possible for her. In front of them, there was a roll of old parchment covered in letters and runes the black ink stood out on the white paper, and Laurelin admired the beautiful, rounded shapes of the letters, as well as the sharper, geometrical edges of the dwarvish runes. She was curious to start the lesson, and to learn what significance was hiding behind each of them.

Then Thorin pointed at the first letter with his finger. Laurelin smiled, and listened to his deep, soft voice as he taught her with infinite patience the name and spelling of each lettter, each rune. She was determined to learn as much as possible, as quick as possible – not only to prove him she was attentive and clever, but also because she was eager to use these new skills in her daily life. She did her best to remember even the tiniest bits of information Thorin was giving her, but in truth she enjoyed the closeness with Thorin just as much as she enjoyed the knowledge he was offering her. He was still smelling of the wildflower-scented soap she had bought for him several days ago, and she could feel his breath brush her hair everytime he breathed out, making it dance around her face. It was a pleasant sensation to be sitting next to him like that – pleasant and comfortable, and she was almost disappointed when Thorin declared it was time to go to bed.

The next day, as well as every following day for a period that lasted approximately six months, Thorin and Laurelin sat together to teach and learn. During the first days, Thorin used to be a bit hesitant – he had never done something like that before – but soon he came to enjoy those quiet moments with Laurelin. He liked having her sitting so close to him, with a smile on her lips and a look of concentration on her beardless face. She was working hard to be a good pupil, it was obvious every time she mastered a new word, her big brown eyes shone with pride. Thorin loved to watch her when she was so pleased with herself. Even when he was exhausted after a particularly hard day, he still made sure he spent at least a bit of time with Laurelin, because his evenings would have felt very empty indeed without this. Sometimes, on very bad days when the burden of being a king was too hard to bear, the only thing that gave him the strength to not give up was the prospect of seeing Laurelin after the nightfall.

For Laurelin too, these lessons became an important part of her life. She always did her best she was not afraid to take initiatives or to try reading new words, even if she was not sure about the pronunciation. She knew Thorin would neither judge her, nor laught at her attempts. She trusted him, and that trust gave her the confidence to progress as fast as she did.

After six months, Thorin declared that she knew everything there was to know, and that he had nothing to teach her anymore. She immediately suggested to her King that she could read his mail for him, from now on, and he was glad to accept. She had this particular smile every time she opened one of his letters... such a pretty, endearing smile... Thorin couldn't get enough of it, because her good mood was always so contagious it could drive away Thorin's darkest thoughts and bring back a smile on his face, no matter how bad the day had been.

A few days later, Thorin came home one evening with a beautiful quill, a bottle of ink and a roll of cheap parchment.

 **« After reading, maybe you also want to learn writing ? »** He asked, as he offered her the presents he had bought for her.

Laurelin was touched by Thorin's kindness, and she promised him she would always take good care of her new tools. Then she told him how happy it would make her to take more lessons with him writing was the logical continuation of reading.

They started that same evening. Thorin started by writing the letters himself, and by asking her to watch how he was doing it. Then he asked her to copy these letters the easiest letters and runes she drew alone, so concentrated on her task that she completely forgot about everything else. Sometimes she even forgot to breathe, and it was only when the letter was finished, still glistening with black ink on the piece of parchment, that she did remember to take in some air. When they took on more complicated letters, Thorin put his big hand over Laurelin's to guide it, and they wrote together. Thorin greatly enjoyed this physical contact with her her hand was rough and a bit coarse, but it was also small and frail, and pleasantly warm. He always felt very reluctant to let her go once the letter was finished, but he didn't want her to feel ill at ease so he never allowed the contact to last longer than what was necessary.

All in all, it didn't take Laurelin very long to master this new skill as well – three months, maybe four. So they moved on to the numbers. This was harder for Laurelin she had learned to count, of course, because it was something she needed in her daily life. So many eggs to buy on the market, so many copper coins to pay for a chicken... But it was very basic, and she still had a lot to learn. It took them a while, but Laurelin was determined and very enthusiastic, and in the end she managed to master the numbers as well.

When Thorin realized he had no more reasons to spend time with Laurelin, he suddenly felt very sad. Going back to his lonely evenings, without Laurelin's amiable presence, would be very  
hard indeed.

 **« I am very proud of you. »** He said with a kind smile, after he had rolled the last piece of parchment. **« Not so long ago you expressed your desire to do the book-keeping for me, and I will be more than happy to accept. It will be a great help for me, since I have no love for numbers. I know how to addition or substract them, but I take no enjoyment in working with them – unlike you. It's pretty obvious you love the numbers. I'm sure you will appreciate this new responsibility. »**

Laurelin smiled broadly, and nodded.

 **« It would make me very happy indeed. »** she agreed.

 **« And there is something else I want to tell you, Laurelin., »** Thorin said, with a warm smile. **« I have a collection of books upstairs, in my bedroom – I am sure you know what I'm talking about. And you are free, now that you can read, to choose any book from my collection, since you seem to take so much pleasure from reading. I am sure you will greatly enjoy them. »** He paused, then he ran the tip of his tongue over his dry lips. He hesitated. He was not sure how she would react to his next words. He did not want to make her feel ill at ease. Yet he said it anyways. **« You are more than welcome to read those books here, in the warmth of the fire, where I can help you if you need it. »** He paused again. **« I... I have grown quite fond of those moments we shared here, every evening. I would miss them if you... if you decided to spend your evenings in your own bedroom. »** He cleared his throat. **« There is no obligation, of course, and if you feel the need for some privacy while you read you are free to join your chamber. But if you want to read here, well, I want you to know that you are welcome and I will definitely not see it as an intrusion from your part. »** He realized this last sentence may have sounded a bit cold. **« It would actually make me very happy if you chose to come here to read, because I really appreciate your company and I would certainly miss it if you decided to read upstairs, in your bedroom. »**

He feared he had said too much, yet she didn't seem upset or ill at ease. She blushed, of course, but a shy smile blossomed on her thins lips.

 **« It would please me too, to read those books next to you, on this bear skin where I feel so cosy and comfortable. »** she replied, her smile growing wider. **« I also loved the moments we shared while you were teaching me. I would miss them, too. »**

Thorin was happy to see her so enthusiastic. Her smile was beaming, and it warmed his heart. He had taught her because reading and writing were useful skills, of course – but also because he truly liked her and he wanted to do something kind for her. It made him feel happy to see she appreciated it as much as he had hoped.

Weeks and months went by, and soon, Laurelin had read all the books on Thorin's shelves, so he bought her new ones whenever he had the chance every time, he was rewarded by grateful smiles. Her enthusiasm and impatience, and the eagerness with which she started reading them as soon as she found the time for such trivial occupations, were the proof of how much she appreciated these new additions. Thorin learned what kind of books she loved, and what she didn't like, and his heart also filled with joy when they spend hours discussing about one or another book they had both read. Laurelin had an opinion on everything, and could chatter endlessly about the passages or the characters he had enjoyed. Her knowledge in gardening and growing medical plants increased as well, and she started doing her own herbarium.

Sometimes Thorin watched her from afar as whe was reading, and he felt proud of himself. _I am the one who taught her,_ he reflected. Of course, he hadn't done it to get anything back from her, it had been completely selfless, yet seeing her like that was a form of reward. Usually she was always scrubbing and cooking and working, so it was nice to see her doing something for her own pleasure, sometimes. She was very pretty, when she was curled up in a ball on the bear skin, so relaxed and content, with a faintsmile on her face as her eyes ran endlessly from the left to the right of the pages.

She looks happy, when she is reading, and Mahal knows she needs such small moments of happiness.

But what Thorin didn't know, was that reading was not the only thing that made Laurelin happy. Of course she enjoyed the words and the stories and all the emotions it wakened in her, but what she liked even more was Thorin's closeness. He didn't sit next to her, as he did when he taught her to read, but he was always in the same room. Sometimes when she was finished, the talked what she had just read, and even though they sometimes had very different opinions on things, Laurelin grealy enjoyed discussing it with him. The smiles and the looks they shared on these occasions were a balm to her scorched heart, and slowly the loneliness that used to weigh on her shoulders grew fainter, easier to bear.

A few months later, when Thorin came home after a visit to Balin, he found on his anvil a pair of heavy leather gloves and an apron, brand new and still smelling of the oil that had been used to treat the leather. Surprised, he grabbed them and inspected them – end then he saw the small piece of paper that was hung with a piece of string around one of the fingers. He recognized Laurelin's elegant, meticulous handwriting. Four words, no more. _Thank you, my King,_ she had written. He understood the gloves and the apron were presents she had bought him. At first he didn't understand why she thanked him – he had done nothing remarkable, these last days – then he figured it out at last. His eyes fell down on the piece of parchment again and he smiled as he saw the beautiful letters. She was so good that non one could have guessed she was new at writing. Then Thorin's smile froze as he inspected the gloves : They were made of excellent leather, both supple and strong. And the apron was just as wonderful. He knew the price for such items, and he cringed as he imagined Laurelin parting from so many personal coins just to buy him these.

Since he knew Laurelin was not at home, he resumed the work he had put aside when he had left for Balin's house – but in truth he was watching out for the young woman's return. He tried on his new gloves, and was pleasantly surprised by how well they fitted his hands the old pair he had bought years and years ago was now worn and torn and patched up in several places, and had barely protected his hands anymore. It was a real pleasure for Thorin to slip his big hands into this new pair, on to work with them. They felt like a second skin, and wearing them was so comfortable he almost forgot he was wearing gloves. The apron was thick and heavy, coated with several protective layers that would protect him effectively against the sparks that flew in every direction every time his hammer hit the red-hot steel.

When Thorin heard Laurelin's light steps in the living quarters attached to the forge, he quickly finished what he was doing and then, when the steel turned black and hard again, he put it on his workbench with infinite precautions. He could finish later. He hurried into the kitchen to seek out Laurelin. He was still wearing the gloves and the apron, to show her how much he appreciated them.

When the young woman saw him walk into the kitchen wearing the new items, she smiled broadly. They looked even better on him than they did in them leathersmith's shop, and it made her happy to see that he had started using them as soon as he had found them.

 **« Did I choose the right size, for the gloves ? »** she asked. **« The woman who sold them to me said I can bring them back if they don't fit, to get another pair of gloves in exchange... »**

 **« They are perfect. »** Thorin said, very earnestly. **« They fit so well I could almost believe this woman made them specifically for my hands. »**

 **« And... do you like them ? »** she asked him, but when she looked at his pleased smile she already knew the answer.

 **« They are perfect. »** Thorin repeated. **« It was very kind of you to buy them for me, yet I cannot accept such a gift, Laurelin. I know the price for such gloves. What I did for you is not worth you spending so much gold for me. You have more need of this money than me. »**

 **« With all due respect, my King... You cannot refuse a gift. »** she told him. Her voice was soft, and her eyes brimming with tenderness.

Yet Thorin acted as if he hadn't heard her last words. He opened the purse that was tied on his belt, and removed several gold coins from it.

 **« Here. »** he said, stretching out his hand to offer them to Laurelin.

 **« Certainly not ! »** Laurelin exclaimed, as she stepped back to make it clear she would not take them.

 **« I don't deserve such an expensive gift. »** Thorin said stubbornly.

 **« Of course you do. »** Laurelin replied. **« You taught me to read, and to write... You gave me the opportunity to learn something no other woman of my condition ever learned before. You may not realize it, but it means so much for me... »**

Thorin gazed at her in silence for a long while, then he sighed, looking suddenly resigned.

 **« Very well. »** he said at last. **« I accept your gifts. And I am very grateful, too. I have to admit I truly needed new gloves, and a new apron as well. And you chose them well, too. As usual, your common sense and your good taste made you choose what's best. »** He lifted one of his hand, so they could both admire the glove. **« And your writing was perfect, too. »** he complimented her. **« I had never seen such beautiful letters before. My own handwriting looks poor and shabby, compared to yours – and I am not telling you this to flatter you. I truly mean it. You have learned so much, these last months. You really are an exemplary pupil. »**

Laurelin blushed a bit, but her eyes sparkled with joy. Hearing Thorin compliment her like that made her feel happy, and so proud of herself.

Thorin watched her smile he was surprised to see so much emotion in her eyes, when in reality he had done no more than just being honest with her.

 **« Thank you. »** he said.

Laurelin nodded, and was about to return to her work – she had started to scrub the work surface when Thorin had interrupted her – when suddenly Thorin opened his arms and hugged her tight against his broad chest.

 **« Thank you so much. »** he repeated, and after a few moments he felt Laurelin relax against him. He held her close for a few moments, enjoying the intimacy of this physical contact with her, then he released her before she could feel ill at ease.

She met his eyes, and they both started smiling in unison.

Once Laurelin knew how to read and write and work with the numbers, Thorin was glad to let her do all the tedious work he had no patience for a King he may be, but in truth he enjoyed physical work far more than reading countless letters or making endless lists. It bored him, and it also annoyed him because it made him lose precious time. Laurelin, on the other side, enjoyed such things. In the beginning Thorin supervised her work, to be help her whenever she needed it, but soon he realized it was not necessary Laurelin was clever and smart, and she knew how to manage everything on her own, without help. Thorin couldn't help but admire her. She had come such a long way from the frail, shy girl he had met so many year ago. She was so useful and efficient that he couldn't even imagine running the forge without her. Whatever she was doing, she always gave her best and Thorin knew he could trust her blindly, without the slightest hesitation. And besides, Laurelin's neat and elegant handwriting was far more pleasant to look at in the registries than Thorin's spidery scrawl. Laurelin's small hand drew each letter, each number with minute perfection.

On her side, Laurelin greatly enjoyed having more responsibilities, and the diversity of the tasks she was now accomplishing for Thorin filled her with enthusiasm. In the beginning, she was just a serving girl, using her hands to scrub and cook and clean, but now she also used her head and she loved it she relished adding and substracting numbers, and coming up with the correct answer, and she also relished all the challenges this new work was offering her. Every day she learned to cope with new situations, and she learned new words, new tricks to be even more efficient. Sometimes, when she hesitated – which did not happen very often – she asked Thorin for help, but instead of telling her straight away the answers she wanted to hear, he just guided her very subtly into the right direction, allowing her to find the solution by herself and to feel very proud of herself.

All in all, Thorin teaching Laurelin to read was an important turning point in their relationship. From this moment on, they started spending almost all their evenings together. Sometimes they played games – likes cards, or jacks, or dice – but most of the tie they read, sitting side by side by the fireplace, feeling so comfortable with each other. Sometimes, they even read the same book together. Laurelin really appreciated those moments, because Thorin was sitting particularly close to her on these occasions, and sometimes their fingers brushed imperceptibly as they both tried to turn over the page. Thorin was a strong and fierce warrior, a king of Durin's line, yet when he was with Laurelin she saw nothing in him but gentleness and softness.

Thorin also enjoyed these evenings, when they both read together. He loved feeling her arm pressing against his arm as they both leaned over the same book he loved hearing her deep, slow breathing he loved these slightly awkward moments when their fingers accidentally touched but more than anything else, he loved watching Laurelin while she read. Her big brown doe eyes were wide open, with an adorable half-smile on her lips. Her features were so relaxed. Most often, Throin reached the end of the page before Laurelin, but the fact that he had to wait for her at the down of every page didn't even annoy him – on the contrary. It gave him time to watch Laurelin on the quiet, while her mind was elsewhere. Thorin could have watched her for hours and hours.

Sometimes he was feeling the urge to put his arm around her, but he didn't want to take the risk of frightening her and making her stop their reading activities together – so he did nothing, and she just admired her in silence.

For now, it was enough for him to feel contented.


	12. LEAVING

The day Thorin announced he would leave the Blue Mountains to go looking for his father Thrain was bitterly cold cold rain was falling from the sky, and turning into ice as soon as it touched the ground. The roads were treacherous and slippery, and on top of everything else cold gusts of wind were raging between the peaks of the mountains. Laurelin wondered why the king had chosen such an awful day to gather everybody on the village square. He could have waited a day or two, couldn't he ? It would have been much more pleasant if he had told them about his quest – or whatever it was – on a beautiful sunny day, wouldn't it ? But anyways, here they were standing, getting drenched under the rain, listening to Thorin's words as he told them he would leave in a few days, and stay away from the Blue Mountains for an undetermined period of time. Laurelin watched the faces of the other Dwarves around her some were surprised, others shocked, and others openly disapproving. No one lingered, thoufh, since everybody was eager to go back to the warmth of their homes.

During the following days, Laurelin heard people mutter about Thorin's decision. Of course, they never talked openly in front of her, because they knew she worked fot Thorin, but as soon as she had her back turned they talked in hushed voices. Most people seemed to think Thorin was foolish to do something like that. Thrain, son of Thror and heir to the line of Durin, had disappeared decades ago, during the Battle of the Moria even though his corpse had never been found, the old Dwarf was surely dead somewhere, his white bones bleached white by the sun. Because if he had still been alive, he would have joined them here long ago. They had arrived in this village several decades ago, and they had prospered with each year everybody in Middle-Earth now knew that the sons if Durin lived in these mountains. If Thrain had been alive, it would have been easy for hilm to find them and to join them – but he hadn't. And his absence was the very proof that he was no longer alive.

Yet on the other side, Thorin was dead set on believing his father was still alive somwhere.

Laurelin didn't even know what to think anymore. She tended to share the villager's opinion, but she also knew Thorin was neither stupid, nor silly if he believed his father was alive, he probably had good reasons to do so.

The day before Thorin's departure, he bid farewell to the population, and to his friends. Balin was looking at him with sad eyes, as if he already knew Thorin's quest was doomed to fail, but when the King glanced at him the white-haired Dwarf smiled gently. Next to him, Dwalin was standing tall and strong. He looked almost naked, without his huge battle ax.

 **« Let me come with you, Thorin. »** he pleaded in a deep voice. **« You can't go alone. »**

 **« Yet I have to. »** Thorin said in a determined voice.

 **« Even if Azog is dead, as you seem to believe, there are still Orcs and other foul beasts roaming the wilderness. »** Balin said, backing up his brother. **« Going alone is too dangerous. We cannot take the risk of losing you. »**

 **« No one will lose me. »** Thorin said wirh a reassuring smile. **« And this is something I have to accomplish on my own, Balin. »**

The old dwarf sighed, looking suddenly very resigned, while Dwalin's gaze filled with sadness and frustration. _Staying behind must be very hard, for such a tough warrior like him,_ Laurelin pondered as she watched Thorin walking away from his two friends.

In the end, when there was no one else left, Thorin went to see his sister and her sons. The Lady Dis was as beautiful as ever, with her richly adorned beard and her heavy dress. Her black braided hair reached her broad hips. Standing next to her, Fili and Kili had reached this awkward stage between the end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood Fili already seemed to be closer to the adult side – he was quiet and devoted to his family – yet there was still a spark of mischief in his beautiful blue eyes as he elbowed his younger brother in the ribs before whispering something in his ears. He was a fine warrior now, with his father's blond hair and proud face. His beard was not so impressive yet, but he had braided his moustache and adorned it with brass beads. He was among Thorin's finest fighters, now, and he carried two identical swords that Thorin himself had forged for him, several years ago. Kili, on the other side, was a rather unusual Dwarf. His cheeks were covered in no more than soft stubble, and his weapon of predilection was a very unusual one : the bow. Most warriors among the dwarves despised bows, yet Kili was deadly brilliant at shooting. The lad was good with the sword, too – Thorin and Dwalin had seen to it – but the bow would always remain his favourite.

Usuall, Thorin's nephews were both laughing and carefree, but on this particular day their faces were grave as they watched their uncle.

 **« Let us come with you. »** Filli said as he took a step forwards. **« We are no longer little boys. We can fight, now. We can help. Give us a chance, uncle... »**

 **« And Thrain is our grand-father, »** Kili added, looking up at Thorin with pleading eyes.

 **« No, »** Thorin answered stubbornly. **« I will have to refuse you both as well, just as I refused Dwalin's help. Another time you will come with me, and I will be proud to travel with such fine warriors as you have become, but not today. »**

For a fleeting moment, Fili seemed to be about to stand up to his uncle, then he sighed and nodded slowly. They didn't insist any more.

Thorin smiled kindly at them, then he hugged them both, one after the other.

 **« Watch over your mother during my absence, will you ? »** he said jokingly, and Dis rolled her eyes behind her sons, with her fists on her hips. Then she pushed Fili and Kili aside, and hugged her brother for a very long time.

 **« Be careful, Thorin. »** she said. **« Please. Be careful. »**

Thorin answered something Laurelin couldn't understand, then the three of them walked back home, looking rather sad and dejected.

Thorin went to bed early, because he had planned to get up before the break of dawn, the following day. Laurelin finished to clean the house, then she went to bed as well she could have read in front of the fire for a while, but without Thorin it would not have been the same. It would have been so empty and boring. But once she was in her bed, she didn't fall asleep. She tossed and turned under the blankets, restlessly thinking about the next day.

The idea that Thorin would leave made her very uneasy. She would be alone once more, with no one at her side – and for how long ? Months ? Years ? Forever ? What if Thorin forgot her ? What if he found something or someone better on the roads, and decided to stay there ? What if he never came back ? What would Laurelin do, then ? Be alone again ? It had taken years for her and Thorin to know each other so well, and to build this comfortable life at the forge the young woman didn't feel able to start everything all over again, with somebody else.

The more she thought about all these things, the more her heart was heavy with sorrow and anguish. This noght, for the first time in a very long time, she curled up in a tight ball under her blankets and cried herself to sleep.

Next morning, Thorin woke up very early. Outside, everything was still very dark. Dawn hadn't even touched the horizon yet. He stretched, and got up very slowly part of him wanted to run and to be off as soon as possible, but another part wanted to savour the comforts of his home for as long as possible, while he still could. Then he sighed, and slipped into the warm, comfortable clothes Laurelin had laid out for her, yesterday a linen undershirt, a grey woolen shirt, a doublet of oiled leather and a pair of thick canvas trousers, oiled as well to keep water and melting snow from seeping through. Then he climbed down the stairs.

He hadn't bid farewell to Laurelin yet, because he knew she would be up this morning to talk to him one last time – and he was right. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw the flickering light of a candle on the kitchen table. Laurelin was not far, standing in the shadows, her hands budy on something Thorin couldn't see. She turned around and looked at him when she heard his footsteps, but her face was unreadable. Thorin didn't know if she was worried, sad, or angry – or maybe there was a little bit of everything ?

Anyways, he smiled as he walked into the kitchen, feeling glad to have this last chance to speak to her in private. She was not just some serving girl after all in fact, he realized, Laurelin had become closer to him than any other Dwarf he knew – closer even than Dis, who was his sister and whom he knew from earliest childhood.

She definitely deserves a few private words, and an explanation, he decided.

He started by repeating the safety instructions once more,because he didn't want something bad to happen to her during his absence. Everybody knew she was working for him, and everybody would know she was alone, without anybody to protect her. Some might want to try and take advantage of such a situation, and Thorin didn't want something like that to happen. This is what was frightening him most : not his own safety during the trip, but Laurelin's safety while she remained home alone. He wanted to be absolutely sude nothing would happen to her.

 **« I'm sorry to leave you behind. »** he then told her, very earnestly. **« I wish I could do otherwise, but I can't. »** Telling her what was weighing on his heart was hard – he was not a man who opened up easily – yet she had done so much for him, over the years, that she deserved his honesty. **« I am sure my father is still alive somewhere. Please don't ask me how I know it, because I wouldn't be able to answer you – but I just know it. He is alive. And the fact that he didn't come back here to find us means he is in a terrible situation. Captive, probably. I can't just sit here and wait. I need to do everything in my power to find him, and to save hime. »** He paused, then he continued in a sad voice. **« And if he is truly dead, as everybody seems to think, well... then at least I will know. I can't spend the rest of my life living in uncertainty and doubt. »**

 **« I understand, my King. »** she said, nodding slowly.

 **« I know you have lost your whole family, and I also know how afraid you are to be alone... I am sorry to abandon you... But I know you well, Laurelin, and I trust you. I am sure you can understand my need to go and search for my father, and I hope you will find it within yourself to forgive me. »**

 **« There is nothing to forgive. »** she assured him, with a gentle smile, and he saw in her eyes that she truly meant her words. It felt as if a heavy weight was removed from his chest. **« I cooked a few eggs for you, and I also bought some travelling bread from the baker's shop. You will be able to keep it for a fortnight, so even if you don't find any civilized place to stop for the nights, at least you will have something to fill your stomach. »**

Thorin thanked her, then he shifted to another subject.

 **« As for the money, Laurelin, of course I will not leave you to cope on your own. »** he said very seriosuly. « **I have prepared a chest for you, with enough gold to buy yourself everything that's necessary. There's gold for one year, approximately. I don't expect to be gone so long, so you will have more than enough to live a comfortable lifre in my absence. »** She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn't let her talk. **« I think I know what you're going to answer. »** he said, smiling. **« You will say that you don't care about money, and that you don't need much to be contented – yet there are still some things you will necessarily have to buy. Food, for a start. You'll have to buy food. And to buy food you need money. »**

 **« I can't accept, my King, »** she said, dumbfounded. She had never expected him to give her so much gold, just like that.

 **« Of course you can. »** Thorin said, very kindly. **« Try to see it not like a gift, but like one year's worth of wages, for the work you will be doing in my absence. Since I will not be able to pay you every month, I pay you now. »**

 **« But I won't be doing much, in your absence... I'll just be cleaning the house, and tending the garden. I can't... As much as I appreciate your generosity, my King, I can't accept such an important sum of gold without doing anything to deserve it. »**

Thorin had more or less expected such a response from Laurelin. It was always so hard for her to accept a gesture of kindness, even if in truth this wasn't even a kindness : Thorin was merely just acting responsibly towards her. But even that she couldn't accept.

 **« I have something for you, then. »** he said, and he smiled as he saw curiosity in her eyes. **« I don't know if you have heard about it, but Balin has decided a few months ago to gather all the books that were saved from Erebor. He says they are a treasure, and while most of it had been devoured by Smaug's fire, there is still something to be saved. They represent the knowledgs and lore of Durin's folk. He takes this work very seriously. But of these books and rolls of parchment are in a very bad state – burned and dried up, crumbling under the fingers when one tries to read them. So Balin decided to copy them anew. It long, tedious work. And more than once, he told me the task is too demanding and time-consuming for one Dwarf alone. More than once, he said he could do with some help. So... well, if I am gone and you don't want to stay idle, maybe you could help Balin... ? Your handwriting is so elegant and meticulous, and I know how much you love working with a quill and fresh vellum. Your work would undoubtedly be a great contribution to the library Balin is trying to set up. »**

Hearing this made her unbelievably happy.

 **« But what will Master Balin think of it ? »** she asked, suddenly unsure again. **« Did you talk to him about me ? Will he accept me ? »**

Thorin nodded, and Laurelin felt suddenly a shiver of excitement run through her whole body.

 **« I told him you might work for him for a few months, and he seemed to be genuinely pleased by the prospect. »** Thorin explained. **« He has seen the books you are keeping for me, concerning the forge. He has seen your handwriting, and he knows how clever you are. I'm sure he will have more than plenty of interesting work for you, and I'm sure he will be more than happy with the result. »**

Thorin was pleased to see Laurelin's face light up with happiness.

 **« Thank you so much, my King. »** she said with the most sincere gratitude, her eyes full  
of emotion.

Once this matter was settled as well, Thorin moved on to his plans. He told Laurelin where he would begin, at the doors of the Moria.

 **« But I don't know where I'll go after that, or even how long I will be gone... It all depends on what I will find, if I find anything at all... »**

 **« Will it be dangerous ? »** Laurelin asked, looking up at his face.

Thorin took a while to answer. He didn't want to frighten her, but neither did he want to hide the truth from her.

 **« Well, to be truly honest, Master Balin was right, when he told me the world is full of foul beasts. There are Orcs, and maybe even worse creatures. I may have to use my sword from time to time. »** He saw fear glistening in Laurelin's big brown eyes, so he put a hand on her shoulder. « But I am used to such things, Laurelin. I've been trained as a warrior, and I have no fear. There will probably be nothing out there that I can't fight and beat. » He saw she was still looking anxious, so he put a hand on her shoulder and added in his most reassuring voice : « **Don't worry, Laurelin. I will be back soon – with good or bad news, but I will be back. Besides, I've asked Dwalin to come by every now and then. His presence – and his ax – should be enough to keep any intruder away from this house. And away from you, as well. I trust Dwalin, he's been a loyal friend all his life. I promise you that you can trust him too. You don't need to fear him. »**

 **** _He doesn't understand,_ she realized. It was not really for his safety that she worried, because she had already known everything he just told her she had already known that Thorin was a formidable warrior, and that he would easily be able to overcome the few enemies who would cross his path. She knew she didn't have to fear for Thorin's life. She also knew her own life was not really in danger. Laurelin's distress had nothing to do with all these things. It all came back to her deep, desperate fear of being alone and abandoned. This fear of him finding happiness somewhere else, and not coming back... What would happen, then ? She didn't even want to think about it.

Yet she couldn't utter such thoughts aloud, so she just remained silent and handed him the travelling bread. It was a heavy loaf, made of dark, hard-baked dough and grain. It was wrapped in a towel to keep it fresh as long as possible.

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin said kindly. Attentions like these, particularly when they came from Laurelin, always made his heart melt, yet he saw she was still distressed. He was looking at her, with worried eyes.

 **« Laurelin, please... »** he begged. **« Don't fear for me. Everything will end fine. »**

 _I do not fear for you, because I know you are able to survive anything, my King, but I fear for what will happen to me if you don't come back._

The words almost escaped her throat, but she bit her tongue just in time to keep herself from talking. Part of her wanted him to understand her feelings without her having to say them aloud, and another part wanted him to remain ignorant of those same feelings. She was torn and distressed, and then suddenly something came to her mind. Something that was maybe a bit foolish, but she had to give it a try anyways :

 **« Maybe I could come with you, then ? »** Laurelin suggested, her eyes suddenly hopeful.

Surprised by this most unexpected demand, Thorin took a while to come up with a decent answer. He didn't want to hurt her once more.

 **« Laurelin... »** he sighed. **« You can't – and I don't say this because I think you're too weak to travel with me, but only because I don't want to make you suffer uselessly. »** He paused, and grabbed her hand. **« I would love to have you at my side during this journey. Your presence would be a blessing, and would undoubtedly make it more pleasant for me. But it will be a hard journey. I will travel though the wilderness. Riding and walking all day, from dawn to dusk. Sleeping outside, in the cold, on the bare ground, with no more than some furs and blankets. In the best of cases, I will find some town and pay for a bedroom in some cheap tavern... Sometimes there will probably** **be days without food... »**

 **« I've done all this before, when we fled Erebor. »** she insisted.

 **« Yes, and I remember how much you hated it. How much you longed for a home, and a safe place. I really don't want to make you go through such hardship again. It would be utterly cruel and selfish from me to make you endure such things just for the mere pleasaure of having your friendly presence at my side. »**

Tears filled her eyes, but Thorin didn't know why she truly cried : because she would be alone ? Because he had just rejected her offer ? Something else, maybe ? He could see she was doing her best to hide her distress, but she was not a good liar. Her emotions showed clearly on her soft, round face. He squeezed her shoulder.

 **« Besides, most people here still see you as my servant, even if we both know you are so much more than just a servant. If you leave with me, the gossips will talk about nothing but this for weeks, if not years. I don't want their spiteful and degrading words to hurt you, because you deserve better than this. »**

 **« I don't fear the gossips. »** she answered. « **Let them talk. They can't affect me... »** She lowered her eyes. **« But I understand you are true about everything else. I would be a burden for you, if you took me with you. »**

 **« Not a burden. »** he assured her. **« But I would definitely worry a lot for you, yes. And I truly think it will be better for you to stay here while I am gone. You will be safer, here. You will be home. And knowing that you are here, sleeping in a warm bed every night, eating your fill every day, will give me the courage to not give up, when things will be tough.**

 **« So I am... I am truly more than just a servant, in your eyes ? »** she asked timidly. Her first reflex was to lower her eyes, but she forced herself to look up at him.

 **« Of course. »** Thorin answered withtout even the slightest hesitation. The he smiled warmly at her. **« Many years ago, I called you a friend, and nothing has changed – except maybe that the ties binding our lives together have grown even tighter, since I told you these words. »** His smile grew even broader. **« I'm sorry I didn't make this clearer for you. Maybe I should have told you this more often, because it makes me feel sad that you still think of yourself as a servant... »**

The smile on Laurelin's soft pink lips was discreet, but genuinely happy.

 **« Come with me, please. »** he then said.

He walked out of the kitchen and into the barn, carrying an oil lamp in his right hand. Everything was still dark and quiet, but the smell of the baking bread in the baker's oven was tickling their nostrils.

Laurelin followed Thorin without a word.

Once they were both inside the barn, Thorin removed the blanket that was spread over the small cart. Laurelin gasped as she saw what was hidden underneath the blanket : bags of flour and oatmeals, huge amphorae of oil and wine, casks of pickled fish, whole wheels of cheese... She couldn't believe her own eyes.

 **« I'm sure it will be easy for you to buy fresh food on the market every day, but these are all heavy items. I thought it would be difficult for you to drag them all the way back to the forge, so I decided to buy them straight away and to store them here, where it will be easy for you to help yourself. »** Then he showed her the fire wood he had stacked against the southern wall of the barn. **« I've bought enough to warm you till Spring comes, and I suppose I will be back by the time the next winter comes, so you won't have to worry for this either. »**

 **« Thank you. »** she just said, too surprised to say anything more than that.

 **« And if there is anything else you need, you can go to my sister, or to Balin. They will help you. »** Laurelin nodded, but Thorin was sure she would not do it. She never reached out for help, not even when she needed it so badly. So he insisted. **« Please, Laurelin, tell me you won't hesitate to ask for help, if you need it. Please. The idea that you might suffer from my absence is unbearable, for me. »**

 **« I promise you that I will ask for help if I need some. »** she said. She was both pleased to see that he cared so much for her, and a bit annoyed that Thorin treated her like a child, unable to survive on her own.

But then he opened his arms and hugged her tightly, and suddenly she completely forgot about her resentment.

Thorin held her like that for a very long moment. He didn't want to leave her, and to leave this new life they had built together. He felt a pang a deep, heart-wrenching sadness at the idea of leaving her behind, all alone, like some lost puppy. _But you have no choice,_ another voice in his head scolded him. You can't let your feelings get in the way of what you have to do.

 **« I will be back as soon as possible, hopefully with my father, »** he whispered into her ear. **« Please take care of yourself, all right ? »**

She nodded, with unshed tears in her eyes.

 **« Thank you for understanding why I have to go. »** he added. **« It is really important for me. I can't give up on my father without even trying to find him. »**

 **« I would do the same if it were my father. »** Laurelin assured him, with a brave smile. Then her tears started to roll down her cheeks, ans she buried her face in Thorin's shoulder to hide them. Thorin gently stroked her hair, then her back he rubbed it in slow circles for a very long time, very tenderly.

Then he released her from his embrace, and took her hands in his.

 **« I will be back soon. »** he promised her one last time.

Then he let go of her hands. He gave her the oil lamp, and walked out of the barn. Just before he reached the road, he turned around and smiled at her, before waving her good-bye. She was still crying, looking so small and vulnerable and forlorn.

Thorin closed his blue eyes, and prayed Mahal to find her safe and sound – and happy, too – on his return.


	13. BEING AWAY

Thorin had left the Blue Mountains a week ago, and the weather was absolutely fine : the sun was shining in a bright blue sky, and the temperatures were almost too warm for the season. Even though they were in the middle of winter, it felt like an early spring. Travelling would have been pleasant, for Thorin and his sturdy little pony, if the King of the Dwarves had not worried so much for his father. But Thrain's picture never left his mind day and night, Thorin had that knot in his stomach every time he tried to imagine where his father was. _Is he suffering ? Is he slowly dying ? Is he captive of the Orcs ? Or even worse ?_ It drove him mad with worry, so he he kept urging his pony forwards, without taking the time to linger anywhere or to admire the beauty of the landscapes surrounding them. They crossed mountaineous hillsides and grassy flatlands, stinking bogs and grey wastelands covered in thorns and bushes.

In truth, Thrain had never been an affectionate father he was a strong and severe Dwarf, but Thorin had still grown a deep bond with him. Every now and then, memories from his childhood came back to Thorin's troubled mind – like the first sword Thrain had offered him, or their trips to Dale, or all the hours they had spent together talking about the duties and responsibilities of a king...

 **« I need to find him. »** He said resolutely, and his loyal pony only snorted in response.

And then there was Laurelin that haunted him, too. Usually, during the day, Thorin didn't really think about her, because he had to keep watchful and attentive, and there was always so many things to do. A moment of inattention could mean the death of them both. They had met no enemy so far – nothing worse than an angry boar – but this didn't mean the land they were crossing was safe enemies couold be lurking in the shadows, biding their time, waiting for the right moment to attack. Thorin's eyes and ears were constantly on the alert, and his hand was always ready to grasp his sword. Besides, the land here was dangerous in itself – steep and rocky, full of holes and deep cracks. One wrong step, and the pony could break his leg, which would undoubtedly mean his death. And then Thorin would have no other choice but to turn back and go home, because he could not possibly carry all his gear by himself.

But in the evenings, when Thorin sat alone in front of the fire, or just before he fell asleep, he couldn't help but think about Laurelin - and not because he missed the comforts she could have given him, of course. He knew how to prepare his own food, or how to make his bed, or how to do all these things the young woman usuall did for him. He knew how to manage on his own. But he truly, sincerely missed her pleasant company : her smiles, her voice as she softly hummed for herself while working, or her light footsteps all around him when they worked together in the forge... She was the familiar, reassuring figure that made his life complete – and now that she was gone he missed her with unexpected strength. He felt like his days were empty and tasteless, without their endelss conversations and their cosy evenings together in front of the fireplace.

Two weeks or so after his departure, as Thorin settled under his blankets to sleep, an old memory of Laurelin came back to his mind as he watched the stars above him, so bright in the velvety black sky. He remembered one particular evening, on their way to the Blue Mountains, when he had found Laurelin sitting alone on a flat rock, looking at the stars. He had felt his heart melt to see her so lonely, so he had joined her. They had not talked much, that evening, but somehow it had brought them closer together. And today – several decades later – Thorin still remembered it as vividly as if it had happened yesterday. He felt suddenly very nostalgic, and he sighed. It would have been so pleasant to have her at his side... He wondered what she was doing at this very moment. She was probably already asleep, or maybe reading in front of the fireplace after a pleasant day of work at Balin's library. He was reassured that she had accepted his offer to work with the old Dwarf, because he knew that Balin – and his brother Dwalin, too – would watch over her, if need be. He didn't doubt Laurelin's ability to manage on her own, but he mistrusted some of the travelling Dwarves that sometimes halted in the village for a few days. There were not many women among the population of the Blue Mountains, so if they found one who was not engaged Mahal only knows what ideas they could come up with.

 _Stop worrying,_ he chided himself. You did your best for her. And she's not a little girl anymore. She knows how to manage on her own.

Yet he couldn't stop thinking about her. He felt a bit guilty for leaving her behind like that, but on the other side he didn't really have a choice. He couldn't just leave his father to his fate and forget about him. This was unthinkable. He would have hated himself for the rest of his life, if he had stayed home quietly, without doing anything to help Thrain.

He contemplated one last time the bright stars, then he pulled the blankets over his body in a vain attempt to keep himself warm.

When he closed his eyes, it was still Laurelin that he saw. He imagined her laying in her bed, peaceful and serene, with a half-smile don her lips as she dreamed. It made him feel warm from the inside. It quieted his fears, and helped him fall asleep.

Several days later, he crossed a small town – the first one he encountered since he had left the Blue Mountains. In a dusty shop help by an old woman with grey hair, he bought several rolls of empty parchment and a bottle of black ink. Then he wrote a letter for Laurelin. He started by apologizing for not giving her any news sooner, but since he had been lost in complete wilderness it had been impossible for him to send her anything. Then he told her, with many details, everything he had seen and done since her had left her. There was nothing very interesting to tell her, so far, so he hoped she would not be bored by all the useless details. Then he told her that he misses her, but without telling her _how much_ he missed her, because he feared it would be inappropriate to express such feelings. He didn't want to make her feel uneasy. Then, at the very end, he wrote some words for Dis, Fili and Kili, and a few other friends. He knew he could trust Laurelin. He knew she would pass the messages along as soon as she would get the letter. As a conclusion, he told Laurelin he would write to her as often as possible, but he could give her no guarantees since he didn't know where his researches would lead him in the following days and weeks.

Then he sealed the letter with black wax, and geve it to some traveller he had met in a tavern. The man took a few gold coins, and accepted to bring the letter to Laurelin in the Blue Mountains. Thorin didn't know whether he could trust the man – it wasn't in his nature to trust strangers – and he kept wondering if the man would be true to his word. _What if he keeps the gold and throws my letter into the mud as soon as I will have my back turned on him ? But what other choice do I have, truly ? Probably none._

As he watched the man walk away with the precious letter, Thorin realized how glad he was that he had taken the decision to write. He felt relieved. The mere thought that Laurelin would soon hold it in her small hands was comforting him. He wondered what she would think of it, and hoped it would reassure her.

He spent the rest of the day and the following night in this nameless village. And next morning he resumed his travelling. There was nothing in front of him but rocky wastelands, with small thickets of low, twisted pine trees. It was a dreary landscape, and the dark clouds gathering in the sky made it look even more sinister. Soon it would rain, Thorin was sure about it.

More than ever, he was glad that Laurelin had not come with him. Knowing that she was at home, safe and warm, brought him comfort even as the first fat drops started falling from the sky.

The worst moments for Laurelin were in the morning, when she ate alone in the kitchen before leaving for the library, and in the evening when she came back home just to find it cold and empty, without Thorin's comforting presence. Going into the forge was almost impossible for her, because every time she saw the dark and cold oven it reminded her of Thorin's absence, and woke her feelings of loneliness. Cleaning the house – which she only did twice a week, now that the house was unoccupied most of the time – was hard too, because everytime she entered Thorin's empty bedchamber she felt a pang of sadness. She did her best to dust and air the room whenerver she had a bit of time, but it still smelled stuffy. Sometimes she fell asleep with tears in her eyes, and every night after blowing her candle she prayed Mahal for Thorin's saf and quick return.

Of course, working with Balin was a great help – not only financially, but also because it kept her mind off her worries. Balin was kind and soft-spoken, and he always had a gentle word for Laurelin. The young woman had immediately felt at ease with him, as if they had been friends all their lives. The work she was doing for him was pleasant, too : Balin gave her old, damaged books or scrolls that had been saved from Smaug's fire by the fleeing dwarves, and then she copied them onto new sheets of vellum or parchment. She loved the smell of new paper and ink, and when she started writing she was concentrated on the letters that she forgot about everything else. More often than not, her hands were black from ink when she was finished, but Laurelin didn't care about such details.

And she learned more about the history of their people, too. She read old tales and myths, and even started copying a huge, heavy book about Durin's reign, so long ago. It made her feel oddly proud to belong to such a great folk : right aftetr the fall of Erebor, when they had fled from village to village, living at the expense of the humans, they had been insulted and despised, and treated barely better than dogs. But now she slowly understood there was no reason to be ashamed of who she was, or where she belonged to. It gave her back a sense of pride, and it was a wonderful feeling.

But as soon as she left Balin's home, Thorin filled her mind again. She owed him so much, and she also missed him so much... She couldn't help but wondering where he was, and what he was doing. Of course she did her best to keep grief and sadness at bay, and to concentrate on happier things : imagine how proud he will be when he will see what you have done with Balin ! Imagine how alive the house will feel again, once he is back home !

But at night when she was alone in the house, sadness and loneliness crept back into her mind, making her lose sleep in spite of her exhaustion.

And then one day, almost two months after Thorin's departure, a strange man stopped in the willage – a real Man, not a Dwarf. He was tall, with short bushy hair and a pointy face, and dark eyes. Laurelin was so surprised when she heard him say her name that she almost dropped her basket stuffed with food. She hesitated for a few seconds, then she took a few steps that brought her in front of him. From the corner of her eye, she spotted Dwalin and a few other warriors, eyeing the strange warily, but them man didn't seem to be a threat. He smiled, then he shoved a yellow, dirty piece of parchment into Laurelin's hand, then he nodded briefly and turned around. Moments later, he had disappeared again.

Laurelin was so shocked that for a while she didn't even move. She just stared at the road where the man had walked moments before. Then she remembered the parchment. She looked at it, and when she recognized Thorin's black seal her heart started hammering in her chest. She hurried home, and opened it so quckly that she cut her finger with the knife-opener. Her hands were trembling with impatience.

She read each and every one of Thorin's words with eagerness. He didn't tell her anything of importance – he had made no discovered about Thrain, at the time he had written this – but she enjoyed it nonetheless. She smiled when she read how Thorin had managed to escape an angry bar in the forest, and she blushed when she read these words : She felt slightly dizzy. She had waited for a letter – or news of any kind – for so long, and now that she had gotten it at last she was feeling exhilarated.

 _He hasn't forgotten me._ She reflected, her eyes shining with emotion.

Then she read the letter again, just to burn every word into her memory. Even though Thorin had promised her to write as often as possible, she knew it would not be on a regular basis. Weeks or maybe even months could go by till she would get another one. Her only regret was that she couldn't reply. She would have loved to tell him how much she enjoyed working with Balin, and how much she was relieved now that she knew Thorin fine – and other things, too. So many other things. But things being as they were, it was impossible for her to give him any news of what was happening at hom, so she just let out a frustrated sigh.

Several hours later, she walked out of the house, still very happy. Thorin had given her a few messages to transmit to his friends and family, and she was more than glad to do this task for him. She talked to the Lady Dis over a piece of cake and hot tea, then she visited the others, and when she was done the day was almost over.

During the months that followed, four more letters came to Laurelin, carried every time by another person. She read every one of them with the same eagerness as the first one, and she always savoured Thorin's words as if they were a treasure. They were the rays of sunshine that helped her go though the grey haze of loneliness.

And then one day, a sixth letter reached her home. It was short, but it brought Laurelin both intense joy and horrible sadness.

 _I didn't find my father, and I probably never will. Persisting in this quest would be useless. I'm coming home, now._

He had written no more than this. At first it felt like a stab in her heart, because she just knew how much pain this caused Thorin – she could almost feel his pain seeping though the words – but then another though got the upper hand : _He will be home soon._ She realized. _He will be sad, angry and dejected, but alive._

Laurelin wondered where he had been when he had written this letter, and how long it would take him to reach the Blue Mountains. She hoped he would be there soon, because the sooner he was at Laurelin's side again, the sooner she could comfort him.

The sky was bright and blue, yet Thorin's mind was as dark as a thunderstorm cloud. He was not sad, no – he was devastated. He had finally understood that everything had been in vain. He had waited too long to search for his father, and now it was too late. There was nothing left – no evidence, no track, nothing. If Thrain was still alive somewhere, he was beyond help. Thorin's heart was filled with bitterness and resentment, that ate at him day and night, like poison. He hated himself for being unable to find his father. He hated himself for being such a useless, unworthy son. He hated himself for being so far from the grandiose king everybody thought he was.

Yet somehow, as every step brought him closer to the Blue Mountains, slowly his fiery anger faded away, replaced by a deep sadness that made him cry tears of despair in the darkest hours of the night, when no one but the stars and the wild animals could see it. More than once, grief threatened to overwhelm and consume him, but every time this happened it was Laurelin who kept him going. Laurelin and her smile... Laurelin and her kindness... Laurelin and her gentle soul... The softness of her voice... And every time her picture bubbled up in his mind, it gave him the courage to get up in the morning, and to climb on his pony's back for another day of travelling. He clung to his memories of her and drew from her the strength to keep going.

Days turned into weeks, and then one morning he saw the hight peaks of the Blue Mountains at the horizon. They truly looked blue, from where he was standing.

 **« Home. »** He whispered to himself, and as he pronounced these words alour he realized how much he had missed it. His house, his forge, his sister and his friends – but more than anything else, he had missed Laurelin. The idea that soon he would see her again made him suddenly smile. It would be good to be reunited with her again.

He took a deep breath, and resumed his journey ; since the ground was flat and even, he kicked his pony in the ribs to make him trot. With every step they were taking, Thorin's heart was growing more impatient to reach home.

A few more days later, they reached the roots of the Blue Mountains. Thorin felt a shiver of anticipation run down his spine as he realized he would see Laurelin in less than a week. He urged his pony forwards. Later, when night fell on the mountains, a bright and full moon rose in the sky, casting a ghostly light on Thorin's surroundings. Thorin decided that this light was enough for them to keep walking, because he didn't want to lose one single minute.

When he stopped at last, to grant a few hours of rest to his brave little pony, he was unable to find sleep. Being so close to home made him restless. He tossed and turned under his blankets, and then in the middle of the night it suddenly dawned on him how much Laurelin counted for him. She was a friend, of course, but also more than that. He was even closer to her than to Dis, lately. For several decades, she had been at his side every day, from morning to evening. Her presence had become an essential part of his life. If something happened to her, or if she left him, it would leave him completely broken. The thought that she had become so close was both warming, and a bit frightening – because never before had he felt so vulnerable. Never before had he depended on anyone else like that. As if his own life didn't really belong to himself anymore, but to Laurelin. His throat tightened and his heart started hammering in his chest, and for a fleeting moment he wanted to run away. For a man like him, who had been taught from earliest childhood that you have to be strong and fierce to survive, feeling such things was terrifying. But then so he took a deep breath to calm himself.

 _Stop fretting,_ he chided himself. _What are you worrying about ? It's Laurelin. Sweet, kind and gentle Laurelin. There's nothing wrong in admitting that she had become indispensable. There's nothing wrong in admitting that you need her presence around you. Nothing at all._ _So stop being an idiot, and go home to find her._

Next morning, he woke up before dawn after a few hours of anxious sleep that left him even more tired than he had been before falling asleep. He was exhausted, yet he climbed the mountains as fast as possible, because he was eager to see Laurelin. Not Dis, not Fili or Kili, not Balin or Dwalin – no, he wanted to see Laurelin. Only her. Of course he loved his sister, his nephews and his friends. They were all very dear to him, but Laurelin was something different. Something stronger. Something overwhelming, that drove him forwards even when the muscles in his legs started protesting against the efforts.

Three days later, he saw the first houses of the village.

 _I'm coming, Laurelin. You won't have to worry anymore._ _I'm coming._


	14. BACK IN THE BLUE MOUNTAINS - PART 1

Thorin was spotted as soon as he entered the village. At first only a few curious men and women came out of their houses to greet him and ask him about his quest they had noticed Thrain's absence, of course, so most of them also offered him their condolences. But soon there was a whole crowd gathered around Thorin, each of them eager to exchange a few words with their king. Walking became harder and harder, and Thorin's frustration grew with every minute. As pleased as he was to be back home and to be greeted by his folk with such enthusiasm, it's Laurelin he wanted to see right now. And she was probably at Balin's home right now, at the opposite side of the village. It would take him forever to go there, if his people kept holding him down.

Gently but firmly, he shouldered his way through the Dwarves swarming around him. He kept repeating he would talk to each of them later, when he would be rested from his long journey, but most of them were too stubborn to move away.

When Thorin reached Balin's home at last, he knocked loudly on the door. It was Balin himself who opened the door. The old Dwarf looed up anxiously at Thorin, who shook his head slowly in response to the other Dwarf's silent question. Balin's face fell. Sadness filled his eyes.

 **« We will talk about this later, if you don't mind. »** Thorin said in a deep, sad voice.

Balin nodded silently, and moved away to let Thorin enter into the house. As usual, everything was neat and well-ordered, and the walls were covered with shelves containing hundreds of books and scrolls. It smelled of ink and old parchment. The sun was shining into the house through the windows, bathing the main room with light and warmth.

Just as Thorin was about to ask Balin where Laurelin was, she entered into the room from the backdoor. When she saw Thorin, at first she froze and studied him for a few moments, as if wondering if he was real or if it was merely a vision. Thorin watched her as she stood there in the middle of the room, looking utterly confused in her old blue dress, with her hair braided back and an old scroll of parchment in her ink-stained hands. Being so close to her again, after their long separation, was feeling so good he felt his throat tighten with emotion.

 _She is beautiful..._ He realized, wondering why he had never quite seen it before.

Laurelin's face was unusually smooth, yet it was pleasant to look at she had big brown eyes framed with black lashes, and a pretty smile, and a scatter of soft golden freckles across her nose and her cheeks. Her features were both soft and delicate. Her hair was light brown, but in the light of the sun it now shone with beautiful reddish hues.

And then suddenly, without a warning, Laurelin ran to Thorin and wrapped him in a fierce hug. Never before had she taken the initiative to hug him – or touch him in any way – but now she was so happy so see him again that she had lost all sense of modesty or restraint. She allowed herself to give free rein to her happiness.

Surprised by this unexpected hug, Thorin closed his arms around her nonetheless, and held her close for a long while, enjoying her closeness and her happiness. He couldn't help but smile. He may have lost a father, but at least he still had Laurelin, and somehow this knowledge eased the pain he was feeling every time he lingered on Thrain's fate. He rubbed Laurelin's back very softly, very gently. Balin was watching them with a puzzled look on his face, and other Dwarves were standing outside, peering through the windows in the hope of seeing what was happening inside.

 **« Laurelin... »** Thorin whispered into her ear. His voice was deep, and hoarse with emotion. **« It's so good to see you again... How are you ? »**

 **« I am fine, my King. »** She said in a reassuring voice. **« I am fine. »** Her broad, merry smile was the very proof she was telling the truth. **« Thank you for the letters... Thank you so much... They did me so much good, my King. It was a relief for me to get some news from you from time to time, even if it pained me to be unable to write back any answers... »**

Thorin let go of Laurelin, and contemplated her once more. It made his heart melt to see her so happy. He knew it had probably been hard for her to be on her own, but as he watched her now he realized he had worried in vain. She had managed on her own well enough. Instead of crying and sinking into self-pity, she had seen Thorin's absence as an opportunity to try out something new, and to take in hand her own life. It had done her good to do something else than working in the forge, even if it had only been for a few months. The change he saw in Laurelin was subtle, yet unmistakable : she had gained in confidence and maturity, and it pleased Thorin to see her like that. Her eyes were shining with emotion.

He took her small hands in his own.

 **« I am so sorry I left you alone, but... »**

 **« …but you had to, »** she finished for him, and she knotted her fingers around Thorin's. **« I know it, and I can understand. You don't owe me any apologies. And I... I am terribly sorry you didn't find your father. I know how hard it is... I wish... I wish there was something I could do to lessen your pain... »**

 **« Let's not talk about this right now. »** he suggested, chasing away the despair that threatened to overwhelm him once more. **« I want to focus only on happiness, now. »** Then he looked at the curious people who were standing outside of the house. Some of them had their noses pressed against the glass panels of the windows. **« What about finding a quiet place ? »** he asked Laurelin. **« So you can tell me about everything that happened here while I was away. And about everything you did during my absence, too. I want to hear even the most insignificant details. »**

Laurelin nodded. He had been away so long, but now he was back and she was more than happy to be able to spend a bit of time alone with him.

But she didn't forget Balin.

 **« May I leave my work for a few moments ? »** she asked, always curteous and polite.

 **« Of course. »** the old Dward answered, with his usual kind smile.

Thorin and Laurelin walked away from Balin's house, while the old Dwarf shooed away the bothersome onlookers.

Since Balin's home was located at the border of the village, they didn't have to walk for a very long time to reach a quiet, lonely place it was a small alpine meadow in full blossom, bathed in warm sunlight. Grey granite rocks were jutting out of the ground here and there, and in the light of the sun they were glittering as if they were strewn with diamond dust. In the far distance, a herd of ibex was grazing in the shadows of the mountain. Thorin and Laurelin sat into the high grass, side by side. Soon, they were surronded by pretty butterflies with transparent wings who were flying from flower to flower, looking for sweet nectar. Laurelin couldn't have imagined a more idyllic place to talk with Thorin.

She started by telling him everything of notice that had happened in the village during his absence, like the birth of a pair of twin boys, or the miners' strike for higher wages, or the death of an old dwarf called Rakhandùr. It took her a long while, because she wanted to be as thorough as possible. She wanted Thorin to know he couls rely on her.

 **« And you ? »** the King asked, when her voice died down at last. **« What about you ? »**

Knowing what she had done during his absence was far more important to him, for now, than anything else in the world.

So Laurelin told himl everything about her long days at Balin's home, about the books she had read and copied, and about all the things she had learned in the process. When she was done, silence fell between them, but it was a comfortable silence. Laurelin was aware of Thorin's presence so close to her. It made her feel slightly dizzy after having been deprived of him for so long.

Then, after a while, she started biting her lips, wondering whether to tell him or not the real reason why she had been so worried. Part of her was afraid to open up like that, but another part was eager for Thorin to know what she had truly gfelt when she had been alone.

 **« My King, there's something I want to tell you. »** she started. He stared at her at once, looking intrigued. He smiled to encourage her. Laurelin took a deep breath and continued. **« While you were gone... I was so worried you would not come back... I was worried you might find another place somewhere... or another person... someone who could take care of you better than me, or a more comfortable home, or... »** she sighed. **« I was afraid you would completely forget about me, and never come back. »**

He took her hand in his once more, and squeezed it very tenderly.

 **« Laurelin... how could I ever forget about you ? »** he said, with a warm smile and a glint of pure tenderness in his eyes. **« When you mean so much to me ? I never realized it before I left the Blue Mountains. I appreciated you, of course. And I loved every moment we spent together... But then suddenly I was alone on the roads, and... and as much as I was worried for my father, most evenings it's you that I saw when I closed my eyes... I missed your smile, and your voice, and your kindness... I missed your presence... »** He paused, then he lifted his free hand ias if to stroke her cheek, before letting it fall down into the grass again. He wanted to toucher her, and at the same time he was afraid to do so. « **I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss somebody, Laurelin. You say you were worried that I forget about you, but in truth you were in my thoughts every single day. Killing a whole legion of Orcs with bare hands would have been an easier task than forgetting about you. »**

Laurelin was deeply moved by his words. She suddenly felt as is a weigh had been removed from her chest, allwoing her to breathe freely for the first time in a very long time. Tears rolled down her soft and smooth cheeks. She looked up at Thorin, and did what he had been too frightened to do : she lifted her hand and touched his cheek. It was very soft, no more than the tip of her fingers brushing over his rough skin, but it made Thorin shiver from head to toe.

 **« As much as I am sad that I didn't find my father, the fact that I am now reunited with you makes the grief easier to bear. Being with you, and feeling your presence so close to mine, is like a balm for my wounded heart. »** His voice was deep and hoarse with emotion as he savoured Laurelin's gentle touch. Slowly, he relaxed and dropped the walls he had had to keep around himself during those six months of travelling.

In the end, he found the courage to remove his hand from Laurelin's and to touch her face as well, as he had been craving for earlier. He touched her as softly as if she were a porcelaine doll.

 **« I missed you too... my King. »** she said with a smile, barely able to believe that Thorin was touching her with such tenderness.

Thorin's smile grew wider in response to her words.

 **« I am sorry I put you through this. »** he said with genuine sorrow. **« But now I am back, and we are reunited at last. I don't think I will ever leave your side again, my sweet Laurelin. »** His voice was warm and kind and friendly as he said those words for the very first time, even though he was actually quite surprised. He had not meant to say those words they had just poured out of him, very naturally, as if his heart and soul had spoken through his lips in complete disregard of Thorin's usual sense of restraint.

Laurelin felt goose-bumps stand on the skin of her arms as he felt a rush of emotion wash over her. Never before had she felt so alive, so happy.

A few moments later, they walked back to the village together. As they passed in front of Balin's home, Thorin forned, suddenly worried.

 **« So you enjoyed working for Balin, didn't you ? »** he asked, looking at Laurelin. **« Then maybe... Maybe you want to keep working with him, now ? Maybe the work there is more pleasant for you than working at the forge ? »** He looked at Laurelin's ink-stained fingers. **« If such is your desire, you can be sure I will not resent you for choosing to leave my service. I would miss your presence at the forge, of course, but I totally encourage you to do what you  
love best. »**

 **« Oh yes, I loved working for Master Balin, »** Laurelin replied heartily. **« But I love working for you even more, my King. I would never leave your service unless I have no other choice. »**

Thorin smiled, relieved. The propsect of seeing her leave him alone at the forge had been a dreadful one, even though he would have done nothing to hold her back from doing what was making her truly happy.

They reached the first intersection.

Two hours later, Laurelin and Lady Dis were sitting together at a small table of wrought iron, in Dis flowered backyard. They were sipping hot tea and eating cinnamon cake, while Thorin was sparring against his nephews with padded blades, to be sure they would not hurt each other. It was currently Fili's turn to fight Thorin. The young blond Dwarf was now a fierce warrior, and giving his uncle a hard time he was using two swords, one in each hand, which gave him a clear advantage. But Thorin had more experience, and more power behind each of his blows. He was slowly getting the upper hand over his eldest nephew.

 **« I hate to see them fight each other. »** Dis admitted. **« Not because I am afraid they will hurt each other, but because it reminds me of how dangerous our world is. »** She sighed, and drank a gulp of tea. **« If the world out there would not be so dangerous, there would be no need for them to learn fighting like that. I can't... Everytime I see them with swords in their hands, it reminds me that some day they might have to use them for real... »** Her dark eyes suddenly turned very sad. **« I lost my husband long ago, but I survived because I had to, for the sake of my sons. But if I lost Fili and Kili too... »**

She shook her head and didn't continue, for these thoughts were too terrifying to be  
uttered aloud.

 **« I am sorry for your loss. »** Laurelin said politely, and she truly meant it. Losing her husband so shortly after the birth of their second son must have been a terrible blow, yet Dis had never complained, nor casked anything of anybody. Strong and independant, she had built herself and her sons a good life, juste like Thorin had.

 **« Oh, forget it, I don't want to ruin your happiness. »** Dis continued. Her smiled reappeared as her eyes went from her brother to Laurelin. **« It's pretty obvious you are delighted to see him back, and it makes me happy to know he didn't come home to a cold empty house, so please don't let my dark mood tarnish your joy. »**

 **« Of course I am happy he's back. »** she said. **« I've been working for him for so many years. It will be reassuring to resume my familiar work and to share my daily life with him again, as we did before. Even though... »** She felt suddenly a bit ill at ease. **« I am sorry he couldn't find his father... your father... You have all my condolences, Lady Dis. »**

She shrugged, and bit her lower lip.

 **« The day Thorin left, I already knew he would find nothing. Either our father was truly dead, like everybody seems to believe, or he was alive but permanently lost to us. Too much time had passed. All the tracks had disappeared long ago. My brother is stubborn and strong-willed, and once he has an idea in his head no one can make him see reason... But I am not like him. I knew from the beginning – and I told him so – that this quest would be a waste of time, so I never truly had any hope... It... Of course it hurt when Thorin came back empty-handed, but it didn't hurt as much as if I had had any hopes... »** She sighed heavily, but then her smile reappeared. There was something mischievous about her, suddenly, as she looked at Laurelin. **« So you are reassured that Thorin is back... but to me it looks like you are more than just reassured, aren't you ? »**

Laurelin blushed and Dis chuckled softly, but in a friendly way.

 **« And it's not only you, of course. »** The lady continued. **« It's my brother, too. He's different. The way he looks at you... I don't know what exactly he feels for you, but I just know there is something. »** She paused, and then she studied Laurelin's face. **« It reminds me of our younger days, before the fall of Erebor. As if he had cast away some of the grief and resentment that plagued him since Smaug's attack. As if... »** She thought about it, then smiled again. **« As if he was more carefree, all of a sudden... And less burdened... I don't know how this miracle could happen, exactly, but I can clearly see you have something to do with it... ? »**

Laurelin was aware that Dis wanted to know more about it, but she resolutely decided to keep everything private. She didn't resent Dis for asking – curiosity being a naturel feeling, after all – but on the other hand it was none of Dis' business.

 **« I am sorry, my Lady. »** Laurelin started, but before she could add anything else Dis laughed again. She had a loud, cheerful laughter, juste like her youngest son Kili. Laurelin couldn't help but smile in spite of her embarrassment.

 **« Don't apologize. »** Dis said, before biting into her piece of cake. **« I am the one that should apologize, for being so nosy. I won't bother you again, I promise. »** But then suddenly all the mirth disappeared from her face, and she frowned. **« But you know, Laurelin... Other people talk, too. Many of them have seen your reunion with Thorin, earlier today. They started talking as soon as you left Balin's house with my brother. I was there. I listened to what they said. »**

Laurelin felt her heart beat slightly faster. She didn't like the idea that people were gossiping about her, or about the relationship between her and Thorin.

 **« And... what exactly are they saying, my Lady ? »** Laurelin asked tentatively. She was not even sure she wanted to hear the answer.

 **« Most people were harmless enough. »** she said, looking intently at Laurelin. She didn't want to hurt the younger woman, but she was also a very straightforward woman, and sometimes people felt offended by her brutal honesty. Since Laurelin seemed to count so much for her brother, she didn't want to do or say something that might hurt her in any way. **« They say it's wonderful to see their mighty king so attached to a... mere serving girl. »** Dis had hesitated on the last words. Calling her a serving girl when she was so obviously more than that felt uncalled-for. **« They say it's the proof of our King's kindness and humility. Not like the kings of old, who revelled in their superiority and treated others like witless, worthless good-for-nothing. But there are other rumors, too. Some people were smiling as they said there is something like unavowed love between you and my brother. They seemed to find it amusing or touching enough. »** Then Dis lowered her voice, and leaned closer to Laurelin. When she poke again, her voice was low so that no one else could hear what she would say. **« Some people said you're actually sleeping with my brother. That he's only keeping you at his side for this reason. Because you are pretty and... »** Dis cleared her throat, looking embarrassed. **« I'm sorry. It's not what I think, of course. I'm merely repating what I heard. Since you are concerned by these rumors, I think you need to know. »**

Laurelin was so shocked that she didn't know what to say. She was not the kind of woman to listen to gossip, and most often she always avoided to spend time with women who liked to talk behind the back of other people.

And then something else hit her :

 _If Dis has heard such tales, did Thorin hear them too ?_

This thought was enough to frighten her. She didn't want people to have a bad opinion on him because of her of course she had always done her best to act like a decent woman, and to give them no reason to gossip about her, but obviously it had not been enough. And she didn't want Thorin to think she had said or done anything during his absence to lead people to such conclusions.

 **« Laurelin, if I have one advice to give you, it is this one : don't listen to such filth. »** Lady Dis said with conviction. **« Let them talk. They're no more than idiots, anyway, if they are stupid enough to spread such tales. We all know this, don't we ? And Thorin knows it too. He will never blame you for the twisted ideas these unsavoury dwarves may have about you. Let them talk and act as if you didn't hear them, because if you let them bother you, they will take it as the proof that they are right about it, and this is the last thing you want, isn't it ? »**

Knowing that Lady Dis, at least, was convinced these ugly tales were no more but lies comforted Laurelin and made her feel better. She didn't know what exactly there was between Thorin and her, - because she had never experiences anything like that – but she knew there was absolutely nothing shameful about it. It pained her that some people had come to the wrong conclusions after watching her reunion with Thorin, and that these people had turned their friendship and tenderness into something digusting.

Dis patted Laurelin on the forearm.

 **« They will forget about it as soon as something more interesting will happen in the village, you can be sure of that. »** she said comfortingly.

They were interrupted by Fili's shout as one of his swords flew out of his hands. Kili yelled in dismay, too, while Thorin glared triumphantly at them both. He was tall and fierce and strong, and sweat was now covering his brow.

 **« One day you may beat me with a sword, Fili, but it's not today. »** he said with a friendly smiled, before patting both his nephews on their backs. **« Come on, let's go and find you mother, now, before she takes up her own sword and beats us all. »**

Both young Dwarves chuckled, and next moment they all sat at the table. Fili and Kili were rowdy and loud and exuberant, and Thorin's hand instinctively came to rest on Laurelin's.

Dis watched them for a while, her eyes going from one to another as if trying to guess what was going on between them. She didn't say a word, though, but the soft and discreet smile that stretched her fuzzy lips was enough for Laurelin to understand she accepted it, or maybe even rejoiced about it.


	15. BACK IN THE BLUE MOUNTAINS - PART 2

Thorin and Laurelin left Dis' house together, to get back to the forge. They were both impatient to be home, yet it they were constantly interrupted by other Dwarves who wanted to speak to Thorin : the King greeted them all and spoke a few words with them, always polite. He accepted their condolences and thanked them for their support, for their loyalty. He also announced several times that there would be no festivities to celebrate his return, since he came home without his father and he didn't feel like organizing a ceremony when his heart was still grieving for Thrain. Laurelin felt a bit awkward as she stood next to Thorin – not because of Thorin himself, but because she remembered what Lady Dis had told her earlier. Laurelin couldn't help but scrutinize every Dwarf they met, wondering what filthy tales he would tell his friends. The idea that some of them were imagining her behaving like a woman with no virtue made her terribly ill at ease. Yet every time she put some distance between her and Thorin, he just slowed moved closer to her again, with a reassuring smile that clearly told her : don't worry about such things, what they think or say has no importance to us.

After a while, less and less Dwarves came to bother them, and they would walk more freely. Thorin kept asking Laurelin about what had happened in the village, and she always gave him a thorough answer, with as much details as she could remember. It felt as if she had to catch up in one day for those long monthes without talking to him.

When they came home, the first task was to revive the fire. Laurelin had left the house long hours ago, so there was no more than a few reddish embers in the heart it was enough, yet, to start a new fire when Thorin put a stack of dry twigs on them. Soon, crackling flames were hurning, filling the house with a subtle scent of pine sap.

Laurelin still couldn't believe that Thorin was truly back, and at home with her.

 _I just hope it's not a dream, and that I won't wake up tomorrow in a cold, empty house._

They sat in front of the fire for a while, enjoying their mutual presence in silence. Then Thorin was the first to speak :

 **« I can only imagine how lonely you must have been. »** He said in a whisper. **« All alone in the empty house... At least I was travelling, and I didn't have to face the familiar places we used to share. I'm sorry you had to go through this. And I realized I should have written more letters, but ink and paper were hard to come by, and... »** He sighed. **« I'm sorry. »** he repeated once more.

 **« It's fine. »** Laurelin replied with a smile. **« You wrote whenever you could, and I was glad for each of your letters. »**

She stood up and opened a drawer in the kitchen sideboard. Then she grabbed the six letters she had been storing in there, and showed them to Thorin. She had taken great care of them, as if they were a precious treasure, and if they were battered it was only because the messengers carrying them to the Blue Mountains had not been very precautious.

Thorin smiled as he recognized them.

 **« Every time I gave one of my letters away, I wondered whether you would get them or not. Some of them men I entrusted them to looked fishy enough. But now I see that you have gotten them all. It warms my heart to see that you have kept them all. »**

 **« I... wanted to have them near me. »** She admitted. **«Where I could read them whenever I felt too lonely. Sometimes before going to sleep, I just read them all to give me courage, and to convince myself that you were all right. »**

Thorin pondered her answer for a while.

 **« Your thoughts watched over me like a guardian angel. »** He said at last, in a dreamy voice. **« I could never forget you, Laurelin. You can be sure about that. »**

Thorin's hand moved over to stroke Laurelin's as he said those last words. He brushed her knuckles with the tip of his fingers, very timidly at first, but then he gained confidence and covered the young woman's small hand with his, very tenderly. It felt good, so he left it there. Laurelin's hand was small and warm. Unconsciously, Thorin started rubbing her skin with his thumb, and he did so for several minutes before he realized what he was doing then he froze, suddenly ill at ease. But as soon as he stopped moving his finger, Laurelin started caressing his big, scarred hand as if to say – I like it, please continue.

Thorin smiled weakly, still a but uncertain. But Laurelin's touch was pleasant for sure. The heir of Durin allowed himself to relax, and instinctively his thumb resumed stroking the young woman's skin. It lasted a few minutes Thorin didn't talk, but he just enjoyed the moment and the feelings this touch was awakening in him.

Then Laurelin decided to tell him something she had been keeping to herself so far :

 **« Sometimes, when I felt too lonely in this big empty house, I wanted nothing but to run away from here and join you in your quest. »** She said softly, as she put the letters back in the drawer. **« I almost did it, several times, in the very beginning when I still knew where to find you. »** The she suddenly lowered her eyes in shame. **« But in the end I didn't have the courage to do it. Just leave everything behind... Travel alone with no one else to rely on... Live like a beggar on the streets... I couldn't. I just couldn't. I suppose I am not made for such an adventurous life. And I also... I alos feared your reaction, when you would find out I had been so rash and reckless. »**

Thorin was quite surprised by this confession, because he hadn't expected her to nourish such thoughts, but at the same time he was touched by her unyielding loyalty. It made him realize how much he counted for her, and knowing that he was important to her – important to that woman he admired and cared for so much – was a wonderful feeling.

 **« The fact that you considered joining me means a lot to me. »** He started, taking Laurelin's hands in his and smiling at her. **« Yet in the end... it's a good thing you stayed here. It was the wisest choice, because the places where I travelled were dangerous and lacking all comfort. It would have been like a nightmare, for you. And besides... Joining me would have meant several weeks of travelling alone, which would have been even more dangerous. Knowing that you wanted to do it is enough for me. »**

When Thorin started removing his hand from Laurelin's, she held it back, then she looked up at Thorin, very shyly.

 **« I would really enjoy it if you kept your hand here. »** She said in a timid voice. **« I... I still can't belive you are truly back... Sometimes I'm wondering if it's true, or if it's just my imagination making me see the things I want to see... but when I fell your hand on mine, well – it just helps me realize it is truly happening... »**

Thorin smiled amiably, and kept his big hand over Laurelin's smaller hands, both to comfort her and to warm her cold hands. It felt good for him too, to have this physical contact with her.

Silence fell between them for a while, then Thorin continued. His voice was deep and sad, and his eyes never left Laurelin's face.

 **« I... When I realized I found never find my father, I was so angry... »** He sighed. **« Angry against fate who made us endure all these hardships, angry against my father who kept eluding me, angry against myself for being unable to help him... It burned me from the inside, day and night, without rest. But the closer I got to home, the better I felt. The pain, the gref, the anger... Slowly it faded away, replaced by other feelings. Hope, eagerness to be home again, and impatience... And I also realized several things... The importance of home... The importance of being reunited with the people I care for... and with you, Laurelin. »** He added, and he started rubbing her hands very softly. **« Knowing that I would be at your side soon help me to keep going... And somehow it made my father's death more bearable. It was still tragic, of course, but I... I don't know, but I suppose I just accepted his death... I now I am ready to go on with my life, and it's definitely thanks to you. »**

Laurelin had been listening to him with rapt attention, enjoying the warmth of his hand on hers as much as the words he told her.

 **« I am so happy to be back home, now. »** He said, looking around him at the familiar living room. Nothing had changed since he had left, six months earlier. **« I missed you, and our evenings together in front of the fire. »** He admitted, looking back at her.

Laurelin hesitated for a moment, then she gave him the most sincere answer :

 **« I will always be here for you, my King. »** she said with a warm smile.

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin repeated. Then his eyes went to the drawer where Laurelin kept the playing cards. **« What about playing a few games before we go to bed ? »**

 **« I would love it, my King. »** Laurelin answered with a smile. She got up and waked over to the drawer, but when she wanted to sit back next to Thorin he shook his head and got up as well, with a low grunt of pain as he forced his tired muscles to move again.

 **« I can't play like that. »** He said, pointing at his stained and dusty clothes. **« I look and smell like a beggar who hasn't seen a bath in months. Do you think the water is hot enough for a bath ? »**

 **« It should be. »** Laurelin answered. She opened the lid of the kettle, and saw that the water was hot indeed.

Thorin helped her carry bucket after bucket of hot water upstairs, in his bedroom, till the wated in the tub reached the perfect temperature.

When it was time for him to undress, he was oddly embarrassed to do so in front of Laurelin maybe because he hadn't seen her in six months, but more probably because his relationship with her had changed during his absence. He didn't look at her in the same way he did before, yet after a moment of hesitation he just called himself stupid for being so shy and undressed anyways. And since he was so filthy, he washed and scrubbed his skin by himself, without asking for Laurelin's help as he usually did.

In the meanwhile, Laurelin was sitting on a chair, near the tub where Thorin was bathing. Since she had seen him hesitate, she had turned around while he had undressed, to avoid any further embarrassment. She had picked up his worn clothes and was now checking them some were beyond repair and good for nothing but to be turned into rags, but others she would be able to save. She put them aside, to wash and mend them another day. After a while, she started wondering why Thorin didn't ask for her help. Usually, he always enjoyed when she rubbed his back and washed his hair, but tonight he seemed determined to do these things on his own.

For a while Laurelin just sat on her stool and waited, but after a while she couldn't help but look at Thorin over her shoulder. He was showing her his back. She bit her lips as she hesitated. Then she decided it was time to act. Without waiting for him to ask anything, she got up and walked over to where he was sitting in his tub.

Thorin startled as he suddenly felt Laurelin's hand on his shoulders. He hadn't expected her to come, since he hadn't told her anything, yet it was a pleasant surprise for sure. She took the washing cloth from his hands, and started rubbing his tense back, very softly, in big slow circles. Thorin turned his head and looked at Laurelin over his shoulder, then he apologized for being so dirty his voice was strangely shy as he said those words, but Laurelin just smiled reassuringly at him and shrugged.

 **« I'm am not afraid of dust and mud. »** She said, and it was true. She didn't feel disgusted at all as she resumed rubbing Thorin's back. She started with his broad shoulders, then she went lower and lower, till she reached the small of his back.

Slowly, Thorin relaxed under her touch. He leaned his head forwards to give her free access to his back, then he savoured the sweetness of this moment. It had been long since he had last felt so good, so relaxed.

Then Laurelin cast away the washing cloth, to wash him with her bare hands. Here again, Thorin startled quite obviously, but once he had gotten used to her touch he enjoyed it even more than he had before. It was her skin against his, her warmth, her contact... It was something both intimate and comfortable. He felt like a baby in the hands of a loving mother : protected, and well cared for, and deeply satisfied. And the fact that it was Laurelin who made him feel like that made everything even better. He wanted it to go on forever, yet after a while Laurelin announced that she was done. For Thorin, it was like falling back into the real world. He sighed, then he stood up and climbed out of the tub. He wrapped himself in the warm towal Laurelin handed him, and dried himself for a long time, enjoying the feeling of being clean for the first time in weeks.

When he was done, he slipped into the comfortable breeches Laurelin had prepared for him.

 **« Would you help me wash my hair ? »** He asked, looking at Laurelin.

 **« Of course, my King. »** She answered with a smile. **« I will be glad to help. »**

Thorin leaned over the tub, and cringed when he saw how dity the water now was. Laurelin poured clean, warm water over his head, then sue rubbed soap into his long, black hair. He felt her fingers run on his scalp, and he enjoyed this contact just as much as he had enjoyed her fingers on the skin of his back he was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of happiness and well-being. A moan of contentment escaped his lips.

 **« It feels good. »** He said simply, because he was too dazed to think about something more elaborate to say. **« I wish you would never stop. »**

Laurelin smiled, and decided to make it last a little bit longer than necessary, for the mere sake of pleasing him. He didn't say anything more, but the young woman sensed she had his full, complete gratitude. She sensed how quiet and serene he now was.

When they were done at last, Thorin dried his long hair the best he could with the towel, and slipped into a white linen shirt. He looked down at Laurelin, with kindness shining in his blue eyes.

 **« You're taking much better care of me than I do. »** He said with a warm, friendly smile. Being here with her was all he needed, rightnow, to feel truly happy.

Several moments later, they both climbed down the stairs again and sat in front of the fire again. They were facing each other now. Laurelin got the cards from the drawer, and Thorin immediately dealt them out they had learned a few games that were interesting enough when played at two, and they were both looking forward to spending the rest of the evenin together. Laurelin won the first game, and Thorin the second they chatted and laughed as they played, in spite of Thorin's recent loss. After a few games, they even burt out laughing over their game, and for Thorin it felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest.

 **« No one else but you could have cheered me up like that, in spite of the grief and the exhaustion. »** He confided, wiping away tears of laughter. And he truly meant it. Never before had he been so sincere. He needed Laurelin and he knew it. Without her, his life would loose all its favor. His happiness was depending on her, now.

Laurelin smiled at him.

 **« Are you hungry ? »** She asked, even though they had eaten their fill at Dis' house before going home.

 **« I am acutally quite impatient to savor your meals again. »** He said truthfully. **« I've never met a better cook than you. »**

Laurelin nodded, pleased by his compliment, and went into the kitchen to prepare a quick but hearty meal for Thorin.

While she was away, Thorin watched the living room around him. He knew Laurelin hadn't spent much time at home, since she had worked for Balin frow dawn to dusk, yet she had still found the time to pick some wildflowers and to put them into a coloured glass vase. He kept talking to her while she was busy in the kitchen, en she answered in a lively voice while running from one cooking pot to the other.

When the food was done, Thorin invited Laurelin to sit at the table with him they ate dinner together, and resumed playing cards while they were eating. It was a pleasant, friendly moment, and Thorin enjoyed Laurelin's easy companionship more than ever.

 **« By Mahal, I missed this. »** Thorin said, pointing at the beef stew with his fork. **« No one cooks beef like you. »**

The meat was tender and melting in the mouth, accompanied by a thick brown sauce and white perfumed carrots. Thorin loved his siter dearly, but her talents when it came to cooking were nothing compared to Laurelin's, and he was glad the young woman had suggested another meal because Dis' food had not been enough for him.

Thorin and Laurelin played cards until late into the night. Laurelin was tired, because she was not used to being up so late, but she had no desire to leave Thorin's company to go to bed. She wanted to enjoy every moment spent in his company.

After while, though, Thorin was the one who gave in to exhaustion.

 **« Time for bed. »** He said wearily, as he helped Laurelin clear the cards away. When they were finished, he looked at Laurelin till she ended looking back at him. Then he grabbed one of her hands. **« Thank you for this wonderful evening. »** He told her, squeezing her hand tenderly. **« It's been a very long time since I enjoyed myself like that, and it's all thanks to you. It's... It's so good to be back home. »** He sighed, his eyes still on her. **« Good night, then... »**

He squeezed her hand again.

 **« It's been a very long time since I enjoyed myself like that, too. »** She admitted with a smile. She hesitated, then she decided to use Thorin's very words. **« And it's all thanks to  
you, my King. »**

 **« Every moment spent in your company is worth all the gold in Erebor. »** He said at last. **« Have a good night, Laurelin. May your sleep be blessed with sweet dreams. »** Then he let go of her hand, and started walking towards the staircase.

Laurelin followed him, but once the moment came to part from Thorin and join her own bedroom, she felt very reluctant.

Thorin noticed her reaction, and chuckled softly.

 **« To bed, now. »** He hushed her, still laughing **« We will have many other days to  
enjoy each other's presence, now ! And we both need rest ! »**

 **« Good night, my King. »** She said, before entering her bedchamber.

 **« Good night, Laurelin. »**

He watched her till she closed the door behind her, then he entered his own bedroom, and he sighed deeply as he slipped into his own bed, between the clean sheets.

 _By Mahal, this is good._

But even better, to him, was the procpect of waking up next morning, and to start a new day in Laurelin's company.


	16. RETRIEVE

After Thorin's return, Laurelin and him slowly slipped back into their quiet, daily routine. It was mostly the same routine as before Thorin's departure : during the day they both worked (Thorin in the forge, and Laurelin in the house), and then in the evening Thorin had his bath, and then they both ate dinner together. Always together. Whenever Laurelin siad she had no time to eat, Thorin insisted and said he would eat nothing as long as she would not sit at the table with him, and in the end Laurelin always yielded. And once the meal was over and the table cleared, they both spent their evenings together. On cold nights they were sitting inside, playing cards or other games or reading a book together, but when the nights were warm they went to sit outside in the grass, behind the house, to watch the bats dance gracefully in the sky and to listen to the song of the crickets. Laurelin loved those moments, and she loved all the evening smells – the subtle and delicate smell of mountain flowers in full blossom, the strong smell of newly cut grass slowly turning into hay, the smell of dew and earth and life. Laurelin always felt so alive in these moments. She truly felt part of this world, as if she belonged to this place – not because her house was here, but because the mountains themselves had accepted her. It was a strange thought – a silly thought, even – yet every time she gazed at the old grey mountains with their snow-covered peaks, she couldn't help but thank them for letting the folk of Durin live here, in peace and quiet. But what she liked even more than the smells and the beauty of the Blue Mountains, was Thorin's presence at her side. He was never far. She could feel his closeness when they sat together on the blanket, and it made everything even more beautiful.

A few things had changed, though, since Thorin had returned from his journey.

He was now even more mindful of Laurelin as he was before. He constantly made sure she had everything she needed, everything she wanted. And he talked to her more, too – at the beginning opening up had been hard for him, because it was not in his nature to complain to other people avbout this or that problem, but with time it became easier nd easier for him to talk about such things with Laurelin. She always listened to him and tried to offer him her advice, and she always found a way to make him feel better. He came to confide his fears and his most intimate thoughts to her more and more often, when they were alone together, in the evenings. He also asked for her opinion about more trivial matters, like the weapons he was forging or the small decisions he had to take as a King. It was important for him to know what Laurelin thought about it, because she always gave him good advice. Her wisdom soon became indispensable to him.

But there was also another change in Thorin's attitude towards Laurelin : he touched her more often, now. Sometimes, when he was worried about Laurelin, or when he talked with her about very important – or very personal – matters, he took her small hand in his and kept it there for a long time. He liked feeling the warmth of her skin against his. It always made him feel better, even after a hard day of work – like a soothing balm on a burning wound. After a while, touching her became so natural to him that he did it without thinking. His hand just reached out on its own to find Laurelin's, as if they were made to be linked together.

Laurelin, on her side, never denied him this small pleasure. She knew he needed it, and she also enjoyed this pysical contact whenever it happened.

Slowly, their bond grew stronger and stronger. Each moment they spend together was like a new threat that strenghtened their friendship.

A few weeks after Thorin's return, as the hot summer turned into a warm, glowing autmun with fiery red trees and silvery mornings bathed in fog, Thorin came to see Laurelin one morning. She was peeling potatoes for the midday meal, and she was quite surprised to see Thorin in the house when she thought him busy in the forge.

 **« I need to go and see Balin. »** he told her, showing her a perfectly rolled piece of parchment. Laurelin recognized Master Balin's elegant handwriting. **« Can you please see that the fire doesn't go out in the forge ? »**

 **« Of course. »** she answered, wondering what could be important enough to get Thorin to leave his work. But she didn't ask, though If Thorin wanted her to know about it, he would talk about it soon enough, she knew it.

 **« Do you need something from the market ? »** he asked. **« Since I won't be far, I can get you a thing or two, if you need. »**

 **« Oh no, my King, I've already bought everything I need yesterday. »**

And even if she had needed something, she would have gotten it herself. She wouldn't have asked it of him. The idea that Thorin himself – that she still saw as _her King_ , in spite of the growing tenderness between them – had to go and buy things for her, as if he were a mere lowborn lackey, was inconceivable.

After saying good-bye, Thorin left the house and Laurelin went about her own business for the rest of the morning. When Thorin came home at last, he just wolfed down his meal and hurried back to the forge, to finish the sword he had been working on before being interrupted. He didn't stop for hours and hours, and night was almost falling when he reappeared in the kitchen, looking exhausted but quite happy. He bathed quickly, then they ate together the hearty dinner Laurelin had prepared : roast meat seasoned with herbs, vegetables from the garden, and a heavy loaf of dark bread with cereals. It was simple food, but it was good and they both emptied their plates in no time.

Afterwards, since the nights were starting to get fresh, they chose to stay indoors. As usually, they sat in front of the fire, side by side. Very close to each other. Thorin enjoyed this closeness with Laurelin, and they played dice for a while, chattering and joking and laughing and enjoying themselves after a long day of work.

After two games, though, Thorin got up again.

Puzzled, Laurelin looked up at him ; usually they playing much longer than just two games, but maybe he was very tired tonight ?

 **« I'll be right back. »** he said with a strange smile on his lips.

When he came back, a few minutes later, he had something in his hand. A small parcel wrapped in green leaves, and bound with sisal ropes. Laurelin recognized where it came from at once . She oftenv vivited Udwig's shop, and knew the woman used such leaves to wrap her cheeses.

 **« I... I told you we don't need anything from the market, didn't I ? »** she asked, trying to remember the conversation they had before Thorin had left the house.

In fact, they still had almost half a wheel of cheese in the pantry. It would be enough for several weeks.

So what is this all about ? she wondered.

A beaming smile stretched Thorin's lips as he put the parcel into Laurelin's hands.

 **« Open it. »** he said cheerfully.

Curious, Laurelin didn't lose any time to obey. She opened the knot with her deft fingers, then she softly unwrapped the leave. She gasped in surprise when she saw what was inside : not the cheap and common goat cheese of the mountains, as the one they still had in the panty, but rich and creamy cheese made with cow milk. Very few people could afford to raise milk cows in the mountains, because these animals were not made to live at such an altitude, on steep rocky mountainsides – so cow cheese was terribly expensive. Laurelin smelled it, and sighed in delight.

 **« It smells wonderful. »** she said, trying to guess how much it had cost.

 **« I was sure you would like it. »** Thorin replied, looking fondly at her.

Laurelin wrapped it in its leaf again and put in the pantry, where the cool air would keep it fresh for a long time. Then they spent the rest of the evening playing, warmed by the fire as much as by the pleasure of being together.

Once they were too tired to concentrate on the tiny numbers written on the dice, they cleared the game away and they just sat there, on the thick and comfortable sheepsking, watching the fire. For a very long time, Laurelin had been unable to watch a fire, because it used to remind her so strongly of her parent's death, the day Smaug had attacked Erebor. But as the years had gone by, she had learned to overcome that old fear, and now the fireplace had become her favourite part of the house – even more so when Thorin was sitting next to her, like he was tonight. They didn't talk, but it was a very comfortable silence. Laurelin felt good, and contented.

Suddenly, without saying a word, Thorin put his arm around Laurelin's shoulders. He hadn't really decided to do it. Not consciously, anyways. He had just been so relaxed that he had allowed his arm to do what he had unconsciously wanted – but not dared – to do for a very long time. It was a very natural, very spontaneous gesture, full of tenderness.

Utterly surprised, Laurelin looked up at him, and they shared a long, affectionate look.

After a while she relaxed in his arms and cuddled against him, against the warmth of his strong body. She realized at once that it was a good place to be.

Thorin watched her for a moment, surprised to see how quickly and how comfortably she had settled herself against him, as if she had unconsciously been waiting for this to happen. As if she had found her true place where she wanted to stay for the rest of her life.

He sighed, then he breathed in her smell.

He looked out of the open window at the dark sky filled with sparkling stars. A few birds were still singing, and a dog barked in the far distance. The air was full of the delicate fragrance of the lilac trees standing in front of the house.

This night was perfect, he reflected, as his eyes fell back on Laurelin.

This _moment_ was was perfect.

On the next morning, Laurelin greeted Thorin with a beaming smile, and she explained to him that she was about to prepare a very special meal with the cheese he had bought for her. Thorin couldn't help but smile as he was faced with her joyful mood. He had hesitated for a very long time before buying the cheese, because he wanted to buy something that would really make her happy, and now he was glad she enjoyed it. Seeing her smile was wonderful.

He spent the morning working on arrow heads, but when the bells rang in the village, at midday, he was even more eager than usual to see what Laurelin had prepared. The smell coming from the kitcen was delicious, in any case.

 **« I hope you will like it, my King. »** she said, looking both very pleased and a bit anxious. **« This cheese was probably so expensive, I just hope I didn't spoil it... »**

 **« I'm sure you didn't.** » Thorin said reassuringly.

They sat at the table together, and they ate the pie Laurelin had prepared. When Thorin used his knif to cut the crisp and golden crust, a thick white cream poured out of it. It was stufed with meat and mushrooms and molten cheese, and the smell was just divine. Thorin felt his stomach rumble loudly. He served Laurelin the first part, then he put another one into his own plate. He had never been so impatient to start eating.

And when his plate was empty, he realized the pie had been even better than what he had expected by smelling it.

 **« This was the most wonderful meal I've eaten in a long time, »** he said. **« I just hope it wasn't too much trouble for you to prepare it. »**

 **« Oh no, it was easy enough. I'm just not used to using such expensive products. It was new, to me. I was terribly afraid I would make a mess of it. »**

 **« You did wonderfully, as usual. You're an amazing cook, Laurelin. »**

 **« You shouldnt have bought such expensive food. »** she said, feeling a bit ill at ease because she knew he had bought it only for her, as a gift.

 **« I wanted to buy something special to make you happy. »** he explained, shrugging. **« Something that you do not eat every day. »**

 **« There would have been more important things to pay with this money. »**

 **« What good is there to work hard every day and earn money, if you can't use this money to please the people who count for you ? »**

Laurelin didn't know how to reply to this question, so she just smiled.

 **« Thank you, my King. »** she said once more. **« It did make me happy. »**

In truth, what made her really happy was not the cheese in itself, but the fact that it came from Thorin himself. His gesture had touched her. Some woman may want jewelry and expensive furs, but Laurelin needed no more than a piece of cheese to be happy – as long as it came from the right person, of course.

Slowly, weeks and months went by, without any noticeable changes. Every now and then, Thorin came home with other small surprises for Laurelin : dried and salted hams, rare fruits or vegetables coming from other parts of the world, cakes and pastries stuffed with sugar and cream, and once he even brought her a small shrub to plant in her garden.

 **« It will produce very tasty berries, in autmun, »** he told her, and Laurelin hurried to plant it in a shady spot of her garden.

Every time, Thorin was so happy to see her smiling that he could barely contain his enthusiasm. He was proud to be the one who brought this smile on her lips, and taking care of her always left him with a deep, heart-warming feeling of satisfaction.

After so many years of taking care of Thorin, Laurelin now deserved to be taken care of, and he liked the idea of being the one who did it.


	17. AN IMPORTANT DECISION

For a while after his return, Thorin managed to keep Gandalf and his warnings out of his mind. The pleasure of being back home and of enjoying Laurelin's presence was enough to make the King forget about the wizard's bad omens. But then days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and the memory of this encounter in Bree came to haunt Thorin more and more often. People trying to kill him... People trying to creep into Erebor to steel Thrain's gold now that the dragon has not been sighted for many years... Such thoughts were unbearable to Thorin. He couldn't just stay here and wait and do nothing. It was not in his nature. If Smaug was truly dead, he had to do something before sombeody else could take advantage of the situation.

 _Maybe the time to reclaim our homeland has come at last,_ he reflected.

Yet every time he reached this conclusion, the idea of leaving his home once more hit his

m in the face, as hard as if he had run into a wall of concrete. His village, his work at the forge, his family and his friends... His people, who looked up to him to guide them... And Laurelin, too... Even more than anything else, there was Laurelin... Thorin still remembered very clearly, from his previous journey, how hard it had been to leave her behind and to live without her... It had felt like being ripped in two... Like being cut away from an essential part of himself... He didn't want to be in this situation again – not now, not ever.

And it would be dangerous, too. He knew it. This time it would not be about roaming the wilderness in search for a lost Dwarf. This time it would be a journey full of dangers. According to Gandalf, some people seemed to believe the dragon was dead, but Thorin didn't belive these rumors. Smaug was probably only asleep. They would have to sneak past him without waking him, and then... then what ? Slip the treasure out of Erebor, one coin after the other ? Or try to kill the dragon while he was asleep ? And what about the Arkenstone ? It they really managed to find it among all the other treasures, would Dain really rally to him ? Or would he have to face the beast on hios own once more, as he had on the day the dragon had taken Erebor ?

All these questions were gnawing at Thorin, day and night. He had built himself a comfortable life, here in the Blue Mountains. And the others Dwarves had done the same. Thorin didn't want to leave all this behind. He didn't want to take the risk to lose it all. He didn't want to bring ruin and death to his people once more.

 _If we go on this quest and we don't succeed, what then ? Will be come back home empty-handed and shamed ? Will we come home at all ?_

 _What if we wake Smaug's anger and he comes here in retaliation ?_

But what if the dragon was truly dead ?

What if someone was already trying to steal the gold of the Dwarves ?

Thorin sighed heavily. So many questions, and no answers. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. For the first time in his life, he felt completely lost.

He joined his hands in front of his face and blew into his hands to keep them warm. Winter had come, and the night was icy cold, but Thorin didn't care. He knew he had to take this decision – maybe the most important decision of his life – and the fact that he didn't know what would be best for his people made him feel frustrated and angry with himself.

Of course, he had talked about it with several other Dwarves, in particular with Balin and Dwalin, his most trusted friends. Balin had been against the idea of going on this quest he was a soft-spoken and gentle Dwarf, yet he had made it clear he didn't like this idea. _Is Erebor and its gold truly worthy of all the sacrifices we will have to make in order to reclaim them ? Why should we go looking for a lost kingdom, when we already have everything we need, right here ?_ Dwalin, on the other side, had been quite eager to go. If Thorin had listened to the warrior, they would have left at once, without even taking the time to prepare anything. And of course Thorin had also spoken to his sister. Dis was, after all, a member of the royal family as well. The Dwarf woman had openly opposed Thorin, calling this quest « a folly ».

Thorin sighed again as he remembered their words and reactions. All in all, it hadn't helped him much to go and talk to them.

He looked back towards his house, and saw Laurelin's silhouette bhind the window. He hadn't talked with her about it, yet. Of course the young woman had understood at once that something was wrong with Thorin, because it was unusual for him to isolate himself like that in the evening. But she didn't know why. So far, Thorin had told her nothing about his possible journey, because he knew it would have worried her – and worrying her was the last thing he wanted. The idea of hurting or terrifying her unnecessarily was unbearable.

Yet Thorin felt so lost that he knew he had no choice anymore, now. He needed Laurelin's opinion on this. As much as it hurt him to shatter her happiness.

 _Maybe her words will help me take my decision,_ he thought hopefully.

He walked towards the house, and slowly opened the door. There was an unpleasant knot in his stomach as he gathered to courage to go and talk to Laurelin. She saw him at once. She smiled, but it was only a small, worried smile. She was not stupid. She had understood that something important was about to happen.

 **« Is there something wrong, my King ? »** she asked in a small voice, looking Thorin straight into the eyes.

Thorin took a deep breath.

 _Sorry, dear Laurelin, for bringing these bad news upon you, when you deserve happiness more than any other Dwarf._

 **« Laurelin, there is... there is something I need to tell you... »** He moistened his lips and forced a smile upon them. « **When I was away to look for my father, I met someone. You may have heard about him : Gandalf, the Grey Wizard. We had a conversation. We... He told me things. Important things. And now I am troubled. »** He hesitated. Laurelin encouraged him with a smile, and finally he told her everything. Every one of Gandalf's words, every fear, every hope. Everything. It took him very long, but in the end he felt an intense relief when it was done. As if somebody had taken off a heavy weight from his chest.

When he was finished, Laurelin had to sit on a chair. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Erebor ? Was he truly talking about reclaiming Erebor ? No, he couldn't. That was impossible, wasn't it ? But then she looked at him, at his face, and she understood how serious he was about this quest. She felt as if the world had just crumbled under her feet. Her heart was suddenly beating faster, and her palms were wet from cold sweat. She knew Thorin waited for her answer, yet it took her a while to hide her deep unease behind a mask of politeness.

 **« If such is your decision, my King, then you must do it. »** she said in a stricken voice, before nodding briefly in approval. She lowered her eyes, ashamed. She was no liar, and it hurt her to tell him something that was not her true thoughts. Yet Thorin was her King and she felt it was her duty to agree with everything he decided. He probably needed her support more than ever, right now. Who was she, after all, to tell him he was wrong ?

She nodded one more time, then she bid him good-night.

 **« It is late, and I need some sleep. »** She realized her attitude was cold and distant, but it was the best she could do.

 **« Don't run away from me, please... Laurelin. »** Thorin begged as he caught up with her. **« You tell me one thing, but your attitude and the sadness in your eyes tell me a complete different story. Please, Laurelin... Be honest. Tell me what you truly think of this. »**

The young woman took a deep breath. She promised herself to be as honest as possible without openly opposing him, because opposing him was something she didn't have the  
strength to do.

 **« I am afraid and I don't understand. »** She started hesitantly, not sure how much she could say without betraying her true fears. **« I will be terribly afraid for you, if you get near that cursed mountain again... I can't understand why you want to do this, when we already have everything we need, right here. »** She looked around, at the house where they were living. It had become a true home, and Laurelin hed lived more happy moments here than she had done in Erebor, when she was no more than a mere serving girl. **« Yet if you feel this is your duty as our King, then I repeat what I told you earlier : you should do it, or else you will regret it for the rest of your life. You will go to bed every night wondering – what if I had done it ? »** She paused, ill at ease. **« I trust you. If you say it is necessary, then I believe you. »** She felt tears prickle her eyes, but she refused to let them run free. **« And now if you would excuse me, please... I did not lie to you when I told you I am tired and I need rest. I will go to bed early, tonight. »**

Thorin nodded and bid her good-night, then he watched her climb the stairs. He was still confused and undecided, and he was definitely not able to think straight right now. He needed a few hours of sleep before being able to sort out what Laurelin had just told him. But he had seen the sadness and the chock in her eyes, and the idea that he had been the one inflicting this on her made him cringe with guilt. Yet in spite of everything, she had still found the strength to be honest, and to show him how much she trusted and supported him. It was a quality that Thorin greatly admired, and somehow it would give even more importance to her words, once he would be in a state to think clearly about it.

While Thorin undressed and slipped into his night clothes, Laurelin closed the door of her bedroom and collapsed on the bed. She didn't have the strength to hold back her tears any longer, so she just let them flow down her round cheeks. So Thorin would leave her once more – and leave her to fight a _dragon_ ! What did he hope to do ? Kill the beast ? And what if he failed ? What would happen if he ended up as a charred corpse in the empty hall of Erebor ?

 _I will never be able to survive this._ She realized. _Knowing he's far away, and in such a great danger. Living with fear from dawn till dusk. Spending my nights wondering whether he is dead or alive, whether I will see him again or not. That's too much. Just too much. I can't._

Then she closed her eyes tightly, and buried her face in her pillow.

 _But if he decides to do it, I will have no choice but to accept it and watch him leave._

Next morning, after a long sleepless night, Thorin woke up determined and clear-minded, for the first time in a very long time. He had taken his decision at last. As expected, it was Laurelin's words who had helped him take that decision : _I trust you,_ she had said, and these words meant a lot to Thorin. _If you feel this is your duty as our King, then you should do it._ And she had been right about it, of course. Thorin didn't see this quest as something he wanted to do, but as something he had to do. A duty. There was no choice for him, as Laurelin had made it clear the evening before.

It was still very early, so Thorin tried to be as quiet as possible because Laurelin was still asleep in her bed, and he didn't want to wake her.

Let her sleep while she can. Times will be hard enough, for her, when you will be gone.

Thorin went to see Balin, and announced him he had made up his mind.

 **« I will go and try to reclaim Erebor. »** He said, looking his old friend straight in the eyes. **« I know you disagree. I know you don't like the idea of leaving the Blue Mountains and risking our lives against a dragon, but you are my most loyal and most trusted friend. It would be an honour for me if you decided to join me in this quest. »**

Balin shook his head, at first, but then he considered Thorin for a while. His hair was white and his face had aged, but his eyes were still as keep and sharp as any Dwarf's.

 **« All right. »** He sighed at last. **« Now that you have taken a decision, I know that nothing in this world will be able to make you change your mind. And I can't let you leave on your own. That would be foolish. I'm coming with you. »** He paused, then he nodded. **« Two is not enough to steal a treasure and face a dragon. We will need to find other Dwarves, too. Dwarves who know how to fight and who won't fear to face danger. »**

Thorin nodded his approval.

 **« Do what must be done to find such Dwarves, then. »** The King told Balin. **« But not just anybody who is willing to follow us. They need to be strong and fierce, but also loyal and reliable. These two qualities are more important than anything else. You brother will definitely join us, I suppose ? »**

 **« Dwalin ? Oh yes, he's only wiating for your go-ahead. »** Balin chuckled sotly as he talked about his brother's eagerness to go to battle, yet inside the old Dwarf felt very cold, very tired. Fear and dread filled his heart.

 **« But even Dwalin won't be enough. »** Thorin said. **« You'll need to find others. »**

 **« It will be done. »** Balin assured him.

They discussed a few more points about the preparations of the journey, then Thorin left Balin's house again. He walked back home, and when he reached the forge he saw Laurelin working in the kitchen. He felt a pang of guilt at the idea of leaving her behind, all alone, one more time. And this time it would be even worse, he realized. Balin would be gone, too. Laurelin would not be able to find help and solace in the old Dwarf's books this time.

He sighed, and frowned. What would she do while he would be gone ? This idea frightened him, and almost made him change his mind.

Then he remembered the walls of Erebor, and the gold. He remembered home.

 _It will be hard for her, but if we succeed I will be able to offer her a life a thousand times better than this one..._

He took a deep breath, and entered the kitchen to greet her.


	18. FAREWELL

In the days and weeks that followed, Thorin helpd Laurelin to find herself another work somewhere. Of course he knew she would have been able to find something herself, but he wanted to make sure the work was worthy and gratifying for her. There mere fact that she would have to work during his absence was painful enough, but since she had no choice – the money he had planned to leave for her would probably not be enough – he wanted to make sure, at least, that she would be well treated. He didn't want her to be a servant, or some other lowly job. Laurelin was clever and resourceful, and she desevered a good place somewhere.

After a few days, after she came back from the market, Laurelin announced that she had talked with Dwna the seamstress, who would be ready to hire her for a few months.

 **« Of course I don't have the knowledge to do dresses or other complicated pieces of clothins. »** She said. **« But I could help her with the easier tasks, and do some embroidery, and help her clean the shop in the evening. »**

Thorin watched her closely. The prospect of working with Dwna seemed to please her, so he nodded approvingly and told her he was happy she had found something so quickly. Besides, working as a seamstress would be quiet, pleasant work for Laurelin, who enjoyed sewing and mending and doing embroidery. And Dwna was an honorable woman, who would not exploit her new worker. Thorin trusted her, and his heart felt slightly less heavy.

A few more days went by, then a few weeks. Preparing an expedition like this one was not an easy task both Balin and Thorin were working hard on gathering the tools, the food and the weapons they would need during the journey. They had also found a few companions. Dwalin, of course, was going with them. Fili and Kili had decided to join them, but Thorin had welcomed his nephews with mixed feelings the idea of putting them through any form of danger displeased him, yet on the other side he was proud two have such fierce, skilled warriors at his side. They were old enough now to be given a chance to prove themselves. Making them stay home like a pair of helpless little boys would have been such an humiliation for them, and Thorin refused to insult them in such a way. They would go with him. But he promised himself to keep an eye on both of them, especially Kili who tended to be a bit reckless and foolish sometimes. Oin the healer would follow them too, as well as his brother Gloin. Thorin was happy to count them among his men a healer was particularly useful when you go on a dangerous quest, and Gloin's money would be welcome too. Then there were the three brothers Dori, Nori and Ori – Thorin was not sure Ori, the youngest, had what it took to stay alive on such a dangerous journey, but he hadn't refused him. Everybody was welcome. Thorin didn't ask for warriors or fighters or anything, he just wanted loyal Dwarves who were ready to do their best.

Thorin spent his last evening in the Blue Mountains with Laurelin, of course. They had opened a book and they read it together, as they loved to do it helped them keep their minds away from what would happene the next day. They clung to this last bit of normality in their lives, before dawn would make them face grief and loneliness.

That night they stayed up late, even later than usual, trying to enjoy these last moments spent together. Thorin knew he would soon be deprived of Laurelin's presence, so he made the most of every minute every second spent in her company.

When the moment came at last to part and go to sleep, they looked at each other and realized at the same moment that this was the last time – probably for a very long time, if not forever – they would be in this situation. The next nights would be very lonely indeed, for both of them. Laurelin started crying in silence she didn't even try to hide the tears running down her cheeks. It would have been useless : the pain of being alone so very soon was too strong to be hidden behind an emotionless mask.

 _And what if he never comes back ? What if that damned dragon kills him ?_

Thorin seemed to guess her thoughts, because he put his strong arms around her and hugged her for a long while, rocking her as if she were just a little girl in need of comfort. As he held her against his heart like that, Thorin realized how hard it would be, tomorrow, to leave her behind. He would miss her so much. And he would hurt her, also, by putting her in a very difficult situation. He was worried about her, and about what would happen to her once she would be alone so far she had always been under Thorin's protection, even if they were not directly together. Everybody knew she worked for him. Everybody knew they owed her respect if they didn't want to attract the wrath of their king upon themselves. But now ? With him and all the most worthy Dwarves gone ? Would his memory be enough to protect her ? And the fact that she was crying so much made it even harder for Thorin to do his duty. He pressed her tighter against his chest, trying to make her feel better but knowing very well that nothing in the world could soothe the pain away.

They climbed the stairs together, with Thorin's arm around Laurelin's waist, to support her in case her legs failed her. She looked so frail so vulnerable right now. Thorin wanted nothing but to stay here at her side forever, yet he knew he couldn't.

He hugged her one more time in front of the door leading to her bedroom, then he bid her good-night.

 **« Everything will be fine. »** He told her in his most reassuring voice, even though he knew it was just a lie. He himself was not sure he would be able to endure such a long journey without her  
at his side.

Laurelin spent the rest of the night crying loudly in her bed, weeping bitter tears till he pillow was soaked with them.

Thorin, who was sleeping in the neighbor room, could hear her muffled sobs through the thick wall of stone. He desperately wished there was something he could do about, but giving up on his quest was not an option for him. He had to do it, no matter how hard it was for both of them.

Next morning, Laurelin helped Thorin to load his bags on the pony's back. Some other Dwarves had gathered around them to watch the King leave the village, but Laurelin did her best to ignore them. She and Thorin chatted, and did their best to talk only about cheerful things, but the tension was still palpable between them. It was obvious to anybody who witnessed the scene that Thorin was worried for Laurelin his eyes never left her, and he kept repeating the same advices to her, to be dure she would not come to trouble during his absence. Of course Laurelin was old enough to know the dangerous places – and wise enough to avoid them – yet Thorin felt it necessary to tell it to her once more, to calm his own anxiety. He also gave her a list of all the trust-worthy Dwarves in town, starting with Dis who would also be left alone, since both her sons would join Thorin.

 **« The house will be all yours. »** He told her, looking at the forge. The fire in the oven had gone out, and the place looked oddly cold and dreary. **« I also left a small chest with money, so you can buy yourself everything you need. Food, of course, but also wood to warm yourself when winter will come. Don't hesitate to use it, please. I want to be sure you will have everything you need while I am gone. It may not be enough, but Dwna will pay you decent wages to provide for your own needs. »**

He had to restrain from asking – for the hundredth time – if everything would be fine for her.

When the last bag was loaded onto the pony again, Laurelin started crying again. She didn't even care about the onlookers anymore.

Thorin was deeply touched by her tears. It was obvious that she truly cared for him, and it made him feel oddly flattered – which made it all the more difficult to say good-bye to her. He would have loved to cut himself in two : one half to go reconquer Erebor, one other half to stay with Laurelin, but it was impossible.

Before leaving, he cast her one last look, and in his blue eyes Laurelin could see everything he was feeling for her. How ouch he cared for her – as a companion, as a friend. No one had ever been as close to him as Laurelin. No one understood him like Laurelin. To her, he was not just a king, but a man. She saw him in his every-day life, when he dropped the mask of a king he usually wore when he was around othe people. She knew what was behind the title, and right now she was not staring at the mighty King Thorin Oakenshield, but at the kind and gentle man who shared her days and her evenings. She also knew how worried he was right now worried that his plans abour reconquering Erebor might not go as planned, worried to leave leave his home and his people, and – more than anything else – worried to leave Laurelin alone. She felt touched to see how much she counted to him, and how he was not ashamed to show it in front of all the Dwarves gathered arounf them. The time when she was only a servant was definitely over.

While they waited for all the other Dwarves of Thorin's company to be ready – Thorin and Laurelin exchanged a few last words. Thorin told her as much details as possible about his quest, and he asked her many questions about what she would do in his absence deep down he knew that Laurelin would be all right, yet it made him less anxious to talk about all these things. It reassured him, and somehow he hoped it would also reassure Laurelin.

Then Balin came to tell Thorin that everybody was ready.

 **« They're waiting for you on the southern road. »** The old Dwarf told his King, before leaving to join the others there.

Thorin nodded, then he turned to Laurelin.

 **« I need to leave, now. »** He said in a regretful voice. He made a few steps, then he stopped again and looked at Laurelin over his shoulder. He didn't say anything, yet the look on his face was clear enough. _Stay with me._ His blue eyes pleaded, and Laurelin lost no time in obeying Thorin's  
silent plea.

She joined him on the road and walked with him through the village, without caring about the people around them. It didn't take them long to reach the last houses. The other Dwarves were already gahtered on the road. Fili and Kili, who had grown up knowing Laurelin, greeting her with a beaming smile. They were overexcited to be on such a journey – their first real aventure – and they paced restlessly on their ponies.

Thorin halted at a short ditance from the others. Laurelin stopped as well. They looked at each other, then Thorin hugged Laurelin as tightly as possible without hurting her. His chin rested on her shoulders, and he closed his eyes to better enjoy the moment. And in the end, it was Laurelin who broke the hug, because she knew he had to go.

They looked at each other once more, for a long moment.

 **« We will see each other again in the halls of Erebor. »** Thorin told her gravely. **« In the meantime, please take care of yourself. »** Then he smiled. **« I will think of you every day. »** He continued. **« The memory of your smile and your kindness will help me endure the loneliness of this long journey. And I hope... I hope that maybe you will think of me, too ? »**

He took one of Laurelin's hands in both his hands and squeezed it tightly, finding some comfort in this familiar touch.

 **« Of course I will. »** She assured him, blushing slightly.

 **« In Erebor, then. »** He said as a conclusion.

Laurelin nodded, and then Thorin let go of her hand, very reluctantly. He wished he could have held her like that forever.

Laurelin watched him join the other Dwarves of his company. Balin and Dwalin immediately started talking to him, and Laurelin did her best to keep her composure as she watched Thorin mount on his pony's back.

Before leaving town, Thorin turned back one last time, with a sad smile. He waved at Laurelin, who waved back at him.

And then the Dwarves kicked their ponies in the ribs, and rode away. Watching Thorin's silhouette dwindle with every step was torture for Laurelin. When she felt she couldn't endure it anymore, she started following them on the narrow, rocky mountain trail. She didn't wear the right shoes to climb on rocks and steep roads, yet she didn't even care. The only thing that mettered to her was to streal one last glimpse of Thorin.

She reached a small promontory from which she could see the road below her it spread like a grey ribbon of stone through the green and lush alpine meadows. Tears started pouring down Laurelin's face as she saw Thorin, riding at the head of the line of Dwarves. He looked proud and determined in the rich travelling clothes she had helped him choose, but soon he turned into a blur as the tears filled her eyes.

As if Thorin had felt her presence, or maybe her gaze on his back, he suddenly turned around and looked up at her. He didn't have to search his eyes just fell on her as if they had been drawn to Laurelin by some sort of magic. He slowed down his pony and waved at her once more, a sad smile on his face. Then he urged his strong little pony forwards again, and they all resumed their walk down the mountain. Every now and then, Thorin turned around to look at Laurelin, but every time he was small, more distant, till he was no more than a dark spot in the distance.

Laurelin closed her eyes for a few seconds, and then – without thinking – she just climbed down the promontory and ran after them. She had scratched the palm of her right hand but she didn't care. She didn't even feel the pain, nor the warmth of the blood covering her hand.

 **« Thorin. »** She whispered, to no one in particular. She burst in tears as she said his name, because she realized it was truly the end, this time. He was gone, maybe forever.

She ran till she almost reached them, and then suddenly she stopped. She was dishevelled and breathless, but what truly stopped her was the fear of Thorin's reaction : _What would he think of her, if he saw her running after him like some silly desperate little girl ?_ She didn't want to make him feel ashemed in front of his most loyal companions. She hoped he hadn't seen her acting like that. She actually felt a bit ashamed of herself. She shouldn't have acted so rashly, and she hoped no one had been witness to her foolishness.

Yet Thorin had seen her. She had stopped behind a small grove of pine trees, leaning against a tree to recover her breath, and she was half hidden in the shadows, but Thorin could see her as clearly as if she had stood in the open. He pulled on the reins and stopped his pony. The fact that she had ran after him triggered something in him, and suddenly he felt a powerful urge to hold her one last time, to breathe in her smell, to her her voice. He made the pony turn around, and he watched Laurelin till she realized he was watching her. Her big brown eyes opened wide as they met Thorin's. He hoped she would come to him, yet she didn't move and he felt a pang of disappointment as he realized his hopes to hug her one more time would not come true. She had probably changed her mind, now, and Thorin didn't want to inflict one more painful parting on her.

 _She probably just wanted to watch us leave._ He told himself, as he put his pony into the line once more.

 **« Farewell, Laurelin. »** He whispered in his beard, but the wind carried away his words before anybody could hear them.

When Laurelin saw him turn his back on her, she forgot about her resolutions to walk back to the village. It was too much. She ran after Thorin and the other Dwarves, screaming his name in despair. At one moment she tripped on a rock and fell on the ground, scraping her knees on the hard ground, but she got up as if nothing had happened and just kept running.

Thorin's heart broke as he saw her like that. He jumped down from his pony and gave the reins to Balin, who gave Thorin a puzzled look.

 **« Wait for me. »** He ordered the other Dwarves.

Then he started to walk towards Laurelin at first he walked slowly, but then he gave in to his feelings and started running. He didn't even care about dignity anymore. When he was close enough, he called out her name, then he flung his arms around her and lifted her off the ground. His arms were so strong Laurelin feared he would crush her, but she welcomed this embrace with such joy that more tears ran down her face.

 **« Everything will be all right. »** He breathed into her neck. Laurelin could feel his hot breath on her neck, and it made her shiver in a way that had nothing to do with being cold. She put her own arms around him and gripped the back of his long mantle, then she burried her face in his shoulder. The fur on his collar tickled her.

 **« Please don't go away. »** She pleaded in a weak voice. Her hands were trembling with emotion, and her eyes were burning with bitter tears of grief and despair.

 **« I can't, and you know it. »** Thorin answered, overwhelmed with guilt. He hated the fact that his own decisions were hurting her. She didn't deserve this. **« Me and my companions, we have to take back Erebor – or at least try to do so. If we reconquer the halls of our glorious ancestors, we will a proud folk again. We will reclaim the glory and the pride we lost when Smaug robbed us of our home. We will be able to look other folk in the eyes again, without blushing in shame. »** He paused, and looked intently at Laurelin. **« Once it will be done, nothing will ever come between us again, I promise you. »** He smiled reassuringly. **« But for now, you have to be strong. I know you can do it. I have faith in you and in your fortitude. You have to be strong, so my mind will not be filled with dread and worry every time I think about you. You have to be strong, so I can concentrate on the main problem : getting rid of a fire-breathing dragon and Mahal only knows what other dangers. Please, Laurelin. Do not give in to despair. Be the strong woman I know you can be – the rock on which I will be able to lean on when times get hard during  
our mission. »**

He looked at her with such intensity, such faith that Laurelin felt her heart melt. She nodded in silence, then their gazes met. The young woman did her best to stop crying, to be as brave as he wanted her to be.

Thorin kept talking to her in a very reassuring voice for a very long time, till she relaxed a bit in his arms. Then he released her from his embrace and told her one last time :

 **« Everything will be all right, Laurelin. Take care of yourself... for me... »**

Then he did something he had never done before : he kissed her on the cheek. It didn't last very long, but it was enough to convey to Laurelin all the love he was unconsciously feeling for her. It gave her the strength to nod once more, and to walk away from him a few steps.

As she looked at him with sad but determined eyes, Thorin did his best to hide how much it pained him to leave her. Kissing her – such a sponatenous, unplanned move – had made him realize the depth of the feelings he was having for her, making everything all the more difficult. He wondered why he had never kissed her before, because it felt so good, so natural... And for a fleeting moment, he saw himself sitting in front of the fire, Laurelin cuddled against him, feeling safe and comfortable and happy. This was what he wanted. Safety and happiness, not the tears and the grief that he saw in Laurelin's big eyes.

 _But the only way to get this will be to reconquer Erebor._ He reflected. _We will never be truly happy if we don't go through this ordeal._

Thorin grabbed Laurelin's hand, and they walked together for a few steps. Then he slowly opened his hand to release Laurelin's, squeezing the tip of her fingers before letting go completely.

Laurelin looked up at him.

 **« Îmri zaiza... »** She said in a soft, warm whisper.

It was the first time she had talked to him in khûzdhul, their nativr language. Long ago, the Dwarves of Erebor only talked to each other in khûzdhul, but after they had fled the Mountain they had lived with other folks. To keep their language secret, they had started speaking the Common Language, and slowly this habit became rooted in their spirits. When they had reached the Blue Mountains and brought this village back to life, most of the Dwarves – including Laurelin – had kept the old habits and continued to use the Common Language.

But today had been different. Laurelin was so shaken, so overwhelmed with emotions that she had automatically used her native language, the one she had spoken with her parents so long ago, back in the time when she lived in the cosy cocoon of their love and protection.

Thorin's eyes widened in surprise when he heard her words. Hearing such strong words spoken in the old, half-forgotten language was a shock, to him – but a pleasant one. It made him understand how much she truly desired to stay at his side, no matter the danger. He took her hand once more, and answered in the same language :

 **« I would like to... »** He started, but then he didn't find the words to continue. He wanted to tell her so many things, yet the words refused to come out of his throat. He wished he could take her with him, so that they would not be separated, but he knew how dangerous this quest would be. A dragon was no joke, and Thorin didn't want to bring Laurelin anywhere close to the beast. He opened his mouth to tell her all these things, but she shook her head very slowly, very sadly.

 **« I know. »** She said. **« I can't come. »**

But she had seen in his eyes how much Thorin wanted to stay close to her, she had seen his pain and his sadness and his regret.

After a while, Laurelin sighed and pulled her hand out of Thorin's grip, breaking the contact between them. She opened the first button of her linen shirt, and pulled out the small necklace she had worn every day since her grand-mother's death. The small black bird was shining in the sun. She smiled asdly, then she put it into Thorin's big, scarred hands, before closing his fingers around it. The pendant was still warm from resting against Laurelin's chest.

Then Laurelin looked up at Thorin once more :

 **« Please, my King. »** She said in a soft and humble voice. **« Please don't forget me. You will be gone for a long time and you will journey to the other end of the world, so please accept this small gift that will help you to remember me. »** Then she cleared her throat and continued. **« Because I will never forget you. You will be in my thoughts all the time, and I will watch your return every day. »**

Thorin stared at the small black bird in his hand. It was made of black, polished onyx, but Thorin did not even see its beauty he was lost in the memory of the last time he had seen that necklace, on the day Laurelin's grand-mother had passed away, so long ago. He knew how important that necklace was to Laurelin, not for its worth (it was no more than a bauble), but because there was so much memories, so much significance attached to it. Thorin knew how hard it must be for Laurelin to remove it from her neck and to give it away like that it broke his heart, and at the same time it made him feel warm inside to feel Laurelin's warmth in the palm of his rugged hand.

 **« I don't need this to remember you. »** He said, his voice hoarse with emotion. **« I could never forget you, Laurelin, but I swear I will take great care of it. And when we meet again I will put it back around your neck myself. »** He sighed once more. **« Every time I will look at it during our journey I will remember all the good moments we spent together, you and me. It will give me strength and courage. »**

Thorin put it in a small pocket of his undershirt, very close to his heart. The fact that it used to be over Laurelin's heart moments ago made him smile and comforted him.

 **« Thank you. »** He said. **« And try to remember that every passing day will bring us closer to the day of our reunion, Laurelin. »** He looked at her for a long time, then he continued : **« I really need to go, now, because if I wait too long all my courage and my determination to leave will have left me. »** He said regretfully.

He greeted her one last time, and then he joined the other Dwarves who were waiting for him. Once he was sitting on the back of his pony again, Thorin turned around to look at Laurelin. His eyes found hers.

 **« Wait for me. »** He mouthed silently, but Laurelin read the words on his lips. **« I  
will be back. »**

When Laurelin tore her eyes away from Thorin, she saw he other Dwarves exchange puzzled looks among each other no doubt they would discuss what they had just witnessed between Thorin and Laurelin, but she didn't care.

 **« Let's go. »** Thorin ordered his companions, looking at the horizon in front of him to avoid looking at his friends. He didn't want them to see the pain and hurt in his eyes – not because he was ashamed to feel such feelings for Laurelin, but because if he saw compassion in their eyes it would completely break his courage. He would not be able to leave, then.

Once the village had disappeared from their sight, Thorin clenched his teeth and took a big breath. As much as he hated leaving Laurelin alone, he tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. _It's just a few months, and after this we will be truly happy, in our homeland. In the place where we truly belong. It is necessary. We have to do it, because we all deserve it – and Laurelin deserves it more than anybody else. I will do it for her, to offer her a better life. And then nothing will ever separate us again. Nothing._

A small mile stretched his lips and he felt his reolve strenthen with every step of his pony.

 _A better life for Laurelin, yes._

That was definitely a good reason to do it.


	19. ON THE ROAD TO EREBOR - PART 1

When Thorin closed his eyes, he could almost feel at home. For the very first time in a long time, he was sitting at a table in a decent place, with good food in his plate and a warm fire roaring in the kitchen hearth. It was a pleasant sensation. It reminded him of Laurelin, and the warmth of her smile, and the music of her laughter. It reminded him of the comforts she was offering him daily. But then he opened his eyes again, and all he saw was a group of Dwarves, an old Wizard and a shy, nervous Hobbit. He sighed deeply. Bag End may be a comfortable place, but it was not home. And the presence of this « burglar » - or whatever else Bilbo was – only reminded him of what was awaiting them at the end of their journey.

That night when he went to bed, he thought about Laurelin more than any other night before. He hoped she was all right. He hoped she didn't lack anything. He hoped she was not too sad to be alone. Then he heard Fili and Kili laugh in the other bedroom, and he thought about Dis, too. He had left so much behind.

It took him long to fall asleep, and when he slept at last it was a restless sleep, full of dark dreams. He was quite glad when the morning sun woke him up, announcing another day of travelling. The Hobbit was still asleep, so the Dwarves left in silence, to not wake him up. Obviously Bilbo had made his choice, and he had chosen not to come with them Thorin would not drag him along by force. Little Bilbo was too soft, too gentle to survive in the wild anyway. It was better for him to stay home, with his books and his comfortable armchair.

They prepared the ponies and left Hobbiton as quickly as possible. They still had a long journey ahead of them.

Two hours later, though, they were surprised to hear Bilbo's shouts behind them. He was running towards them, with Balin's contract in his hands. He was breathless and flushed from his effort, but he had signed the contract, to Thorin's utter surprise.

 _What will I make of this one ?_ He wondered. Bilbo would be something of a burden, to them, Thorin was sure about it.

But Gandalf, at least, seemed to be pleased to have the tiny creature around.

They travelled all day long. Soon it started to rain, and they were all wet to the marrow of their bones. Most Dwarves complained loudly, but Thorin kept his bad mood to himsel it was not only the rain who annoyed him, but also that ever-present fear that gnawed at his mind whenever he thinking about Laurelin. Her picture never left his mind. She was with him, in his thought, from morning till evening. The fact that he had no news from her – and would have none till the end of his quest – made him feel frustrated and grumpy. He didn't know what she was doing, or if everything was well for her was she safe ? Did she have everything she needed ? Did she cry at night because she was feeling too lonely ? These questions kept tormenting him, to the point where sometimes at night he walked away from the camp to brood alone in the darkness. Most of the other Dwarves believed it had something to do with the quest, or with the prospect of having to fight a dragon soon, but Balin and Dwalin – who were Thorin's best friends – suspected it was about Laurelin, even if none of them ever talked about it with Thorin.

Some nights were even worse than others. Sometimes, Thorin missed Laurelin so much that it was almost a physical pain in the pit of his stomach on such days, Thorin wondered what had taken him to go on this quest. Did they really have a chance te kill the dragon and reclaim Erebor, or was this no more than a useless waste of precious time ? Would it not have been better to stay home, at Laurelin's side, where he was truly needed ?

Even Fili and Kili's bright mood were not enough to cheer up Thorin they laughed and they joked and they saw this quest as no more than an exciting adventure, unaware of the dangers lying ahead of them. Thorin did his best to always keep an eye on them, and so did Dwalin, too – because even if they were now adults, and good warriors, they had never known any hardship or real battle. They were not yet as hardened as the other Dwarves, and there was still a bit of childless naivety left in them. Thorin hoped they would not lose in on this journey. He hoped they would come out of this unscathed, because they were his kin and he loved them as much as if they were his own sons.

Once they had left the Shire, they reached a wide stretch of wildlands. The gentle towns and merry little roads disappeared, only to be replaced by steep rocky hillsides, or deep dark pine forests that swallowed the light of the sun, making them walk in darkness even at the brightest hours of the day. Bilbo – as Thorin had guessed – was as useless as he was clumsy the Hobbit had obviously never ridden a horse, and never spent a night out of his beloved little town. He was no help whatsoever, yet Thorin watched as his companions slowly got attached to this strange little fellow.

Every other night, Thorin pulled Laurelin's necklace out of his pocket, when he was alone and no one could see him. He loved to watch it, and stroke it with the tip of his fingers it always reminded him of all the good times he used to share with Laurelin... when they worked together in the forge... when they spent long evenings playing cards or dice together... the endless dinners around the old table, laughing and chatting like a pair of carefree children... He hoped with all his heart and all his soul that one day, after the quest, he would be able to go back to this life with Laurelin. A dozen of days after they had left the Shire, the idea that maybe they could be more than just friends hit him at last. He tried to imagine living with Laurelin as a couple, and was astonished at how appealing this idea was to him. He wondered why he had never thought about it before, when they had still been together.

 _Why do we always realize things when it is too late ?_ He wondered, sighing bitterly.

Part of him wanted to run back to the Blue Mountains and tell her what he was feeling, but of course he couldn't.

They met their first real danger with the Trolls, and Thorin still wondered how Fili and Kili had been able to not notice the giant creatures when they had come to stole the ponies if his two nephews had spotted the enemy first, they might have been able to avoid putting themselves into danger, but they had acted like a pair of silly children and risked everybody's life with their lack of caution. In truth, if Gandalf had not appeared they would probably all be dead by now Bilbo had played a part in saving them, too, but Thorin was too stubborn to admit that maybe he had been wrong about the Hobbit's uselessness.

Once the Trolls had been petrified, Thorin has walked away while the other Dwaves had freed each other from the ropes and the bags. He had grabbed Laurelin's necklace once more, and tried to find some comfort in its familiar shape. He still remembered how warm it had been when Laurelin had given it to him, and this thought helped him feel better. It had become some sort of talisman, to him. The mere fact of touching was enough to give him back some strength and determination, because it came from Laurelin. It was as if part of her travelled with him through this dark, shiny piece of stone. He had never shown it to anybody, and he didn't mean to. It was something between him and Laurelin. Whenever he was in doubt, he thought about the promise he had made himself on the day of his departure : reclaim Erebor, so he can be with Laurelin again and offer her a better life than what she had so far. The necklace – and the memory of the woman who had given it to him – gave him a sense of purpose. It was as if she had turned into something like a guardian angel. Someone who watched over him and guided each of his steps.

 _I just hope I will be able to tell her all these things one day._ He reflected, with fear in heart. The idea that something might befell him before he could tell her how much he loved her was agony. He had to stay alive, for Laurelin's sake.

Laurelin watched out of the window, and sighed as she realized autumn was about to come to an end. The village was covered in a thin layer of frost, the first sign of winter. Six months, she realized. Thorin had been away for six months already. Sometimes it felt as if he had been gone for years, and sometimes she remembered every details as clearly as if it had happened the day before. Her days and her evenings were lonely without him even when she was busy helping Dwna in her shop, Thorin's absence was like a hole in her life, something that nothing but him would be able to fill. Sometimes she spent a fewhours with Dis, who felt just as lonely as Laurelin without her sons. Grief and worry had marked her beautiful face she had lines on her brown that were not there before, and her lips had forgotten how to smile. Her eyes were like a pair of bottomless pits filled with fear. Whenever they had a chance, they clung to each other and talked about their fears and their hopes, and all the things they missed now that their beloved ones had left them behind.

 **« If only we knew what they were doing. »** Dis complained one evening. **« If only we could have some news from time to time... »**

She shook her head, and Laurelin saw that her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

Several nights later, as she struggled to fal asleep after one more lonely night, Laurelin came up with an idea. Rivendell. Of course – it was obvious. Thorin had said nothing about halting in Rivendell, before his departure, but Laurelin had heard tales about it it was the last civilized place east of the Misty Mountains, and the Dwarves would probably have no other choice but to make a halt there, if only to replenish their provision bags, or to rest for a few nights before crossing the mountains. It was definitely worth a try.

She didn't even wait for the morning : she jumped out of her bed and started preparing the package at once. At first she folded and packed Thorin's dark blue velvet shirt, the only piece of clothing from Erebor that he still had left she knew how attached he was to it. She knew it would give him courage to see it, to feel the fabric between his hands. It had been barely more than rags when Thorin had left for Erebor, torn and worn and patched up, but Laurelin – in a desperate attempts to keep her mind busy on something during a very lonely night – had decided to work on it and to make it as good as new. She had spent the night finisheing it, and the next day she had been exhausted, but whenever she looked at the result she realized it was worth it. She was quite porud of herself. Her first intent had been to keep it in her clothing chest, and to give it to Thorin once she would join him in Erebor ( _if such a day ever happened_ ) but now everything had changed.

Then she also packed the few coins she still had left from the chest Thorin had given her ; the money Dwna gave her every week was enough for her to live her quiet little life, and maybe Thorin had more need of it wherever he was. It was no more than five or six coins, but they were of silver and would probably be of a great help to him. She also sent him a letter, to tell him about everything that happened her in the village and to reassure him about her own life. She didn't want him to worry uselessly. She had ended the letter with a few words that would go straight to his heart : **« No matter how many months will go by, you will always be in my thoughts. »**

When she was done, she wondered how she would get the package to Rivendell. She thought about contacting one of the travellers in the village of Men, down in the valley, but they idea to venture into their town on her own was frightening her. And neither Balin nor Dwalin were here to help here, either – so she turned to the only persone she truly trusted. She turned to Dis. The other woman nodded slowly when Laurelin had told her about her idea.

 **« I will send Urggo and Riesdan with you. »** She said. **« I trust them, and so does Thorin. They will protect you if things go awry down in the valley. But wait – just a minute ! »** She left the living room and came back later, with a package of her own. **« For my sons, »** she said. **« They might be happy to be on their own and away from their old mother, but well... I want to remind them of a promise they made me. »** She shrugged, and pushed the small parcel into Laurelin's hands, as well as a coin to pay the traveller. **« He will ask more money if he had two packages to carry, so here's my part. »**

Laurelin nodded, and smiled.

A few hours later, Laurelin was on her way down to the valley. The weather was fine, with sun and a blue sky, even if the wind was starting to get cold. It took them half a day to reach the valley, and then Urggo suggested a tavern called _The Black Aurochs_. There, they found a few travellers ready to journey to Rivendell some of them asked for exorbitant prices, and Urggo warned Laurelin against another one, but the last man they spoke to seemed to be honest enough. Laurelin paid him and then gave him both packages, then she insisted he had to reach Rivendell as quickly as possible. He just nodded, and left at once.

Laurelin watched him ride away on his big chestnut gelding, her head full of questions. What if Thorin does not stop in Rivendell ? What if he had already left Rivendell and her package comes too late ? What if the man betrayed her ?

So many things could go awry, and the hope that the package would truly reach him was after all very small – yet she didn't regret. She had had to try something, or else she would have gone mad with worry and frustration.

 _Please, Mahal, do not abandon us now._

When Thorin realized Gandalf had led them to Elrond's home, he was furious. Elves. He had seen enough of them. Yet at the same time he knew they had no other choice after this terrible attack, they needed to find a safe place, to rest and to recover. So he just followed the Wizard into Rivendell, and he listened to Lord Elrdond's greetings with a sullen face. Next to him, Dwalin glared at the Elves as if he wanted nothing but to kill them all.

 _One night,_ he decided. _We won't stay here more than one night._

After dinner, once their bellies were comfortably fill – and although the food had not been to everybody's taste – they relaxed and spent a pleasant evening together. Thorin was quite surprised when suddenly an Elf came to talk to him, telling him he had something for him.

 **« F... For me ? »** He stuttered, taken aback. It was so unexpected that for a time he didn't even know what to say.

 **« Yes, Master Dwarf. For Thorin Oakenshiled. »**

He hesitated, then he followed the Elf into a small room. The walls were decorated with paintings representing a sunny forest. The tall Elf picked up a small package on a table, and gave it to Thorin.

 **« Who gave you this ? »**

 **« A traveller.** **»** He said. **« Somebody paid him to bring this package here, and your name is clearly written on it. »** Thorin looked down, and saw the neat, elegant letters in the piece of parchment. He recognized Laurelin's handwriting at once, and his heart started beating faster. How could she know he would spend a night here, when he himself had not known it a few hours ago ? How had she guessed ? He couldn't believe it, but at the same time he felt a wave of relief and impatience wash over him. This package had been made by her own hands. He looked at the worn burlap bag she had used to wrap, and tried to imagine her fingers tying all these knots together. Suddenly his own fingers were trembling as he realized what this meant : Laurelin thought about him as much as he thought about her. The idea that she might be feeling for him the same way he was feeling for her made him slightly giddy, to the point where he had to struggle to open the package. It took him a while, but when everything was unwrapped at last he contemplated Laurelin's treasures with moist eyes.

The first thing he saw was his blue velvet shirt, the only relic from his past life in Erebor. Everytime he looked at it, Thorin remembered the old times, when his life had still been quiet and carefree, but on this day – as he stroked the soft fabric with his fingers – it meant even more to him, because he was close to regaining what they had lost so many years ago. And it had been mended, too. Is was as beautiful as new even the tiniest holes had been mended, and the worn seams had been made anew. Laurelin had even found a way to bring the faded blue back to its original splendor. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was like being back in time, to a time when he was still young and when he had thought life would be easy.

 _Fulfill this quest, and our lives can be easy and carefree again._ He reflected.

Then Thorin saw the silver coins, and bit his lips and sighed. _Laurelin... why did she do this ?_ Thorin was sure she would have needed this money, too. The idea that she had sacrificed her own comfort to help him made him feel uncomfortable, because he had done nothing at all to deserve such a kindness. He couldn't help but worry about Laurelin, who had kept nothing for herself. Did the seamstress pay her well, at least ? Did she have enough money to live comfortably ? These questions refused to leave his mind.

And at last, he saw the letter. His heart melted as he read her words. It brought back so many good memories – all those evenings they had spent together, when he had been teaching her to read and to write... And all the evenings that had followed, when they had read the same book together, or when they had played endless games of cards together... he missed the smiles, the laughter, the chattering and the easy companionship he shared with the woman, but there was also something more, something he hadn't quite realized while he had been with her. Only now, as they were so far away, did he truly understand the strength of his feelings for her. He sighed deeply, and touched the letter with the tip of his fingers, as softly as if he had been touching her.

 **« Laurelin... »** He whispered sadly, hoping he would see her again soon.

When he joined the other Dwarves again, he pulled an old piece of parchment out of his bag, as well as a bottle of ink and a quill everything was a bit battered after such a long journey, but it would do. Thorin wrote a wuick letter to Laurelin, to tell her everything they had been though so far. He talked about the Hobbit and about the Trolls, and thanked her more than once for her gifts, and he ended the message by telling her to take care of herself. He also chose a pretty elvish cloak to send back to Laurelin he was sure she would appreciate it, even if it was much too long for her. Since she worked at the seamstress's shop, it would be easy for her to shorten it. Or maybe she could even sell it, and obtain a nice little handful of gold coins in exchange. Either way, it would serve her.

Half an hour later, Thorin found an Elf who said he would make sure the package would rezch its destination in the Blue Mountains. Thorin hated the fact that he had to entrust something so important do Elves – Elve's, for Mahal's sake ! - yet there was no other option for him.

Next morning, after they had crept out of Elrond's home before the break of dawn, the Misty Mountains stood in front of them, tall and threatening. They had no other choice but to climb across this obstacle, even if none of them truly enjoyed the prospect of clambering on steep, rocky mountainsides. Yet somehow, Thorin felt better than before rzaching Rivendell now that he had the proof Laurelin was all right, now that he had been able to send something back, he was somehow apeased. He could keep his mind concentrated on more important things – like staying alive, which was not exactly an easy task. First they encountered a gang of angry stone giants in the mountains, and they almost lost half of the company Fili had been among them, and for a frightening moment Thorin thought he would never see the young Dwarf again. That thought crushed his heart, but moments later they had found all their companions safe and sound. Thorin felt such a relief when he saw Fili alive that his legs turned to jelly for a few moments. He smiled as he watched both nephews hug each other, but once more they had been close to death – and they hadn 't even face the dragon yet. Would they even reach Erebor, or would they get killed before ?

And then things got even worse, when they fell into the trap set up by the Goblins, in the cave. Thorin had never seen a city as appalling as Goblin-Town stinking and filthy, and all these ugly Goblins warming around them like oversized, disfigured insects. Thorin saw his kin and his friends getting pulled and dragged and beaten by the ugly creatures, and once more it was Gandalf who saved them all by allowing them to grab their weapons again. Once Thorin had his sword in his hands, at least he was able to defend himself again, and they all fought their way out of the caves Mahal must have loved them, because none of the Dwarves got injured during this battle. Just a few scratches here and there, but nothing noteworthy.

Once outside, they realized little Bilbo was not among them anymore. Thorin, always quick to doubt the little Hobbit,was sure he had fled back to Hobbiton – or maybe Rivendell – but Biblo proved him wrong by reappearing out of nowhere a few moments later. Thorin watched him intently, and listened to his words about helping them to get their home back. Somehow, it stroked a sensitive cord to see that tiny, helpless creature so ready to brave all the dangers of an unfriendly world, just to help a band of Dwarves he barely knew. The courage it must take, he reflected, yet he was too proud to admit it openly, and even if he had wanted to say something he would not have had the time to, because the Orcs chose this precise moment to befell them once more.

They ran, as fast as their tired legs allowed it, only to end up cornered on a narrow promontory surrounded by empty space. The all realized, all of a sudden, that they would not escape. Not this time. They tried to climb the trees to avoid the wargs, these hideous creatures that looked lile some oversized cross between a dog and a hyaena, but they all knew it would not save them they were just delaying the inevitable end. Gandalf did his best to help them, using his magic fire to repell the creatures, but even that was just a trick to gain a bit of time.

And then Thorin saw him : Azog, the pale Orc, with his white skin and his scarred face. Thorin couldn't belive his eyes.

It can't be possible. I killed him. All these years ago, in front of the gates of Moria, I killed him. How can he still be here ?

Thorin's eyes searched for the arm he had cut away, so long ago, and saw that the beast had replaced it with a deadly, sharp weapon that made him look even more terrifying.

 **« Mahal protect us. »** He whispered, but his words were swallowed by the roaring of the fire and the screams of his friends.

Thorin looked around him, at Fili and Kili, his beloved nephews... Balin and Dwalin, his long-time friends... and all the others, brave Dwarves who had the courage to follow Thorin on this dangerous quest, even knowing they might find death on the roads... He watched them all as they were trapped in the burning trees, their eyes full of terror and their features twisted by fear.

 _I am their King_. Thorin realized. _It's up to me to protect them._ Besides, he wanted to finish off Azog once and for good. Let's rid the world of this nuisance.

He took a deep breath and stepped forward, his elvish sword in his hand. He looked Azog straight in the eyes as he walked towards him, surrounded by the flames of hell. I am not afraid of you, Azog, and I will not die like a coward.

After a few steps he started running. He was ready to fight. Ready to put his last energu, his last strengths into this battle, if need be.

Then he reached his enemy, and a pair of iron jaws closed around him. He felt giant fangs rip through his clothes, then he he was thrown in the air as of he were nothing more than a wisp of straw. When he fell on the ground, the air was knocked out of his lungs, and a wave of pain engulf him from head to toe. He felt himself starting to slide into darkness he tried to fight and to keep his eyes open, but it was a battle he could not lose. Very dimly, he saw little Bilbo jump down from his tree to run at Azog, his tiny sword in his hands.

 _Does he realize how derisory he looks, in front of a monsters like Azog and his warg ? He has no chance. No chance at all._

Then Thorin's eyes closed, and he tumbled down into the depth of unconsciousness.


	20. ON THE ROAD TO EREBOR - PART 2

Laurelin was here, with him. For a moment, he wondered how this miracle was possible – how did she come here from the Blue Mountains ? How did she find him, lost as he was in the wilderness ? But then she leaned over him, and he forgot all about his silly questions. He was overwhelmed by her presence, her smile, her beauty. He wanted to get lost in her big, brown eyes.

 **« Laurelin... »** He whispered, his voice as hoarse as if there was sand in his throat.

She didn't answer. She just smiled, and then she leaned closer and kissed him on the lips, very softly, very tenderly. To Thorin, it was just as intense as if he had been struck by a lightning bolt every inch of his skin was electrified.

Then Laurelin's voice rose, talking in khuzdhûl.

 **« You promised me you would come back. »** She said. **« Don't break this promise. »**

Then she smiled at him again, and the tip of her fingers brushed Thorin's cheek. Her touch brought him back to consciousness, and suddenly Thorin saw Gandal's wrinkled and bearded face looming over him.

 _No !_ He wanted to scream. _No, I want Laurelin !_

But no word came out of his sore throat, and for a while he could do nothing but stare back at Gandalf in silence, hurt and confused and utterly disappointed. Exhaustion washed over him, as well as pain from all his wounds. Desperate, he clung to his dream and to the marvelous sensations Laurelin had woken in him, even if it had not been real. He didn't want to forget any of it.

When Thorin had recovered a bit, he got up again, but his legs were shaky and his mind still troubled. Laurelin's presence had not been real, yet he could still remember the smell of her hair, or the brightness of her smile, as clearly as if it _had_ been real. Her words rang in his head, making him more determined than ever to fulfill it. And the kiss... that wonderful kiss... it kept haunting him, and he would forever cherish it like one of the best moments of his life. Instincively, he slipped his fingers into his pocket, to touch Laurelin's necklace there.

 **« I will come back to you, Laurelin. »** he whispered solemnly, in such a low voice that no one could hear it.

Then he saw Bilbo, and suddenly he remembered what had happened just before he had passed out. A tiny Hobbit with a tiny swords, against the might and fury of Azog. How come Bilbo was still alive ? He should be dead, by now. Dead from Azog's hands, like so many others before him. Then, slowly, all the rest came back to him. They were all safe, in a place Thorin couldn't remember. What had happened ? Who saved them ?

He closed his eyes for a while, in a desperate attempt to clear his mind. The pain rom his wounds didn't make it any easier ton think and to concentrate.

Then he watched Bilbo again. There was worry in his eyes, and hope – and admiration, too. Somehow it touched Thorin more deeply than he would have expected. He considered the small Hobbit for a long time, scrutinizing him as if he saw him for the first time there was more in him that the awkward, clumsy creature Thorin had thought he was, in the beginning. He could be brave, when he needed to. Brave enough to face a monster.

 _And he didn't even need to._ Thorin remembered. _He could have stayed in his tree, far from Azog. But he didn't. He ran straight into the arms of the enemy – for me. To try and save the life of the old Dwarf King who had given him none but scorn and disdain._

Somehow, it made Thorin feel both grateful and angry. He had never asked such a sacifice from any of his companions, even less from the one who was supposed to be the weakest of them all. He had never asked for anyone to die for him.

 **« You nearly got yourself killed. »** He grumbled, looking Bilbo straight in the eyes. He wanted to thank him, yet he didn't exactly know how. For a hardened man like Thorin, it was not easy to show relief or gratefulness he did his best, yet somehow he was still frustrated because of his dream, and his words came out harsher as expected. They came out all wrong, expressing anger instead of gratitude. He saw the look of confusion – or maybe hurt ? - on the Hobbit's face, and decided to say no more. He took a deep breath. **« I've never been so wrong in my life. »** He said truthfully, hoping it would be eanough to ease the Hobbit's obvious distress.

And then he hugged him – without thinking, without even knowing why. Maybe because his dream of Laurelin had left him a bit giddy, craving for the touch of a friend. He needed the comfort of human warmth to make him feel better.

He didn't even care anymore about all the other Dwarves watching him.

He closed his eyes, and remembered Laurelin's smile.

 _One day, I will hug her like that again, and then she will stay in my arms forever._

Even though the eagles had saved them, the respite didn't last long. This defeat didn't stop Azog and his dreadful Orcs they roamed the wildlands day and night, searching for their prey on their huge, stiniking wargs. More than once, Thorin and his company barely just escaped them. They were exhausted from having to take so many precautions all the time. They knew that if they wanted to reach Erebor before Durin's day they would have to hurry, yet they couldn't walk as fast as they wanted to because of the Orcs. It was terribly frustrating.

A few days later, Gandalf led them all to Beorn's home, where they could eat and rest and recover. Beorn had no love for Dwarves, but he tolerated them and offered them his hospitality nonetheless, and for a few days they knew evil would not be able to reach them. It was during this moment of respite that Thorin remembered Laurelin's birthday it would come soon, in a few weeks. When he had left the Blue Mountains he had hoped his quest would be finished at the time of her birthday, but obviously nothing had gone as planned. He regretted he wouldn't be at her side for this special day, and then he decided to offer her something at least - even if he had no idea what, or how he would send it to her.

After a good night of rest at Beorn's, the skinchanger gave them ponies and they rode till they reached the border of Mirkwood. The forest looked old and threatening, and the idea of entering it sent a chill down Thorin's back – yet there was no choice, as Gandalf told Bilbo. It was either this, or losing weeks (or even months) by walking around the forest. And they could definitely not afford to lose so much time. They had to cross Mirkwood. But the days that followed were amongs the worst Thorin had ever known he had never felt so confused, so dizzy, as if he had drunk too much wine – or as if he was breathing poisoned air. His companion's voices sounded distant and muffled, whereas his own voice echoes loudly in his head. His moves were slow and awkward, and his eyes kept showing him things that did'nt exist, shadows that moved beneath the trees all around him – but whenever he tried to have a closer look, there was nothing. And that's how they lost the road, in spite of Gandalf's repeated warnings. They started wandering aimlessly thought the forest, and soon they were completely lost.

Then came the painful encounter with the Spiders – why did this world have to be populated by so many evil creatures ? - closely followed by their first meeting with the Elves. Thorin knew them. They were Thranduil's Elves. His hands clenched into fists as he remembered the elven King as he had last seen him : turning his back on the dying Dwarves. A selfish, arrogant little princeling of the forest. Thorin glared at them all, those tall slender creatures with such high opinions of themselves. _They think they're better than us, but under the pretty looks they are as foul as a rotten apple._ Thorin relfected as he looked up at the blond Elf who stood in front of him.

The following night was one of the longest of his life they were emprisoned in the deep dungeons where no light from the sun ever shone, in the darkness of damp underground cells. No one had ever escaped from this place before, and Thorin knew it would have been useless to try. Maybe he should have accepted to negociate with Thranduil, as Balin had suggested – but the very idea of talking with the elven king was making Thorin sick with disgust. He would not negociate with Thranduil. Never. And Laurelin's kept hauting him, too, as he sat in a dark corner what would happen to her ? Would she wait for him over there, in the Blue Mountains, while he rotted here in Thranduil's dungeons ? Would she think Thorin is dead ? Would she mourn him ? Would she forget him and turno to another man ? Would one of the warriors he had left in the Blue Mountains try to find them ? Would Dain do something, maybe ? So many questions, and no answers. Thorin had never been so angry, so frustrated. His hate for Thranduil just reached a new peak, putting the elven king at the same level than Azog or Smaug.

And then, as they all started to despair, salvation came from where they least expected it : from Bilbo. He appeared out of nowhere with the keys in his hands. Thorin stared at him for a moment, wondering whether it was real or not – how could this be possible ? Did the Hobbit use some kind of magic ? Or was he simply much leverer than the Elves ?

Anyways, Bilbo did not only open the gates of their cells, but he also found a way out of Thrnaduil's halls. Thorin wondered if this Bilbo was truly the same Hobbit as the one they had met in Hobbiton the soft awkward creature had disappeared, replaced by a brave, audacious and stelthy little burglar. Gandalf had been right about him. The slipped each into a barrel – which was not an easy task for Bombur – and then they floated down the river of course the Elves noticed almost at once that they had escaped, and the Orcs had come as well, and what had been planned as a discreet escape turned into a wild run for their lives. The worst moment, for Thorin, was when he heard Fili scream his brother's name since he could not see anything, he had feared – for a fleeting moment – that his nephew was dead. This thought was terrifying. Kili, little Kili with his cheeky smile and his laughing eyes. He could not be dead. Mahal would not allow it. And then he had understood the young Dwarf had been shot in the leg, and a powerful wave of relief had engulfed him.  
 _He's hurt, but he'll survive. Thank Mahal, he'll survive._

But they had been close, too close to death one more time. And Thorin was not stupid if they kept putting their lives in jeopardy like that, then one day or another one of Dwarves would not make it. They had been lucky so far, but luck was not a reliable ally. It could not be trusted. It could abandon them any moment.

 _And we have not even reached the dragon yet._

A few moments later, they all gathered their coins on the riverbank, to pay the bargeman called Bard. Most of them had not much money left, and Thorin felt guilty for spending the silver Laurelin had sent him. If ever their quest was successful, they would owe it to her as well, for without this money they wouldn't have been able to enter LakeTown at all. _Thank you, Laurelin..._ Thorin reflected. _Thank you so much._ He just hoped she didn't lack anything, at home. The idea of spending money that she could have need of made him very uneasy, but on the other hand they had no choice. It was either this, or being stuck here in their underclothes, with Kili grunting in pain and Orcs on their heels.

Several hours later, they were dry and clean again, and wearing over-sized clothes that made them look a bit ridiculous. But at least they were warm and comfortable. A few hours laters, as they were sitting in Bard's house with his children, waiting for Bard to return with the promised weapons, Remembering Laurelin's birthday, Thorin slipped his hand into his pocket and grabbed the small piece of would he had picked up at Beorn's house. It was nothing remarkable, but Thorin like the dark, warm colour of thz wood, as well as the beautiful lines on it. While Fili was taking care of his wounded remembered brother, Thorin sat into corner and pulled out his small pocket knife for a while, he didn't know what to carve into the wood, and then he remembered Laurelin's love for the edelweiss flowers that grew in the Blue Mountains. Small and resistant flowers, growing on almost bare rocks, yet at the same time so beautiful. He smiled, and put the blade of his knife against the wood, trying to imagine what she would think of it when she would get it. Of course it was a very humble gift, not worthy of her – but at the moment he could afford no more.

 _I'll offer her a more splendid gift once we are in Erebor._ He promised himself.

As he worked on the small piece of wood, he missed Laurelin more than ever, and the idea that he would not be at her side on her birthday made him very sad. The young woman had no family whe would ba all alone, surrounded by the empty walls of the house, instead of laughing and smiling as she deserved.

He was almost finished when suddenly he heard small steps coming closer to him. He looked up, and saw Bilbo. The Hobbit apologized and was about to walk away, when suddenly he spotted the tiny pendant Thorin was carving. A look of surprise reflected on his face obviously, the Hobbit had not expected to see Thorin doing something like that.

 **« I'm... I'm sorry. »** He repeated. **« I didn't mean to intrude, so... »**

Thorin almost let him walk away, then he remembered everything Bilbo had done for him, lately. If not for him, they would all still be Thranduil's captives. Thorin owed him a bit of time, if that's what the Hobbit wanted.

 **« You're not intruding, Master Burglar. »** He said, putting his work aside and looking at the Hobbit. **« You wanted to talk to me ? »**

 **« Oh no no, I just... well... »** Bilbo stuttered. **« I wasn't looking for you specifically, but the house isn't that big and... »** He cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. **« I don't want to keep you from... your work. »** He added, pointing at the unfinished necklace with his chin.

 **« You've shown great courage, of late. »** Thorin told him unexpectedly. He had spent years in Laurelin's company without telling her how he truly felt – or maybe it was because he himself had not been conscious of his feelings ? - but anyways he would not make that mistake twice. He would not let Bilbo walk away from him without telling him the truth. **« You surprised me, Master Burglar. The first time I saw you, I was sure you would not last more than a few days in the wilds. And now... »** He smiled. **« We're all alive thanks to you. »**

 _We're Dwarves and we're hardened warrior and we've been through so much hardship, yet it's thanks to a tiny, shy Hobbit that we are still alive._ It hurt his pride to admit, and he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud.

Bilbo made a strange noise, something between a nervous giggle and a grumbling.

 **« It's nothing. »** hH mumbled, his cheeks turning a violent shade of red. **« It's normal. I... We... »** He didn't know how to continue, so he just fidgeted the hem of his oversized shirt. Men-sized clothes were too large even for the Dwarves, but one could have fit two or three Hobbits like Bilbo into one of Bard's shirts.

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin said, very honestly. **« Thank you for everything. »**

Bilbo nodded uncomfortably. Then his eyes went on the necklace again.

 **« It is pretty. »** he said nervously, eager to change subject. **« I didn't know you had telent in wood-carving. »**

 **« I'm not very talented. »** Thorin admitted. The flower had not turned out as beautiful ad he had hoped it would.

 **« Is... is this a flower growing in Erebor ? »** He asked, and his curiosity seemed to be genuine. Thorin remembered that Hobbits loved farming and growing things flowers were obviously a subject that Bilbo was more comfortble discussing.

 **« No, not Erebor. »** Thorin said sadly. **« It grows in the Blue Mountains, where we have settled after our homeland fell into Smaug's claws. It's a very rare flower. It grows high in the mountains, and rumour says it brings luck to see them. »**

Bilbo had noticed the sadness that filled Thorin's eyes as he had said the word Erebor.

 **« Soon you will be home again. »** He said. **« The Mountain is not far, now. We can see almost see it from this window. »**

 **« Not far, no, but still guarded by a dragon. »**

Thorin sighed loudly. Bilbo went to sit next to him. He touched the necklace with the tip of his fingers, very lightly.

 **« Is it... Is it for somebody special ? »** He asked.

Thorin didn't know where the Hobbit had found the courage to ask him such a personal question – when not even friends like Balin or Dwalin came to talk to him about it – yet somehow it didn't bother Thorin. The prospect of talking about Laurelin even lifted his spirits a bit.

 **« Somebody very special. »** He said with a warm smile, as the young woman's picture bubbled up in his mind. He wondered what she was doing at the moment, then his attention came back on Bilbo. « **Somebody who is very dear to me. She has done so much for me over the course of the years. She made my life so much better. And soon it will be her birthday. I can't be there for her, this year, and I can't even buy her a present worthy of her, but I want her to know that she's in my thoughts all the time. »**

Bilbo had never seen this she-dwarf – yet he only had to look at Thorin, and at the sadness in his eyes, to realize how much the woman counted for him, and how much he missed her.

 **« Is she... Is she waiting for you, then ? »** Bilbo asked.

 **« Yes. »** Thorin said, but suddenly doubt filled his mind. He had been gone for more than eight months now, and Laurelin was alone at home, with no one to keep her company. What if she had decided to look for a companion, during Thorin's absence ? Somebody who would not abandon her every now and then, as Thorin had done lately ? The thought was frightening. The thought was unbearable. **« Yes, she's waiting at home. »** He added, almost angrily, more to convince himself than to convince Bilbo.

Deep down, Thorin knew that Laurelin might not share the feelings he was having for her, but he didn't want to dwell on this possibility right now. It was so much easier – and more pleasant – to cling to distant hopes and to imagine tender moments alone together, once Erebor would be in their hands again.

Bilbo nodded, and a strange smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

 **« You are lucky, then, if there is somebody of... of such** ** _importance_** **waiting for you. »** He said, grabbing the necklace and holding it up at eye level to have a closer look. **« It is very beautiful. »** He said, as the light fell on the tiny wooden edelweiss. **« Is she... The woman who will wear this, I mean – is she a beautiful Dwarven princess ? »** he asked a bit awkwardly.

Thorin being such a handsome, majestic prince... Bilbo couldn't imagine him being with any other woman than a princess covered in jewels.

Thorin chuckled softly.

 **« A princess ? »** He mused. **« No, she's not. »** He hesitated for a few moments, then he decided to be honest with Biblo. **« When I first saw her, she was no more than a dishevelled, bedraggled survivor, her face still covered in soot. She was one of the servants of Erebor. She became my maid. »** Thorin felt a wave of shame and guilt as he remembered their first meeting, and how he had reacted to Laurelin's plea for work. If not for Dis, he would have shoved her away like an annoying gnat. **« She worked for me – cooking, and cleaning my house, and washing my clothes. But soon she became much more than that. She... »** He sighed, feeling suddenly very nostalgic. He wanted her to be at his side so badly. **« Her kindness, her devotion, her smile... She was always there for me – always. Even when I didn't deserve to be taken care of like that. There were days it must have been hard for her to put up with my stubborness, but she stayed at my side no matter what... And soon I came to realize that my whole life would have been empty and sad, without her. With every passing day, our bond grew stronger and stronger, till our lives became so intertwined that one could not live without the other anymore. »** Talking about Laurelin had helped him drop his walls, and Thorin was surpised to see how easy it was to talk with Bilbo. Maybe the fact that he didn't know Laurelin had helped, too.

 **« I... I am happy for you. »** Bilbo said with a sincere smile. **« You must be impatient to see her again. »**

 **« Yes, I am. »** Thorin admitted. **« Yet at the same time I am afraid. When I left the Blue Mountains, we were friends. Just friends. She shared my daily life for so many years, yet I never recognized my true feelings for her. I never... I never realized I loved her, until she was far away and out of reach. »**

It was the first time Thorin had litterally used the word 'love' to describe his feelings towards Laurelin, and it made him feel alated, as if sombody had taken a great weight off his chest.

 **« And now you don't know is she shares this love ? »** Bilbo guessed in a very soft voice, putting the necklace into Thorin's hand.

Thorin nodded as he closed his fingers around the wooden jewel.

 **« If she doesn't, it will break me. »** He admitted.

 **« I am sure she does. »** Bilbo said with conviction.

 **« How could you know ? You have never even seen her. »**

 _Because it's impossible to not love you,_ he wanted to say, but of course he kept the words to himself. Instead, he just chuckled a bit uncomfortably.

 **« So let's kill this dragon as soon as possible, for I am very eager now to meet this lady you talk so highly about. »** He joked, to lighten the mood.

He jumped on his feet and walked away, and Thorin forgot about Laurelin for a while as he helped Fili to take care of Kili's injury. It was an ugly wound, that would take time to heal. It broke Thorin's heart to see Kili in such pain.

 _He shouldn't be here._ Thorin realized. _Who am I to lead my own kin into such danger ? I should have refused him when he asked to come with us !_

Yet when evening came and darkness fell on LakeTown, Laurelin was on his mind again. Talking about her with Bilbo had stirred a lot of hopes and memories in his head he was craving for her touch, her presence, like never before. He wanted her at her side so badly. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine her lying here at side – sometimes this trick was enough to soothe him – yet tonight it was not enough. He needed something real, and couldn't have it. And the frustration of being denied the only thing he truly wanted led him to more bitter thoughts : What if Laurelin was married with another man ? What if she had been tired of waiting for Thorin ? What if she had never felt anything for Thorin, except friendship ? These thoughts were unbearable. If Laurelin were married to another man, Thorin would ne eve be able to consider it like a real marriage – because in his heart, Laurelin belonged to him and no one else. Of course he was not yet sure the young woman shared his feelings, but he couldn't even bring himself to think about the possibility that Laurelin may choose another one.

Later that night they escaped Bard's house, just to be caught by the city guards as they had tried to steal some weapons from the armoury. Luckily, Thorin's wordes were enough to sway the Master of LakeTown to their cause they were given weapons and ridiculous clothes, but thr Men cheered and applauded them. Thorin wrote a quick letter, in which he talked to Laurelin about everything they've been through lately, before wishing her a happy birthday. He also mentioned some some happy memories of the past, like the evenings when he had taught her to read, or the moments they used to spend together in the forge, or the games they used to play together at night, when all the work was finished. Then he sealed the letter and gave it to an elderly man with no family, who said he would be more than glad to bring it the the Blue Mountains in exchange of a coin or two. Thorin hoped the man would make it he seemed to be fit enough still, but the Blue Mountains were far away And he also hoped it would reach Laurelin before her birthday. It was very important to him that she gets her present on ber birthday.

He watched the old man enter into his house to prepare his journey, then the door closed behind him. Thorin sighed, and joined his companions to prepare for his own journey. Bofur was still missing, and Thorin was still struggling to finf the best way to tell Kili he would have to stay here. He didn't like the prospect of disappointing his younger nephew, but neither did he like the idea of Kili bleeding to death on the dorrstep of Erebor.

Then he looked at the Mountain, in the distance. The dragon's mountain, for now.

 _But we are coming, now, Smaug. We are coming, and everything will be ours once more, like it used to be in the past._


	21. BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

**« Gold... Gold beyond measure... Beyond sorrow and grief... »**

Thorin was standing in the great halls of Erebor, surrounded by his ancestor's treasures. Mountains of gold and jewels, and no more dragon. Smaug was dead, forever dead. Nothing stood between the Dwarves and their treasure anymore. Thorin sighed contentedly, and smiled as he watched Thrain's gold at his feet.

 _This is all ours again, at last !_

After a while, he saw from the corner of his eyes that something was moving on the upper levels. He looked up and saw several silhouettes standing above him. Dimly, he recognized Fili and Kili. He looked up at them. It stirred something in him. They're alive. We all thought they had burned alongside with all the other inhabitants of LakeTown, but they are alive, and here they are standing. He should have rejoiced, but then his eyes saw the gold again and suddenly it was all he could  
think about.

 **« Behold, the mighty treasure hoard of Thror »** He said, opening his arms to invite them to contemplate what was surrounding them. **« Welcome, my sister-sons... to the kingdom of Erebor ! »**

He saw them move. He heard voices. He picked up one of the gems at his feet – a big, red ruby – and threw it at Fili His eldest nephew deftly caught it, but he said no word. Thorin had expected to see some enthusiasm coming from them, but they just climbed down a few stairs, with serious faces. Why so grave, young nephews ? Thorin wnated to ask them. Did they not see all the gold ? Dis they not understand that Erebor had been reclaimed ? What had happened to them ?

He saw Fili and Kili exchange worried looks, then Bilbo said something to them. Their mutters echoed between the high walls of stone.

 **« Come down. »** He said in an urgent voice. He wanted them to discover the treasure their ancestors had gathered over centuries.

Yet both young Dwarves and Bilbo just stood there and watcheed him, their faces disapproving. It made Thorin angry. He turned his back on them and walked away, to another room filled with gold and jewels. Let them brood and waste their days with useless worries, while Thorin enjoyed their new wealth and glory. He knelt and plunged his hand into a sea of golden coins they were cold against his skin, but it was a pleasant sensation. Then he closed his eyes and sighed in relief. After so many years craving to be back home, here he was a last.

The wealth of Erebor was his again, and would be his for the rest of his life.

And nothing else mattered.

 **« You were always my king... »** Dwalin said, his eyes glistening with contained emotion. Seeing his friend and king like that was a suffering beyond anything he had endured so far. **« You used to know that once. »** He paused. Thorin looked down, but there was greed in his eyes as they fall on the heaps of gold all around them. **« You cannot see what you have become. »** Dwalin added, in a last desperate attempte to reach the Thorin ha had known and loved as a brother all his life. Was he truly dead and lost forever, or was there still a spark of him, lost somewhere in the abyss of the gold sickness ? Could the old Thorin still hear, and see ? Would he ever be able to come back ?

Contradicting emotions fglickered over Thorin's face, and for a while Dwalin thought it was his friend who would answer.

Yet Thorin's words broke his heart instead.

 **« Go, now. »** He said, his voice hoarse with resentment. **« Go... Before I kill you. »**

Dwalin's hands clenched into fists as anger and despair and frustration washed over him, but he said nothing. He had understood it was useless. He turned around and walked away, his broad shoulders hunched by the weight of his best friend's madness.

Once he was gone, Thorin took a deep breath.

 _Who does he think he is, to tell me what I can and can't do ? I am his king ! He shouldn't be allowed to talk to me like that !_

Thorin closed his eyes, then he opened them and saw the gold. It soothed his troubled mind, and put his worried at ease. No matter how wrong everything will be going, my gold's here. No one will ever take it from me. No one.

He picked up a coin, and pressed it against his heart.

Yet somehow, he couldn't forget about Dwalin's words. They echoed painfully in his head, refusing to let him enjoy his treasures as he wanted to. They triggered something in him – old feelings – and for a fleeting moment The King of Durin's folk was teetering at the verge of utter madness : either he would sink completely, or he would find the strength to extricate himelf of it. Suddenly he saw what Dwalin had seen in him, he saw what he had become, and he was aware of that choice he had to make. Drowning would be easy. Fighting would be harder – and was it truly worth it ? What if he decided to fight ? What good would come out of it ? Grief and pain and blood ? War ? Hordes of Orc outside of his gates, ready to kill him ? He closed his eyes, troubled as he had never been before. Let's forget about everything, a voice in his head suggested. Forget about the world. Forget about grief and sorrow. Forget about everything.

Look at the gold, and rejoice.

He was about to break all ties with the last remnants of his sanity, when suddenly his hand reached for the tiny pendant in his pocket. It was cold and smooth, and as dark as a crown's wings. Polished onyx.

 **« Laurelin... »** He breathed, and suddenly the woman's picture appeared in his head. Her pretty freckled face, and her long brown hair, and her big doe eyes that shone with mirth everytime she laughed. Something Thorin hadn't felt in a very long time came back to life. Something that made him feel warm from the inside. Suddenly the gold arounf him wasn't as shiny and alluring anymore. It was just metal, after all. Cold and lifeless metal. There were other things. Friendship. Kindenss. Human contact. Love.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, and suddenly he felt he could not endure any of this one more second.

He ran, as if his life depended on it – and maybe it did.

He ran till he reached the hall, and saw his own reflection in the gold-covered floor. He remembered Msaug, and how thay had meant to kill him with gold. They had failed, of course, but it didn't matter since the dragon was dead anyways.

He dead, just as dead as you will be if you decide to shut yourself down in these dark halls with your gold.

And he didn't want to die.

And _couldn't_ die.

He had made a promise to the woman he loved. He had promised her to return to her. He couldn't fail her. Not now, not ever.

He had to stay alive to see her again, and to know if she loved him too.

He closed his eyes again and breathed in a long gulp of air.

Suddenly, his thoughts and his mind were clearer as htey had been in a verylong time.

 _I can't die. I can't drown in gold sickness.I have no other choice but to struggle out of this. It will be hard – but I am Durin's heir and I am afraid of nothing._

A roar struggled to come out of his throat as he stood up straight again.

 **« I'm not my grand-father... »** he said out loud, and suddenly he felt as is he could breathe freely again. He closed his fingers around the small pendant, thinking about Laurelin, longing to see and touch her again.

I am not going to drown.

I am going to win, and to live.

He walked out of the hall, to find his companions. He found them all huddled together among the ruin and wreckage left by the dragon. For the first time, he saw them clearly again. He saw how worried they were. He saw the lines on their faces, the grief and sadness in their eyes. He knew he had caused all this grief and sadness. He knew he had made them all suffer.

But he wouldn't apologize, he decided. His pride wouldn't let him. He would do better than that. He would be a king for them – a king they could be proud of. A king they could love. A king that would make them enter into legend.

Kili was the first to break the ranks. He stood up to Thorin. He had always been a bit reckless, but he had never spoken to Thorin with such anger. But the King couldn't blame him, because of course the lad was right. Thorin smiled at him, overcome by a sudden wave of tenderness and affection for this young Dwarf he had helped to raise. He took his face into his hands, and their foreheads touched for a few moments.

Then he turned to the others. He spotted Fili, standing so tall and proud. A true prince of Erebor. Thorin had never been so proud of him.

 **« I have no right to ask this of any of you, but... Will you follow me, one last time ? »** He watched them all, one after the other, trying to decipher their thoughts and feelings. Slowly, he saw doubt and wariness being replaced by determination and fierceness. Hope shone in their eyes aga in as they grabbed their weapons and donned their armours. Thorin felt a shiver of excitement run back his spine. Durin's folk was back in the game, now.

A few moments later, as they were about to run into battle, Thorin stopped for a few seconds and tried to image what awaited them out there : Orcs and Wargs, Elves and Men, and Mahal knows what other foul creatures brought by Azog. He shivered again, and – for the first time since he was clear-headed again – the idea that he might die very soon hit him like an arrow straight in the heart. Death could be so quick. One moment you breathe, the next you're no more than a corpse on the ground. He felt his blood turn to ice. He could not die, not now, not before seeing Laurelin again. Yet he was not an idiot, either, and he knew it could happen no matter how determined he was to stay alive. He searched his company for Dwalin, and found his old friend standing at the bottom of the wall, on his left.

Thorin took a deep breath to give himself courage, then he walked over to the other Dwarf.

 **« Dwalin ? »** He said, a bit uncertainly. He was not sure how to act around his friend, after what they had said to each other last time they had been in the same room. **« We need to talk... if you don't mind ? »**

Dwalin watched him intently for a few moments, then a smile broke on his rugged face.

 **« I will always be there for you... my King. »** he said.

 **« Right now I'm not talking to you as a King, but as a friend. I... »** He paused, listening to the screeches and screams of the Orcs outside, in the distance. **« Dwalin, we don't know what will happen to us after we've broken out of these walls. We may... »**

 **« I would die rather than letting anybody kill you. »** Dwalin replied fiercely loyalty, looking his friend straight into the eyes. Dwalin's battle ax was huge, and the blade was as sharp as the claws od Death itself. It shone in the dim light.

 **« I do not doubt your loyalty, nor your courage. »** Thorin said, looking back at his friend and wondering if they would see each other after the battle. They had shared so many hardships, but also so many good moments. Suddenly Thorin felt his throat tighten. **« But you may not be able to stay at my side during the battle. And if... if I don't survive, Dwalin, I want you to do something for me. »** Dwalin nodded, and listened raptly. **« If I die during this battle, I want you to find Laurelin and tell her how much I... »** He hesitated, because he had never said those words aloud. **« Tell her how much I loved her. »** He said at last, and he realized how easy it was to say this. He smiled, in spite of the dramatic situation. **« If I die during the battle, please keep an eye on her. Help her if need be. Don't let her alone, and make sure she had a good life. »**

Dwalin nodded slowly, very solemnly.

 **« I will do whatever I can for her, and so will Balin. He's had a soft spot for her ever since she worked for him. »**

 **« Make sure, also, that no other man ever shares her life, please. »** He added in a tormented voice **« Make sure she will never belong to anybody else but me. »** The mere idea of seeing Laurelin in another man's arms was making him mad with grief and anger. She had to be Thorin's, and only Thorin's – now and forever. Something else was not conceivable. **« I... The idea of dying here, so far from her, without ever seeing again... Without her knowing what I truly feel for her... It's unbearable, Dwalin. But if Mahal decides it's time for me to join his halls then I will have no other choice but to answer to his call. »**

 **« If I survive and you don't – and I pray Mahal this won't happen - will see that Laurelin has everything she needs. »** Dwalin said, nodding again. Then a fierce smile stretched his lips. **« But let's stop talking about death, now. There's a horde of Orcs out there waiting for us to chop off their heads, so let's give them what they deserve ! »**

He swung his ax and roared with a fierce laughter. Dwalin the warrior was eager and impatient to spill Orc-blood.

At some time, Thorin would have been just as impatient as his friend. He would have rushed into battle without thinking about anything else – without caring for his own life. But now everything was different. Now there was Laurelin, and suddenly he saw everything in a very different way. He started wondering if it had not been better to saty at her side, in the Blue Mountains, were they could have been safe together. What foolishness had taken him, to go on this quest ? What this gold really worth risking all his dreams, all his hopes ?

 _No, it isn't._ A small voice replied. _But it's too late now to change anything, and you have no other choice now but to fight._

 **« Sorry, Laurelin. »** he muttered, before calling his fellow Dwarves at his side for the final attack that would change the fate of their people.

When Bombur blew the horn, Thorin shivered from head to toe – but not out of fear, no. It was eagerness. Now the time had come to met his fate at last. He let the sound fill his ears, fill his head, fill his thoughts till his blood was boiling with adrenaline. Then the huge golden bell swung forwards, and crashed into the high wall they had built several days earlier it exploded into thousands of shards of stone that flew in the air before falling on the ground, making the earth tremble.

And then they ran.

A long roar came out of Thorin's throat as he felt the fresh air on his face and saw the light of the sun for the first time in several days. He felt alive, truly alive, and as fierce as a bear. He would kill them, kill them all – those nasty Orcs who stood between him and the life with Laurelin he desired so badly. His hand would not hesitate. It would cut and slash and kill.

Thorin met Dain with a roar of fierce laughter he had never been so glad to see his cousin, proud and fierce and covered in Orc-blood. His boar had been killed during the battle, but Dain himself was still unhurt, and ready to keep fighting.

 **« There's too many of them. »** Daïn said, looking around at the hundreds of ennemies swarming all around them. **« I hope you've got a plan ? »**

Thorin looked up at Ravenhil, where Azog was standing tall and fierce against the grey sky.

 **« I'm going to take off their leader. »** He said, more determined than ever.

 **« Azog. »** Daïn saif approvingly.

Thorin grabbed the reins of the closest battle goat, and climbed on its back.

 **« I'm going to kill that pice of filth. »** He spat, and he kicked the goat in the ribs. Behind him, Dwalin was following on a goat of his own, and very soon Fili and Kili joined him as well. Thorin smiled. His most loyal and most trusted warriors. Fighting alongside with them would give him even more strength, even more courage.

They swiflty climbed the steep slope of Ravenhill the goats were agile and sure-footed, and not once did they hooves slip on the sharp-edged rocks. Soon they reached the top of the hill, and found it empty. No sign of Azog or his Orcs. They unsheathed their swords and stared at the bare rocks, at the veil of cold mist that chilled them to their bones. Everything was absolutely silent around them.

 **« He fled ! »** Dwaling grumbled angrily. **« Thorin, that filth of Azog fled ! »**

 **« Or maybe he's just biding his time. »** Thorin whispered, searching the veil of white fog for something that could betray the presence of enemies.

They all exchanged nervous looks.

When htey heard fottsteps coming from behind them, they all turned around swiftly, just to be faced with... the Hobbit !

 **« B... Bilbo ? »** Thorin muttered, unable to believe what he was seeing. The last time he had faced Bilbo, he had been wallowing deep in his gold sickness he had almost thrown the Hobbit over the walls of Erebor, and he had seen him fell with Bard and Thranduil. A wave of guilt washed over Thorin, but he refused to give in to these negative feelings. There would be plenty of time to apologize or to make amends later, once all this was finished.

 **« Thorin ! »** Bilbo said as reached the King of the Dwarves. He was red and breathless. Obviously, he had been running. **« Thorin, there's another army coming from Gundabad. Orcs, and other creatures. They will be here any moment. »**

Dwalin cursed somewhere on Thorin's left.

 _Azog, you cowardly filth – so you want to win this battle by using treachery and foul tricks, now ? Do you think this will be enough to keep you from my wrath ?_

Part of Thorin wanted to give in to his deep desire to search for Azog in spite of everything, and to be done with it once and for good – but then he looked at the others. Fili and Kili, standing side by side. Dwalin, still clutching his battle ax. Bilbo, who used to be a shy and awkward creature, but who had been brave as a lion today, when he had faced Azog's armies to come here and warn them about this new danger. They were all looking up at Thorin, iating for him to take the right decision.

I have disappointed them once, when I had allowed the gold sickness to engulf my mind. I can't disappoint them one more time.

 **« Let's get down to help Daïn and the other Dwarves. »** He decided finally. **« They must be warned, and they will need every one of us. »**

They caught their goats once more, but before they could even jump on their backs they suddenly heard screams coming from downhill they could see nothing because of the fog, but no mistake was possible.

 **« Orcs ! »** Dwalin bellowed. **« Orcs are coming ! »**

Next moment, the Orcs unleashed their fury upon them. Thorin didn't even have time to count them, all he saw was that there were many of them. They wore armours and barbaric weapons, and they were screaming like a horde of demons from hell.

Thorin swung his sword and hit the first beast he could reach. They were strong and powerful, and each of their blows could have cut a man in two Thorin knew that any mistake, even the smallest, could mean the end of his life. He managed to kill one Orc, but two others replaced him at once. They were like an endless stream of enemies. From the corner of his eyes, he saw his friends nearby : Fili and Kili were fighting side by side, young and relentless and fierce Dwalin was killing one Orc after the other with his blood-stained ax even Bilbo, tiny Bilbo, was doing his best to fight the Orcs. He was no warrior – he had neither the physical built nor the necessary training – yet he didn't hide, and he didn't run. Thorin couldn't have dreamt of better companions.

More Orcs kept coming. Slowly, Thorin and their friends got separated as they fought, each moving into another direction. Thorin didn't like it. He couldn't help worrying for Fili and Kili – his beloved nephews, the little boys had had helped to raise, the young heirs of Durin – what if they were dead alreay ? What if their broken bodies were laying on the hard ground, getting colder with every passing minute ? What if they were all doomed ?

Then he saw Laurelin in his head, once more, and he realized he couldn't die. It was impossible. He had to go back to her.

This thought gave him a surge of energy, and he lunged forwards. He shoved his blade into the small opening between the Orcs breastplate and his backplate, and when he pulled it out again it was dripping with thick, black blood.

After a while, Thorin ended up on a wide, frozen lake that stretched to the horizon in front of him. The ice was thick enough to support their weight, even as they fought so violently, yet it was slippery and treacherous. Even the familiar movements were a challenge, but the good point was that it bothered the Orcs just as much as it bothered Thorin.

When all the Orcs were dead, Thorin heaved a deep sigh. He was exhausted and wounded – a deep gash across his brow was bleeding abundantly. His hands were trembling, and he wasn't even sure he had enough strengths to walk back to the others – but he knew he had to. Fili and Kili. He had to see if his nephews were still alive. He prayed Mahal as he walked, one heavy step after the other. Even lifting his feet was an effort for him.

He had almost reached the shores of the lake – and he was eager to have his feet on solid ground again – when suddenly a gigantic pale silhouette stood in front of him.

Azog.

Oh no, not now, please Mahal not now...

The filth had waited in the shadows on purpose, waited till Thorin was too exhausted and breathless to offer a proper fight.

A curse escaped Thorin's lips, but he would not give up without fighting tooth and nail for his life. He lifted his sword.

 **« Come here. »** He muttered. **« Let's do this once and for good. »**

And then they fought.

It was a fight like Middle-Earth had not seen in a long time the beast and the King facing each other on the ice, Thorin looking small an d derisory in comparison to the monster standing in front of him. Azog was a mountain of muscle and cruelty, a dark sould who knew neither pity, nor compassion. He fought with utter brutality, and Thorin – tired and hurt as he already was – could do nothing but ward off his powerful blows. He knew he wouldn't be able to continue like that forever. He felt his own strengths declining at an alarming rate. He knew the moment he wouldn't have any strengths left in him, he would be dead – yet there was nothing he could do about,it. His body was spent, almost broken.

And the others – what about the others ? he wondered as he blocked another one of Azog's blows. Fili and Kili and Dwalin... and all the others who were still fighting down there... all these proud Dwarves... all these loyal companions...

All dead ?

 _And Laurelin ?_ He suddenly wondered. _Will she cry for me when they will tell her my fate ? Will she mourn me ? How many years will she remember me before I will be forgotten ? And what will be left of me, then ? Dust and ashes ? Old faded memories ? Will she still remember what my face looked like, the day she will join Mahal, or will I be no more than a distant, blurry shade in a remote corner of  
her memory ?_

The idea that he would die before even telling her about his feelings was terrifying.

He saw her in his head, as clearl as if she had been standing in front of him. She smiled at him. Her hair was unbound, and it hung down her back to her hips, as soft as silk. Thorin yearned to touch it, but next moment Azog landed a powerful blow on his back, that sent him sprawling on the icy cold suface of the lake. He heard an audible crack coming from the ice, and he knew it might break soon.

 **« You promised you would come back to me. »** Laurelin's voice whispered into his ears. Thorin didn't know if it was his imagination – maybe he wanted to see her so badly that he started seeing things that weren't real – or if she was truly watching over him like a guardian angel, but her voice galvanised him as if he had been struck by a lightning bolt. Gathering his last strengths, he lifted his sword and hit he knew he would not get a second chance – he is exhausted body would not allow it – so he put all his might, all his determination into this blow. He hit Azog in the legs. The blade cut into the pale flesh, not deeply enough to inflict a severe wound, but the white Orc lost his balance and fell on the ground, so hard the ice cracked under his weight.

It's now or never, now, Thorin realized. He hit the ice with the hilt of his sword, and was rewarded by more threatening cracks – and then he ran away before he would get caught into his own trap. When he was at a safe distance, he turned around to watch his enemy struggle with the ice, but Azog just got up as if nothing had happened.

 _I didn't hit the ice hard enough._ Thorin thoufht frantically. _I had once chance, and I missed it. By Mahal's beard, I missed it._

Azog's ugly laughter echoed in the cold air. Thorin shivered.

And then the ice broke at last. It happened so quickly Azog didn't even have time to struggle. One moment he had been standing there, and next moment he was gone, engulfed by the cold water. For a long moment, Thorin expected him to jump out of the water again – it was almost too good to be true – but after several minutes he realized Azog was probably dead for good. He took a few careful steps that brought him closer to the place where the beast had drowned. Chunks of ice were floating on the water, but otherwise everything was silent and motionless.

A feeling of joy rose in Thorin, so powerful it made his already week legs tremble even more.

Azog is dead.

 _I won._

Several hours later, when they had all regained some strenghts, they clambered down the steep slopes of Ravenhill again. Thorin, Bilbo, Dwalin, Fili and Kili were greeted by the rest of the company Nori had a cut in his left arm, and Bombur was bruised all over the left half of his face, but all of them were alive. Thorin felt tears prickle his eyes. This was too good to be true.

 _Mahal, I will forever be grateful for your kindness._ He prayed silently.

They ended this quest as they had started it : together. The healthy ones were supporting the wounded, and when they entered the high halls of Erebor they were all overcome by a strong flow of emotions. Each of them expressed it in a different way, of course, and even Bilbo – to whom Erebor meant nothing – couldn't help but feel his heart twinge with happiness. He looked at Thorin, and they shared a long look.

 _Aye, we made it._

They had won, and a new life awaited them now.

A better life.

He couldn't wait till Laurelin would join him here. Then everything would be truly  
perfect at last.


	22. EREBOR

**« Tell them Erebor is ours again. »** Thorin said with a beaming smile. These words were so sweet. Even now, several days after their victory, it was still hard to believe. **« Tell them to pack their things and to come back home. Tell them we are waiting for them here, in the glorious halls of our ancestors. »**

Dwalin, who was standing in front of him, nodded slowly, but there was a smile on his lips too.

 **« I will, Thorin. »** He said pleasantly. **« Don't worry. They will all know the dragon is dead, and they will know how you killed Azog. They will know how bravely their king fought for the survival of us all. »**

Thorin felt slightly ill at ease, to hear Dwalin talk about him with such fervour. He didn't see himself as a hero, not even after his epic fight against Azog. He was just a man who had managed to stay alive, and he didn't think he deserved more praise than Balin, Nori or Bombur, or any other Dwarf that had survived the Battle of Five Armies.

 **« And there is something else, too. »** Thorin added, lowering his voice. **« It's about Lau... »**

But suddenly he was interrupted by loud footsteps coming closer. He turned around, and spotted his nephews. One of Fili's arms was wrapped in a thick bandage, and Kili had a deep cut in the small of his back. Standing was still painful for him, but he was smiling all the same. Thorin considered them for a while, and thanked Mahal once more. If he had lost any of them, the grief would have been unbearable.

Both young Dwarves looked up at Dwalin.

 **« Balin told us you volunteered to go to the Blue Mountains to bring them the  
good news ? »** Kili started enthusiastically.

 **« Aye, I did. »** Dwalin agreed amiably.

 **« Wonderful ! »** Kili exclaimed, as his smile widened. **« Here. Can you give this to Mother ? »** he said, pulling the rune stone out of his pocket. **« She gave me this before I left, and now I'd like to give it back to her. And tell her I kept my promise. »**

Dwalin cautiously took the stone in one of his hand, and patted the young Dwarf on the shoulder with his other hand.

 **« She will be happy to hear it. »** Dwalin said.

Then Fili stepped forward, his long blond hair shining in the sun. He had braided it neatly, and he truly looked like a prince of Durn's line. Thorin was proud of him, proud of the man he had become. His only regret was that Dis' husband was not here to see him.

 **« She's never been interested in gold or jewels. »** Fili said, looking at the heaps of gold surrounding them. **« But she loves playing chess. We used to play together for hours. So here I found this for her. »** he said, handing Dwalin a small chest. The warrior opened it, revealing the most beautiful chess set Thorin had ever seen. The small checkers were made mother-of-pearl and onyx, and they had been carved with exquisite details. **« Shell like that one. »**

 **« Yes she will. »** Thorin said, smiling. **« We used to play together, too, before the fall of Erebor. She always won, but Frerin was even better than her. »**

Thorin refused to let sad feelings about his younger bother invade his thoughts.

 **« Don't worry, lads, your mother will get your gifts. »** Dwalin said. **« I'll be more than happy to tell her how bravely you both fought. »**

Fili and Kili looked at each other, and then they smiled.

 _They deserve to be happy, now,_ Thorin reflected fondly. _Their whole lives were shaped by the hardship our people went thought, but not anymore._

They both hugged Dwalin and wished him good-luck for his journey, then they walked away again, leaving Thorin alone with his old friend.

 **« So what were you saying, before they interrupted us ? »** Dwalin asked when bith lads were gone.

 **« Laurelin... »** Thorin said. **« I've got a special message for her. »**

Dwalin nodded. They had nevert talked openly about it, but Thorin knew that his friend had guessed the truth. Dwalin may be a warrior and a brute, but he was also clever and shrewd – and he knew Thorin well.

 **« What do you want me to tell her ? »** He asked, very seriously.

 **« Tell her... »** Thorin sighed, trying to find the words that would convey hope and confidence to Laurelin, without betraying any of the feelins he was having for her – because he didn't want her to find out though Dwalin. He wanted to tell her when she would be standing in front of him. **« Tell her that I didn't forget anything. »**

Dwalin lifted one eyebrow.

 **« Just these words ? Nothing more ? »**

 **« She will understand. The rest... well, I'll tell her more once she'll be here, but for now it will be enough. »**

 **« As you wish. »** Dwalin agreed.

 **« Make sure, also, that Laurelin will be safe during the journey that will bring her here. »** Thorin added. **« Keep a watchful eye on her, and help here if need be, please. I know you, and I trust you. You're the only one I can ask this of. »**

 **«** **I would die rather than to see any harm befalling her. »** Dwalin replied fervently, and Thorin knew his friend was sincere.

They exchanged a few last words, and then the moment had come to separate.

Thorin felt a strange feeling as he watched Dwalin walk away. The warrior was his best friend, and they had shared so many adventures their bond was as strong as a brotherly bond, and now that Thorin was suddenly alone – after so many months living in close companionship with Dwalin – he felt very lonely, very vulnerable. Yet at the same time he was happy, because Dwalin would be bringing good news to the survivors of Erebor who dewelled in the Blue Mountains and who waited eagerly for news from their king.

Thorin was impatient to see Laurelin's reaction when she would see Erebor again. He wanted to be there at this moment, at her side, ready to be there for her if the bad memories of old threatened to overcome her.

Of course it would take Dwalin at least five or six months to reach the Blue Mountains, even if he travelled at speed. And then it would take even longer for all the Dwarves to travel to Erebor. Thorin knew a whole a year – or even more – might go by before he would see everybody again. It would be a long wait before he would be able to see Laurelin again.

 _Mahal protect him, and protect my people when they will undertake the long journey home._ He prayed silently.


	23. TIME TO GO BACK HOME

Laurelin opened the window to let the fresh air of the outside flow into her bedroom. The air was still cold, but somehow it smelled of Spring and Laurelin knew the nature had started its slow reawakening. She breathed in deeply, several times. She was eager to feel the sun on her skin again, and to sit outside in the evenings, when all the work was finished.

She was about to walk away from the window to return to her work when suddenly she heard voices in the distance. Shouts and animated conversations, and laughter. At first she frowned, and then her heart started beating faster in her chest as he realized what it was all about : Thorin ! Thorin was back ! He was alive ! A smile came to her lips, and a moment later she ran out of the house as fast as her legs allowed it, without taking the time to comb her hair or to wash her dusty hands. She knew such details wouldn't matter for Thorin.

She walked through the streets of the village at a brisk pace, and soon she was breathless – but she didn't wlo down.

When she reached the village squares where all the Dwarves were gathered, she had to force her way through the crown. She was so eager to see Thorin that she used her shoulders to push people out of her way. He was so close... Her legs were trembling, and her fingers toyed nervously with the small wooden necklace Thorin had offered her for her birthday she had worn it every day, and she had cherished it like a real treasure. She wanted Thorin to see she was wearing it. She wanted him to see how much she cared for him.

Yet when she reached the center of the square, she saw that Thorin was not here. It was Dwalin. Only Dwalin. Her jaw dropped in disappointment, and she had to hold back her tears. This was so cruel. Why didn't Thorin come here himself ?

She took a deep breath and tried to regain some composure. She made an effort to listen to Dwalin's words.

 **«** **Erebor is ours again. »** the warrior bellowed at the top of his lungs, and the crowd roared enthusiastically in response. **« Our King is waiting for us in Erebor ! Thorin Oakenshiled defeated the dragon, and now Erebor is ours again ! Our homeland is awaiting us ! »**

Everybody cheered, aand all the Dwarves around Laurelin fought to get closer to Dwalin. He bore a few more scars than the last time Laurelin had seen him, but otherwise he hadn't changed. And he had said that Thorin was waiting for them in Erebor. He said that Thorin was alive. This idea made Laurelin incredibly happy, yet she wondered once more why he hadn't come back himself, to tell his people the good news in person.

Several minutes later, Laurelin saw the Lady Dis run straight to Dwalin. She was breathless, and her eyes were very red as if she had been crying. She exchanged a few quiet words with Dwalin, then a strange sound escaped her lips – something that sounded both like a sob and an hysterical giggle. But she smiled, and Laurelin couldn't help but smile as well. Fili and Kili, probably. So they had survived too, thank Mahal.

After a long while, the Dwarves slowly returned to their homes and their tasks, but Laurelin stayed within earshot of Dwalin, eager to catch a word or two about Thorin as the warrior spoke with other people. She was too shy to adress him herself, even though her lips burned with hundreds of questions.

When almost all the other Dwarves were gone, Dwalin's eyes suddenly fell on Laurelin. Instinctively, she guessed he wanted to talk to her. She froze, and for a moment she was too frightened to go to him – did she truly want to hear what he had to tell her ? What if he had something bad to tell her ? Would she be strong enough to keep her composure in front of Dwalin, if he told her something hard to hear ?

 **« Laurelin ? »** Dwalin called out, and then she no longer had any choice. Her feet carried her over to him.

Dwalin greeted her with a smile.

 **« So you were successful ? »** Laurelin started, feeling horribly awkward. She forced a nervous smile on her lips.

 **« Thorin has a special message for you. »** Dwalin said in his gruff voice. He looked around to see if nobody was listening. **« He wanted me to tell you that he had forgotten nothing. »**

Laurelin's face lit up like a candle when she heard the words Thorin had wanted her to hear. Her eyes filled with tears of joy, but she didn't want to let them flow in front of Dwalin she had always been very shy in his presence, because he was so tall, so strong, so overpowering. Even though she knew he was kind-hearted, and a loyal friend to Thorin, she couldn't help being impressed every time she found herself in his presence.

She closed her eyes and tried to picture him saying those words.

 _I have forgotten nothing._

She could almost hear his deep voice, and see the sparkle in his piercing blue eyes. She wanted to see him so badly, and suddenly she felt as if somebody had lit a firework in her heart. She had not been so happy in a very, very long time, because now she knew the Thorin who awaited her in Erebor would be the same Thorin than the one she had learned to appreciate and to care for during the years spent in his company.

Dwalin hesitated, then he spoke again :

 **« He missed you, during our journey. »** he added. **« He was very worried for you. I saw him looking at this pendant of yours, when he thought nobody was watching him. He is very eager to see you again, now. He never says it aloud, but it's obvious. »**

This time she couldn't keep her tears from rolling down her cheeks – but they were tears of joy. Unable te refrain herself, she completely forgot about her fears and without thinking, she hugged Dwalin between her white, slender arms. Then she realized what she was doing, and she let him go at once, blushing and apologizing. But she was still smiling, because the happiness Thorin's words had woken in her was stronger than anything else.

Dwalin smiled gently at Laurelin, showing a softer side of himself.

 **« Do you need help to pack your things, or to carry them ? »** he offered, but Laureln shook her head, still a bit ashamed of how familiat she had been with him.

 **« N... No, thank you. »** She said. **« I still have Thorin's small wagon. It's big enoug for my things, and I have this small donkey to pull it... »** And she gently caressed the little beast.

In truth, the donkey did not belong to her, but to her neighbour Freyna. But if Laurelin made room in the wagon for Freyna's stuff, then Freyna would probably be more than happy to use her donkey to pull it.

She was about to walk away, her hands trembling with emotion, when suddenly she turned around and looked at Dwalin over her shoulder.

 **« Thank you for your words... »** She said with genuine gratitude. **« It means a lot to me. »**

Dwalin nodded in response, and then Laurelin left him for good. She had so many things to do, so many things to prepare !

 _And within a few months... I will see Thorin again !_


	24. PREPARATIONS

Thorin entered the room that would be Laurelin's bedroom in a few weeks, when she and the others would reach Erebor. He knew eveything was perfect – because he had prepared everything himself, and he had made sure there was everything she needed in her room, everything she loved. But it made him feel better to come here. He was so impatient, so eager to see her, yet he knew it would still take them at least two months to reach Erebor. Coming into her chamber made him feel closer to her, as if part of her already lived here.

Thorin had chosen her bedroom in the same aisle as his own, so she would never be far away from him. He had grown accustomed to living in her presence, during their years in the Blue Mountains, and after having been separated from her for so many months he never wanted to be far from her again. It was not the biggest of all bedrooms, but it was a very comfortable one. In the main room where she would probably spend most of her time, it had a huge hearth on the northern wall, and a heap of firewood was neatly stacked right next to it. Then there was a small corner with another hearth, a smaller one, but where she would be able to cook of course it would not be an obligation for her anymore, since there would be enough cooks in the main kitchens of Erebor, but if she wanted to she would have the possibility to prepare her own meals. Thorin was sure she would appreciate this. The storeroom was approvisioned too for now, it was only filled with non-perishable food, like bags of flour and dried herbes and kegs of salted meat, but as soon as Laurelin would be her Thorin would make sure there would be fresh food, too. There was also a big oaken table in the chamber, as well as six matching chairs with flowers carved into their backs. One of the walls was entirely covered with shelves. Thorin had filled on shelf with book from the library of Erebor – he was sure Laurelin would appreciate them better than any other Dwarf – but there was still plenty of room for Laurelin to add her own favourites, later. The bed itself was located in a small alcove carved directly into the wall it was stocked with big comfortable pillows, with heavy furs and woolen covers for the cold winter nights, and with freshly washed linens. Heavy velvet curtains could be drawn to give her more privacy while she slept. In one corner of the room, not far from the hearth, behind an ornate wooden parapet Thorin had placed a bathtub as well as a smaller basin, where Laurelin could wash comfortably. Several towels were already waiting there for her, and a small but pretty dressing table was standing nearby. Thorin knew Laurelin was not the kind of woman to spend hours making herself pretty, but she still deserved some of these things most women seemed to like so much : brushes and combs and pins for her hair, and a bit of jewelry, and a bottle or two of perfume... Of course, the dressing table was still empty, because neither Thorin nor any of the Dwarves he spent time with knew what kind of things Laurelin might want to have in this particular field, so he had left the drawers empty.

After a while, Thorin sighed and left the room again, feeling this dull ache in his chest like everytime when he thought about Laurelin.

 _Mahal be kind, and bring them here soon._ He prayed for the umpteenth time.

He ate dinner with his nephews that evening, and for a while their happy chatter and their laughter kept his mind away from Laurelin, but when time came to go to bed he was alone again – and this loneliness was getting heavier and heavier. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to endure it. He left Erebor and walked barefoot in the grass and finally he sat on a large flat stone to look at the stars, as he used to do on warm summer nights with Laurelin. He wondered if she was looking at the stars at this moment, too.

Instinctively, his hand reached into his pocket and grabbed Laurelin's necklace. It was so familiar, now, that he would have felt naked without it. As his fingers slowly stoeked the polished black surface of anyx, Thorin wondered what Laurelin was doing right now. Was she thinking of him as much as he was thinking of her ? Was she all right ? Was she safe ? Even though he knew the answer to these last questions was probably « yes » - Dwalin himself was watching over her, after all – he couldn't help but worry.

He was still sitting there and clutching the pendant when he heard footsteps behind him.

 **« Uncle Thorin ? »** Kili called in a joyful voice. **« Oh, here you are ! We found you at last ! »** He turned around and yelled his brother's name. **« Fili, he's here ! I found him ! »** His smile was beaming, and when Fili joined them, a few moments later, he proudly exhibited a rolled-up piece of parchment. **« A messenger just brought us this. From Dwalin. »**

Maybe there will be news from Laurelin written in the letter, Thorin realized. Dwalin knowing how attached his king was to the young woman, he always added a small bit at the end of the letter to tell him about Laurelin. Thorin wanted nothing but to jump on his feet and snatch the piece of paper out of his nephews's hands, but he forced himself to act with dignitiy : he git up slowly, and tried to hide his impatience behind a stern face.

 **« You dropped this. »** Fili said, kneeling to pick up Laurelin's pendant. Then he exchanged a mischievous look with his younger brother, before giving the necklace back to Thorin.

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin said gruffly, feeling a bit embarrassed. **« It... it belongs to Laurelin, and I need to give it back to her when she and the others join us here. »**

 **« We know it's from Laurelin. »** Kili said with an impish smile. **« We grew up seeing her wearing this necklace. »**

 **« I never thought she would part of it someday. »** Fili added, looking intently at his uncle, with a sparkle in his blue eyes. The corner of his lips twitched slightly, making his braided moustache flutter. **« I bet you must be very important to her, if she did so for you. »**

When Thorin looked at his nephews, they almost looked like they were rejoicing in making him so ill at ease. Thorin had never spoken of Laurelin to them, never, yet they had grown up looking at him like a father. They knew him well, and they had seen him around with Laurelin. Obviously, they had guessed everything. And now they were using this knowledge to torture their uncle. Thorin was not ashamed of Laurelin, but never before had he felt such strong feelings for anybody, and talking about it made him nervous.

 _And the lads know it, and they're doing it on purpose. Thank Mahal that I'm so fond of you, boys, or else I would have throttled you in your sleep for your impudence._ Thorin mused, but in his heart he was happy to see them alive.

 **« I am eager to see her again. »** He admitted. **« And I hope she is just as eager to see me again. »** He had tried to keep his fears out of his voice, but somehow the lads still perceived it. Fili was the first to talk.

 **« It's pretty obvious she likes you – not only because she gave you her precious pendant. Because... »** He shrugged. **« It's just obvious, that's all. Every time we saw you together, in the Blue Mountains, I already thought about you as une unseparable pair. Your lives were so closely entwined. »**

 **« Mother always wondered when you would realize at last that you are made for each other. »** Kili said, and then he chuckled. **« Sometimes she even said that if you both keep on ignoring your feelings, then she would have to interfere to make you both see the truth. »**

Thorin's cheeks were suddenly very red, very hot.

 **« You were talking about me and Laurelin, with your mother ? »** He didn't even want to imagine what exactly they had been whispering to each other behind his back. Yet at the same time, he couldn't blame them. Had he not done the same with Dwalin, when Dis had started seeing the Boraìn so long ago ? Had they not speculated as well on how long it would take them to marry, or to have their first child ?

The brothers exchanged a smile, they they both laughed.

 **« We were neither blind nor stupid. »** Fili said. **« And we know you well. We saw things that no one else saw, not even you two. »**

His smile was kind and friendly, and the boy's acceptance warmed his heart.

A few moments later, Fili and Kili walked away again, chattering happily and joking about Bofur, who had been drunk once more the night before. Thorin read the letter, and was pleased to read that the wandering Dwarves had not encountered any danger. They were tired, but eager to arrive in Erebor. And then, at the end, Dwalin added a few lines about Laurelin : nothing special, just a few words to tell Thorin that she was well, to reassure him.

Then he rolled up the parchment again. He felt relieved, after reading such good news. The wilds were a dangerous place, and many dangers could befall his people while they were on the roads even with Azog defeated and dead, there were other creatures, other dangers. Then he looked up at the stars again, and wondered what their lives would be like, once they would all be settled in Erebor again would they be able to bring the Mountain back to its former glory ? How would the other people react ? The men of LakeTown ? And the Elves of Mirkwood, what would they say ? And Dain ? For a long while he had been the greatest of all Dwarves, and his Iron Hills had been the greatest of all Dwarven kingdoms. How would he react now that Thorin was back as King of Durin's line ? Would he resent his cousin, or rejoice in his victory ?

Thorin sighed. So many worries, so many questions. And only time would bring the answers. He could do nothing but wait, and wait, and wait.


	25. FINDINGS

Two months later, as Thorin watched from the high balcony over the gates of Erebor, he saw a cloud of dust on the horizon – and then he knew his people were arriving. His heart started hammering in his broad chest.

 _They are here, at last. After so many months, they are here._

He sent Balin to gather all his companions on the baclony, and together they waited for the newcomers. Soon they were able to distinguish faces and silhouettes. Thorin was eagerly looking for Laurelin's brown hair flying in the wind, but at first he saw nothing but tired faces of men and women who were definitely not Laurelin. They all looked up at him and greeting him loudly, but he barely heard their voices. Where was Laurelin ? Why was she not here ? Had something happened to her ? By Mahal, why was she not here ?

And then suddenly he spotted her, walking beside a small wagon pulled by a donkey. A powerful wave of relief washed over him as he recognized her slender silhouette, her pretty beardless face, her long brown hair. She was wearing a worn woolen dress, and old boots, and the splendid elven cloak Thorin had sent her from Rivendell its colours had not faded, and it shone emerald green in the light of this grey, boring day. She had braided her hair, and even from his balcony he could see the pendant he had carved for her dangling around her neck. A long thrill ran down his back, making him shiver from head to toe.

 _She is here. At last, after such a long wait, she is here. My Laurelin. My love._

He smiled and felt tears of emotion fill in his eyes.

Next moment, he returned inside and ran down the stairs four at a time, forgetting about his dignity. It didn't take him long to reach the newcomers everybody wanted to thank him and to congratulate him on his victory, and to share a few words with him, so he couldn't quite ignore them. Every time he had to stop, and to say a few words, and to smile politely even if inwardly his heart was yearning to run to Laurelin.

When he was done with the small talk at last, he was free to meet Laurelin at last. They both froze as they saw each other. Thorin couldn't help but scrutinize every inch of her face, as if to make sure it was true and not just his imagination playing tricks on him He looked at the soft peach fuzz on her cheeks, the freckles on her small nose, the sparkle of hope and joy in her big brown eyes... It was her, yes – without a doubt. It was Laurelin. He opened his arms and closed them around her, and he held her close for a long moment. It was almost too good to be true. He couldn't believe it was truly happening, yet he could feel her warmth against him, and the smell of her hair, and she clung to him like a woman about to drown would cling to her raft, with surprising strength for a woman so slender.

For a long time they said no word, and just enjoyed each other's company in silence. But when he released her at last – very reluctantly – he saw no smile on her face, but tears. At first he didn't understand, but then he saw that she was staring at his scar. The one on his face, that ran across his brow and ended on his nose. Thorin had grown so accustomed to it, during these months, that he barely saw it anymore, but now he realized what a shock it probably was to Laurelin and all the others who had last seen him more than two years ago. And on top of everything else, he had knocked his head in the darkness, as he had explored the mines with some of Daìn's dwarves a few days ago the scar-tissues had been ripped open by the rough surface of the rock, creating a wound that looked a bit gruesome even if it was, in truth, no more than a scratch.

 **« It's nothing. »** Thorin said reassuringly, with a smile. He wanted to stroke her cheek, but he was not sure how she would react to such a touch, after this long separation. **« Within a few days it will be gone and forgotten. »**

 **« But the scar... »** Laurelin whispered, still looking horrified. **« Who gave you that scar ? What happened ? »** At this moment she understood how close he had been from getting killed. She had almost lost him during this damned battle. She put her hand in front of her mouth, and bit her lips to keep herself from crying.

Thorin fet a twinge of sadness. He had expected tears of emotion, but not tears of pain and shock. He felt guilty for making her feels these things, when all he wanted was to make her happy. Yet at the same time, he felt deeply flattered that the idea of him almost dying had such an impact on her. It made him realize how important he was to her. He took her in his arms again, and rested his chin on her frail shoulders, and allowed a few tears ti run free they rolled down his rugged cheeks, before getting lost in his black beard.

 **« Nothing in this world could have prevented me from coming back to you. »** He whispered into her ear, his voice hoarse with contained emotions. **« Not even death could have stopped me , because you are the most important thing in the world for me and I needed to see you again. »**

Laurelin cried even harder as she heard his words. She buried her face in his chest and grabbed the back of his shirt with both hands, snuggling as close to him as it was possible. Then, after a while, she gathered her courage and stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the corner of the jaw, very timidly. His beard prickled her soft lips, and then her cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she talked to him :

 **« Maybe we should look after this wound, don't you think ? To help it heal more quickly ? »** She asked, lowering her eyes.

 **« Yes, of course. »** He replied, his face just as red as Laurelin's. This gentle kiss had taken him by surprise, and made him blush in embarrassment like a shy little maid. It had been so light and so soft that he had barely felt it, like a bird's feather, yet it had given him shivers of excitement all over  
his body. **« But not right now. »** He added regretfully. **« I am sorry, but I must speak with Dwalin, and welcome my people, and I also have other duties to attend to before I can take the time to care about myself. »**

Thorin had barely just taken the time to wash out the dirt from his wound. He knew it was nothing, and it would heal on its own , but it it truly distressed Laurelin he would be glad to let her do whatever she wanted with him, as soon as he would have some time to be alone with her.

 **« Of course. »** Laurelin replied, nodding. **« I won't bother you any more. »** She said shyly. **« We will see each other later. »**

 **« Would you stay with me Laurelin ? Would you stand at my side while I wlecome them back to the halls of Erebor ? »** Thorin asked. The idea of her leaving his side so soon after their reunion was unbearable. He had missed her so much.

Laurelin smiled and nodded.

 **« It would be my pleasure, my King. »** She said pleasantly. And then she followed him as he walked from one group of Dwarves to the other. She saw him welcome his sister the Lady Dis, before rthe Dwarf woman was swept away from Thorin by both her sons. She also watched the reunion between Dwalin and Thorin, but when the warrior suggested to make a full account of the journey to Thorin, the king of the Dwarves just shook his head.

 **« Later. »** he said. **« For now, you'll be more useful helping all these newcomers to settle comfortably. Balin will help you, and Nori and Ori have volunteered to lend a hand as well. They're waiting for you in the Great Hall. »**

Dwalin nodded, and Thorin smiled proudly at him. He knew he would always be able to count on his friend.

Once Dwalin was gone, Thorin turned to Laurelin. She was actually the true reason why he had not wanted to talk to the warrior right now he was too eager to be alone with her to listen to the other Dwarf's words right now. He had so many things to tell Laurelin ! So as soon as it was possible, they made off together and Thorin led her to his personal appartmaant. Laurelin didn't remember much – she had been so young, when she had fled Erebor – and was glad to follow Thorin, who had had time to explore the endless halls of Erebor during the time he had waited for her.

 **« Sit down. »** She ordered him gently, pointing at one of the chairs. **« I'm going to take care of that. Do you have warm water ? »**

 **« There must be some in the kettle over the fire. »** Thorin replied, as he obediantely sat into the chair. He watched Laurelin who was bustling about. Every muscle in his body relaxed as he understood she would be taking care of him again, as she used to do before they had been separated.

Laurelin poured a bit of warm water in the basin she found in one corner of the room, then she found a clean towel on a shelf, as well as lavender-perfumed soap. Then she went back to Thorin. She froned as she watched his wound. It wasn't deep, but there was still some dirt under the black crust. It would not be easy to clean, but Laurelin was determined to do whatever it took to make a proper job. She wanted Thorin to feel pampered and safe and comfortable, like in the Blue Mountains. She dipped the piece of cloth into the soapy water, then she moistened the hard black crust. At first she stood next to Thorin, but after a while she realized it would be easier if she were standing in front of him, so she moved and settled between his open legs. Her face was so close to his that she could see every pore of his skin, every tiny hair.

Thorin had nothing do do but to sit and wait till she was done, so just watched her silently. She was so close he could feel her breath on his skin it gave him a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, as if he had eaten frogs that jumped about his belly. Somehow, it made him forget everything he had been though since he had left her alone in the Blue Mountains : the pain, the hardship, the battles and the scars, everything was gone and forgotten, replaced by a blissful feeling of happiness. He watched Laurelin intently : the way her hads moved like tiny white creatures with a life of their own, the way she bit her lip while she was concentrated on Thorin's wound... She was wearing humble and worn clothes, but underneath there was the warmth and softness of her skin, and the beating of her young heart. He couldn't help bu be aware of how close she was, so close their bodies were almost touching. Thorin was aware – in a slightly awkward way - of each of her movements but her presence and her touch also reassured him. She was still the Laurelin he had known in the Blue Mountains, and she was here, and their bond was just as strong as it used to be - and nothing would ever come to stand between them again. Nothing had changed, except that now they were truly home.

 **« Don't worry. »** He said softly when he saw her wince as she cleaned the wound. **« It's nothing. »** I've had worse injuries during the battle, he almost added, but he bit his tongue just in time to keep the words from escaping. Terrifrying Laurelin would bring no good. It was better to keep these gruesome details to himself.

He lifted one hand and stroked her cheek very gently, enjoying the unusual smoothness of her cheeks. He had never seen a woman like her before.

Laurelin blushed as she felt Thorin's touch on her face, even more so because she was standing close to him, so close. She could feel his strong thighs on either side of her own legs, and it made her feel slightly dizzy. Her eyes went from the wound on Thorin's brow to his eyes her eyes were shining with conainted emotions.

 **« My king. »** She whispered almost pleadingly, stretching out her hand to touch Thorin's. Seeing him woke up all the pain she had endured during his absence : all this sadness, this loneliness, these endless worries... Tears welled up in her eyes as she remembered the bitter days of solitude, and the empty walls of the house standing all around her.

Thorin saw how distressed she was, and Laurelin's sadness brought his own pain back to life, but he refused to let any bad memory tarnish this first moment alone with the woman he had been craving to see again for such a long time.

 **« Laurelin. »** he whispered very gently, to reassure her and to make her understand it was all over now – no more pain – but also because he liked saying her name. It made his own pain go away, as if it were some sort of magic spell.

Laurelin finished cleaning Thorin's wound, but more and more tears were running down her cheeks, turning everything around her into blurred patches of colors. For a moment she considered putting a bandage over the injury, but then she realized she would not be able to do so she felt so weak, at the brink of bursting into loud sobs, so she just stepped away from Thorin and asked in a tense voice if she could leave.

Thorin looked at her, surprised, wondering why she was so eager to leave – even more so in a moment when she felt so distressed – but he didn't want to upset her any more so her nodded and told her she was free to leave whenever she wanted. Of course he would have loved to talk with her for hours, but if such was her desire this conversation could wait till she had recovered.

 **« The journey from the Blue Mountains was long and exhausting, I guess. »** He said with a kind smile. **« You deserve to have some time for yourself to rest and recover. I just want you to remember that you will be welcome here, in my chambers, at any time of the day or the night. »** He was already dreading the feeling of loneliness that would fill this place once she would be gone. He lifted his right hand to wipe away Laurelin's tears. **« I understand you feel drained, after all these emotions. A few hours of sleep will do you good, but please do not try to hide your tears from me. There's no shame, Laurelin. »**

He smiled warmly at her, but his fingers were still stroking her wet and glistening cheeks. Laurelin lifted her hand, and put it softly on Thorin's wrists. Then she closed her eyes and sighed deeply, showing him how much even this small contact helped her feeling better. She savoured it for a short while, then she kissed Thorin's hand, with musch respect but also with tenderness. Then she walked quickly out of Thorin's bedroom, after bowing to him one last time.

Thorin wanted to scream her name, to beg her to stay at his side – he didn't want her to leave him so soon – but the words refused to come out of his mouth. So he just watched her walk away at a brisk pace, and once she was gone he stared open-mouthed at the frame of the door where she had disappeared, already feeling nostalgic for this moment they had shared.

Next morning, Thorin sought out Laurelin. If it had been up to him, he would have knocked at her door at the first hours of dawn, but he had forced himself to wait till the sun was higher in the sky. He didn't want to wake her up or to bother her on her first morning in Erebor. But when the bells rang the tenth hour of the morning, he could't wait anymore. He stood in front of the door to her bedroom and knocked very softly. Her heard her light steps at once, on the other side of the wooden panel, and then she opened the door. She smiled as she recognized Thorin, and invited him to enter, very politey.

 **« I hope you like your new room ? »** He asked, and he couldn't help but smile. The mere fact of being in her presence made him giddy.

 **« It is wonderful. »** She said truthfully.

There was a moment of silence, then Thorin pulled Laurelin's necklace out of his pocket and held it in his open hand, under Laurelin's nose.

 **« I kept it safe against my chest all the time. »** He said. **« I looked after it even better than I looked after my own life. »** He added. **« It was my lucky charm during my long journey. It kept me safe when we faced danger. I have to thank you once more for giving it to me. And today I am more than glad to give it back to you. »**

Laurelin's eyes filled with tears once more. She closed Thorin's big fingers around the pendant, as she had already done on the day Thorin had left her in the Blue Mountains, before the quest of Erebor. She didn't say a word, but the message was clear enough. She wanted him to keep it.

Thorin nodded briefly, then he pressed his hand with the necklace against his chest, right over his heart.

 **« Thank you. »** He breathed in his deep voice. Carrying this pendant had become an habit for him, and he would have felt truly vulnerable without it – so Laurelin's decision to let him keep it came as a real relief. **« And there's this, also. »** He said, as he grabbed the velvet pouch hanging from his belt. **« Before leaving for Erebor I left you a small chest of gold, and you decided to send these coins to me in Rivendell instead of keeping them for yourself. Today I insist on giving them back to you. No, Laurelin... Please. »** He said, when she opened her mouth to refuse. **« Don't refuse. Take this gold, and use it well Buy yourself something that you really want. Something that will make you really happy. »**

Laurelin nodded.

 **« I will, my King. »** She said. But deep down she knew that nothing in the world would make her as happy as being reunited with Thorin. It was something gold couldn't buy, something infinitely more precious than all the treasures of Erebor.

Thorin had barely left Laurelin when Dwalin came to talk to him. They went together to Thorin's chamber, and for a long time they talked about nothing but Dwalin's long journey back to Erebor, with all the other Dwarves. They had enciuntered no major problem, apart from an awfully bad weather during the months of spring.

When there was nothing left to say about this subject, Dwalin leaned forwards and lowered his voice. Thorin understood at once that the next question would be more personal – not a conversation from one friend to another, not from a King to his subject.

 **« And... And Laurelin ? »** The warrior asked gruffly. **« You told her 'bout your feeling yet ? Did you... »** He lowered his voice even more. **« Did you spread her legs already ? »** He asked with a bawdy smile.

Thorin recoiled as if Dwalin had slapped him.

 **« She's not a piece of meat ! »** He said sharply. He knew Dwalin well, and he knew that the warrior had probably not meant to insult Laurelin. It was just his way of talking – he had been brought up by a rough bunch of Dwarves, after all – and usually it didn't bother Thorin that much to hear such words from his mouth. He had grown used to it. But this time it was different. This time it was about Laurelin. And this time it _did_ bother him.

 **« Sorry. »** Dwalin apologized quickly, when he realized he had ruffled Thorin's feathers. **« I didn't mean no harm... »**

Thorin sighed.

 **« I know. It's just... Well, I did talk to her, actually, but not about my feelings for her. I need to be sure that she's feeling the same for me, before telling her... and I must find the right moment to do so, as well. I'm not in a hurry. I don't want to ruin what we already have by blurting out awkward words. It has to be... »** He sighed again, then he decided to be truly honest with his old friend. **« In truth, Dwalin, I have to admit I'm a bit afraid to talk to her about my feelings. What if she turns me down ? What if it breaks our bond of frienship and trust ? »**

Dwalin, who knew Thorin well, chuckled softly.

 **« I watched her, you know. »** He said gently. **« I watched the tears in her eyes when she saw you again, for the first time in years. I watcher her stand at your side while wou greeted and welcomed the Dwarves back to Erebor. I watched her as you two walked away together, a few moments later, to be alone together. »** He paused and smiled gruffly. Thorin realized the warrior had come to his own conclusions as to what Thorin and Laurelin had been doing during this time alone together. **« You want my opinion, Thorin ? The girl's as much in love with you as you are with her. You shouldn't worry too much a bout that. »**

Thorin shrugged.

 **« I don't know. »** He said slowly. **« Really, I don't know. The only thing I am sure about is that I want to spend all my time in her company – to talk, and to laugh with her like we used to in the Blue Mountains, and to spend our evenings together reading or playing games... »** He looked Dwalin straight in the eyes. **« Not to do what you think we have been doing. »** He added sternly, and Dwalin nodded meekly.

 **« Then what are you waiting for ? »** Dwalin asked. **« You've been separated for such a long time. You didn't see each other for two years, Thorin !** ** _Two years !_** **There will never be a better moment than now, d'you realize that ? Why don't you go to her right now, and tell her what's weighting on your heart ? »**

Thorin clenched his teeth and gave his friend a sharp look. He knew he wasn't handling all this very well. He was aware of his own weakness. It killed him to be unable to express his feelings to Laurelin. He didn't need Dwalin rubbing salt in the wounds by reminding him of how stupid and cowardly he was acting right now.

 **« Can't you just leave me alone ? »** He said, annoyed.

But Dwalin didn't seem to hear him.

 **« She travelled alone. »** He said very seriously. **« Not once did I see her spend any time with another man. Why do you think a pretty lass like her is alone, if not because her heart already belongs to someone ? »** He paused, then he pointed at his broad chest. **« I don't know if you've noticed, but she wears the necklace, too – the one you made for her in Laketown. Sometimes at night, when she thought she was alone, she would remove it from her neck and hold it in her hands while looking at the stars. I'm sure it means a lot to her. »**

Thorin couldn't help but smile.

 **« Truly ? »** He asked, and there was so much hope and joy in his voice that Dwalin chuckled fondly. **« But Dwalin, please. Leave this to me. Don't try to interfere, or to help in any way. I know you mean to help me, but please, stay out of it. »**

This time Dwalin laughed out loud.

 **« Don't worry, Thorin. »** He said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. **« I won't put my big nose into your business. I'm no good with women anyway, but... »** He paused and considered Thorin for a long while, suddenly serious again. **« But let me just give you one last piece of advice : don't wait too long, or somebody else will tell her the words you are afraid to say. Don't let her wait too long, or else she might think you're feeling no more than frienship for her. »**

This thought was unbearable. The idea that Laurelin – the woman who made his heart leap with joy everytime he saw her – might turn away from him to share her life with another Dwarf was torture.

 **« A few more days. »** He said at last. **« I think I'll need a few more days to gather my courage, and then I'll talk to her. »**

They shared a long look, and then they shook hands.

 **« You're my friend and I want to see you happy, that's all. »** Dwalin said at last.

A few moments later, they were interrupted by a messenger knocking at Thorin's door. Dwalin left, and Thorin unrolled the parchement the messenger handed him – but his mind was elsewhere. His mind was with Laurelin.

Now that she was here at last, Erebor had truly become a home for Thorin Oakenshiled, the new King under the Mountain.

That same evening, when Thorin returned to his chambers after a long hard day – helping all the Dwarves to settle in was not an easy task – he was surprise to find a clothing chest in his bedroom. When he opened it, he recognized all the clothes and other items he had left behind in the Blue Mountains, when he had left for the quest of Erebor. He felt an odd twinge of nostalgia as he saw these old things, because they reminded him of a life that had disappeared forever living in the Blue Mountains had not been as good as living in Erebor, yet Thorin had lots of happy and beautiful memories there. Seeing his old things stirred these memories and brought them back to life, and he smiled as he remembered all the hours he had spent teaching Laurelin to read or to write, or the endless hours working in his small forge... They had not been unhappy, and somehow the idea that he would never set foot in the small mountain village again made him sad...

 **« Laurelin... »** He whispered with a fond smile. It could only be her.

Then he got his clothes out of the chest to put them into the tall wardrobe of black wood that stood in one corner of his bedroom – and he noticed that Laurelin had not only brought them back to him, but she had also mended them, and dyed them anew, and some of them she had even embroidered with golden or silver thread, making everything look truly regal. Some of them were truly fit for a king, now, and the rest would be comfortable for the quiet days at home.

At the bottom of the chest, Thorin also found his books. Each of them had been wrapped in a white linen, and none had suffered from the long journey they were just as perfect as on the day he had left them behind.

Once everything was cleared away at its new place, Thorin went to knock at Laurelin's door.

 **« I've found the chest. »** He said, with a broad smile on his lips.

Laurelin smiled back.

 **« I entrusted ot to Dumran for the journey, because it was easy for him to carry such a heavy weight, with his big wagon pulled by oxes. »** She explained. **« I hoped he would have it brought to your chambers as soon as possible. »**

 **« Thank you. »** Thorin said fondly. **« Once more you've proven how kind and devoted you are. »** He said. **« Most would have taken their own things, and left everything else behind, but you took the time to pack my own stuff and to bring it here with you... »** He touched her cheek, very softly. **« It's good to know there is someone I can truly rely on, but... you shouldn't have put so much effort into refreshing these clothes. »**

Laurelin frowned, suddenly afraid.

 **« You don't like them ? »** She asked, looking up at him. **« Are you... Are you angry at me because I touched your personal things ? »**

 **« Oh no, Laurelin. »** He reassured her at once, taking her hand in his. **« You've misunderstood me. I love what you have done. Your skills at sewing and embroidery are absolutely wonderful, and my clthes are perfect. They are even better, now, than they were at the moment I bought them, if you want me to be honest. But I just meant... All these hours you've spent working on my clothes... »** He shook his head. **« You should have spent these hours taking care of yourself, Laurelin. »** He stroked her cheek, more firmly this time. **« It really touches my heart to know you've been thinking of me all along, Laurelin. You cannot imagine how incredibly happy this thought makes me. But at the same time it makes me sad, because all the time you devoted to me were lost to you. Instead of resting or enjoying yourself you just worked even more. »**

Thorin still remembered Dwalin's words, so he searched for the pendant he had carved into the wood for her, and he saw that she was wearing it indeed.

Laurelin saw his eyes linger on it.

 **« It brightened my day, when this man came and brought it to me. »** She said with a gentle smile, and a sparkle of joy in her eyes. **« I knew you hadn't forgotten. In spite of all the dangers, you were still thinking of me. I wanted to write you an answer so badly. »** She continued. **« But I didn't know from where you had sent it to me, and I knew even less where you would be by the time I came up with a decent response... It killed me to just sit there and do nothing... »**

 **« Don't worry... »** Thorin said reassuringly. **« I knew you wouldn't be able to answer, and I didn't expect anything back from you... I just... I just wanted to let you know that I hadn't forgotten your birthday. »**

He could still remember that day in LakeTown, when he had carved the pendant. He had missed her so much, that day. He was not even sure he would ever see her again, and he had been aware that this necklace might have been his very last gift to her.

 _But it's over now._ He reflected, his heart starting to beat faster with emotion. _No more dangers, no more death. And the necklace is at its rightful place : around Laurelin's pretty neck._

 **« No one had ever offered me such a beautiful gift before. »** She told him, her voice suddenly shy. A slight blush coloured her cheeks.

 **« It's just a bauble. »** Thorin said, shrugging. **« No more than carved wood. »**

 **« But... »** She started, but her throat was tight and the words refused to come. The fact that it came from Thorin himself was what made this pendant so precious, so important. She didn't care whether it was made of woor or of gold Thorin had made it with love, and he had made it for her, and nothing else mattered. Tears of emotion filled her eyes as she remembered her own feelings, on the day she had received this gift : after months and months of worries and fear and uncertainty, one day this man had knocked at her door to bring her Thorin's necklace. It had meant Thorin was alive. It had meant hope.

 **« You deserved something much better, but se had spent our last coins to pay Bard. »** Thorin explained. **« So I had to do with whatever was at hand. But it really warms my heart to see that you wore it in my absence, and that you keep wearing it now. »**

 **« Thank you. »** Laurelin said in a weak, trembling voice.

Thorin watched her intently, and he guessed how hard it must have been for her to spend such a long time alone. He opened his arms and hugged her tightly, wishing life had offered them another option that being separated for two years.

Laurelin rested her head against Thorin's chest and sighed deeply, doing her best to keep her tears in check. She put her arms around Thorin's waist and hugged him back it was still hard to believe she was here at last, and that everything was over, and that they were together again. Touching him, clinging to him as she did now helpd her making everything more real.

They remained like that for a very long while, enjoying each other's warm presence. Thorin was glad to see that the bond uniting them had not feded during the years of separation – on the contrary. He felt like they were even closer now than they had been in the Blue Mountains. Feeling hr against him, so small and vulnerable and trusting, made him feel wonderfully happy. It was the best feeling in the didn't want to let her go, ever again.

 _I love you..._ He wanted to say, but somehow he still didn't find the courage to utter these words aloud. But it didn't matter.

For now, holding Laurelin in his arms was more than enough.


	26. HOME

Next morning, Thorin woke up before the break of dawn. Everything was still silent, except for the wild barking of some dog in the distance. The sun was not even close to getting up. For a moment he considered going up, but then he remembered what had heppened the day before and he smiled. Laurelin had come to his bedroom just before he had gotten to bed she had asked him if he had some laundry to wash or to mend, and Thorin had been overjoyed to see her one last time before sleep. She had gathered the heap of laundry in her arms, but Thorin had forbidden her to wash them at once.

 _It is late already and you nest rest._ He had told her in his kindest voice, with a beaming smile. And then, as she was already leaving his bedroom, he had gathered his courage to asked her – in a hopeful voice – if she would be here next morning as he woke up. He had added that of course it was not an obligation, it was up to her to decide whether she wanted this or not. After a short moment of hesitation, Laurelin had accepted to come.

 _Of course I will come._ She had told him, before bidding him good-night. Then they had shared a long look, and a smile, and then she was gone. And Thorin had fallen asleep, knowing the first face he would see in the morning would be that of the woman he loved.

But now he was awake much earlier than predicted – he was so restless, so impatient to see her – and Laurelin was probably still asleep, recovering from her long and hard journey. _Asleep in a real bed..._ Thorin reflected. For the first time in months, she was alseep in a real, warm and comfortable bed.

Thorin decided to wait for her in bed. There had been so much work to do, since they had reconquered Erebor, that he had never taken the time to simply enjoy his life – but now wasd probably the best moment to start. He shifted slightly under his blankets, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes to relax. It felt good, to do nothing.

In fact, he actually relaxed so much that he fell asleep again.

Several hours later, Laurelin opened the door as quietly as possible and entered into his bedroom. She couldn't help bt watch him as he slept he looked so serene, so peaceful. The lines on his face had disappeared now that his features were so relaxed. Then she opened the heavy velvet curtains, allowing the light of the sun to flow in. Since it wasn't enough to wake him, Laurelin walked over to his bed again. She didn't really know what to do, or how to wake him, because she had never done this before : neither with Thorin, nor with anybody else. She felt slightly nervous. She stared at him for a while, hoping he would unconsciously feel her gaze upon him and wake up, but obviosul the magic didn't work.

After another moment of hesitation, she decided to prepare his clothes and his breakfast before waking him up. It took her longer than in the Blue Mountains, because the place was still unfamiliar to her and she had to explore every drawer, every cupboard before finding what she needed to prepare Thorin's food as he liked it.

When everything was ready, he was still asleep but this time she knew she would have no other choice but to wake him.

 **« My King... ? »** She whispered softly. **« It is time to wake up, now. The sun is high in the sky already. »**

She put one of her hands on Thorin's uncovered shoulder, and rubbed it slightly

Thorin grumbled, obviously not ver happy to be disturbed in his sleep. Then, he opened his eyes and he recognized Laurelin – and suddenly a smile appeared on his lips. The warmth of her hand on his shoulder was an unexpected bonus.

 **« Good morning. »** He said, his voice still sleepy. **« So how was your first night in Erebor ? »**

Laurelin smiled.

 **« Wonderful. »** She said, without removing her hand from Thorin's shoulder.

They shared a long look of complicity.

Thorin couldn't have dreamt of a better way to start the day.

Later that day, Thorin was sitting in the Council Chamber of Erebor, where he welcomed avery Dwarf who wanted – for whatever reason – to have a private audience with him. Balin was there, as well as a few other trusted Dwarves who had come from the Blue Mountains the day before. And Laurelin was there, too, of course. Thorin had asked her if she would mind staying at his side, and she had been glad to accept – any excuse to be close to Thorin was good to take. Yet now that she was standing here, so small between the high walls of bare stone, where every whisper echoed as loudly as a shout, she felt nervous and insecure. She felt like a tiny ant lost in a world too big for her. Thorin was sitting on the High Chair at one end of the Council Chamer it was an imposing seat carved into the stone of the mountain, with elaborate ornaments that made it look like a throne.

Laurelin was sitting next to him, in a chair that was smaller but very pretty all the same. She knew that before Smaug, this seat was traditionnally used by the King's wife, when she decided to be part of the audiences. Laurelin felt a bit uneasy to sit there, yet at the same time she was honoured and flattered.

When the old Dwarf who was talking to Thorin was done at last with complaining about the number of chicken he had lost during the journey, she got up from her beautiful chair and escorted him back to the exit.

Then, in the hall where the next Dwarves were already waiting for their own audience, Laurelin asked who was next. A group of three women stood up from their chairs. Laurelin greeted them nicely, with a polite smile, but she couldn't help but stare at them. All three of them were pretty, with beads of gold and copper in their soft woman-beards, and wearing richly embroidered dresses of velvet and silk. They wore jewels in their ears, in their hair, around their necks and wrists, even around their chubby fingers. They smelled of expensive perfume bought Mahal knows where, and they looked so perfect that Laurelin could almost see them sitting on a throne next to Thorin, with a crown on their heads. These were the kind of women a king needs at his side. Young, beautiful, feminine and well dressed. Seeing them was like a punch in the stomach for Laurelin just like so many years ago, in the Blue Mountains, when she had stared at an expensive dress on the market, it made her understand how unfit she was to be in Thorin's company. She looked at her rough and callused hands, at her neglected hair, at her humble clothes... Tears welled up in her eyes and a lump formed in her throat, but she just swallowed it back and forced herself to smile as she bid the three gorgeous women to follow her into the Council Chamber.

She took a deep breath and opened the door, and then she entered, followed by the three women.

One look was enough for Thorin to understand that something was wrong with Laurelin. He barely listened while Laurelin gave him the names of the women, and he desperately tried to make eye contact with her as she walked back to her seat next to him. He wanted to know what had happened, but she refused to look at him. It was obvious she avoided him, thus giving him no chance to ask the questions he wanted to ask.

Thorin greeted the three women, but soon he found out he was unable to talk to them while Laurelin was so obviously distressed at his side.

 **« Young ladies, I am honoured by your presence here, and I will gladly listen to your words, but first I have an urgent matter to take care of, if you would excuse me. »**

He got up and bowed in sign of respect, then he walked towards the small door at the back of the Council Chamber when he passed in front of Laurelin, he gave her a long insistant look, hoping it would be enough for her to get the message.

Laurelin, who had been staring at her own hands in dismay instead of paying attention to what was happening around her, was so surprised by Thorin's decision that for a few seconds she just sat there, completely lost and flabbergasted, without knowing what to do with herself. Then Thorin disappeared behind the small door, and she understood at last that Thorin wanted her to follow him she hurried after him, feeling awkward and ungraceful compared to the other three women. Once she was out of the Council Chamber, she carefully closed the door after her, and the tears she had been holding back started flowing. She did her best to wipe them away with her sleeve before facing Thorin, and hid her distress behind a mask of composure.

 **« My King... ? »** She asked, wondering why in Mahal's name he had interrupted the audience when there were so many Dwarves still waiting for their turn to talk to ther King. Had she done something wrong, maybe ?

Thorin, who knew her too well to be fooled by her composed attitude, wanted nothing but to hug her and hold her tight in his arms.

 **« Don't be worried, please. »** He said reassuringly. **« You've done wonderfully with all the Dwarves I have met so far. »**

She still didn't look him in the eyes.

 **« Laurelin ? »** He called softly. **« Please, look at me. Don't act as if you were all right, when it is so obvious you are not. »** She didn't answer, so he tried to guess why she was so upset. **« Did... did somebody say something mean or insulting to you ? »**

She looked up at him at last, but no word came out of her tight throat.

But now that Thorin could look her in the eyes, it took him but a moment to understand.

 **« I don't care about pretty dresses and powdered faces and expensive jewels. »** He told her wirh warm, kind smile. **« These things mean nothing. The only thing that it truly important is not the appearance of a person, but what she is worth. What she has in her heart. And you, Laurelin – you are worth more than any other women in Erebor and in the whole Middle-Earth. You have no reason to feel inferior to anyone. »** He paused, then he added with a slightly mischievous sparkle in his eyes : **« Besides, even without fancy dresses or jewels, you are still prettier than them. By far. »**

Tears rolled down Laurelin's cheeks again as she heard those words who went straight to her heart. Yet it was not enough to soothe her, because she knew she was right. No matter what Thorin said, she just knew it. It's woman like that he needed at his side, if he wanted to be a great King like his father and grand-father. A woman who looks like a real queen. Not a lowborn kitchen scullion with dirty hands and hair as a horse's mane. Deep down she knew she was exaggerating, she knew she wasn't _that_ bad, but when she compared herself to the beauties she had just met moments earlier, she couldnt help but loathe her own appearance.

Yet she couldn't say all these things to Thorin, because she didn't want his pity – so she just stood in front of him, toying nervously with the hem of her sleeve.

 **« Did... Did I say something wrong ? »** He asked, suddenly looking ill at ease as well. He couldn't understand why she looked even sadder after he had tried to comfort her. Any woman would have been pleased to hear herself called pretty, so why was Laurelin crying ? **« If I hurt you in any way, please forgive me. It was not my intent. I just wanted to help you feel a little better, but bviously I'm not very good at it... »**

He had said those last words in a joking voice, to try and brighten up the atmosphere a bit, but here again he faild to make her smile.

So he just opened his arms and hugged her against his chest, as he had laready done so many times before. As usual, he felt his heart beat faster as her soft weight pressed against his body.

 **« I truly meant every word that I told you. »** He said in a low voice. **« Everything I told you was true. You really are worth more than any other woman, and you really are prettier than the three giggling porcelain dolls out there. »**

 **« Thank you. »** She whispered into his shoulder. **« Thank you for being so kind and for doing your best to reassure me. »** Then she continued in a more formal voice, because this was the only way for her to keep some sort of control over her emotions. **« But now that you are the King Under the Mountain, you will need to marry and produce heirs for your line. The women out there... Well, they are exactly what you need. It's the kind of woman you should turn to now, instead of being here with me. »**

Overwhelmed by grief, she couldn't say any more. The idea that Thorin would soon turn away from her to live with another woman was excruciating she would miss their evenings together, she would miss working with Thorin in the forge, she would miss his smiles and his voice, she would miss everything. She had lost him and she knew it, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to change anything about it. **« I shouldn't even be here with you, holding you back from an opportunity to meet other women. »** She said at least, before slipping out of Thorin's grip.

Thorin felt hurt by her words as much as by her reaction. Now is the moment to tell her how you feel, yet his mouth betrayed him and no words came to his mind.

 _Who would have guessed it is so hard to tell a woman I love her ?_

 **« I cannot imagine turning away from you, or living with another one than you. »** He told her truthfully. « **I loved the bond we shared when we lived under the same roof, in the Blue Mountains. King or not, I don't want to give up on it. »** He took a deep breath, knowing it would take more than this to reassure her completely. **« Laurelin, these women out there... I don't care about them... I don't care about** ** _any_** **other woman in Erebor... They are my subjects, so of course I repect them as such, and I will do my best to be a good king to them – but there will never be more. Besides, I... well, I am a King now, and I wear a crown, and all the dreams of revenge I made after Smaug's attack so many years ago... all my dreams came true... Erebor is ours again... But there is something I want to tell you today : all this... »** He lifted his arms at the high ceiling that was lost in darnkess. **« All this is nothing compared to the moments whe share together. The crown or the glory are worth nothing compared to your smile, because this is what makes me truly happy : your smile. And your laughter. And your presence at my side, quite simply. »**

Laurelin, who had stepped away from him earlier, now took a step towards him again. Without thinking, she rested one of her hands on his forearm. She looked up at him, and saw in his eyes that he was telling nothing but the truth. Suddenly the tears were gone from her own eyes, and they started shining with emotion. A shy little smile stretched her think pink lips as she took one of Thorin's hands in both her own hands she stroked his fingers, very timidly.

 **« If such is your desire, I will never leave your side. »** She promised him fervently. **« I loved the life we shared in the Blue Mountains, too. I didn't want it to end, but I thought... I just thought... Now that you are a King... »**

Thorin closed his bing fingers around Laurelin's hand.

 **« You've been here for me from the very first day. »** Thorin told her fondly. **« But I want you to know that I am here for you, too. I am here to help you if you need it, and to stay at your side for as long as you will want me to be there. »**

 _And I am here to love you, too..._ He thought, but once more the words refused to come out.

He looked at her and was relieved as he saw that she didn't look sad anymore.

Their hands and fingers still intertwined, Laurelin bowed deeply in front of him to show him her respect and gratitude. Her eyes were shining with tenderness, and Thorin noticed – but not for the first time – that they were not merely dark brown. There were tiny sparkles of gold and green and cinnamon brown in them, too. They were like a beautiful painting. He wanted nothing but to get lost in them.

 **« My King... »** She said, as she had already done so many times before in her years of living with Thorin – yet this time it was different. There was something in her voice, something in the tone she had used. It was more affectionate, almost intimate.

Thorin felt a long shiver run down from his neck to the bottom of his back. He couldn't get his eyes off her.

 _My queen..._ He thought, but he knew that if he blurted these two words out just like that, she would probably not understand. He tried to find something else to say, but his mind was too dizzy to come up with something clever so he said nothing. They shared a long, deep look.

After a while, it was Laurelin herself who encouraged Thorin to go back to his kingly duties. She knew that everything was still knew to the Dwarves who had arrived the day before they would have to get reaccustomed to Erebor, and they would have to get reaccustomed to Thorin, whom they had not seen in more than two years. Making a bad impression so quickly after his people had return would not be a very good way to start his reign – and Laurelin certainly didn't want to be the reason why he failed to fulfill his duties.

When Thorin returned into the Council Chamber, everybody stared at him and Laurelin. Balin's smile was kind, as usual, but the three women in expensive dresses were scrutinizing her in a rather unpleasant way, as if they were trying to guess what had happened between her and the King.

 **« Please excuse this interruption. »** Thorin said amiably, as he sat down on his massive chair. Laurelin sat next to him. **« I am all ready now to listen to you, young ladies. »**

He gave them a smile, but a very polite and formal one. Then he listened to them as they thanked him for retaking Erebor, and for allowiing them all to return to their homeland. They talked about everlasting gratitude, but behind their sweet word, Thorin guessed they wanted much more than just talking to the King. They had not decided to wear their prettiest gowns just to share a few words with him their intent was clear enough, yet Thorin couldn't blame them. Kings had always been – and would always be - greatly prized targets. Every woman dreamed to enraputre the heart of the men who held the destiny of their people in his hands. But their simpering airs and their lascivious glares had no effect whatsoever on Thorin the only woman that mattered to him was Laurelin. She was the only one who was more than a mere Dwarf woman amongst other, more than a mere subject. She was his Laurelin, his queen, his love. Thorin cursed himself for his lack of courage : if he had told her about his feelings and made their relationship official at once, such en embarrassing situation would never have happened.

 **« Thank you for your gratitude. »** He said in a kind voice, but at the same time he decided to make things clear once and for good. He rested his hand on Laurelin's so that everybody could see it. From the corner of his eye, he saw a small smile on Balin's lips, but he didn't pay his old friend much attention. He was staring at the three women, to make sur they got the message. When he saw their crestfallen faces, he knew they had understood, and that they would probably spread the message as soon as they would be out of the Council Chamber.

Laurelin was utterly surprised by this unexpected contact. She watched Thorin's big scarred hand over her own, then she looked at Thorin himself. He was staring at the three women, but once they were gone his eyes went back to Laurelin and searched her own eyes. It's at this very moment that she understood he had feelings for her : feelings that had nothing to do with the relationship between a master and his servant, or even the relationship between two friends. It was as if her heart exloded with joy. So many feelings were racing in her head, but the thing that prevailed over everything else was the pride she felt as she realized Thorin had put his hand on her... in front of everybody ! The idea that Thorin was not ashamed of her – or better – that he was actually _proud_ of her... it sent fire racing through her veins, and suddenly she felt as if she had been struck by ligntning, full to bursting with energy. Every inch of her skin was tickling. She smiled tenderly at Thorin, and savoured the sweetness of this moment. All the sadness, the despair and the self-loathing she had felt moments earlier were gone, now. Everything was perfect, and Laurelin had never felt so good before.

Thorin spent the rest of the morning and aa great part of the afternoon listening to one dwarf after the other men and women, old and young, rich or poor, they all came to him with their gratitude and their encouragements and their faith in him. Some of them had tales to tell, and Thorin listened raptly to their stories, feeling their pains and their joys as if it were his own. Laurelin couldn't keep her eyes off him he looked so tall, so majestic, so regal. A true King under the Mountain.

Thorin himself, behind his mask of politeness and interest, wanted nothing but to run away from this place with Laurelin. Be alone with her. Get lost in her eyes once more. Put his hand in her hair. Watch her smiles and her sift freckles and the dimples at the corner of her mouth. Keep her for himself to the end of times. But of course he knew it was impossible, so he did his best to hide his impatience and restlessness. He did his best to be a good king, like his father and his grand-father before him. The fact that Laurelin was sitting next to him, of course, made all this more bearable. At least she was close to him.

The sun was already close to the horizon when they were finished at last. Even if Thorin had done nothing but sitting in his chair all day, he was as exhausted as if he had sparred with Dwalin. He was glad to retire to his chambers, and even more glad that Laurelin went with him.

There would be festivities tonight, to celebrate the return of the Dwarves to Erebor, so Thorin decided to start preparing himself. It would not do for the King to be late, or to be the last one to arrive in the Great Hall.

As Laurelin used to do in the Blue Mountains, she helped him with his bath. It was pleasant and comforting to fall back in the old routine, as if no time had passed at all – as if they had never been separated.

But after a moment, somehow, Thorin started to feel a bit ill at ease. For one because Laurelin was not his servant anymore, and her place was not here, assisting him as if she were still his maid and then there was also the fact that he loved her, now. Her touch was making him feel things he had never felt when she used to help him with the bath in the Blue Mountains. The sensations in themselves were pleasant – it made his heart jolt with happiness – but it was also making everything a bit awkward. Bathing in front of a friend was one thing, but bathing in front of the woman you love was a whole different thing. Once he had undressed, he slipped into the water as quickly as possible, trying his best to hide his flushed and burning cheeks.

Laurelin took the time to warm her hands in front of the fire before washing Thorin, because she knew how unpleasant it was to be touched by cold hands. She washed Thorin's arms and shoulders first, then his back, in slow and regular circles. Her touch was firm but soft, as usual. Thorin had his eyes closed, and sometimes he sighed deeply as she rubbed his skin.

When she was finished washing him, she poured warm water over his shoulders to wash the soap off his skin. Thorin let out a small, almost inaudible moan of contentment.

A few moments later, when he stood up and stepped out of the tub, he quickly covered the lower half of his body behind his towel. Laurelin had turned away from him, out of respect for his privacy, yet being naked in her company would have felt awkward all the same. As soon as he was dry he slipped into his trousers.

Laurelin helpd him with the small golden buttons on his shirt and jerkin, then she helped him braiding his hair. She would have loved to braid and adorn his beard, too, but Thorin still wore it shirt and trimmed.

 **« In memory of those who died here so many years ago. »** He said simply, when he saw her questioning look.

When he was ready at last, Laurelin couldn't help but admire him. He was truly gorgeous. She was about to leave his bedroom when he called her back.

 **« Laurelin ? I would love it if you stood at my side during the feast, if you don't mind... ? »** He asked in a very affectionate voice.

 **« Nothing would make me more happy ! »** She answered fervently, feeling her heart race in her chest.

Thorin smiled happily at her.

 **« You know what I want you to do, now ? »** He continued, very softly. **« Go to your chambers. Whatever you wanted to do before the feast, don't do it. Work will wait till tomorrow. Ask one of the serving girls to prepare you a bath. Take the time to soak in the warm water, and to take care of yourself, and to enjoy a long moment of quiet before facing all the population of Erebor tonight. I want you to be relaxed and at ease tonight, so that everybody can see this wonderful smile on your face. »**

Elated, Laurelin decided to go and see Dwna and to buy herself the pretty dress she had often dreamt of, before coming back to Erebor. She used the money he had given her back part of her felt guilty to spend these coins on something as futile as a dress, but another part of herself wanted to shine tonight. Of course the dress was a humble one – nothing excessively luxuous or pretentious. It was made of silk and lace, and it fit wonderfully to her slender silhouette. It was simple but beautiful discreet but elegant. The colours – white and lavender and plum purple – went well with Laurelin's pale complexion. Then Laurelin also bought herself a pair of new shoes, of soft black leather, because her old pair was worn threadbare and not fit for the woman standing next to the King.

When she came back to her room, it was too late for a bath but she took the time to wash herself with perfumed soap before donning her new clothes. She also braided her long, light brown hair. Not the usual, simple braids whe wore when she was working, of course. She had chosen te braid it in a more elaborate and more sophisticated fashion, with white and lavender ribbons that matched her dress. But as much as she wanted to be pretty for Thorin, she chose to stay as natural as possible no powders to colour her cheeks, no glittering jewels. The only exception was Thorin's wooden necklace, resting proudly on the top of her cleavage.

Once she was finsished, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. For a fleeting moment she she compared herself to the women she had seen during the morning, but then she remembered Thorin's words and suddenly she realized that she actually liked what she saw in the mirror.

She took a deep breath, then she left her bedroom.

Thorin was already waiting for her in the corridor. She looked at him, and she smiled as she saw the look of utter surprise on his face. He had never seen her dressed up like that, but obviously he liked what he saw because suddenly a wide smile stretched his lips. His eyes sparkled as if they had been full of shiny jewels. Then he smiled tenderly, and from the smile Laurelin drew the courage to face the stares of the whole population of Erebor.

When they both arrived in the Great Hall of Erebor, many Dwarves had already gathered there, and all the heads turned to look at them. Soon Thorin was swept away from Laurelin by the crowd, and she encouraged him to spend time with his people they had been deprived of a King for too long, he should be present for them tonight. Laurelin found a few other women she had befriended during the journey, and they chattered and laughed together like a group of silly little girls. Yet Thorin was never far from her she watched him and enjoyed to see him again, after his long absence. She also liked the moments when he looked back at her, and they shared a smile of complicity. It happened quite often, to be honest – too often to be a mere coincidence – so after a while Laurelin wondered if Thorin was seeking her out among the crowd just like she was seeking him out. She was glad that their old bond was still there the frienship and easy companionship they had shared in the Blue Mountains were stronger than ever, now.

As for Thorin, he escaped his duties as often as he could to join Laurelin they never had much time together, just long enough to share a few words and a smile, but it was still better than nothing. Laurelin was truly splendid tonight, and not only because of her dress, but also because she radiated joy and happiness. It made her eyes glow like a pair of candles. and the light of the many torches was reflecting on her light brown hair. Her face was really pretty, with round cheeks, full lips and soft freckles over her nose. It was hard for Thorin to tear his eyes away from her, and he liked nothing better than these moments when she looked up at him and smiled because she realized he was looking at her already. The idea that Laurelin was keeping her eyes on him gave him funny shivers all over his body.

An hour after they had arrived, several dozens of servants, men and women, brought the food. They put it on the longest table Laurelin had ever seen. They brought every kind of food possible and imaginable : meat dripping with mushroom sauce and slabs of tender smoked fish, perfumed vegetables and ripe fruits bursting with juice and sugar, loaves of bread still warm from the oven, cakes and pastries stuffed with rich butter cream, kegs of spiced wine from the southlands and iced drinks to cool off those who were too hot from dancing. Of course, everybody had been invited to this giant buffet, no matter their origins : some Dwarves were wearing clothes barely better than rags, and others had jewels in their adorned beards, but for once they all seemed to get along fine as they rejoiced together.

At some point Thorin saw Laurelin get up from her chair to dance with another Dwarf woman Thorin didn't know she was strong and stout, with a softly lady-beard covering the lower half of her face, but Thorin's eyse didn't rest on her for more than a fleeting moment. They were immediately draw to Laurelin. He wondered who had taught her to dance like that, and why she had never told him that she liked danceing – because it was obvious she enjoyed herself. And the fact that she was dancing with a woman reassured him, too. If she had danced with a man he would have been unable to stop himself from being suspicious, but now he saw nothing but two women having fun and laughing together, and this sight warmed his heart. Even when people came to talk to him, he kept his eyes on her while talking. He couldn't keep himself from smiling even whe he realized how stupid he must look, smiling like an idiot as he was sitting alone in his corner, he couldn't stop.

Several women asked for a dance with him, but he declined all their offers. Usually he liked dancing, but tonight he felt like watching Laurelin was enough to make him happy. Besides, Laurelin was busy with sombody else already, and he didn't want to disturb her, and he couldn't imagine dancing with any other women, no matter how pretty or charming she was. Laurelin was truly the only one who interested him. Never before had he seen her having fun in such a relaxed atmosphere, laughing with other people and enjoying herself. It was a side of her he didn't know yet, so he was eager to see more of it.

Laurelin had just left the dance floor to have a drink with her friend when suddenlt Bilbo appeared in the Great Hall as if by magic. Thorin was susprised to see him – was he not supposed to be in Dale, with Bard and his children ? - but also very pleased. He had grown truly fond of the Hobbit, and was impatient to introduce him to Laurelin. He was curious to see how they would both react so he stood up from his chair at once and greeted Bilbo with a long hug.

In truth, the Hobbit had not seemed to eager to go back to this Shire he had missed so much in the beginning. _I have changed..._ He had told Thorin one day. _And I don't know if the world I came from will still be enough for me, now that I have seen what lies beyond._ So he had stayed here all the while, going from Erebor to Dale and then to Erebor again, constantly talking about the Shire and about the home he had left behind, but never making any move to get back there. Even if Thorin had never said so aloud, he was glad that Bilbo was still here.

 **« Thorin ! »** the Hobbit exclaimed with a friendly smile. **« I've come back here as soon as I heard the Dwarves were back ! »** Then he looked around and nodded slowly, looking a bit awkward with his big hairy feet and his strange clothes. **« Now you are truly a king, »** he said with a beaming smile, looking up adoringly at Thorin.

A proud smile lit up Thorin's face.

 **« A king, yes. »** He said quietly. **« But I still habe to prove to them that I am worthy of this title. »**

 **« You did that long ago. »** Bilbo told him with confidence. **« You did that when you stood up to Smaug, and when you faces Azog's armies, and when you killed the Pale Orc. You prouve yourself a qworthy king by retaking the lands of your ancestors. »**

 **« I proved myself a worthy warrior. »** Thorin corrected him. **« But not a king. Not yet. Now comes the time to bring back this mountain to its former prosperity, and to make it thrive like it did under my grand-father's rule. »**

They chatted for a while, before they were interrupted by a flock of curious Dwarves who wanted to have a look at the famous Hobbit and who asked Thorin an awful lot of questions. Bilbo felt ill at ease to be stared at like that, and Thorin semed to understand his trouble he sent Bilbo away under the pretense of fetching him a cup of wine, and Bilbo was grateful for this chance to slip away from the general attention. He found himself a quiet corner, where he could watch everything without being seen.

Laurelin caught his attention before he even knew who she was. It was her beardless face that struck Bilbo all the others were wearing soft womanly beards adorned with braids and jewels, but this one woman here had a face as smooth as a baby's. It raised his curiosity. Maybe this woman was beardless for a special reason ? Maybe it meant something special ? He had spent many months in company of the Dwarves, after the Battle of Five Armies, yet there was still a lot he didn't know about them. He didn't want to make a blunder by ignoring somebody important, or by talking to her in an inappropriate way. He was about to ask Thorin about her when suddenly he realized that ther King's eyes were already upon her. He was nodding to another Dwarf's words, but his eyes were fixed upon the beardless woman.

And this is how Bilbo understood who she was.

 _So this must be the woman Thorin spoke about in LakeTown..._ He realized.

This suspicion was confirmed when he saw the carved pendant around her neck, but even without that he would have been able to guess. Is was pretty obvious, in truth. Bilbo had heard enough about her from Thorin's mouth, and he knew the King would not look at any other woman with such adoration in his eyes. Curious, Bilbo scrutinized her once more. She was pretty, even to Bilbo's eyes. In fact, she was prettier to Bilbo's eyes than any other women, precisely becasue she didn't have a beard. As much as the Hobbit loved and respected the Dwarves, he found it unsettling to see women with beards. Laurelin had round soft cheeks, and light brown freckles on her nose. Her hair was artfully braided, yet it still looked more natural than the hair of most other women. She was sitting with two other Dwarf-women who were obviously her friends, and they were lauging together. Her smile was frank and genuine, and her hands fluttered as she spoke, like a pair of pink butterflies.

 _So here's the woman who captured Thorin's soul,_ he mused.

Physically he hadn't expected her to look like that – he had expected a more classical looking Dwarf-woman – but her personality seemed to be exactly as he had imagined it : friendly, joyful and kind.

A few moments later, Thorin was standing at Bilbo's side. The Hobbit hadn't heard him coming, with all that noise in the Great Hall.

 **« So what do you have to say about her, Master Burglar ? »** Thorin asked with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, when he saw that Bilbo was staring at Laurelin.

Bilbo blushed violently and looked at his big feet.

 **« I, uh... I wouldn't pretend to... »** He cleared his throat. **« I am in no position to  
judge or to... »**

Thorin chuckled softly.

 **« Come with me. »** He ordered in a falsely stern voice, his heavy hand falling on Bilbo's frail shoulder. immediately understood what Thorin had in his mind.

 **« Oh no, Thorin. No, no... »** He stammered when he understood Thorin's intentions. **« I'm just going to stay her and drink a cup of wine and then... »**

 **« Come with me. »** Thorin repeated, pulling Bilbo forwards by the shoulder with an impish smile on his lips.

When they reached the table where Laurelin was seated – alone, now, since her friend had just left her to get some food - Bilbo tried to bow in front of her, but he was so nervous that he made a mess of it. Great. Now I've made a fool of myself on top of everything else.

 **« Laurelin, allow me to introduce you to Bilbo, the brave little Hobbit who's been our companion during the perilous journey. »** Thorin said in a deep voice. **« His bravery has no equal anywhere in the world. It's thanks to him that I am still alive. »**

Bilbo's cheeks turned as red as a beetroot when Laurelin's doe eyes fell on him.

 **« L... Lady Laurelin... »** he muttered nervously. **« It is an honor to meet you. »**

Thorin smiled proudly as he hard Bilbo call her 'lady'. No matter how humble her birth was, this title suited her well.

 _And when she will be my Queen, everybody will call her a lady._

He smiled as he imagined this future, and Laurelin smiled back at him.

 **« I am not a lady, Master Baggins. »** She replied in an humble and polite voice. **« It is an honor to meet you. »** She added, before bowing deeply in front of him. **« I have heard many stories about you and your deeds, since I've come to Erebor. You have my deepest gratitude for watching over our beloved King, and for saving his life several times. »** She said, before sharing a long look with Thorin.

The words 'beloved King' made his heart beat faster, yet he did his best to keep his composure in front of Laurelin and Bilbo.

Thorin wondered who told her about Bilbo's deeds, and he suspected Balin. But he was glad that the tales of Bilbo's bravery spread, because the Hobbit deserved as much recognition as Thorin himself. He couldn't help but smile as he saw them talk to each other. It was like two worlds colliding his old life with Laurelin, and his new life in Erebor wit Bilbo at his side. It was a strange feeling, but it was definitely very pleasant to have these two persons he loved so much standing in front of him at the same time.

Bilbo wondered if Thorin had already opened up to her about the feelings he had for her. They seemed to be very close indeed, yet Bilbo still felt that that there were unspoken things between them.

 **« Maybe I should just leave the two of you alone so you can enjoy your reunion. »** He suggested, but escaping the King was not an easy task. Thorin insisted that Bilbo sat down with him and Laurelin, and they talked for a long while Laurelin, who was shy at first, soon relaxed in Bilbo's presence and started asking him all sorts of questions about the quest and the heroic deeds everybody said the Hobbit had achieved. Bilbo tried to answer as best as he could, but he had never been particularly at ease in the company of women, and the fact that she was Thorin's love interest made it all worse. She's not just whatever woman, she's somebody important. He felt the desperate need to give her decent answers, yet most of the times he was so nervous that he kept stammering. _What if she thinks I'm an idiot ?_ Yet she never mocked him, or looked at him weirdly. She just listened raptly to each of his words, and gave him kind smiles whenever she felt he needed encouragement. After a while, Bilbo realized he truly liked her.

Thorin was watching them both, happy to see them getting along so fine. At this very moment he felt like life was absolutely perfect.

The festivities lasted for hours as soon as the plates were emptied, some serving girl filled them again with fresh loads of food. The music and the songs became louder and louder as the Dwarves wallowed down pint after pint of golden beer, and everybody was flushed from the heat and the laughter.

Laurelin hadn't laughed so much for a very long time she had greatly enjoyed her encounter wit Thorin's little Hobbit friend – he was so small, so strange, and at the same time so cute. His disproportionate feet were covered with thick curly hairs, which made him look a bit funny, but Thorin had told her later that all thre Hobbits had feet like that. Anyways, she was glad she had met Bilbo. At first he had been so shy, but after a while he had relaxed and he had told her countless storis about what had heppened during the quest for Erebor she learned a lot of things about Thorin, about what his daily life had been like, and she liked the way Bilbo talked about him. He truly saw Thorin as somebody worthy of admiration, if not of worship.

It was so late some would have called it early morning when the Dwarves started leaving the Great Hall in groups of three or four, still laughing. As soon as the hall was almost empty, Thorin found Laurelin and told her he was about to leave.

 **« I'm coming with you. »** She said, smiling. Some of her braids had slipped out of their pins, and strands of light brown hair were dancing around her face, making her look prettier  
than ever.

Thorin slowly shook his head.

 **« I can manage on my own, if you want to stay a little while longer. »** He assured her. **« I see your friend is still here, and I am sure you will loathe leaving her alone. »** He smiled. **« Stay, and have fun till you are so exhausted you can barely stand on your feet. »**

 **« I am tired. »** She insisted. **« I had been about to leave anyways, when you came talking to me. »**

 **« All right, then. Let's leave... »**

They left the Great Hall together. Thorin tried to imagine himself walking hand in hand with her, but he never really had the time to get lost in these sweet reveries, because the corridors were full of Dwarves on thei way back to their homes. Most of them were more than a bit drunk, but Thorin still felt the need to greet them and to say a few words.

But at least Laurelin was walking beside him. Sometimes they looked at each other and they both smiled, enjoying each other's company.

When Thorin reached his bedchamber, he invited her to enter and to have a few last words with her before going to sleep. In truth he hated the idea of having to part from her, so he tried to make it last as long as possible.

 **« You looked very lovely tonight. »** He told her very sincerely, trying not to blush. **« And I'm not talking about your dress – well, it is beautiful, of course – but not even half as beautiful as your smile, or the sparkles of happiness in your eyes... »** He couldn't stop watching her. He lifted on hand to stroke her cheek, very softly. **« I saw you dance with this friend of yours. I... You are a very good dancer. It was wonderful to see you having fun. »**

Laurelin was so taken aback by this compliment **–** and his gentle touch – that she didn't know what to answer.

 **« Thank you, my King. »** She just muttered, feeling slightly flushed.

After that they talked for a short while about how it felt to be back in Erebor, and he made sure Laurelin had everything she needed : They suddenly ran out of words. Thorin knew the moment he dreaded so much had come. He bid her good-night, and saw her nod respectfully in response.

 **« I won't need your help tonight. »** He added gently. « **You are tired, so please go to bed and rest. I will managed on my own. »**

He smiled at her, and she smiled back, and Thorin wished he would never ever have to leave her side again.

 **« Good night, Laurelin. »** He said.

 **« Good night, my King. »** She answered.

 _Good night, my Queen..._ He added silently, wishing he had the courage to say it aloud.


	27. OLD HABITS

The second day in Erebor was much quieter than the first one. All the Dwarves were still tired and a bit hungover after the late celebrations of the night before, so they all stayed to bed till the midday bells rang. Thorin made no exception. He couldn't even remember the last time he had slept so late, but even when he woke up at last he didn't feel rested. He decided he would not do much today. He was a King, of course, but even Kings needed a rest from their duties and responsibilities from time to time.

He spent the day walking through the halls and corridors of Erebor, checking is everything was alright, talking with people to see if they were satisfied with their new lives here, and writing several letters for important Dwarves from the Iron Hills.

That night, he decided to get to bed early. He had expected Laurelin to do the same, since she had looked rather tired all day, but to Thorin's greatest surprise she came to find him a few minutes before he went to bed.

 **« My King ? »** She said in a hopeful voice. **« You remember our evenings in the Blue Mountains, when we read together ? »**

 **« Of course, I do. »** Thorin replied gently.

 **« Well, I... I just miss it. And I wondered... Maybe we could start doing it again ? »** She suggested shyly, not sure that he would accept now that he was a true King, now that he had so much more responsibilities.

But her worries were unfounded.

A broad smile came to Thorin's face.

 **« Ah, yes... That would be wonderful, indeed. »** He said very sincerely. He looked genuinely happy, and Laurelin couldn't help but smile at him.

They went together to the small personal library in Thorin's room and they chose something together, a heavy leather-bound book with yellowed pages. It told the tales of Vahmâr the Brave, a Dwarf who had explored Middle-Earth long ago and written down everything he had experiences. His tales were full of heroic deeds and funny moments. Thorin and Laurelin had already read it together once, back in the Blue Mountains, but she really wanted to read it again and Thorin had no objections at all. They did not settle on a sheepskin on the floor, like they used to in the Blue Mountains now they had a soft little couch, with furs and blankets and coloured cusions. It was much more comfortable. The fire was roaring the keep the chill of this autmun night out of the room.

They didn't read for a very long time, since they were both tired, but they both enjoyed this moment of quiet together. Old habits were slowly coming back, even if they were now tinged with feelings Thorin did not feel last time they had read together - or maybe he had already felt them, without consciously knowing it ?

 _This was possible._ He reflected. Because when he tried to remember a particular moment when he had fallen in love with Laurelin, he couldn't find any. It was as if this love had always been there, from the earliest moments, but hidden behind high walls where even Thorin couldn't see it.

They both went to bed early, but the next day it lasted much longer since they were both better rested. They read sevral chapters together.

And the day after it had already become an habit. Doing soemthing else during their evenings became unthinkable.

 **« It's so good to spend my evenings with you again. »** He told her after several days, when Laurelin had opened the book on her lap. He was smiling as he grabbed one corner of the book. They had barely smiled, though, when he got up again.

 **« Wait a minute...** » He said. He walked into his kitchen, and came out with a bowl of sugar-coated hazelnuts.

Then they started reading, but from time to time one or another hand came to pick up a hazelnut in the bowl. They were sweet and crunchy, just perfect. And sometimes, too : Their hands brushed against each other when they both reached into the bol at the same moment. Everytime this happened : Thorin blushed slightly and removed his own hand, to let Laurelin get her nut first but he also enjoyed these unexpected contacts that gave him shivers of excitement.

Most of the times, it was Laurelin who ended the readings whe she grew too tired to continue. Sometimes she wished Thorin a good-night and left him till next morning, and then Thorin couldn't help but feel utterly dejected without her, but most of the times she came back to him after washing and putting on her nightclothes she was then welcomed by a beaming smile on Thorin's face. It was pretty obvious he had wanted nothing but to see her again before going to bed, no matter how late it was. They settled on the coucha again, not necessarily to read some evenings when their eyes had grown tired from reading too much, they just sat together to talk and to enjoy each other's presence. Thorin loved to see her like that, wrapped in a warm blanket with her long brown hair untied. He also liked to see her in her nightclothes, because it was cozy and it was the proof she truly felt comfortable in his presence. She always looked serene and relaxed, so cute and lovely. He couldn't stop looking at her, to engrave every detail in his memory, because he wanted to remember her like that to the end of his life.

One evening, when Laurelin was too tired after a long day, she still went to read with Thorin – because every excuse to be close to him was good to take – but then she fell asleep on the couch, almost in his arms.

Thorin watched her slowly succumb to sleep first he saw her eyelids grow heavier and heavier, till they finally closed over her eyes. He smiled and got off the couch to give her more room, trying to be as silent as possible. He knew she had had a long day and she needed to rest, so he didn't want to disturb her. He cleared off the empty bowl of nuts and put it back in the kitchen, but it slipped out of his hands and clanged against the floor. Laurelin stirred in her sleep and Thorin cursed himself for being so clumsy.

 **« Laurelin ? »** He whispered softly, brushing her hand with the tip of his fingers.

But her sleep was deeper than he had expected, and the only response he got from her was a feeble squeezing of her fingers when she felt Thorin's hand against her own.

He smiled fondly at her, then he entwined his fingers to hers more closely. This time the contact was firmer, and it woke up Laurelin. Her gaze fell imediately on their linked hands Thorin blushed slightly and started to remove his fingers, like a child caught doing something forrbidden, but then he remembered he was no child anymore : He was free now to do whatever he wanted, and what he wanted right now was to keep holding Laurelin's hand. And so he did. His thumb came to stroke Laurelin's fingers very gently, very softly.

 **« I think it's time for you to go to bed. »** He told her, almost shyly, with a fond smile. His face was slightly flushed and his eyes were shining unusually bright, and Laurelin guessed that the contact they were sharing didn't leave him indifferent at all.

Laurelin blushed too, and felt her cheeks grow hotter. She removed her hand, but very slowly, very reluctantly and just before the contact stopped, she brushed his fingers one last time, with a shy and nervous smile.

She stretched and got up, then she waited to see if Thorin still needed her.

 **« Thank you for spending the evening with me, even thoug you were so tired. »** He said kindly, with a timid smile. He was not used to being in such a situation. **« But there's no point in forcing yourself to do something when your body craves sleep so badly. You need to rest... So please go back to your chambers now, and sleep till tomorrow. Will you ? »**

His smile was a bit shy and hesitant, but it was obvious he was happy to be with her, even in such a moment.

Laurelin smiled back at him, then she bowed and wished him a good-night in an affectionate voice. Her eyes were still a bit sleepy, but sparkling with happiness. Thorin felt a pang of deep affection for her as he realized how much she cared for him, too he didn't know if she oved him like he loved her, but there was definitely something. He suddenly felt very warm from the inside, and this warmth slowly spread throughout his whole body, from the tips of his finger to his small toe. It was a wonderful feeling, and even when Laurelin was gone he kept smiling fondly as he stared at the dark walls surrounding his bed.

But spending his evenings with Laurelin was still not enough for Thorin. He also sought out her presence during the day, whenever he had some free time between his duties.

Even if officially Laurelin was still Thorin's servant, her workload had become lighter now that they lived in Erebor, because she could now delegate some of her tasks to other servants instead of washing Thorin's clothes herself, she just put them in a wicker basket and brought it to the washing girls instead of cleaning Thorin's bedroom herself, she could now rely on a whole squad of serving girls who were in charge to keep every chamber in Erebor clean. Of course, Laurelin kept cooking for Thorin, because she knew how much he liked the meals she prepared for him but when she had no time for these tasks – because she was busy doing something else for Thorin, like finishing to write an important letter or running errands for him – Thorin just found himself one of the numerous cooks who had settled in Erebor, and they were always happy to please their King by preparing him their finest recipes.

Laurelin loved to spend that free time taking care of Thorin and being particularly full of small attentions for him, but very often Thorin encouraged her to spend this time for herself, when she had nothign specific to do for him. In these moments, she wandered through the corridors of Erebor, remembering what they had looked like before Smaug's attack and wondering why everything looked so different now, even those parts that the dragon had not damaged. Everything was still exactly the same, yet it felt strange and foreign, as if it were a place she had never visited before. After a few days, though, she realized that it was not the place who had changed, but herself : she had fled Erebor as a shy little girl, and now she had come back as a woman. She had gained in expreience and maturity, and seeing things with different eyes made them look different ev en though they had not changed. It was a strange feeling, but somehow Laurelin enjoyed to rediscover each part of their kingdom.

When the weather was fine, she also left the reassuring walls of Erebor to take strolls outside, gorging on sun and light and fresh air. The ponies were not made to live in the heart of a mountain, so they were stabled outside, in a low building of stone – and Laurelin loved to visit Thorin's brave little beast. He was shaggy and hairy, with a big head and dark eyes, but his dark bay coat shone in the sunlight. He was also very friendly, and after a few days he knew Laurelin well he loved to nibble at her pockets, in the hope of finding something tasty in them.

Laurelin also loved to take off her shoes and to walk barefoot in the grass of the meadows surrounding Erebor it made her feel wonderfully free and happy, as if by some magic she had turned into a carefree little girl again. Sometimes she felt guilty for wasting so much time in useless pleasures, but Thorin always encouraged her to keep doing those things she loved.

 **« Why do you think we reconquered Erebor, if not for our folk to enjoy our lives ? »** He had asked her the day she had told him about having so much free time she didn't know what to do with herself anymore. **« And you, Laurelin – you more than anybody else, you deserve to be happy now. »**

Thorin really like the idea that her life was easier now. Yet there was also one negative aspect to all this : she was often far away from him. So he had to seek her out if he wanted to spend time with her he didn't need a particular reason, no, most of the times he just wanted to be in her company, or at least to see her from afar. Sometimes they just talked about everything and nothing for a while, before going different ways again. And sometimes, when Thorin had already visited her like that several times during the same day, he devised a good excuse to come to her once more whether some question about something she had told him earlier, or a new task for her to do, or anything that crossed his mind at the moment.

In truth, being a King was not as easy as some seemed to think : Thorin had duties and obligations all day long, and seomtimes he even had to work late into the night. But he always knew taht if things became too overwhelming, he could find some comfort wth Laurelin. Her smile, her words and her presence were always enough to make him forget about his worries and his frustrations. She was the steady rock he could always rely on, and he knew it.

Sometimes he wondered what she thought about these encounters, or if she had guessed the true reasons that motivated Thorin to go to her so often, but he never asked her openly. The only thing he knew was that she never turned him down, and never made him feel like he wasn't welcome. She was always smiling and friendly and visibly happy to see him, and being with her just felt so good that Thorin couldn't resist.

Sometimes they also met by mere chance, when Thorin's duties led him near the places where Laurelin was busy doing whathever task she had to do for him. In this case, Thorin always took a few minutes to talk to her, and to give her a pleased smile. Of course he never lingered, because he didn't like the idea of interrupting her while she was working – and working for him, on top of everything else – but he always made sure that she felt how much he was happy to meet her, and to spend a few moments with her even if they both didn't have much time.

 **« I'll leave you alone, now. Or else you'll never finish what you were doing before I interrupted you. »** He always said, in a very gentle voice, so that she understood he didn't leave her because he _wanted_ to, but because he _had_ to.

And usually their encounter was over, after that.

One day, though, Laurelin had just finished buying food on the market and was about to walk back home when Thorin came her way unexpectedly, carrying an armful of old books.

 **« We found these in an old room. »** He explained her. **« The dragon had smashed some walls and this room was hidden behind a pile of boulders and debris, but now we've found a way to go inside. I'll bring them to Master Balin, to see if he might be able to restore them. »**

 **« Shall I help ? »** Laurelin suggested, and before Thorin had the time to answer she seized a stack of book and carried them into her own arms. The prospect of walking all the way to Balin's chambers with these mouldy – and heavy – books wasn't exactly rejoincing, but it was a good excuse to spend more time in his company.

 **« Are... Ae you sure ? »** He asked her, looking sincerely puzzled.

He knew Laurelin was always ready to help, but this was really not a pleasant task. Yet at the same time he was happy she had suggested this, because it would allow him to stay at her side if it had been up to him, he wouldn't have had the courage to ask for it, so he was glad Laurelin had taken the initiative. Yet he still took several of the books away from her, because he didn't want her to break her back carrying them on such a long distance.

They walked side by side in the dark corridors lit only by a few oil lamps at the walls. Thorin told her about the work going on in the lowest levels of Erebor, to restore the mines and the forges and to find new veins of of gold and iron and mithril. After a while, Thorin realized he had unconsciously gotten closer to Laurelin as they had walked, as if his body had been attracted to her like a magnet. He wondered if she had noticed, and what she thought about this attitude, yet she didn't show any sign of discomfort so he juste stayed where he was, walking closer to her than ever before. At one moment Laurelin stumbled over a rock on the floor, but Thorin deftly caught her by the arm and suddenly she ended up in his strong arms he kept her there for a moment, and wished he could actually keep her there for the rest of his life.

Laurelin looked away from Thorin, to hide her red and burning cheeks ; being so close to him, feeling his strong arms around her, was the strangest thing she had ever experienced, because it made her feel both blissfully happy and horribly awkward.

Then of course he had to let her go again, because the books she had been holding were nos scattered scattered on the floor, but Thorin didn't mind since this gave him a reason to kneel next to her and to make this task last even longer.

They reached Balin's chambers, but the old Dwarf was not here so they just put the books on the floor, in front of his door, with a quick note from Thorin.

And then came the moment Thorin had dreaded : the moment when they would have to separate again. Thorin, who was standing so close to Laurelin that he almost touched her, just moved his fingers a bit to stroke Laurelin's forearm.

 **« I'll see you later. »** He said, with a short nod. **« I hope you don't have too many tasks left to do, today ? »**

He was actually quite eager to be alone with her.

 **« Everything will be finished soon. »** She said with a smile.

She lifted her hand so her fingers could touch Thorin's they intertwined for the briefest of moments, no longer than a heartbeat, just long enough to sent sparks all over Thorin's body. He didn't know why she had done this, but he was happy about it all the same. He tried to find the answer in her eyes, but she had shyly looked away and was not staring at the ground, her cheeks slightly flushed from emotions.

 **« I... I need to go, now... »** He said very reluctantly.

Laurelin nodded, just as unwillingly. None of them wanted to see the other go, but they no longer had any reason to stay together.

In the end it was Laurelin who took the decision to leave first, to break the awkwardness of this moment.

And this is how two long weeks went by, made of stolen moments and fortuitous encounters throughout Erebor. By dint of spending so many moments together : They created new bonds between them, who came to consolidate those that already existed.

Thorin had not yet found the courage to talk to her about his true feelings, and he was still not sure about what she felt towards him, but he knew one thing : Whatever it was they were sharing right now, it was the best thing he had ever experienced in his life.


	28. SILENT DESIRE

When Thorin came home that night, Laurelin saw immediately that he was exhausted. He had spent his day outside, on horseback, travelling with the hunters he tried to hide it behind a mask of dignity and composure, yet Laurelin knew him well and she saw he was in pain. She could only imagine how sore he was, after spending the whole day riding in the sun. So when evening came she prepared a hearty dinner for him, and while he was eating she decided to prepare a bath for him. It would relax his muscles and soothe him, and he desperately needed both. And even if it was spring and the days were warm, she lit a fire in the hearth to make the temperature climb even higher in Thorin's bedroom, where he would bath.

When Thorin was finished with his dinner, he joined Laurelin and she walked out of the bedroom to give him privacy while he undressed. She waited a long time – longer than usual – and then suddenly she heard him curse and mutter in his beard. Curious, she entered to see if he needed help, and saw him in a very awkward position : he was still wearing his trousers, but he was barefoot and struggling with his white – but stained – linen shirt, that was currently recovering his head. Obviously, he had tried to remove it, but the button behind the neck was caught in his long black hair. Laurelin couldn't help but smile in amusement.

 _So here is Thorin Oakenshield, the mighty King Under the Mountain..._ She was sure no one else had ever seen him like that.

 **« My King... can I help you ? »** She asked, trying to keep her voice serious, but she failed.

Thorin's face partially emerged from the shirt, but the button was still entwined in his hair.

 **« Maybe a bit of help would he welcome, yes... »** He said jokingly, before laughing heartily at himself and at the awkward position he got himself into.

Laurelin took a few steps and suddenly realized she would have to get very close to him to help him. She blushed slightly, but she hoped that Thorin would think the flush came from the heat. She couldn't help but admire his broad back, and the muscles that moved just underneath the pale skin. Her cheeks grew even hotter. She had seen him naked quite often now, since she helped him with his bath almost every day, but it never left her indifferent to see him like that every time she saw his body it made her fingers tremble and her heart beat like mad in her chest.

Very delicately, she removed his hair from his back : it was long and thick, and very black (except for a few streaks of silver at his temples, that made him look even more regal). She did her best to not pull on them as she worked and to keep concentrated on her task, not on Thorin's naked back that she loved so much. The palms of her hands rested on his back, and her fingers brushed against his neck as she tried to undo the knot of hair that had tangled around the button. His skin was slightly sticky from the sweat of the day and filthy with dust, but she didn't even care.

Thorin was a bit surprised, at first, to feel her lean on him so heavily and to feel her warm skin against his back and neck, because he hadn't expected it. But once he had gotten used to this surprising – but pleasant – contact, he just felt his tense muscles relax. The annoyance he had felt towards his shirt flowed out of him, leaving him in a pleasant mood. He waited patiently till Laurelin was finished, trying not towince every time she tugged at his hair while she did her best to untangle the button.

As soon as Laurelin was done, she removed her hands from him and stepped back.

 **« You are free, my King. »** She told him gently.

Thorin removed the evil shirt at once and threw it into one corner of the bedroom, before straightening up and stretching his muscles. Laurelin, who was standing in front of him, did her best to stay modest while she watched him, but it was undeniable that the vision of Thorin's bare chest triggered something in her. She felt slightly dizzy, and she knew she would have to do something if she didn't want to betray herself – so she picked up Thorin's dirty clothes and walked out of the room with them, before putting them into the absket for the washing girls. Then she also prepared a set of new, warm clothes for Thorin, tu pot on after the bath.

When she entered into the bedroom again – after knocking – he was sitting in the tub. She handed him the soap, but this time she didn't allow herself to look at him any more than what was necessary. And then she walked away from the tub to give him privacy while he washed himself she stirred the fire with the iron hook, and hung the towel in front of the fire so it would be nicely warm for Thorin. When she was done with these small tass, she went back to him and rubbed his back, his shoulders, as she always did. She could sense how tense his msucles were, right underneath the skin. _What a hard day he must have had_... She reflected sadly. And then she also helped him wash his hair. It was thick and black, but also streaked with silver at the temples, now. Laurelin liked him like that, because it didn't make him look older – it made him just look more regal. A true King of Durin's line. First she poured some water over his hair, and she smiled when Thorin moaned in delight as the warm water ran over his chest and his back. Then she rubbed soap into his hair for a moment, very delicately, doing her best to not pull at his hair while she did so. When she was finished, she rinsed Thorin's head by pouring even more water onto it, till there was no soap left in his hair. And to finish, she filled one more cup, that she poured generously over his back and his chest, fore the mere pleasure of making him feel good and contented.

Once the bath was finished, he got up in his tub and Laurelin immediately looked away from him. She kept her eyes on her own shoes as she handed his the warm towel, yet somehow she still saw him from the corner of her eyes, stark naked just in front of her. She couldn't help but blush deeply.

Thorin grabbed the towel and smiled in amusement. She had assisted him in his bath so often, by now, but she still blushed every time. He found her shyness endearing, but since he didn't want to put her too ill at ease he quickly wrapped himself in the towel. It was divine to be cloaked in warm softness like that, particularly after such a long and dreadful day. Then he walked over to the fire, and dried himself slowly, appreciating this moment of quiet and comfort. Since he knew Laurelin was not looking at him – she was genuinely devoted to him, not like most other servants who would have taken advantage of this situation to spy on him as he was naked – he didn't take too much precautions to remain covered as he dried himself.

A few minutes later, when Thorin was dry, Laurelin heard him call her name.

 **« Laurelin, could you please give me my clothes now ? »** He asked gently, in his deep voice.

 **« Of course, my King. »** she said, nodding. When she came back to him with the night clothes in her arms, she saw him wince as he stretched and rolled his shoulders.

She handed him the comfortable linen trousers first, then she looked away once more while he slipped them on. Then she gave him the shirt, and at this moment their eyes locked for a short moment she understood at once that he was truly in pain, and was immediately overcome by worry. She knew he was strong, but even strong men could be tired and sore after a hard day.

Thorin stretched out his hand to grab the shirt, then suddenly he froze in mid-air. Laurelin frowned at him, surprised by such a reaction.

 **« Laurelin, would you... »** He cleared his throat and started again. **« Would you mind doing something to ease the pain in my back, my neck and my shoulders ? Today was a hard day, and more hard days will follow when I will travel with the hunters, and I would really appreciate it if you could help me soothe the pain, if only for a shirt moment. »**

Laurelin didnt know what he was talking about, exactly – soothe the pain, yes, but how ? What did he have in his mind ? He had never asked something like that before. She was looking at him and listening raptly, waiting for him to say more, but he remained silent and waited for her answer.

 **« I will do my best, my King. »** She said in a very soft and vulnerable voice, because she had not forgotten the words _travel with the hunters_. Did it mean he would leaver her again, maybe for several days in a row ? So soon after they had been reunited ?

Thorin, who was looking down at her, had noticed her sudden sadness. For a moment he wondered why, and then he understood : Had he not talked about travelling ? He cursed himself for putting such stupied ideas in her head. He had never planned to leave Erebor for more than a few hours, a day at most.

 **« I will have to leave early in the morning, at the break of dawn, and I will not be back before nightfall. But I** ** _will_** **wome home every night. »** He said with a fond smile, to reassure her. **« I have grown far, too fond of Erebor to ever leave it again. »**

 _And I have also grown very fond of one very special person who lives here..._ He added silently.

Dimly, he remembered a few rumours he had heard not so long ago – rumours about Laurelin having more than just friendly feelings for him. At the moment he had dismissed them without a second thought although the thought of her being in love with him was very pleasant, he had not believed there was any truth in it. But now... Doubt seized him. If the mere though of him leaving Erebor for a few days could distress her like that, maybe it did truly mean there was something more than just friendship ?

He felt his heart beat slightly faster, but didn't allow himself to cling to unfounded – and probalby false – hopes.

 _It's probably just nothing._

 **« Would you please sit down ? »** He said, preparing a stool for her, right behind the chair where he sat down himself. **« Every time you help me while I bathe, I have to marvel at the softness of your fingers. They are very skilled in relaxing the muscles of my back and shoulders. So maybe... If you'd like to, Laurelin... Maybe you could give me a massage ? My back is so sore I can barely move. I would be really grateful if you accepted, yet as usual there is no obligation. It's your choice. »**

He waited for a few seconds, then Laurelin nodded with a smile. She was a bit startled by this demand – he had never asked this before – yet she was also pleased to do it for him. The idea that she would be allowed to touch him – his skin, his muscles – made her blush, so she looked away before her eyes betrayed her and Thorin could guess what she was feeling.

 **« If you're not at ease with this idea, you don't have to do it... »** He insisted, looking at her with worried eyes.

 **« No, my King. It doesn't make me ill at ease. »** She said truthfully. **« I will be pleased to help you at my best. »**

She smiled at him, and tried to keep a composed face as she watched Thorin put the shirt away again. He sat on his chair, bare-chested and imposing.

Laurelin hesitated, so Thorin looked at her over his shoulder and offered her an encouraging smile. His damp hair was still hanging loose, framing his proud face and making him look even more handsome, in a way, than when it was neatly braided and adorned with jewels.

Laurelin took a deep breath to give herself courage, but couldn't help her cheeks to blush as she sat on the stool behind Thorin. For a moment she could do nothing but stare at this broad, muscled and scarred back, completely lost. What was she supposed to do ? How was she supposed to start ? She felt panic rise in her – what if I have to tell him I can't do it after all ? - but then he looked at her again. His smile was kind and friendly and reassuring. She felt slightly calmer, and at the same time her blush deepened.

 **« Please sit straight and look straight ahead. »** She said very softly, in an uncertain voice.

Thorin was not used at receiving orders, not even gentle orders, and for a moment his pride balked at the idea of obeying. Then he remembered that the person who had just given him this order was Laurelin, and he relaxed at once he would have spent his days listening and obeying to her orders, if it pleased her. Besides, they were in his private chambers here, were no one would witness them. He didn't need to be a King, when he was alone with Laurelin. He could be just a man who was glad to surrender himself to his beloved, after a long hard day.

LAURELIN's hands were trembling no matter how hard she was trying to steady them, they just refused to obey.

 _Maybe he won't notice..._ She hoped as she slowly touched his hand with her fingers.

She separated his hair in two parts and slipped both parts over his shoulders, on each side of his neck, so it came to rest against his chest. As she did so, Thorin looked down at her fingers they were long and thin, almost like human fingers. The skin was a bit rough and dry from working hard, and she had several ink spots on the inside of her fingers, but they worked on Thorin's hair very softly, very gently, without pulling at one single hair. He saw her damaged nails, too, and wondered if this was merely the result of too much work, or if she was biting them like many Dwarves did. He felt guilty for making her work so hard, even if her life had already become much easier since they had returned to Erebor. The idea that que was still his « servant » made him ill at ease. He didn't want her to be a servant. He just wanted to love her.

As she removed her hands from Thorin's hair, the skin of her arms brushed against Thorin's bare shoulders he could feel her warmth once more, and he felt an immediate feeling of happiness and well-being. Usually, no one ever touched him a hug from his sister from time to time – but she was rough as a bear compared to Laurelin - or sometimes an affectionate pat on the shoulder from his nephews, or from Dwalin. But nothing felt even remotely as good as Laurelin's touch. It was something both soft and powerful, something strong that made his heart beat like mad and that sent a rush of ecstasy though his veins. It made him forget all about his worries and his endless duties, as if nothing else in the world existed anymore.

Laurelin's hands being wet from Thorin's hair, she dried them on the front of her dress before taking a deep, long breath. She hesitated once more, unsure of what to do next, but then suddenly she decided to act instead of overthinking. She put both her open hands on his shoulders, a soft but firm contact that gave her the shivers never before had she touched his bare back so directly, so firmly. It made her heart beat faster in her chest. She pressed her thumbs against the tight muscles, and started massageing him, very slowly. Sometimes she had done it for her tired grand-mother, long ago. So she knew the basics of it. LAURELIN tried to put into practice whatever she remembered. She started in the middle of his shoulders, on either side of his spine, and then she moved outwards in big, slow circles, taking the time to knead the tired muscles till they relaxed under her soft touch.

No one had ever given a massage before, so when Laurelin started he had no idea what exactly to expect but after barely a few minutes, he realized it was even better than anything he could have expected. Laurelin's fingers were firm and strong as they worked on his sore muscles, but they were also soft and gentle, and so pleasantly warm. He closed his eyes and relaxed, enjoying this moment of pure bliss.

After a while, the rumours of Laurelin having feelings for him came back to the surface of his mind, and he wondered once more whether there was something true about it. Could she really see him as more than a friend ? Could she really love him like he loved her ? He knew he should not give too much importance to such unreliable rumors – who had started them, anyways ? – yet in spite of what his reason was telling him, a small part of him couldn't help but want to believe them. And these hopes made the massage she was giving him even more delicious.

Laurelin, on her side, appreciated it just as much as Thorin. She didn't say a word – she didn't want to ruin this moment of quiet – but she enjoyed exploring Thorin's back with her hands : his skin, his bones, his muscles... Here and there, she could feel a scar under her fingers, and she remembered the dreadful day he had returned from the Battle of Azanulbizar wounded and embittered. But then she shoved these bad memories aside to savour the present. She breathed in his smell and listened to his deep, slow breathing. She did her best to be discreet, but all these sensations were so delightful that if was hard for her to keep a straight face. And the fact that he truly enjoyed what she was doing for him made this moment enven better. She felt closer to him than ever before as her fingers slowly worked their way down his back. His muscles were so hard, so tense, but they loosened up one after the other as she worked on them.

At first Thorin tried to keep his usual countenance – he was a king, after all, and a king is supposed to show some restraint – but after a while he completely forgot every notion of control as Laurelin's fingers gently tickled his skin with the tip of his fingers. The touch was as light as a feather's. A deep moan escaped his throat as he felt a wave of well-being engulf him from head to toe. No one had ever made him feel things like that. No one. Ever. He couldn't think about anything else but Laurelin's hands all over his back. He shivered, but not from the cold. His mind wandered over to Laurelin herself, the woman who was making him feel so good the way she had been so shy and intimidated in his presence, moments earlier the warmth and softness of her magical fingers. He tried to imagine her face as she was concentrating on her task. He liked the idea that maybe she wasn't doing this massage as the duty of a servant for his master, or even a friend to another friend he liked the idea that there was love behind this wonderful touch, true and deep love.

Never before had he hoped with such intensity that a rumour was true.

When Laurelin was done massaging Thorin's whole back, she ended it by softly rubbing and stroking his skin with the palm of her hands, because she knew her grand-mother used to like this so maybe Thorin would like it too ? She started with his shoulders, then she went down his back as far as she felt she was allowed to without making anybody feel uncomfortable.

What she didn't know, was that Thorin was not feeling uncomfortable at all, on the contrary. Her caresses were so soft, so pleasant that he would have loved to feel them on his arms and his chest as well... He only regretted that he couldn't see her face at this moment, because he was sure that if he could see her right now he would be able to read in her eyes whether she truly had feelings for him or not. But he was afraid that if he turned around to look at her she would stop, so he did nothing and he just enjoyed what she was doing to him.

At some point, when Laurelin paused to bind back a strand of hair that had escaped her braid, he was afraid it was almost over and he was about to ask her to continue – but he realized just in time how inappropriate that would have sounded.

 _You're not supposed to love her touch as much as you, besides. She's doing it to help you relax. If she knew what you are truly feeling for her..._

Thorin sighed. What would she do, if she knew ? Would she freak out and leave him alone ? Would she be flattered – or even happy – to know how much she was important for him ? He knew the only way to get answers was to confess his love for her, yet he didn't feel the courage to do so right now. Not after such a long, hard day.

Then Laurelin resumed her ministrations, on his exposed neck this time. She put her hands on his, then she started massaging it with both her thumbs. There was strength in her fingers, and magic as well it didn't take them look to undo all the tight knot in his muscles. It also made him feel strangely warm from the inside, as her touch had the power to warm his blood.

 _Or maybe it's just the fire in the heart..._ The down-to-earth side of his mind retorted.

Laurelin's fingers stayed on Thorin's thick and muscled neck for a few minutes, then they went down his spine again and started massaging his back once more, because she could still feel some tension there and she wanted him to be completely satisfied.

Thorin could just feel himself slide deeper and deeper into the sensations of well-being Laurelin was waking in him. Every no and then, a soft moan or a low grunt of contentement escaped his lips. In the end he was so relaxed that he started dozing off the massage and the warmth combined overcame his resistance.

Laurelin, on the other side, was getting more and more tense. Keeping a straight face and keeping her mind on her task was getting more and more difficult touching his skin, feeling his muscles and pressing her hands into the hard flesh of his back was making her hot and giddy it was taking up all her strengths to not give in to the undeniable desire she was feeling for him. She was glad Thorin couldn't see heer at this precise moment, because he would have noticed at once how troubled she was – and she didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of him.

When she felt her hands starting to tremble again, she removed them from Thorin's back and pressed them against her thighs to steady them, but she knew she would be unable to resume massaging him. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again.

 **« My King... »** She said softly, to let him now she was finished.

It took Thorin a few moments to get out of his pleasant state of drowsiness. Going back to him so much pleas reality was hard, but he had no other choice so he nodded and turned around to look at Laurelin. His eyes immediately fell on her hands, who had just given so much satisfaction he wished it would have last longer, he wished it would never have stopped at all. But he chased away these silly ideas – good things never lasted endlessly – and his yes searched Laurelin's.

 **« Thank you, Laurelin. »** He said with a warm smile, as he grabbed one of her hands. **« Thank you for soothing my sore muscles and helping me to get rid of the pain. »**

Laurelin kept a straight face, yet a real storm of emotions was raging inside of her as she felt Thorin's strong fingers curl around her own hand, so big and strong and gentle. She was sure her weak legs would not be able to support her weight much longer : this was more than she could have expected. Being able to make him feel better in such an intimate way, and being rewarded by his simles and his groans of contentement... Being here alone with him... Hearing him thank her with this deep voice she loved so much... When she had started working for him, so many years ago, she would never have believed it if anybody had stold her such a situation would happen some day.

Thorin saw her get flushed, and he felt her fingers tremble in his hand. But he was troubled himself, too – no one had ever been able to make him feel things like that. He remembered Laurelin's hands on him and regretted once more that she had not ventured on other places than his back. And the very idea that somebody could do such things to him... provoke such reactions in him... it was very unsettling. In a good way, of course, but still unsettling.

He stood up from his chair and slowly stretched him muscles, who were not supple and relaxed. The pain was almost completely gone. Laurelin handed him his shirt, and Thorin realized it was time to send her away – but he didn't want to.

 **« Could you... could you clear away that mess right now, please ? »** He asked her awkwardly. He felt bad ordering her about as if she were no more than a serving girl, particularly now after what she had done for him, but troubled as he was he had found any other reason to keep her at his side a bit longer.

Usually when it was this late Laurelin cleared away the dirty water and the tub and the towels the next day, and Thorin didn't mind at all to spend the night in a messy bedroom, and Thorin hoped she wouldn't resent him for this additional work. She sat on the edge of his bed to put on his shirt and to watch her while she was busy, he cursed himself for being such a coward.

 _Why in Mahal's name didn't you tell her how you feel ? Then you wouldn't have needed such a stupid reason to ask her to stay._

Laurelin was surpised by Thorin's orders, but she gladly accepted to do what he asked of her. Being busy would help her to come out of her state of giddiness. She did her best to work swiftly and silently, with her usual goodwill, but she never looked up at Thorin as she was busy in his bedroom. She could feel his gaze on her, though, and wondered why he was looking at her instead of trying to sleep. Was he not exhausted ? Would he not have a hard day tomorrow ? Yet he was just sitting there on his bed, wearing the comfortable night clothes Laurelin had prepared for him. It didn't help her to calm down her trembling and flushed body.

When Laurelin settled down into one of the armchairs to brush Thorin's travelling cloak – it was covered in dust and horse hair – Thorin almost told her there was no need to, since it would get dirty the next day again, but then she kept his mouth shut when he realized it would allow him to watch her even longer. She was always so kind, so patient, so devoted to him. No one had asked her to clean this cloak right now, but she had just seen it was dirty so she had teken the initiative to clean it. Even though Thorin felt a bit uneasy to see her in such a situation – working as a servant when he wanted to worship her like a beloved woman – he couldn't tear his eyes off her. She was so cute and endearing. She was offering him a gentleness and a tenderness he had never experienced before – neither from his stern father and grand-father, neither from his mother who had died as he was still young, neither from his sister who was tough as a man underneath her pretty face. He had loved the sensations Laurelin has wakened in him when she had given him this masage. He was sure it wouldn't have been as good – by far – if any other person had given him a massage. It was Laurelin who had made it so good. Sweet and lovely Laurelin. Only her.

He also noticed – not for the first time – how beautiful she was. Her face was round and soft, with big brown doe eyes and light brown freckled over her nose and full lips. He long hair was light brown, but in the light of the candles it looked almost red it was still bound in a tight bun, but several strands had escaped and were now dangling around her face. Her body was slender for a Dwarf-woman, yet she still had enough curves to make her look gorgeous and terribly feminine. Even though her humble dresses were not made to show her to her best advantage, she still looked more beautiful in cotton and roughspun than most women with velvet and silk. He wondered what she was thinking of, as he watched her sitting in her chair, a look of concentration on her face.

After a while, as he realized it may make her feel uncomfortable to be started at like that. So he told her to stop working, and to have some rest. She nodded and bowed briefly in front of him, then she delicately hung the cloak over the back of the chair on which she had been sitting, in front of the fire so it would be nicely warm for Thorin next morning.

Then she looked at him for the first time since she had massaged him, to check whether he was asleep or not. He wasn't, of course, and their eyes met. He tried to read her thoughts, but it was dark now and the light of the candles wasn't providing enough light for him to study her moods.

 **« Since you have no more tasks for me I will leave, then, to let you rest in peace. »** She said in a soft voice, as she bowed again. **« Good night, my King. »**

The way she said good-night made him smile in delight. A spark of happiness flickered through his blue eyes.

 **« Good night... »** He replied kindly, still smiling.

Then Laurelin bowed one last time, and left his bedroom.

As soon as she had left, Thorin felt instantly disappointed. In spite of the fire, the room felt suddenly very cold and empty, without Laurelin's presence – as if whe had taken all the warmth with her, when she had left. He sighed sadly, and laid down into his bed, then he tried to settle as comfortably as possible under his blankets. But here again they were cold and empty. He wished Laurelin could come into the bed with him, and lay at his side. He blushed violently at this thought, but even so it didn't stop his mind from wandering into a direction that made him feel both uncomfortable and strangely flushed instead of her brushing his cloak, he imagined her at his side, under the blankets, her hands all over his body and not only on his back and shoulder. Never in his life had he desired something as hard as he now desired Laurelin's presence at his side.

Neddless to say that he didn't sleep much that night. He tossed and he turned in his bed, and when he fell asleep at last it was a restless kind of sleep, full of strange dreams that left him sweating and breathless.

When he woke up before the break of dawn, even more tired as before he had gone to bed, he had made a resolution :

 **« Today, I will tell her. »** He said aloud, to the darkness surrounding him.

Of course he would not wake her before leaving on his journey with the hunters, but as soon as he would come home : He would tell her.


	29. CONFESSIONS

The day that followed Laurelin's massage was just as unpleasant as Thorin had expected usually he liked to be on horseback, but this was too much. Hour after hour, he had to endure the endless trot of his fat little pony, till every muscle in his body was aching.

When evening came at last, he was glad to hand the reins of his pony to one of the stable boys, and to be on his feet again. His legs were weak and trembling after this long ride, but it felt good to walk again.

At first, he wanted to walk straight to Laurelin's chambers, and tell her about his feelings – he had gathered his courage all day long, he would not cower this time. But then he realized that she might not even be home at this hour of the day it was early evening, and usually at this hour she was either on thr market buying food for dinner, or bringing laundry to the washing girls. Or maybe she was home, but too busy to listen to him properly. Or maybe they would be interrupted every now and then by Dwarves who needed to speak to their king. And Thorin wanted none of this to happen. So, he decided to wait a few hours, after night fall, so he could be truly alone with her.

 _And it will give me a few more hours to prepare..._ He pondered. Even though he was determined to tell her everything, he was not sure yet how exactly he would tell her. Which words should he use to make her understand how much he cared for her ? How much he loved her ? Which words should he use to reassure her ? How should he react if she told him she didn't share his feelings ? And what if she _did_ share his feelings ? What then ?

He sighed and sat on a flat rock lost in a sea of greenery. Everything was quiet around him, but his mind was in an uproar. He watched as the sun slowly descended towards the horizon, before disappearing behind the green hills surrounding Erebor. When night came, he got up at last after this long moment of immobility, his muscles were even more stiff and sore than before. He grunted in pain, but forced himself to continue.

He chose to use the smaller side door instead of the great entrance, because he knew it would be much quieter this way. He was greeted by the two Dwarves in armour who were standing guard there ; and once inside, by a few other Dwarves he met on his way. But most of his folk had retreated to their own chambers by now. The corridors were almost empty, and Thorin's footsteps echoed loudly between the high walls of polished stone. He had somehow expected Laurelin to wait for him there, as she usually did when he came home later than expected, but he couldn't blame her.

 _She probably DID wait for me, but even Laurelin's patience has its limits. She couldn't just drop all her other duties to stand here and wait for hours._

Yet he was still a bit annoyed that his reunion with her would be delayed.

When he opened the doors to his chambers, he expected to see Laurelin in there, anxiously waiting for his return and greeting him with a smile, but to his greatest disappointment he didn't see her. He froze in his tracks. All his enthusiasm and his impatience melted like snow in the sun, and hundreds of questions flooded his mind. Where is she? Why is she not here ? Did something happen to her ? Suddenly there was a lump in his throat as he realized he might have frightened her, the day before, by asking her to do something so personal and intimate. And he had stared at her for quite a long time, too... maybe she had seen him ? Maybe she was now frightened to be alone with him ?

The handle of the door slipped out of his hands, and the door slammed shut behind him. He startled, and a few moments later a serving girl came running obviously, she had fallen asleep while waiting for him, and now she seemed rather distressed at the idea that her king had caught her neglecting her duties.

 **« I'm sorry, my King, »** She muttered hastily, trying to rearrange her braids who had fallen out of place while she had slept. **« I am her to replace your personal servant Laurelin, who fell down the stairs of the Eastern Corridor while walking back from the market with a basket in her hands. She disclocated her shoulder in the fall. The healer Oìn took care of her already, but she needs a few days of rest so she sent me to do the work in her place. »**

She kept her eyes low, but the way she was biting at her lips showed how nervous she was to be in her King's presence.

Thorin watched her for a moment. He knew her by sight she was one of the youngest servants, and even if Thorin's first impulse was to show his annoyance at Laurelin's absence – and precisely on the day he had decided to confess his love to her – but then he chided himself. _You're a king, not a pouty child, and it's not the young girl's fault. Taking it out on somebody who has nothing to do with Laurelin's accident will definitely not help._

She had been kind enough to offer her help when Laurelin was unable to come working, so the least Thorin could do was to show her some respect.

 **« Thank you for offering your services to me in her absence. »** He said in a kind and polite voice, even though he was screaming inwardly.

Laurelin's gaping absence at this very moment felt as if somebody had ripped a hole in his chest. He wanted to ask the servant a thousand questions about Laurelin and her accident – but on the other side he felt strangely numb, unable to think straight, as if his mind was floating in some dense fog that left him unable to ask for the details he wanted to know about so badly. As he watched the girl hang his cloak on the hook, right next to the door, he felt a pang of guilt as he realized he hadn't even said good-bye, this morning. He had left so early... He hadn't wanted to disturb her while whe was still asleep, or while she was slowly waking up... So he had decided to leaver her alone, and to keep all his words of love for the evening, when they would be together – only now evening had come and they were NOT together. This though annoyed him so much that he couldn't focus on anything else. He dropped into one of the cozy armchairsd in front of the fire, and only then did he realize he had completely forgotten to remove his travelling boots. He had left a path of muddy tracks from the door to the armchair.

 **« Sorry... »** He muttered, pointing at the perfectly shaped boot prints. **« I didn't... »** He uncomfortably cleared his throat. **« When exactly did Laurelin's accident happen ? Do you  
know it ? »**

 **« This morning, my King. »** She said, bowing deeply. **« She left your chambers soon before the mid-day to buy food for your dinner tonight, but her basket was heavy when she came back from the market, and the stairs of the Eastern corridor are wet and slippery because of the leak, my King. Water from the river seeps through the cracks in the wall. »**

 **« I know, yes... »** Thorin sighed in annoyance. He had known about this problem for quite a while, but since it wasn't something vital he hadn't given it much thought so far. Now he regretted his carelessness.

 _So, she fell while we were climbing the eastern slope of the rocky hills at the north of Erebor_... He realized, trying to remember what he had felt at this precise moment.

He tried to go about his usual routine – he started eating the dinner the serving girl brought him, still hot from the oven – but soon he realized it was impossible for him to pretend everything was fine. The food was good, of course : garlic sausages and black bread with a thick, hard-baked crust. Preserved vegetables. Spiced potatoes. The table was covered in his favourite food, yet he couldn't bring himself to eat more than a few mouthfuls. He needed Laurelin at his side. His mind kept wandering towards her. Was she in her bed right now ? Was she asleep, or still suffering ? He knew a dislocated shoulder was nothing really serious – it didn't threaten her life, and it would not leave her impaired – but it was still very painful. He truste Oïn, of course, and he knew the old healer had probably done his best to ease her pain. Maybe he had even given her some sleeping drought, to help her rest. In this case she was probably asleep.

When Thorin was finished with his meal, the serving girl – whatever was her name – suggested Thorin might wash himself clean from the dust of the road. Although the idea of wallowing in a deep, warm bath was very tempting, the fact that he would not have Laurelin at his side to rub his back and his shoulders and to help him wash his hair immediatly dampened his enthusiasm.

 **« I will manage on my own. »** He said kindly, to make sure she didn't see it as a rebuke. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, or to spread unpleasant tales about him all over Erebor. **« Please see that the tub is filled with hot water, and after that, while I am in my bath, why don't you just clear away all this ? »** He said, showing her the cluttered table. **« Bring the leftovers to the kennels, the dogs will be glad to eat the fat and the sausage peels. »**

He couldn't even consider bathing with another one than Laurelin to assist him. He knew her, and he trusted her like he trusted no one else. He watched the girl as she left his chamber, and as she came back minutes later with a horde of young boys carrying buckets full of hot water. They filled the tub in Thorin's bedchamber, then they all left, allowing their king some privacy while he washed himself. He removed his clothes himself, and this time when the button tangled itself in his hair he felt a powerful surge of anger. By Mahal's beard, why did things never happen as planned ? This was so unfair ! Now that he had gathered the courage to talk to her at last, something else had come to stand between them ! He pulled at his shirt with all his strength, and grunted in pain as he ripped out a long strand of his own black hair. A curse escaped his lips, and he wanted nothing but to run over to Laurelin's chambers to be with her, to hold her in his arms and spill out his feelings so she could at last see what was truly inside his heart. A bath was the last thing he wanted, but he was also conscious that knocking at her door stinking of horse and sweat, covered in dust from head to toe, would probably not be very appealing to her. He didn't want to mess up his declaration. He wanted to make things properly, and to make it a wonderful moment for Laurelin – a moment that she would remember all her life with a smile on her lips, so the least he had to do was to take a bath and to wash himself.

He undressed quickly and slipped into the hot water, and moaned in delight. He started scrubbing his skin to remove all the dirt, but when it came to washing his back Laurelin's absence became obvious once more. He craved to feel her small soft hands on his back, and in his hair. He missed her so much that it was almost a physical pain, so he washed himself as quickly as possible, then he climbed out of the tub and dried himself in a towel. The other servant had not taken the time to hang it in front of the fire, as Laurelin did, so it was unpleasantly cold. Then he didn't even take the time to braid his hair. It would make him lose too much time.

When he was finished, he found the young serving girl waiting for him.

 **« Are you finished, my King ? »** She asked shyly, without looking at the mighty man standing in front of her.

 **« Yes, I am finished with the bath. But it is late already and you look tired. Why don't you leave it all as it is, for tinight ? You can clean the mess tomorrow. It won't bother my sleep to have a few towels and old clothes laying about on the floor. »**

 **« Thank you, my King. »** She replied meekly, before bowing in front of him and retreating from his chambers.

Once she was gone, he waited a few more minutes, and then he left his chambers as well. Most candles on the walls had gone out by now, and Thorin walked in the semi-darnkess, but he knew these corridors by heart so it was easy for him to find Laurelin's chambers.

When he reached her door, he stopped just long enough to knock, but then he didn't have the patience to wait for her reply – he needed to see her NOW, by Mahal's beard. He opened the door and stormed into her chambers. It was dark inside, so it took him a while to see her – and when he saw her at last, he felt a wave of warmth and relief flow through his veins. She was here, at last, in front of him. And working of course, in spite of the healer's orders to rest : she was sitting in a chair, in front of the crackling fire. She was mending one of the humble brown dresses she wore when she was working for Thorin. That was so typical of her. He couldn't help but smile as he saw her like that.

Laurelin froze when she heard and saw him burst into her chambers like a hurricane. For a few moments – that seemed to last much longer – she just stared at him in disbelief, unable to move or to say anything. Her eyes were fixed on him.

 _What the hell is he doing here, at this late hour of the night ?_ She wondered, her mind completely bewildered.

She remembered her bodice and her smallclothes werer laying about on the chair where she had left them, and she blushed as she realized Thorin had probably seen them. The she pressed her left hand against her chest, to hide her décolleté, thus waking the pain in her shoulder it was covered in blue and black bruises, and it hurt her every time she moved. The pain had been dulled by Master Oìn's postions, of course, but it was still sharp enough to keep her awake in spite of her exhaustion. She stood up from her chair at once and bowed in front of her king, wincing in pain as she did so, ans waiting for him to tell her why he had come at this most unexpected hour.

It's at this moment, when she stood up and turned her face at Thorin, that he saw her damaged face : a big bruise on her left temple, and a cut on the arch of her eyebrow on the same side. Oìn had neatly stitched up the wound, yet it was still very red and a bit inflamed. Her lip was split and swollen, too. He cringed as he saw her like that. Poor thing. He could only imagine the pain she was enduring right now, and it felt as if somebody had stabbed him straight in the chest. A long scream of anguish rose in his throat, but he managed to stifle it before it escaped his lips. He didn't want to frighten her.

For a brief moment, Thorin wanted nothing but to hug her and hold her in his arms, and to whisper into her ears that she was not alone, that he would stay at her side in this ordeal. Yet soon these friendly feelings were replaced by something else the fact that she had put her hand against her decolleté – this quick instinctive gesture - had wakened something in him, a strong desire to feel her whole body against his... Skin on skin... Together as they had never been before, their arms and legs entagled till they fused into one single being. It was so powerful that he knew he wouldn't be able to keep his feelings hidden from her any longer, or even to refrain his impulses.

But then he looked at her again, and he saw her wounds again, and suddenly it was sadness that overwhelmed him. He made a few steps that brought him closer to her, then he looked at her gravely, without even trying to hide his concern behind a false smile. Anger rose slowly but steadily in him deep down he knew that Laurelin was not little girl who needed to be mollycoddled day and night to be sure nothing bad happened to her, yet he still felt a pang of guilt and anger at the idea that she had been alone when the accident had happened. He should have been there, at her side. Maybe he could have prevented it, he pondered, as he refrained from the urge to stroke her bruised cheek with his fingers. But he had not been there, and she had been alone, and she had suffered for hours – all day long, actually – alone in her bed. He took a deep breath to try and keep a calm face, because he didn't want to let her see his anger. He didn't want her to imagine she had done anything wrong, on top of everything else.

 **« Are... Are you all right ? »** He asked awkwardly, and he suddenly felt stupid for asking. Of course she was NOT all right.

 **« I am fine... »** Laurelin replied, and Thorin felt a pang of guilt as he heard her brave lie. He wished she would have been honest about her pain, but if she had chosen to not open up to him it meant he had done something wrong at some point. Maybe he shouldn't have startled her by entering her bedchamber without even a warning ? Maybe it made her uncomfortable to see him invade her privacy like that ?

Laurelin stuck the needle into the fabric of her dress, and let it all drop on the floor. Her other hand was still on her decolleté, making her look both shy and terribly enticing.

In truth, she was more than happy to see him at last, after so many hours without seeing him, bur she was so distressed that she couldn't bring herself to say a word.

 **« The... The serving girl who took your place told me what happened to you. I was very worried for you, so I came as soon as it was possible. »** He explained. **« I... I just hope you don't mind me being here so late at night... »** He waited for an answer, but then he saw that Laurelin's eyes were shining with unshed tears. He plunged his blue eyes in hers. **« No, Laurelin, please... No... There's no reason for you to feel like that... What is wrong ? Why are you so distressed ? »**

Once more he wanted nothing but to hold her in his arms and never let go again.

 **« I... I am sorry for being so clumsy. »** She said in a stricken voice. **« And I'm sorry I was unable to assume my duties today. »** She paused and lowered her eyes. **« I am sorry I disappointed you. »** She said at last, and a single drop rolled down her bruised cheek. **« But if such is your desire, I could resume my work right now. Oïn gave me a potion for the pain, so I can move and work without too much touble. »**

She bowed in front of him and when she stood straight again, she was still unable to look at him. Thorin felt his heart melt as he saw her like that. How could she possibly blame herself for what had happened ? Did she think it was her fault ? Did she truly think he was disappointed in her because of this accident ?

 **« Laurelin : you have never disappointed me... »** He said in a low, reassuring voice, but Laurelin didn't seem to hear him.

 **« I washed and mended your spare shirt, so you can wear it tomorrow since the shirt you wore today will not be washed in time. »** She said, her face as impassive as a stone carving. Only her eyes betrayed the emotions she was feeling.

 **« Laurelin... »** Thorin sighed wearily, horrified to see her react in such a way. How could she probably think he would resent her ? **« Laurelin you have never disappointed me, you hear me ? »** he said in a firm but kind voice. **« Never. Not once in your life. So please stop being worried about it, now. I a not disappointed. But I a worried for you. Seeing you like this... »** He lifted his hand as if to touch her cheek, but he stopped just before his fingers made contact with her skin, suddenly unsure. **« It's heart-breaking for me to see these bruises, and to imagine your pain. Truly heart-breaking. »**

Then he grabbed her hand, very softly, and pulled her closer to him with a friendly smile.

When she felt Thorin's strong fingers curl around her own hand, Laurelin looked up at him at last. The smile she saw on his face warmed her heart and eased her worries. Suddenly she found herself unable to look away from his blue, enrapturing eyes. She felt her heart race in her chest like a wild horse.

 **« You've always done more than what was asked of you, Laurelin. Sometimes you've worked late into the night to make sure I had everything I needed. You've become an essentiel part of my life, and not only for you work : also – and mainly - because you are the one person in the worl that can make me smile even after a long day. Just seeing you, just being in your presence is enough to make me forget about everything else. »** Now that he had started, the words came easily. **« Laurelin, I wanted to tell you this for a very long time – for years, to be honest. But first you were not at my side, because you were still on the roads with all those others, and then... and then... »** He sighed deeply. **« Then you came back, but it was never the right moment, but now... When I came home tonight and you weren't there, I just realized I couldn't wait any longer. I came here as soon as I could, and now... »** He looked at her, his eyes glistening with emotion. **« Laurelin, I couldn't live without you anymore. I need you at my side, every day till the end of my life. »**

He pulled softly, very gently, on her hand. Laurelin, who was still under shock after hearing such words, let him lead her over to the bed. She didn't know what to think, even less what to say : she was so dubstruck that she was at a loss for words.

She watched Thorin sit on the edge of the bed, then he pulled at her hand again to encourage her to sit at his side. She didn't offer any resistance, and she complied willingly. Being so close to him – particularly after what he had just told her – made her feel weak and dizzy her lips were trembling, as well as her legs and her hands. She was glad to be sitting, because she was sure her legs wouldn't have been able to carry her.

Seeing her so shy and trembling, Thorin smiled tenderly at her.

 **« I think tonight we will swap places. »** He suggested in a friendly and good-natured tone. **« Tonight, you are the one who could do with a massage, what do you think about it ? »**

Laurelin being still unable to speak, Thorin decided to take action without waiting for her response. He climbed on the bed and knelt behind her the bed creaked under his weight, but the mattress was firm and comfortable.

Laurelin couldn't believe what was happening. Was this real, or was her imagination playing tricks on her ? Maybe it was all just a particularly realistic dream ? Because this couldn't be real, could it ? Thorin was the proud King of Durin's folk, he couldn't possible waste his precious time with a mere serving girl, could her ?

But then Thorin's rough and callused hands gathered all her long hair and put it over her unharmed shoulder, very tenderly, like she had done the day before when she had massaged Thorin. When his fingers brushed against the bare skin of her neck, she shivered from head to toe. Goosebumps covered her arms.

 **« Could you... »** He cleared his throat. He was not sure how she would react to his query. **« Maybe you could just lower your nightshirt a bit, to free your shoulder ? »** He asked awkwardly, hoping she would not be frightened by his attitude.

Laurelin obeyed without a word, blushing deeply as she pulled on the collar of her nightshirt to slip it very carefully over her wounded shoulder, without revealing any other part of her body.

When Thorin saw her shoulder, he gasped in shock and horror : it was ccovered in blue and purple bruising, and at some point the skin was grazed open it wasn't deep, but it was probably very painful all the same. Once more, he felt a stab of guilt and anger, because he wasn't there for her when it had happened. He stroked the damaged skin so softly it was barely more than a breathe of air, as if trying to erase the ugly bruises – but of course it didn't worlk. Nothing he would do would make the pain go away. Only time would heal her.

When Laurelin felt Thorin's soft contact on her skin, her eyes filled with tears of emotion. He was so soft, so tender and caring. Who would have thought that a mighty and hardened warrior like him could be so soft ?

Thorin, on his side, smiled as he felt her skin under his fingers. Since he didn't want to hurt her, he started his massage on the heatlhy parts of her shoulder, as well as on her back and her neck. Laurelin closed her eyes in delight as she felt Thorin's hand on her body, and opened her lips as a long sigh of bliss and well-being escaped her throat. His hands were big and callused, and the inside of his fingers and palms was rough from hard work. But these hands were strong, too they were made to wield the sword and the hammer, yet somehow he was still touching her with softness. She savoured his touch, wondering once more if she was dreaming or if it was truly happening.

 _If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up ever again_. She reflected. _And if it's real, then it's even better than anything I could have dreamt of._

Sometimes, Thorin softly stroked the bruised skin with his thumb, without putting any pressure on it. He always watched Laurelin very carefully as he did so, to be sure he wasn't inflicting any pain on her, but the tears that rolled down Laurelin's soft beardless cheeks were tears of emotion and happiness. She couldn't help but marvel at the tenderness whe felt in his touch no one had ever been so gentle, so soft with her, except her parents and her grand-mother when she had been younger, so many years ago.

After fifteen minutes, Thorin grew bolder and put his second hand on Laurelin's other shoulder, the unhurt one. He started massaging her there as well, through the fabric of her linen nightshirt. But soon, he realized it wasn't enough anymore : the urge to feel her naked skin under his hand grew stronger and stronger. When he couldn't resist anymore, he pulled at the fabric to bare her shoulder, very gently and also very slowly, to give her time to protest if she didn't agree. But she didn't protest at all. She opened her eyes again, probably in surprise, but otherwise she didn't show any sign of protest or discomfort – so he just resumed his massage.

Inwadly, though, Laurelin was in turmoil. Even though she did her best to keep a straight face – because she didn't want Thorin to guess how she was feeling about all this - she felt very hot from the inside, as if her blood was boiling, and she was also dizzy as if she had drank too much wine. Her heart was beating like mad. She had to make huge efforts to keep her breathing calm and steady while Thorin's strong fingers worked on her neck and her shoulders. She had never experiences something so delicous, and the fact that it was Thorin doing it to her made it even better. Once more, she felt like she had strayed into a dream.

After a while, Thorin felt her tremble under his fingers, but obviously it was not of fears. Her cheeks were deliciously flushed, making them look like soft red peaches. She had never been so pretty. If only she had not been so bruised and hurt, it would have been perfect. The fact that Laurelin – dear sweet Laurelin who always helped and never asked anything back – was now allowing _him_ to help and soothe her was making him utterly happy. He would have continued like that for hours, for days even. He would never get enough of the softness of her skin, of the warth of her body.

 _It's now or never..._ He ordered himself. _You are both alone. It's late and no one will be coming to bother you. You are already in a very intimate situation. If you don't do it now, maybe it will take days, or weeks, before you find yourselves in such an ideal situation again._

Hoping the rumours about Laurelin having feelings for him were right, he stopped massaging her back, but kept both his hands on her shoulders, strong and firm and reassuring. He took a deep breath, then he leaned forwards and kissed her softly on the nape of her neck. She smelled of Oìn's ointments and of soap, and a powerful wave of desire rose in him, making him shiver and sweat at the same time.

Laurelin gasped softly when she felt his lips on her neck they were soft and gentle, and his short beard tickled her as it brushed against her skin. She froze and stiffened slightly, suprised by the turn this was taking. Then, without a warning, tears rolled down her cheeks in silence. She couldn't believe it was true, because this was too beautiful, wasn't it ? A king couldn't kiss a servant, could he ? Not even in her wildest dream had she hoped for something like that, yet now it was happening, and the sensations it woke in her shivering body were absolutely delicious. She closed her eyes again, and a small moan escaped her lips, almost inaudible, yet Thorin still heard it and it woke him from his trance. Imediately, he removed his hands from her shoulders, and cursed himself for acting so rashly. He shouldn't have gone so fast, and without asking her on top of everything.

 _What will she think of you now, you fool ?_ He chided himself. _What were you thinking, taking advantage of a massage to kiss her without even asking ? Without even being sure she_ wanted _to be kissed ? If she thinks you're a pervert, now, it's no more than you deserve !_

Thorin tried to explain to her just how much he loved her – he wanted her to know it was more than lust or base desire he was feeling for her – but somehow the words got stuck in his throat, because deep down he knew that even if he told her she might not believe it, right now. She might think it was just an excuse he had come up with to explain this unexpected kiss. Or maybe she would believe it, but what if she didn't love him back ? Would she tell him, or would she just pretend she enjoyed it to please him ? He was a king, after all, and Laurelin was so devoted, so loyal... She might say she enjoyed his touch, just for fear he might dismiss her... These thoughts were unbearable for Thorin. He didn't want her to feel forced or even pressured to do anything. He wouldn't inflicate that on her. Never.

He was about to get up from the bed and to leave her alone – he shouldn't have burst unanounced into her bedroom, anyways – when suddenly she turned around to look at him.

 **« I... »** She started in an hesitant voice. Thorin listened raptly, but no other words followed.

Once, long ago, when they had travelled from village to village before the Blue Mountains, Laurelin had seen two wild dogs fighting over the carcass of a dead deer one dog had been pulling into one direction, the other dog in the other direction. Now Laurelin felt like that poor deer. She was torn. The reasonable voice in her head told her to refuse, in spite of the desire Thorin's touch had wakened in her, but then she might offend him. The second voice in her head whispered honey into her ears, telling her that she should give in to the temptation, but if she accepted too easily she might be seen as a slut, wouldn't she ? She didn't want anybody – and even less Thorin – to think she was that kind of easy woman. She sighed and closed her hands into fists to keep them from trembling. What was she supposed to tell him, when she didn't even know herself what she was really thinking ?

Thorin waited for a moment. The fact that she was so hesitant made him cringe. He feared he had gone too far, and he felt guilty for giving in to his desires. He shouldn't have done that. What if she never wanted to be alone with anymore, from now ?

When the silence became too uncomfortable, Laurelin forced herself to speak.

 **« I... My King, I am nothing but a humble serving girl. »** She said, her voice shy and trembling with contained emotion. **« I am not for you. I can't... I mean : you're a King, and you deserve to be with someone worthy of you. Not someone like me... »**

The words were so hard to say she almost choked on them, yet she knew it was necessary.

Laurelin loved him, this was clear. Maybe she had always loved him, even in the beginning, when she was too young and too inexperienced to recognize her own feelings. It was not just a silly crush, or a brief infatuation that would fade within months. It was love. True, deep love. She wanted nothing but his happiness, and she knew she was not the one he needed to reach this happiness. It would kill her if people mocked him for being with a lowborn serving girl. He was a great king, and he deserved a great woman. A true queen, who could make him proud.

Thorin watched her for a long moment, unable to speak. He didn't know what to make of her words. Did she mean that she felt love but refused to give in to her feelings because of her position ? Was it merely a polite way to tell him she wasn't interested ? He would have been unable to tell, yet he knew for sure that there was pain in her voice. He loked over her shoulder to her face, and saw that she had been crying. He felt his heart melt, but he still insisted, because he had to be sure.

 **« If I were not Thorin Oakenshield, the King of Erebor... If I were just a man amongst other men... Would you accept me, then ? Would you accept my feelings for you ? Would you... would you feel the same for me ? »**

 _Would you love me back ?_ He had wanted to say. Yet somehow the words had refused to come out. But it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered now was Laurelin's repsonse to his question – so he looked at her and waited, trying his best to hide his impatience of his restlessness. He wanted her to take her time and answer truthfully, not say the first thing that came ot her mind because she felt pressured to answer quickly.

Laurelin hesitated for a very long time. The silence was complete in her bedroom. Then she decided to be honest with him, as she had always been before.

 **« I have loved the homeless prince when we were living on the roads... I have loved Thorin Oakenshield who ruled the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains... I have love the blacksmith... And now I do love the King Thorin of Erebor. More than any word could express. »**

Her voice broke on the last word, and her hands were shaking now. She couldn't believe she had had the courage to say this aloud.

 _So she does love me._ Thorin realized, his heart leaping with joy in his chest. _It is true. It is not a dream, not a fantasy, no. It's real_.

A broad smile stretched his lips, and the love he felt for her grew even stronger at this  
precise moment. No woman had ever talked to him about love, not before the fall of Erebor – when he was still a precious and pampered princeling – and even less after Smaug's attack, once life had turned him hard and bitter. And no one had ever been able to make him feel so good. When he was with Laurelin, it was as if he escaped to another world – a world that was free of anger and worries and fears.

 **« My love... »** He whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. **« Laurelin... my love... You've watched over me all these years, like a guardian angel... You devoted your whole life to me, without ever asking anything back... For many years I saw no more in you than a faithful and loyal servant, and I am so sorry about it, Laurelin. So sorry. I was blind and stupid. I should have noticed earlier... I should have seen... But I was too worried about my own problems, and life was hard, and... »** He sighed. **« But now I've opened my eyes, Laurelin, and I love you. By Mahal's name, Laurelin, I love you. I'm not sure it will always be easy for you to, because people will talk and I don't want them to hurt you, but I love you and I cannot keep it for myself any longer. And the idea that you love me back... »**

He didn't find the right words to express the intense joy he was feeling at his thought, but his smile was enough. It was a beaming smile, and there were sparkles in his blue eyes.

 _My love._

When Laurelin heard these two words, her heart litterally exploded with joy. Fat tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks.

Thorin took a few steps that brought him closer to Laurelin, then he put his hands on each side of her waist. It sent a shiver down his spine to feel her right there, warm and soft under his hands. So close. So terribly he burried his face in the nape of her neck, closing his eyes as he breathed in her smell and her warmth. He couldn't believe she was actually letting him do this. He couldn't believe she was actually enjoying this. It was too good to be true. It was like a dream – a powerful, very realistic dream.

 **« Mmmmh... »** He gasped, unable to refrain a deep sigh.

He was not a king anymore. Duties and responsibilities were all lost and forgotten, replaced by the desires and passions of the man hiding beneath the mask He removed his hands from her waist, then – still standing behind her – he slowly grabbed both Laurelin's hands and pressed them against her belly his fingers closed around them, firmly but very gently. She would have deserved someone better than him, Thorin knew it – she would have deserved somebody with less responsibilities, who could have been able to spend more time with her every day, but he would have been unable to tear himself apart from her, now more than ever. The fact that she loved him back had incensed him in a way he had never known before. And when he felt her squeeze back his fingers in response, it almost drove him mad with desire. He wanted nothing but to wrap her in his arms and keep her there forever, and love her for the rest of his life, yet he still had enough sense to keep himself under control. She was wounded, he reminded himself.

Then he saw her lips, and wondered how it would feel to kiss them.

 _The only way to find out is to give it a try_... A bold voice in his head whispered softly.

He removed his face from her neck and sat straight again. He moved slightly sideways and shifted his weight to put one of his feet on the ground, while the second one was still on the bed then he slipped one of his arms behind Laurelin's back, the other arm under her legs, always careful to not hurt her. Then he hesitated for a while, wondering what in Mahal's beard he was doing right now – he had never acted out in passion like that – but then he saw trust in Laurelin's eyes and he stopped over-thinking everything. He lifted her gently off the ground and – simply by rotating his own body – he put her on the bed with infinite tenderness. As she lay there in front of him, so pretty and desirable and trusting, he wouldn't help but stare fondly at her. His smile was beaming.

Laurelin looked back at him, her vision blurred by the tears of emotion that were still flowing from her eyes, completely overwhelmed by what was happening to her. She hadn't expected anything like this. The way Thorin smiled at her, the way he looked at her... it made her heart melt with love and happiness. When Thorin climbed on the bed next to her and slipped his fingers into her left hand, she feared once more that she would wake up from this beautiful dream at any moment. Slowly, very slowly, his face moved closer to hers as she saw it coming neared and nearer, she savoured this wonderful moment of intimacy. She was staring alternativeely into his eyes or on his lips, and her eyes were sparkling with something that had nothing to do with her tears.

And then Thorin's lips made contact with hers. He put a very gentle kiss on her lower lip, and Laurelin shivered from head to toe. She closed her eyes briefly and thanked Mahal for this precious moment, that she would remember for the rest of her life no matter what would follow. Then she opened her eyes again when Thorin's lips left hers again, and she looked up at him. Their eyes met, and the same though crossed both their minds.

 _It was even better than anything I could have expected._

Thorin had never felt so close to anybody, and he didn't want it to stop. Being her with Laurelin, his lips on hers, his hands on hers – this was his true place in this world. This was where he belonged. And when he looked down on Laurelin – on her face flushed with emotions and her shiny eyes – he realized she was probably feeling the same about him. It gave him the courage to act once more. He kissed her again, but this time he opened his mouth and pressed the whole length of his lips against hers, but still doing his best to not hurt her where whe was bruised. His tongue brushed hers very quickly he didn't want to be too forward or to pressure her into something that made her comfortable, but on the other side her craved to get closer and closer to her, closer and closer to her body. Laurelin didn't immediately respond to this soft caress, so for a short while Thorin feared he had been too far – what if she though he was feeling lust instead of love ? - but then suddenly she reacted and moved and responded to his kiss.

Laurelin was a shy and soft woman, and so was her kiss. It was made of love and tenderness and caring. For a very brief moment, no more than a heartbeat : She seized Thorin's lower lips between hers with infinite gentleness, then she released him again.

Some men might have been disappointed by her timid response, but not Thorin : He loved Laurelin's shyness, he loved how she always acted with restraint. He was glad to see that even in such an intimate moment she was still herself. It was both reassuring and extremely arousing. Finally, he opened his eyes to look at her. Her cheeks were pink and flushed, and she had a mischievous glint in her big brown eyes.

 _I'll never leave her side again._ He vowed silently, still kissing her softly.


	30. FIRST LOVING MOMENTS

Then, suddenly : He saw her wince, and he remembered her accident. He remembered her bruised lips and the wound on her eyebrow. He broke the kiss and moved away from her a bit. He looked her straight in the eyes, trying to read the thoughts that were hiding behind her brown pupils, trying to guess how much pain she was in.

It was still difficult for Laurelin to stare back at him, but she lifted her hand to push away several strands of black hair that hung around Thorin's face. Then she stroked his cheek, enjoying the warmth of his skin, and the softness of his well-trimmed beard. Then her fingers trailed softly down his neck, where they lingered for a while.

Thorin closed his eyes again to fully enjoy her touch. He didn't want anything to distract him from the delicious sensations she was waking in him.

Then suddenly Laurelin's hand became hesitant.

 **« Are you sure... my King ? »** She asked in a low voice.

 _Are you sure about your so-called feelings for me ? Are you sure you truly want this ?_ She wanted to ask him these questions, and so many more questions, but the lump in her throat kept her from talking.

When Thorin heard her call him _my King,_ he scowled slightly. A king, yes. He was a king. And she was – in the eyes of most people – just his servant. He didn't want people to mutter in her back and to make her the victim of their piteful tongues. He didn't want her to suffer because of the love he was having for her. Suddenly, he felt bad for wanting something that might cause her harm some day, and then another question arose in his mind : _Can she truly take me seriously ? Or does she think I'm only talking about love to put her into my bed ? Will it truly be possible for her to believe that I, as a King, can love a serving girl ? Or will she always doubt me ?_

He needed to make sure she had total confidence in him, before doing anything else. He looked at her very tenderly.

 **« Laurelin, please call me Thorin... »** He said. **« When we are just the two of us : I want you to see me like a man, not a king. »** A small smile stretched his lips again, and Laurelin responded with a smile of her own, while her fingers kept stroking Thorin's cheek. Thorin gently grabbed this hand, and put a kiss on her small fingers. His smile grew broader and stronger. **« And yes, Laurelin. Yes, I am sure. »**

He knew it was probably not enough to wipe out all her doubts, but it made him feel better to say it aloud. He would prove his sincerity to her later, if – and only if – she decided to give him a chance.

 **« But right now you are in pain.»** He continued, looking at her bruised face and shoulder. **« Oìn probably told you so already, but have you thought about putting a cold cloth over the bruises ? »** He asked worriedly. **« It would soothe the pain, and help you feel better. »**

 _I couldn't feel any better than I am feeling right now..._ She thought, but of course she didn't say it aloud. She closed her eyes when she felt Thorin's fingers close around her own, and sighed softly. His touch was so pleasant, so wonderful. It was making her feel so good. It emboldened her and gave her the courage to act, in spite of her natural shyness and reserve. She put her hands on Thorin's strong forearm and stroked it slowly, with the tip of her fingers, smiling as his hairs tickled her softly.

Her caresses felt so good that Thorin almost drifted into a blissful drowsiness. Laurelin's presence was enough to make him forget about everything else : no more pain, no more soreness, no more exhaustion. She was the only thing that existed in the world.

After a long moment of hesitation, Laurelin spoke at last.

 **« I think you are probably right, some cold water would do some good... »** She said, her voice uncertain.

But before she could get up or even move, Thorin jumped on his legs.

 **« Wait here... »** He told her gently but firmly. **« You are hurt and wounded. You need rest. »**

Pleasantly suprised, Laurelin nodded nonetheless and watched Thorin, with a smile on her lips, as he grabbed a small basin and filled it with cold water from the bucket. Then, he found a pice of cloth in one corner of her bedroom, and brought everything back to the bed where Laurelin was waiting for him. He put the basin on the ground, then he sat next to her on the bed and dipped the cloth into the cold water. Then, he hesitated for a moment he had never taken care of anybody like that, he didn't really know how to do it. He wanted to do everything right, of course – he truly wanted to ease her pain – but he felt a bit awkward. After a short while, though, he removed the hair from Laurelin's face, and pressed the wet cloth against her bruises. Several droplets ran down her brow, before getting lost in her light brown hair.

Laurelin closed her eyes when the wet cold rag soothed away the sharp pain, turning it into a dull and bearable throbbing. Then she opened her eyes again and watched Thorin first he looked back, then his attention went on his work again. He wrung the piece of cloth and collected a few drops of water on his thumb, then he softly stroked Laurelin's lips with this thumb and allowed the drops of water to roll onto the bruises she was sporting there.

Then his eyes met Laurelin's once more.

 **« How are you feeling ? »** He asked, very seriously, with concern on his face.

Laurelin didn't answer, but her looks and her face were eloquent enough. He knew at once that she was truly enjoying this. But then – because she felt her silence might not be enough – she tenderly kissed his thumb to make it clear how much she enjoyed his ministrations.

Thorin felt thrilled by her reaction. While he kept pressing the wet cloth against Laurelin's bruises, he leaned slightly closer over her and kissed her again. Once more : He was very careful not to hurt her as he slowly toyed with the unbruised parts of her soft and tender lips.

Laurelin closed her eyes, but not completely, because she wanted to be able to see Thorin while he kissed her. She _needed_ to see him, to make sure it was truly happening. Each of his kisses was like a firework exploding in her heart, and her eyes were shining as brightly as the stars in the sky. After a while : Thorin broke the kiss, and wiped the other parts of Laurelin's face with the wet towel. Her skin was not feverish, thanks to Oìn's potions, but the coolness was still pleasant for her. Then Thorin dipped it into the water again, and slowly wiped it over the cut on Laurelin's eyebrow he did so with infinite tenderness. She loved to be treated like that. The pain slowly receded, and she felt much better than she had before Thorin had started taking care of her.

Thorin let the wet cloth rest on Laurelin's brow, and searched for something else to keep soothing her other pains, on the other parts of her face. He saw nothing within reach, and since he didn't want to get up and leave Laurelin's side, he just dipped the end of his sleeve into the cold water of the bucket. Then he moved his arm closer to his face, and pressed the wet sleeve against Laurelin's temple after a few moments, he rolled it into a ball between his fingers, and dabbed her eyebrow again. When he was done, it was slightly tinged with blood, so Thorin decided to leave the wound alone. It was clean already, anyways. Oìn had done a good job on it. So he just concentrated on other part of her face, on the places that were bruised without open skin.

Thorin was so concentrated on his task that he didn't even notice how close his body now was to Laurelin's. His was leaning so close that his chest almost touched her breasts, who were bare and free of any corset under the thin fabric of the nightshirt. His legs, too, were pressing against Laurelin's legs, and they had slightly pulled her nighshirt up, revealing a small patch of bare skin on her calves. But Thorin saw none of it, because his mind was compltely focused on her face, and her eyes – her beautiful, big doe eyes, framed with thick black lashes.

Laurelin, on her side, was very aware of how close Thorin was to her. Goosebumps stood up all over her skin, but it had nothing to do with being cold. She looked him straight in the yes, and for the first time she wasn't afraid to let him openly see her love for him. Thorin looked back at her with just as much love, and the fact that his strong, imposing body was so close to hers made her feel even more giddy, as if she had drank too much wine – or as if she had just been struck by a lightning bolt. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as Thorin kept refreshing her bruised face, using both the piece of cloth and his sleeve, dipping them regularly in the cold water. Then Thorin moved over to Laurelin's hands, who were scratched open in several places. He wrapped one of them in the wet rag, and took dabbed the other one with his wet and cold sleeve, as he had done with her face. Then he sat himself more comfortably on the bed, and ended up straddling one of her legs. Insinctively, he was stroking her wrist with his thumb, but his eyes never left her face.

Laurelin smiled at him with love and tenderness, her eyes groing from his eyes to his thumb, then to his eyes again.

 **« Are there other pains you want me to soothe ? »** Thorin asked her, when he was finished with her hands.

Laurelin thought about it for a while, in silence. He had already taken care of most of her wounds and bruises, but she didnt want it to stop : It was so good to have Thorin fuss over her like that, she wanted it to last forever. Besides, she was afraid that if she said no immediately, Thorin might take it as a sign that she didn't enjoy it – and this was the last thing she wanted. To prove him how much she trusted him, she slipped one of her hands out of Thorin's and grabbed the hem of her nightshirt, that she pulled up very slowly, just over her knees. Her eyes never left Thorin's face as she did so. She had one big bruise on her right calf, where she had hot one of the stairs, and several scratched on the left knee, but at this precise moment she didn't really have time to think about her wounds her mind was focused on Thorin, and on the fact that she was showing him her legs for the first time. The were rather slender compared to the legs of other Dwarf women, but they were also well rounded, very appealing.

Thorin was very surprised to see her act so boldly. He hadn't expected her to do something like this. He watched her in silence, feeling very pleased that she trusted him enough to unveil parts of her body in front of him. His eyes were wide open, his heart beating like the hooves of a wild horse. He hadn't expected things to become so intimate, when he had rushed into her bedroom – his intentions had been to talk to her, but now he was there, on the bed with her, hypnotized by the beauty of her long, feminine legs. He wanted nothing but to put his hands on them and to caress them, to see if they were as soft as they looked his hands were suddenly moist with sweat, as he refrained the strong urge to put them all over her bare skin.

 _Calm down._ He chided himself. _Rushing headlessly into an even deeper physical intimacy will bring you nothing good. And she's hurt, besides. Take your time. Go slowly. Act like a man, not like a hungry beast._

He took a long, deep breath, and then hedipped the piece of cloth into the cold water once more. It's only when he was about to dab one of the wounds that he realized he was actually straddling her right leg. He removed his intruding leg immediately, wondering why she hadn't complained to feel his weight on her leg. Maybe she even like this closeness, he wondered, and that thought made him feel very hot, as if the temperature in the room had suddenly climbed to tropical warmth and stuffiness. He gently grabbed both of Laurelin's legs, and placed them side by side so that he could place the cloth on both her knees at the same time.

 **« Is it good like that ? »** He asked with a concerned look in his blue eyes. When Laurelin nodded and smiled at him, he realized she was totally relaxed and comfortable in his presence. He decided to be a bit bolder : he opened his right hand and put it on the outside of her left knee, before letting it slide down her leg, till he reached her ankle. He noticed that her foot was cold, and it brought him back to reality : he remembered how late it was, and how tired Laurelin probably was. After everything that had happened to her today, she needed the comfort of her bed, and long hours of sleep to recover from her wounds. Yet on the other side, Thorin couldn't bring himself to part from Laurelin. He didn't want to break the lovely intimacy they had been sharing so far. His fingers were absent-mindedly stroking her ankle , while he was trying to calm down the turmoil of emotions in his head. His reason and his feelings were battling like never before, and it was just plain impossible for him to take a decision.

By Mahal, how he would have loved to stay here and spend the night with her ! Of course it was impossible, he knew it – what would she think of him ? Besides, he was a King and he couldn't affort to act like that. If anybody found out, the scandal would spread like wildfire all over Erebor within a few hours. And he didn't want to frighten Laurelin, either. He would not invite himself into her bed without her asking it of him. But on the other side, he couldn't deny that he was craving to fall asleep with Laurelin in his arms, he was craving it like he had never craved anything before.

Laurelin was watching him carefully while he struggled with his own feelings. One of her hands crawled over to where Thorin's hand was resting, and grabbed it tenderly. Their fingers touched and then intertwined, and in the end their palms rested against each other. Laurelin's thumb was gently stoking Thorin's hand, merveling at the strength she could feel in them, wondering how many hours he had practiced with his sword to had such calluses on his skin. She noticed his hand was icy cold, too, but that was small wonder since his sleeve was still dripping with cold water.

 **« You should put on dry clothes. »** She told him in a deep, contented voice. **« There's a few shirts from you over there. The washing girl just gave them back to me : they are clean and warm and dry. »**

Thorin's eyes went to the fireplace, and he saw that the fire was slowly dying out a few glowering embers still remained in the hearth, but they would not last long, and somebody needed to put some more wood into it to keep it alive. Yet Thorin was so reluctant to leave Laurelin's side that even the mere thought of getting up to feed the fire – or to fetch one of his dry shirts – was too much. He was afraid that if he left her, the intimacy of this moment would be ruined when he came back to her, but on the other side he truly was cold. His sleeve was still wet, and the dying fire was not enough to warm him anymore. He was about to get up to get his shirt, when suddenly he noticed that Laurelin opened her mouth as if to talk, but closed it again almost immediately, without saying a word. She gently squeezed Thorin's hand, but then suddenly she averted her eyes and looked away from him for a while she gazed at the curtains hanging around her bed, and at the pile of furs and blankets on the foot of her bed. Thorin wondered what was on her mind, but he didn't want to put any pressure on her so he just waited patiently, in silence, till her eyes came on him again. Their gazes met, and suddenly Thorin understood why she suddenly looked so troubled. She didn't want to spend the night alone, either. She craved for Thorin's company as much as Thorin craved for her company. She wanted him to stay as much as he wanted to stay. She didn't say it aloud, but he could read her eyes as easily as if they were an open book.

Thorin felt a rush of excitement and joy run though his whole body, but another part of him was also very surprised. He wouldn't have expected Laurelin to express such a desire : she was a very shy person, very modest, and she had probably never spent a night in the company of a man. Yet here she was, secretly wishing the same things he did, and suddenly it didn't sound so hopeless anymore. Suddenly Thorin realized it might really happen.

 **« Thorin... »** Laurelin whispered, so softly her voice was almost inaudible.

It was agony for her, and new tears filled her eyes. She wanted him to stay for the night – she wanted it _so desperately_ – but she knew he was too decent, too respectful to stay without her open consent. She would have to ask for it, yet she had no idea how to ask him... she had no idea where to find the courage to make such a plea... and the idea that he might leave her just because she didn't have the nerve to speak out was horrible.

 **« Thorin... »** She repeated, at a loss for any other word to say.

The king of Erebor shivered with pleasure when he heard her say his name, for the very first time... Now they had really taken their relationship to a new level : no more king and his servant, but just a man and a woman. Instinctively, Thorin leaned closer to Laurelin and kissed her on the lips again, both firmly and very softly.

Laurelin's tears were replaced by a gleaming happiness as she felt Thorin's lips on her own they were warm and surprisingly soft, and Thorin's beard tickled her gently. It didn't last very long, though, and when Thorin was finished he looked at Laurelin with a broad smile on his face, before kissing her on her bruised temple.

 **« I will stay, my lovely. »** He whispered into her ear, and by saying the words she wanted to hear he put an end to her internal struggle. **« I can't... I won't be able to find sleep, if you are not at my side. I was afraid you might not want it, but now... »** He smiled warmly at her. **« Now I see that we both want the same thing. I will stay at your side, and we will fall asleep together, and tomorrow your face will be the first thing I will see when I open my eyes. »**

His heart was pounding in his chest as he looked at her, waiting for her answer.

Laurelin's relaxed as soon as he had spoken : not only would he spend the night here with her, but he had also spared her the pain of having to ask for it. A smile blossomed on her lips, and next moment she felt Thorin's thumb on them, stroking them as softly as softly as he would have stroked the wings of a butterfly. Laurelin closed her eyes to savour his touch, then she opened them again to watch Thorin's face. He was craving to kiss her again, it was obvious, but for some reason he looked hesitant this time. Laurelin didn't say a word, but her smile and her eyes were enough she urged Thorin to give in to his desires, urged him to kiss her once more – and he was glad to obey. He kissed first her lower lip, then her upper lip, then both lips at the same time, taking his time and allowing her to savour every second. A few tears escaped from Laurelin's closed eyes, and when Thorin paused she decided to take the initiative of kissing him back, for a very long time. Her hand came to rest on Thorin's cheek, and their noses rubbed against each other in the process.

Seeing her respond to his kiss with such fervour made Thorin feel very warm from the inside, as if somebody had lit a fire within his chest. Yet after a while he moved away from her, and sat up straight.

 **« I'll be back in a moment. »** He said as he got up from the bed. He gathered the basin of cold water and the piece of cloth that was still on Laurelin's bruised knees, and cleared everything away in silence. Then he removed his wet shirt and hung it over the back of a chair, next to the fire, before grabbing a few logs of firewood that he put into the hearth to rekindle the flames.

Laurelin couldn't help but admire the beauty of his broad chest as he worked it was muscled and hairy, and even when he walked back to the bed, a dry shirt in his hands, she didn't look away from him. She was as hypnotized by the bare skin in front of her. When Thorin sat back on the bed, though, her eyes were attracted by the pale round scars on Thorin's abdomen there were two of them, and they were perfectly identical. And Laurelin knew he had the same on his back, even if she couldn't see those right now. It was here that the Warg's teeth had pierced the skin as the beast had closed its jaws on Thorin, almost killing him. She had heard the stories from Thorin's companions – Bofur was particularly talkative – and also from Thorin himself, one evening, while they had been playing cards together. Even just thinking about it made her shiver. She stretched out her hand and gently stroked the two rounded marks on his skin.

Thorin watched her fingers as they brushed against his scarred skin, touched by her gentleness and by the trust she was showing him. But then the memory of the day he had gotten these scars came back to his mind he remembered the quest for Erebor, the endless cold nights in the wild, the fear and the loneliness, and the heavy weight of his people's futures weigning so hard on his shoulders. He had almost died, that day, when the ugly yellow teeth of the Warg had closed around him, trying to cut him in two. He had sunk into a darkness that was closer to death than to mere unconsciousness, yet somehow he had survived. He had dreamt of Laurelin, and she had been the one giving him enough strength to come back to life. She had been his guardian angel.

 _But now these harships are over_ He reminded himself, and suddenly his smile was back. _Now Laurelin is here, and she loves you, and nothing will ever stand between us again._

He looked down at her, and their eyes met. It was as if Thorin had been able to see straight into her soul. He saw how proud of him she was, and how grateful too, for all the things he had done. Was he not the man who had retaken Erebor ? The man who had faced both the dragon and the Pale Orc ? He felt his own heart swell with pride when he realized she admired him for his courage. He was both a warrior and a king, and no compliment could have made him happier than Laurelin's true and genuine appreciation. It made him feel strong and invincible. But Thorin also saw pain in her eyes he knew she had been in his service long enough to recognize a grievous injury, and this knowledge made her cringe as if she could feel his pain. Slowy, she looked out for his other scars, remembering the day he had left her behind in the Blue Mountains. This day, she had feared he would not come back. Actually, she had been _almost sure_ he would not come back, and now – as she contemplated his scars – she realized how close he had truly been to dying. How close she had been to losing him. She wished she could just erase all those bad memories, but they were etched in her memory just like the scars were etched into Thorin's skin. The past would never be forgotten, never, not even if they lived a thousand years.

Thorin watched her eyes grow sad, and it woke his own sadness. He remembered the fights and the cold bite of steel, and the cries of his friends as they had all fought side by side during the Battle of Five Armies... And then he saw Laurelin's pain, too – the pain she had felt during Thorin's absence, when she had woken up in an empty house every morning, with no one to talk to, with no one to cheer her up or to distract her from this daily agony. Thorin could only imagine how hard it was for her, to stay behind and to wait desperately, day after day, for some word or some news. When he had left her, he had no idea she was feeling such a deep love for him, he had no idea she would suffer so much from his absence. Now he understood better why she had ran after him. Now he understood better why it had been so hard for her to let him go, and his heart melted with sadness. And what if he hadn't come back ? What would have happened, then ?

He looked at her and shook his head, very slowly.

 _No._ He thought.

No, he wouldn't let grief ruin what he was sharing with Laurelin right now. He pushed away the bad memories, and focused on the present. He focused on the happiness, because nothing else mattered to him anymore. With Laurelin, he felt like he had found his true place in this world. He felt whole and complete. Being able to love – and to be loved back – was a wonderful feeling, something that tasted as sweet as honey on his tongue. He smiled at her, before slipping into the clean, dry shirt. It still smelled of lavender soap, and he felt instantly warmer.

Then, after a few moments of hesitation, Thorin grabbed Laurelin by the arm to help her get up from the bed. She complied with a smile, still unable to believe he would actually spend the night with her. Thorin grabbed the sheet and the blankets, and pulled at them to open the bed. Then he looked at Laurelin, unsure about what would follow. He had never been in such a situation before. He took Laurelin's hand hesitantly, almost shyly, to help her sit down on the bed. She squeezed his hand in response. They looked at each other a bit awkwardly, and then Thorin sat onto the bed as well, at the very edge, as far from Laurelin as possible because he had no clue how he was supposed to act right now. Who would lay down first ? He supposed it should be Laurelin, since it was her bed after all, but she didn't move and Thorin didn't want to pressure her. And then – would they snuggle against each other, or keep some distance between them ? Would they have to do something special before falling asleep ? How close did Laurelin ant to be with him ?

 _Maybe I should sleep over the blankets, out of modesty ?_ He wondered. _Maybe it would make her feel more comfortable if there was no direct physical touch ?_

But Laurelin felt otherwise.

 **« Please settle down... »** She told him hesitantly, in a low voice, showing the empty space in the bed, right next to her. She had never been so close to him, and she had never been in this situation before – neither with Thorin, nor with any other man. She didn't know what she was supposed to do or to say, but the fact that Thorin looked just as hesitant as her reassured her.

Thorin nodded briefly, then he obeyed. He lay down on the side of the bed that was closest to the wall, so that Laurelin would be free to get up any time without having to crawl all over him to do so. He decided to lay on his back for a start it wasn't his favourite sleeping position, but he felt it was the most appropriate one, given the situation. Laurelin followed him into the bed at once, and chose to lay on her back as well, quite close to him. Thorin grabbed one of her hands and squeezed it gently, then he used his second hand to grab the sheets and pull them over their bodies.

When they were both warmly tucked in the bed, Thorin rolled on his side to look at Laurelin, still holding her hand. Slowly, very slowly, he came closer and closer to her, till finally their lips touched again. They kissed gently for a while, and Thorin's free hand came to stroke Laurelin's beardless cheek, with infinite tenderness... and then Thorin's hand moved over to her neck, her shoulders, her ribs and finally her waist, where it stopped.

Laurelin kissed him back with love and passion, her pain completely forgotten now. She hesitated, then she stretched out her hand to put it on Thorin's chest she could feel the hard muscles just underneath the skin, and the beating of his strong heart.

Then Thorin stopped kissing her and released Laurelin's hand. He rolled onto his back again, but he stretched out his right arm and invited her to rest her head on it, using it as a pillow. Laurelin smiled at him.

 **« Just a moment... »** She said, and she sat up to close the curtains that hung around her bed. Suddenly it was almost completely dark, except for one single candle that stood on the shelf over the bed.

Thorin watched her, a smile on his lips. The atmosphere was much more cozy and intimate, now. He felt like they were cut from the rest of the world, just Laurelin and him in a soft cocoon of furs and warm blankets.

When Laurelin was done, she turned to face Thorin again. She rested her head on his arm, as he had invited her to do, and put her hand flat on Thorin's chest, enjoying the warmth of his skin under her palm. Thorin curled his arm around her back, and held her tight against himself, both because he wanted to feel her against him and because her wanted her to feel loved and cherished in his arms. She cuddled herself against his big, massive body, feeling safe and secure even though she had never before been so close to a man. When she was comfortably settled against him, she let out a small sigh of happiness and well-being.

Thorin smiled as he saw her so at ease, with his lips but also with his eyes, who sparkled as if they were lit by tiny candles of their own. He could feel Laurelin's heart beat against his chest, so strong and vigorous and full of life. It was a wonderful feeling. It made him feel blissfully happy and contented, after so many years of waiting to tell Laurelin about his feelings.

Laurelin, on her side, was feeling very happy as well for the first time in her life, she didn't have to be afraid anymore. She didn't have to hide her feelings anymore she didn't have to pretend her love for him didn't exist. For the first time in her life, she coulb be truly open and honest. She moved her hand slightly, so it rested over Thorin's heart. She could feel it beat, slow and strong. She aso felt her own hand rise and fall again with each of Thorin's steady breathing. It was a slow, comforting movement, and it rocked her into a state of utter bliss and happiness. She felt as good as a newborn baby being cradled in a loving mother's arms.

Thorin pulled his arm tighter around her, and started stroking her arm with the tip of his fingers, in slow circles. He was barely just brushing her skin, his touch as light as a feather, yet goose-bumps started covering Laurelin's skin. She closed her eyes to better enjoy the sensations he was waking in her. She didn't want anything to distract her from Thorin, she didn't want anythong to distract her from her dreams come true.

 **« I love you... »** Thorin whispered, his voice barely a whisper, because he didn't want to break the peace and quiet of this lovely moment. Yet his tone was firm and decided, to make sure she understood that he genuinely meant the words he had just said aloud. He didn't want any doubt ti linger in her mind.

When Laurelin heard these words, she opened her eyes at once for a few moments she was stunned and shocked – and then suddenly her heart exploded with joy. Her mouth opened like the mouth of a fish out of the water, and she looked up at Thorin, her eyes filled with tears, so she saw nothing but a blurry white face next to hers. She leaned closer to him and brushed his lips with her own, but she was too upset to offer him a real kiss. Their eyes met, and a wave of desire and boldness rushed through Laurelin. Her lips left trailed slowly to his chin, over his thick black beard that tickled her, then they wandered to his neck where she kissed him with a soft tenderness, while her hand stroked his cheek.

Thorin shivered as he felt this gentle kiss, unable to believe this was truly happening. Ever since Laurelin had come to Erebor, he had hoped she would love him back – hoped it, but never actually believed it could come true one day. But now she was here, in his arms, with her soft pink lips kissing him in the neck. The love and tenderness he could read in her eyes made his heart swell with fondness. He closed his eyes and decided to stop thinking about anything, to better enjoy what she was doing to him. A small moan escaped his lips as he sighed.

Then Laurelin rested her head on Thorin's arm again, but a gently smile was still on her lips. She pressed her legs and her cold feet against Thorin's warm legs, seeking out his body warmth and trying to get as close as possible to him.

Thorin kissed her on the lips again, very slowly – he had been unable to resist the temptation. Then he slowly bent his legs so that his feet were at the same level as Laurelin's ankles he used his toes to stroke her ankles, very softly, while his mouth didn't stop kissing her. He was careful to be very gentle, because of her bruises, and he also did his best to go slowly, because he didn't want to break the beauty of this moment by rushing anything – yet he couldn't help but kiss her again and again, like a thirsty man who found water after days and days of wandering in the desert. He kissed her on both lips, a series of short but passionate kisses that left them both shivering and trembling with emotions.

Laurelin kept her hands on Thorin's chest, feeling how his heart was beating faster and faster. Knowing that she was able to produce such a reaction in him made her feel giddy and exhilarated, and she entangled her legs with his. After a few akward moments when they both tried to find the most comfortable position while being so close, their legs and feet got used to be entwined and Laurelin felt like she had found the place where she wanted to stay for the rest of her life. Her own feet warmed up in contact with Thorin's warmer legs.

After a while, Thorin moved slightly to lay on his back again. Laurelin put her head on his shoulder, which was surprisingly comfortable. Their legs still tangled, he took one of her hands in his own, and put it on his stomach. Here as well, there was hard muscle under the layer of skin and hairs. Laurelin's fingers curled up around Thorin's, and her smile grew even wider.

Thorin turned his head so that his cheek pressed against the top of Laurelin's head. A strand of her unbound hair tickled him, but he was too lazy to remove it right now he was afraid that if he broke the magic of this moment it would be lost forever.

 **« Good night, my Love... »** He whispered, wondering why it had taken him so long to say these words aloud. If he had not been such a coward, they could have spent many more nights together. But he refused to dwell on these lost moments, and kept his mind focused on what they were sharing now.

Laurelin couldn't believe he had actually called her _my Love_. Part of her was still unable to accept it. Part of her was still convinced it was all a beautiful dream. She turned her face slightly, and kissed Thorin in the neck several times, with infinite tenderness.

 **« Good night, my King... »** She answered, in such a loving voice that he didn't even notice she had called him my King instead of Thorin.

He closed his eyes to enjoy her shy kisses and her tenderness. Another soft moan escaped  
his lips.

 **« Mmmm, my Love... »** His arm closed even tighter around her. He felt a wave of strong desire rise in him, but he knew it was not the moment for this, so he just kept her close to him and enjoyed the tenderness and intimacy of this moment. The mere fact that she was loving him back – and proving this love with kisses – was a miracle. He couldn't ask for any more. He didn't even want anything more, for now. She was in his amrs and nothing else mattered.

Laurelin gasped in pleasure when she felt Thorin's strong arm curl around the shape of her body. She closed her eyes too, her lips still so close to the skin of his neck that they almost touched it. Slowly, very slowly, she felt her eyes grow heavy. She had had an exhausting journey, and she knew sleep would claim her soon, but at least she would fall asleep happy, tonight. Hearing Thorin declare his love for her, and having him act on this love, was something she wouldn't have expected, but what surprised her even more was the fact that she had the courage to tell him about her own love for him.

 _And now everything is clear between us..._ She reflected. _Never again will I have to hide my feelings. Never again will I have to avert my eyes for fear of him discovering what truly lies in my heart. Never again will I go to bed sad and lonely, craving for his arms._

Thorin squeezed her hand. He kissed it gently, first on the knuckles and then on the wrist. Then his fingers closed over her fingers, and Laurelin rested her palm on Thorin's chest once more, where it would stay for the rest of the night.

Thorin closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep. He knew he would spend a wonderful night : with Laurelin in his arms, he had everything he desired.


	31. BEING A COUPLE

Next morning, Thorin woke up when he felt Laurelin stirring beside him. The weren't really asleep anymore, but neither were they quite awake yet ; their minds were still lost in this delicious state between sleep and awareness, and the last remnants of their sweet dreams were still vivid, full of colours. But in the end, it was Laurelin who opened the eyes first. Her head was still on Thorin's strong arm, using it as a pillow, but they had moved during their sleep and their positions had changed slightly. The arm that was around Laurelin when they had fallen asleep was now stretched out on the pillow, and Thorin's other hand – who had been holding Laurelin's the previous night – was now resting on his stomach. And Laurelin's hand had moved, too. It was now on Thorin's broad chest. His hair tickled her softly, but she didn't want to move. It felt too good to be laying there beside him. She watched his slow, deep breathing for a long moment, feeling relaxed and serene and happy.

After a while, Thorin felt her gaze on him, and that's what woke him up for good. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. A broad smile stretched his lips when he realized everything had been true not a dream, no, but reality. Laurelin was truly there, laying next to him in the same bed. Every detail of what had happened the previous day came back to his memory, overwhelming him with happiness. He moved his hand slightly, so that his fingers touched Laurelin's.

 **« Did you sleep well... Sweetheart ? »** He asked in a whisper, his voice still hoarse after long hours of sleep. **« How are you feeling ? »**

 **« I am fine... »** She replied truthfully, even if the word 'fine' was not nearly strong enough to express what she was feeling right now. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness, and her smile was so warm that it would have melted the permanent snows on the highest peaks of Ered Luin. Then she winced slightly, because the pain had woken up as well. She would have to take another swallow of Oìn's potion as soon as possible, to numb it again.

Thorin sighed deeply, then he turned to lay on his side and he buried his face in Laurelin's soft neck. His arm – the one she wasn't resting her head on – wrapped itself around her waist, where it stayed. Thorin didn't want to leave her again – not now, not ever. He wanted to stay at her side for the rest of his life.

Laurelin welcomed his tender hug and put her arms around him as well, trying to convey to him how much he meant to her, how much she cared for him, how much she loved him. Her hand moved up to his head, to stroke his temple and his thick, black hair. Then she kissed him on the brow it was a long, loving kiss. Thorin moaned softly in response, then Laurelin rested her forehead against his, and they stayed like that for a very long time. Thorin's hand rubbed Laurelin's back and shoulders, and then her neck. He loved to feel his skin under his fingers. She relaxed, and slowly drifted into a superficial sleep again. Thorin soon followed her.

Almost half an hour had gone by when they woke for the second time. The sun was already high in the sky, and a sudden fear seized Thorin : what if the serving maids had started roaming the corridors ? How would he go back to his own bedroom unnoticed ? And what if somebody had knocked on his door and no one had answered ? He was still sleepy and he didn't feel up to explaining to anyone what he had been doing in Laurelin's personal bedchamber. He would have to think about finding the right words, before speaking of this to anybody.

With a displeased groan, Thorin gently slipped his arm out from under Laurelin's head, then – since she was laying between him and the edge of the bed – he crawled carefully over her still dozing, body. He kissed her on the lips in passing, very softly, and his fingers stroked her cheeks.

Laurelin welcomed this morning kiss and smiled up at him. She lifted her hand and rested it on Thorin's wrist, her thumb softly stroking his skin. She wasn't afraid to look him in the eyes, now that she didn't have to hide her feelings from him anymore.

 **« Are you hungry ? »** Thorin asked, and Laurelin couldn't help but smile to see him so thoughtful.

Laurelin nodded in response in truth, she wasn't hungry but famished, since she hadn't eaten much the day before. The events of the day – and also Oìns pain-killer potion – had made her slightly queasy, and she had only managed to force down a slice of bread with some cheese, but now her stomach was empty and it growled in protest when Thorin talked about food.

The King of Erebor knew that Laurelin was still considered a serving girl by almost everybody in Erebor. Of course she was lodged in the royal aisle itself, which was a very high honour, and she even had a personal bedroom – an immense privilege for a maid, since most of them had to share their personal space with their masters or with other servants – but in the end her status hadn't changed yet : She was still a serving girl. And Thorin knew she would only be tended to at the very end of the morning, when all the other important Dwarves of the royal aisle would have had their breakfast. He didn't like the idea of her having to wait so long.

Thorin sighed, and pulled the blankets back over Laurelin's body. Then he kissed her on her forehead before walking away from his bed :

 **« I'll be back in a moment... »** He said, with a smile of complicity.

He had to go back to his bedroom before his own breakfast would be served, if he didn't want to raise any suspicions among the kitchen girls. And he knew there would be plenty enough for the both of them, so it was happy and light-hearted that he returned to his chambers. He washed quickly and put on some fresh garments, then he heard the awaited knock on the door. He took the tray with his breakfast, and smiled as he saw there was some honey bread. Laurelin loved honey bread, even though she rarely got to eat some.

Thorin stretched, and smiled.

Life had never seemed so beautiful to him.

Four months went by like that, made of secret meetings and stolen kisses. Thorin didn't want their union to be official right away he wanted to keep Laurelin for himself for a while, just for himself, without anybody knowing or interfering. No big wedding yet. No official introduction to the people, no endless ceremonies to welcome her into her new position of Queen. It would come, eventually, but for now Thorin wanted to keep things simple and easy. It was their sweet secret, and the thrill of such an adventure added even more spice to their new relationship. Of course, keeping such a secret was a difficult taks. Thorin and Laurelin lived in the royal aisle of Erebor, along with Dìs, Fili and Kili. Each of them had servants of their own who were roaming the corridors day and night, and there were also kitchen girls bringing the food, and young boyw bringing buckets o hot water for the baths, and maids with brooms and rags to clean the bedroom, and other maids who refilled the oil lamps fixed on the walls of the corridor as soon as they were empty... Thorin had never before cared about the number of people walking past his door, in fact he had barely noticed them, but now he did notice them. Every time he wanted to join Laurelin, he has to be careful that nobody could see him. If anybody knew about thezir relatuionship before they were married, ugly rumours would spread through Erebor like wildfire, and this was the last thing Thorin wanted because he knew it would hurt Laurelin. The idea that some might call her names behind her back wqas unbearable.

Of course, servants were not the only thing to worry about. There was Dìs, too. She never asked any questions, but she had that knowing smile on her lips every times her eyes fell on Laurelin, and Thorin suspected that she had guessed what was going on – or at least part of it. He never spoke openly to her about it, though, so he didn't know how much she really knew. This uncertainty bothered him a bit, but he was sure of one thing : Dìs would not betray him. He loved and trusted her, and he knew she would never talk about anything so important to anybody, not without Thorin's approval. As for Fili and Kili, who were still Thorin's heirs as long as he had no children of his own, Thorin didn't fear too much : Fili was busy courting a young lady of his own, so his mind was definitely elsewhere, and Kili was so focused on learning how to act like a true prince of Erebor that he didn't have much time to wonder what was happening between his uncle and his maid.

Dwalin was the only one who knew with certainty even though the bald warrior was no brother by the blood, he had been a friend and a brother-in-arms to Thorin, for many years. The king had confided his love for Laurelin to him, long ago, and it was very naturally that he had also confided his relationship wqith her to him. He knew his secret was safe, with Dwalin. He'd die rather than betraying his friend's secret.

During those fout months of secrecy, Thorin learned to know more about Laurlin – in which position she liked to sleep, how she looked in the mroning when she just woke up, which tea she liked drinking before going to sleep... He also discovered how pleasant it was to be in a relationship with a woman, to know that somebody was waiting for him every night... To be welcomed home by a smile every evening... To be pampered by Laurelin's caring hands, and to be allowed to pamper her whenever he felt the desire to do so... To feel so good with her that he never wanted to part from her again... it was a wonderful feeling, and he knew – just by looking in her eyes – that it made her happy too. The sparkles in her big brown eyes were all it took to make his heart race with unbridled emotion, and the smile on her face could cheer him up even after a long and exhausting day. In Thorin's mind, Laurelin was not a servant anymore, and he didn't want to see her work for him again – never. He didn't even want her to _pretend_ working for him, but since she was hurt she would not resume her duties for a while, giving Thorin some time to dwell on how to make their relationship official.

They didn't exactly fall into a routine – such a thing would have been impossible, given the number of people they constantly had to hide from – yet some things soon became a habit. Like Thorin's first words, every morning when he woke up.

 **« Good morning, my Laurelin, »** he whispered, his voice still hoarse with sleepiness, and then he kissed her softly on the forehead, on the temple, on the cheeks – or on the lips. Usually it was enough to waker her, but sometimes she was so sound asleep it wasn't enough. Then Thorin called her name, very softly, till she stirred in the bed. **« Laurelin, my sweet... Laurelin... »**

When Thorin had to get up particularly early to do his duties he let her sleep, of course – he just kissed her softly on the top of her head, on these days, and whispered a sweet « I love you » into her ears without waking her – but all in all such days were quite rare, and most of the times he could get out of bed at a decent hour. Part of him always felt guilty when he woke her up in the morning – she was wounded, after all, and she needed rest – but he would have been unable to refrain himself. He had waited for her for such a long time... He had waited for her for _years_... So now that she was here, in his arms, he would have been completely unable to get out of bed without sharing at least a few moments of intimacy with her.

Once Laurelin was more or less awake, he was always very gentle and thoughtful. He loved to take her hand in his, and to watch her fondly while they talked till they were both completely awake. After a while, Laurelin always cuddled against him, and Thorin always hugged her back to show her just how much he loved her. And he kissed her, again and again, making her moan in pleasure.

 **« My Thorin, »** she kept whispering in delight, as her arms closed tighter around his body.

Thorin loved nothing as much as hearing her say his name. Sometimes he just stared back at her with love in his eyes, but sometimes a few words escaped his lips as well.

 **« Yes, your Thorin... »** He said. **« Your Thorin who loves you to madness. Your Thorin who belongs to you for now and for eternity. »**

He loved it when he felt her small arms wrap around his body, and he always responded by pulling her even closer and by rolling her onto her back, with him on top of her. Then he kissed her again and again, while his fingers played with her long, messy hair.

Some days, though, when Thorin had no duties that required him getting up early, Laurelin was the first to wake up in the morning. In this case, she loved to watch him sleep for a while – his closed eyes, his serene face, the way his chest moved as he breathed slowly and steadily... She still couldn't believe it was truly happening. She still couldn't believe he really loved her. Yet it was no dream. He was truly there, in her bed, next to her. This thought always made her blood boil with passion and tenderness. She always started kissing him while he was still asleep, very softly, tasting the softness of his lips till he finally started moaning and groaning in pleasure. She delighted when she heard him say her name, his voice still hoarse and raspy from sleep. And then, after saying her name, he always said _I love you_. Always. He never forgot. And every time it made her heart flutter as if it were made of butterflies.

Then, after a few moments of kissing, Thorin always grabbed her hand and opened his eyes, to look her straight in the eyes. The smile as he saw her was one of pure bliss and happiness.

 **« What a wonderful way to start the day... »** He always said.

Laurelin had see Thorin's eyes sparkle with anger and bitterness for so many years, after the fall of Erebor, and sometimes they had been like a pair of bottomless pits, but now they were like a pair of bright blue candlelights.

After a few more moments, Thorin propped himself up on his elbows and kissed her again, with more passion this time, on the lips and all over the face, and then finishing with her lips again. It didn't last long, usuall, but it was enough to make her feel loved and cherished like never before.

And then – since on these days they were free to be a bit lazy, when Thorin had no regal duties to attend to – they loved to spend a long moment in the bed together, laying side by side, simply enjoying each other's presence. Usually their fingers were entwined lovingly, and they stared at each other with love in their eyes, whispering sweet words into each other's ears.

 _My sweet, my dear, my love..._ Who would have thought that one day the King in person would say such things to Laurelin ?

Later, once they were both up and completely awoken, Thorin walked back to his chambers, where he washed and dressed quickly – and alone, since he didn't want anybody but Laurelin to be this close to him. It never took him long. Then he took the tray of food awaiting him, and he shared the first meal of the day with Laurelin.

Of course Laurelin hadn't resumed working so far, so there was another woman who cooked for Thorin and who worked as his personal servant. She was small and strong, with a round face and a friendly smile on her full lips. She was not as good as Laurelin – nobody was – yet Thorin was still very pleased with her. Of course she had noticed that Thorin never ate alone in his chambers she had noticed he always brought his breakfast over to Laurelin's bedroom, and she had guessed – by seeing Thorin take so many precautions to go unnoticed – that the King didn't want anybody to know about their relationship. She had never said a word about it to Thorin, yet he knew she wouldn't talk. She wasn't some silly, chatty young girl. She was a reliable, trustworthy servant and no word escaped her sealed lips. Thorin was sure she would have died rather than betraying her master's secrets, and he genuinely appreciated the woman for it. After a few days, the woman had even started bringing more food from the kitchens, to be sure there was enough for two.

After their breakfast, Thorin always gave Laurelin one last kiss, and wished her a good day.

Laurelin's shoulder was wounded, but her legs sported no more than a few harmless bruises, so after Thorin's departure she always left her bedchamber sometimes she went to the market, sometimes she strolled through the lively corridors of Erebor, and sometimes whe went as far as taking a walk in the small valley between Erebor and Dale. The sun and the fresh air made always made her feel healthy and alive. Sometimes, she also carried a basket of dirty laundry in her healthy arm and brought it to the washing girls, who always welcomed her with a smile and chatter happily with her.

Thorin, on his side, didn't have the time to enjoy himself as much as Laurelin did. He had duties and responsibilities, and in a kingdom as vast as Erebor – with so many inhabitants – there was always some problem that needed to be dealt with, or some people who needed to be listened to. Thorin never complained about it, because he loved watching over his people and his kingdom like that. He loved being the one his folk turned to, to solve their problems. Yet now that he was with Laurelin, some small part of his mind kept missing her when she was far as much as he enjoyed his high status, there were days he wished he was no more than a commoner so he could have the freedom to spend more time with her.

Sometimes during these four months, Thorin had to leave the Kingdom for a day – mostly to negotiate or to sign treaties with the city of Dale. He always felt guitly on these occasions, guitly to leave Laurelin alone behind when he wanted nothing but to cuddle her in his arms all day. But fortunately, his duties never made him leave Erebor for more than a few hours in a row, and he could always join his beloved one in her bed once night had fallen.

There were days, too – not many but it happened – when Thorin's schedule left him some free time during the day. Whenever it happened, he sought Laurelin's presence part of him knew it was dangerous, because the more time he spent with her the more suspicous it would look to other people – but he couln't help it. He just _needed_ to see her. They did everything they could to make it look as if they were no more than master and servant, and this little game added a bit of thrill to their meetings, yet another part of Thorin's mind wished they wouldn't have anything to hide at all. Having to refrain from kissing her or holding her hand because the corridors were full of people was torture, and more than once he almost betrayed their little secret by instinctively reaching out for her.

At midday, Thorin usually ate in the Great Hall of Erebor, where his people could see him and talk to him if they felt the need to. Thrain had once told Thorin that King must always be available for his folk the Dwarves did not need a distant King on a pedestal, but a man they could speak to.

Laurelin, on her side, ate in her chambers, because her morning walk usually left her tired and eager to be alone for a few moments. She enjoyed the quiet and the silence of her private chambers, then she waited for Thorin because she knew he always managed to find a few moments for her after his midday meal. It never lasted long – sometimes it was just a minute or two, because he was always very busy and he was also afraid it may look odd to the other people that he spent so much time with her – but he always came. Every day. Usually they just talked animatedly about everything that happened during the morning, and they kissed, and when Thorin felt that Laurelin was in pain he gave her a small, tender massage to ease the pain away. They loved to cuddle and to whisper sweet words into each other's ears, their secret well-protected by the thick walls of stone. Sometimes Thorin also brought her books from the library, because he knew that due to her low status Laurelin always felt a bit ill at ease among the highborn Dwarves who usually spent time there.

Sometimes Thorin's servant was with him when they met in the halls of Erebor of course they never kissed in front of her, out of modesty – and also out of respect for Laurelin's reputation – but since she knew the truth about them they relaxed in her presence and didn't feel the need to hide their affection in front of her. Once, she even went as far as telling them they were a lovely couple, even if Thorin had detected a very subtle hint of disapproval in her voice – and he couldn't blame her, for he knew very well why it was so. When a man loved and respected a woman, then he married her and made her his official wife. By keeping their relationship secret, he acted as if he was ashamed of her, as if it was just some dirty affair he didn't want people to know about. Of course, it wasn't Thorin's intent to pass on such a message – because the love he felt for Laurelin was true and deep – yet he knew this was the way things worked, in their society. It reminded him once more that he would have to do something about it, as soon as possible, before this situation could stain Laurelin's honour.

When the day was over, they usually they reunited briefy to exchange a few kisses, then they went their own way again. Thorin went back to his chambers, were he had a bath prepared by his servant. She had learned quickly enough how to prepare it properly he liked it hot, but not too much, and scented with oils or bath salts that helped him relax after the stress of the day. The first evening, the serving woman had straightforwardly asked Thorin if he needed help with his bath, but Thorin had replied gently -but firmly – that he would rather bathe alone. He knew that the woman's intentions were honorable - she just tried to help her master in every way she could – but it was just impossible for him to have anybody around while he was naked in the water. It wasn't out of modesty, but because this taks was, and would forever be, Laurelin's task. No other woman would be able to bring him what Laurelin used to bring him when she helped him, no other woman's touch would be as good and relaxing as Laurelin's touch. It was something that belonged to Laurelin, and to nobody else. Of course she was wounded and couldn't do this task for the moment he missed her, because everything just felt so empty without her, yet he was also glad that she wasn't here. Now that they weren't acting as master and servant anymore, now that they were a couple in love, it would have been much more embarrassing for him to let her see him naked. The change in their relationship would have made it awkward, maybe even a bit unpleasant, and he definitely didn't want to put Laurelin through this.

Once Thorin was done with his bath, he dressed quickly and braided his hair himself, before taking the tray of food and taking it down to Laurelin's chamber the corridors of the royal aisle were generally bustling with activity at this hour of the day, and it wasn't easy for him to walk over to Laurelin's chamber without being noticed.

Laurelin always welcomed him with a beaming smile, and they sat down together to wolf down the tasty food, chattering and laughing happily while eating. Since Laurelin's days were a bit dull, because she was hurt and she couldn't do much, Thorin was usually the one who talked most during their dinners together. He told Laurelin about everything that had happened during the day, and she gave him her opinion or her advice on the situations he described her. Sometimes they discussed some problem for a while, trying to work out a solution together.

Then, when the meal was finished, they put the dishes and the leftovers back on the tray together, still talking animatedly. Of course Thorin would not bring it back to his own chambers immediately, because walking too often from one room to the other would have looked suspicious, so he just let it rest on the table for the night he would bring it back next day. His servant knew it, and she had adjusted to their routine easily enough.

They spend their evenings playing cards or dice, or reading a book together like they had done for so many years in the Blue Mountains. Their new intimacy, though, made everything  
even better.

When the time came to go to sleep, Thorin usually climbed into the bed first, because he was the one sleeping against the wall. Once he was abed, Laurelin disrobed and slipped into her nightclothes, behind the dressing screen in one corner of her bedroom. Thorin did his best to keep his eyes aways from her – he didn't mean to disrespect her, or to intrude into her private space – yet sometimes he could help but look at her, as if his eyes were drawn to her by some magic. He couldn't see much, just her dark silhouette outlined behind the fabric of the screen, and it was enough to fill him with a mix of pride, desire and tenderness. His hands craved to touch her bare skin, her warm flesh. His mind couldn't help but try and imagine how soft she would be under his fingers, how maddeningly good it would be to kiss every inch of her body. He tried to refrain from having such thoughts, because he saw it as directful towards her, to think about such things without her knowing or consenting, but sometimes it was hard to stop thinking like that. His feelings for her, his desire for her were just too strong to be refrained, after holding them back for years.

Then Laurelin joined Thorin in the bed, and their hands insticntively found each other as they cuddled together under the warmth of the blankets.

Some days Thorin's duties had him busy till late into the night – it didn't happen very often, but it _did_ happen from time to time. On these days Laurelin always waited for him, to see him back safe and sound. Of course the war was over, and she knew he was in no real danger, but the fear of losing him had inhabited her for several years, after Thorin had left her for the quest of Erebor. It had sunken its claws into her, and now it was reluctant to let go. Whenever Thorin was not near Laurelin, she couldn't help but worry. Sleeping without knowing where he was was impossible, particularly now that she had gotten used to his comforting presence in her bed every night. Only when she was truly exhausted did she fall asleep while waiting for Thorin. Whenever this happened, Thorin just slipped silently into the bed at her side, as softly as possible, to not wake her. Laurelin, even asleep, was drawn to him. Her body eagerly cuddled up against Thorin's, seeking his warmth, his comfort, his reassuring presence. He loved to kiss her on whaterver part of her body that was available : her lips, her cheeks, her hair, her neck, her shoulders...

But no matter which was the situation – whether they fell asleep together, or he joined her later – one thing _never_ changed.

Thorin always ended the day with the same words :

 **« Good night, my sweet Laurelin. »**


	32. MORE

Four months had gone by since Thorin had declared his love to Laurelin. Four months of secret love and stolen kisses, four months of creeping in the shadows to remain unnoticed.

One day, Thorin found himself knocking at Laurelin's door, shortly before mid-morning. He had left her very early this morning, so early dawn had not even started to colour the sky at the horizon of course he hadn't woken her, because he knew how much she needed her rest, but it had left him a bit frustrated to leave her alone without even getting a chance to kiss her good-bye. As soon as his duties had been over, he had taken the familiar way to Laurelin's chambers. He knocked very softly, casting quick glances around him to be sure no one saw him standing there with such an eagerness on his face. One look at Thorin's face would have been enough even for the thickest Dwarf to guess what was happening. He didn't get an answer, so he knocked a second time. Still no answer. Maybe she had gone out ? Maybe she was still asleep ? He opened the door very slowly, so it wouldn't wake her if she was resting. He just wanted to have a quick peek into her bedroom.

But he had barely opened the door when he saw that Laurelin was sitting in her bath tub, and she was busy washing herself. She was turning her back on him, so she didn't see him and she just kept rubbing her skin with the sponge. Thorin froze immediately. He had expected anything but this. In fact, he had never seen her without her clothes, or in such an intimate situation. For a long moment he just stood there, unable to decide what to do. If he retreated and closed the door again, would she hear it ? Would she understand he had seen her in her bath ? How embarrassing would that be, for the  
both of them ?

 _Mahal give me courage..._ He prayed silently, hoping he would be stealthy enough to remain unnoticed.

But then, suddenly, another thought woke up in his head. A very troubling thought. Suddenly he felt very hot as his eyes lingered on Laurelin's bare back, on her shoulders, on her waist. The water was dripping down her white skin, and sometimes when she moved he caught a quick glimpse of her heavy breasts. Lust and desire suddenly made his blood boil, yet on the other side he felt guilty for having such thoughts because he was watching her without her consent. Such behaviour was anything but honourable, but his eyes refused to obey when he wanted to look away. He was drawn to her, and a wave of desire rose in him, so powerful that it left him trembling and shivering. Never before had he felt such a need to touch her, to be close to her, yet he also remembered that he was looking at Laurelin without her even knowing about his presence. He took a deep breath to calm down, then he closed the door again, as silently as a ghost.

For a long moment it was impossible for him to move. He just stood there, next to her door, his eyes closed and leaning against the wall because his legs suddenly felt as weak as jelly. He did his best to regain some composure, but wasn't very successful at it. He already knew that he wouldn't be able to look Laurelin in the eyes again, when she would be standing in front of him again.

When he had regained some control over his body, he decided to find Dwalin and spar with him in the training yard. He was sure that using his sword would distract him from the troubling thoughs that were invading his mind right now – yet he was wrong. Even as he was sparring with his old friend, he couldn't help but remember how white her skin had been, how soft her curves had looked. And it was impossible for him to focus on anything else. Dwalin's kept hitting him with his blade even though it was blunt and padded, it hurt and it would leave bruises on Thorin's body, he knew it, but even this wasn't enough to make him concentrate on the fight.

 **« Forget it... »** Dwalin declared after a while, dropping his sword, when he noticed how unconcentrated his opponent was. **« If you don't pay attention to the fight, I'll end up unintentionally killing you ! »** He said, shaking his bald head, but then a smile stretched his lips, making his rough face shine with mirth and amusement. **« You look like a silly girl, when you're daydreaming like that... »** He said, chuckling loudly.

He gave Thorin a friendly pat on the shoulder, then they went separate ways.

Thorin was torn between the desire to go back to Laurelin as soon as possible, and the shame that overwhelmed him every time he remembered that he had spied on her while she had been unaware of his presence. He struggled with these radically opposed options for a while, but in the second one that won the battle – the shame. He took great care to stay away from the royal aisle or from all the other places were Laurelin might be, like the library or the market. He was sure that if she saw him, she would guess the truth of what had happened. He was sure he would lose her if she knew how despicably he had acted. Fortunately, he had enough things to do to stay away from her without rousing any suspicions in Laurelin's mind the day before, he had shown her the list of all the people who had asked for a private word with him, so she would not expect him and she would not be worried by his absence.

And so the day went by, with Thorin listening to the complaints of other Dwarves and trying to work out solutions to solve these problems. It was wearisome work Dwarves were a stubborn race, and trying to reason them was just as easy as trying to move a mountain with bare hands. After a few hours, Azog and Smaug started looking like a jolly and friendly pair of troublemakers, compared to the stubborness of his own folk. Once a Dwarf's pride was wounded by some slight – even if it was no more than a mere trifle – it was very hard to make him see reason again, and a worthless quarrel between neighbours could take monstruous proportions in the blink of an eyes.

By the end of the day, Thorin was so exhausted and weary that he had completely forgotten about the shame he had been feeling earlier that day. He wanted nothing but to get lost in Laurelin's sweet arms. He washed quickly, then he gathered the tray of food and brought it over to her bedroom. She welcomed him with a smile, and Thorin sighed inwardly as he saw her. For a moment he thought about nothing but to enjoy her company and her lively chatter, while they ate dinner together. They talked and they laughed and they both spent a wonderful evening.

Later, when Laurelin retreated behind the screen to undress before the night, everything suddenly came back to Thorin. Memories of Laurelin in her bath overwhelmed his mind, and his desire for her woke again, stronger than ever. Right now he saw nothing but her silhouette, dark against the flickering light of a candle, but he could remember well enough the pale colour of her bare skin, as he had seen it in the morning, dripping with water in the light of the early morning sun. He felt very hot again. He couldn't help but try to imagine what was happening behind the screen sometimes, he caught a glimpse of her round, appetizing shapes when she moved, and he tried to imagine what she would look like if she stood in front of him bare naked, in all her glory and splendour. He wanted nothing but to feel the warmth of her skin under his hands, to feel the softness of her flesh as he ran his hands all over her body. He blew the candle on the table next to the bed, so that Laurelin would not see how flushed his face was, when she would come out from behind the screen.

When Laurelin was finished, she folded her clothes and her underwear, and put it neatly on a chair for the next day. She saw Thorin's eyes linger on them for a long while, and suddenly she felt very self-conscious usually she felt at ease in his presence, even when she wore nothing but a nightshirt, but tonight she could feel something was different. There was something else, something she couldn't really name. As if the air was filled with something that made her heart flutter. It wasn't unpleasant, no. It was just very unsettling, and suddenly she was aware that she wore nothing under the thin fabric of her nightshirt. She shuddered, and felt her pulse speed up.

When she slipped into the bed right next to him, though, he acted as he always did, with infinite tenderness. His hands were slightly bolder than usual, resting on her hips instead of her waist, but this was the only noticeable change. In the end, they lay in the bed side by side, their hands entwined as always, with Laurelin's body cuddled against Thorin's bigger, stronger body. Yet she had a hard time falling asleep, because the tension she had been feeling in the air tonight – and the glint in Thorin's blue eyes - had woken something in her. It had woken a hunger, a craving that she had never experienced before. Thorin's skin was very warm against her, and she could feel the hard muscles under the layer of skin. It made her feel strangely aroused, and the sensation was so strong it was almost painful. She toyed with the idea of waking him – the urge to touch him and kiss him was so powerful – yet she knew how hard his day had been, she knew hos much he needed to rest. The reasonable side of her won the battle, so she just clenched her teeth and tried to quench the fire that was burning in her veins.

And when she fell asleep at last – in the darkest hours of the night – she dreamt of Thorin's hands on her body, of course.


End file.
